DUI and Death on Harrison

[Anonymous]

There’s going to be a lot of info coming into investigators about where these kids drank, who bought the alcohol, who served it, witnesses who saw how the car was operated before it crashed, speed of car, etc. Could be other prosecutions coming out of this.

[Anonymous]

Every single one of the people in this thread who are being extremely judgmental had better:

1. Have a teenager and have been exposed to some small portion of the absolutely boneheaded decisions that they can make in one day;

2. Have talked to said teenager/s about drugs and alcohol and have offered their services to their teenagers at any hour of the day, no penalties to be invoked, to serve as a driver in cases where said teens could otherwise be exposed to a driver under the influence;

3. Have never themselves ever have consumed more than one alcoholic beverage and then gotten behind the wheel of a car (and must have waited an hour after that one beverage);

4. Have never themselves either drank alcohol before they were legal to do so and never did any illegal drugs of any kind before the age of 25, because doing so at such a young age endangers the lives of those around you due to the ill considered decision making you are likely to engage in as a young person as a result.

I hope this is helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The issue is those of us with kids in this age cohort with these boys know it’s not just some random it could happen to anyone situation. The situation 2 years ago wasn’t either with the carful of boys who killed the other kid. There are kids who behave this way and the kids know who they are. There are families who enable jt and many people know who they are.

It can sometimes be random and sometimes it’s all not that big of a surprise. Doesn’t change what a tragedy it is or empathy for the families.

Someone randomly got drunk?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every single one of the people in this thread who are being extremely judgmental had better:

1. Have a teenager and have been exposed to some small portion of the absolutely boneheaded decisions that they can make in one day;

2. Have talked to said teenager/s about drugs and alcohol and have offered their services to their teenagers at any hour of the day, no penalties to be invoked, to serve as a driver in cases where said teens could otherwise be exposed to a driver under the influence;

3. Have never themselves ever have consumed more than one alcoholic beverage and then gotten behind the wheel of a car (and must have waited an hour after that one beverage);

4. Have never themselves either drank alcohol before they were legal to do so and never did any illegal drugs of any kind before the age of 25, because doing so at such a young age endangers the lives of those around you due to the ill considered decision making you are likely to engage in as a young person as a result.

I hope this is helpful.

And as the PP who posted this, I can claim all of these, and because of #1, I absolutely understand how terrible things like this happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The issue is those of us with kids in this age cohort with these boys know it’s not just some random it could happen to anyone situation. The situation 2 years ago wasn’t either with the carful of boys who killed the other kid. There are kids who behave this way and the kids know who they are. There are families who enable jt and many people know who they are.

It can sometimes be random and sometimes it’s all not that big of a surprise. Doesn’t change what a tragedy it is or empathy for the families.

Someone randomly got drunk?

A lot of people in this conversation seem very invested in the it could happen to anyone idea. What I meant is the kids involved could feel random and surprising. Kids never known to engage in the type of behavior. Shocking. A one off. Billy never had a drink, let alone driving drunk. One mistake the one time that led to the horrible outcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every single one of the people in this thread who are being extremely judgmental had better:

1. Have a teenager and have been exposed to some small portion of the absolutely boneheaded decisions that they can make in one day;

2. Have talked to said teenager/s about drugs and alcohol and have offered their services to their teenagers at any hour of the day, no penalties to be invoked, to serve as a driver in cases where said teens could otherwise be exposed to a driver under the influence;

3. Have never themselves ever have consumed more than one alcoholic beverage and then gotten behind the wheel of a car (and must have waited an hour after that one beverage);

4. Have never themselves either drank alcohol before they were legal to do so and never did any illegal drugs of any kind before the age of 25, because doing so at such a young age endangers the lives of those around you due to the ill considered decision making you are likely to engage in as a young person as a result.

I hope this is helpful.

It’s not helpful. This is dumb. A person can have done these things at some point and still understand there are patterns of behavior from adults and kids that make a bad outcome more likely. Why is everyone so worried about being judged or judging? You can sit around and be sanctimonious and nonjudgmental. I’d like to think about patterns and systemic issues to notice and identify so that I can make this a less likely outcome for my own kid and a less likely outcome they’ll meet the kid doing this some fateful night when they’re driving around sober. And yes I have teenagers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The issue is those of us with kids in this age cohort with these boys know it’s not just some random it could happen to anyone situation. The situation 2 years ago wasn’t either with the carful of boys who killed the other kid. There are kids who behave this way and the kids know who they are. There are families who enable jt and many people know who they are.

It can sometimes be random and sometimes it’s all not that big of a surprise. Doesn’t change what a tragedy it is or empathy for the families.

Someone randomly got drunk?

A lot of people in this conversation seem very invested in the it could happen to anyone idea. What I meant is the kids involved could feel random and surprising. Kids never known to engage in the type of behavior. Shocking. A one off. Billy never had a drink, let alone driving drunk. One mistake the one time that led to the horrible outcome.

A lot of other posts in this thread seem very invested in the idea that they absolutely could prevent their teenager from ever being involved in something like this because they have the superior parenting skillz and their teenagers would never. I agree there are things you can do as a parent to prevent this, but I won’t pretend it’s inconceivable that something like this could ever affect my kids because of decisions they made. That’s hubris.

[Anonymous]

Whatever one calls this, a mistake or stupid, this 18 year old will be in jail for many years. He will know he ruined his life.

[Anonymous]

After the school shooting parent prosecutions, could someone be charged (for manslaughter or similar)for serving alcohol to someone underage who killed someone while DUI?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The issue is those of us with kids in this age cohort with these boys know it’s not just some random it could happen to anyone situation. The situation 2 years ago wasn’t either with the carful of boys who killed the other kid. There are kids who behave this way and the kids know who they are. There are families who enable jt and many people know who they are.

It can sometimes be random and sometimes it’s all not that big of a surprise. Doesn’t change what a tragedy it is or empathy for the families.

Someone randomly got drunk?

A lot of people in this conversation seem very invested in the it could happen to anyone idea. What I meant is the kids involved could feel random and surprising. Kids never known to engage in the type of behavior. Shocking. A one off. Billy never had a drink, let alone driving drunk. One mistake the one time that led to the horrible outcome.

A lot of other posts in this thread seem very invested in the idea that they absolutely could prevent their teenager from ever being involved in something like this because they have the superior parenting skillz and their teenagers would never. I agree there are things you can do as a parent to prevent this, but I won’t pretend it’s inconceivable that something like this could ever affect my kids because of decisions they made. That’s hubris.

We agree. It is not inconceivable it could happen to any of our kids and there are some families and kids where there is a pattern of behavior that makes it more likely. To me this is a bit beside the point. The point is I’d like my kids to be in the first bucket of it’s not inconceivable it could be them but I’ve done what I can to prevent it.

[Anonymous]

It’s a tragedy for all involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The issue is those of us with kids in this age cohort with these boys know it’s not just some random it could happen to anyone situation. The situation 2 years ago wasn’t either with the carful of boys who killed the other kid. There are kids who behave this way and the kids know who they are. There are families who enable jt and many people know who they are.

It can sometimes be random and sometimes it’s all not that big of a surprise. Doesn’t change what a tragedy it is or empathy for the families.

Someone randomly got drunk?

A lot of people in this conversation seem very invested in the it could happen to anyone idea. What I meant is the kids involved could feel random and surprising. Kids never known to engage in the type of behavior. Shocking. A one off. Billy never had a drink, let alone driving drunk. One mistake the one time that led to the horrible outcome.

A lot of other posts in this thread seem very invested in the idea that they absolutely could prevent their teenager from ever being involved in something like this because they have the superior parenting skillz and their teenagers would never. I agree there are things you can do as a parent to prevent this, but I won’t pretend it’s inconceivable that something like this could ever affect my kids because of decisions they made. That’s hubris.

However, ascribing this event to some random uncontrollable circumstances absolves the teenager from any culpability. Actions have consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every single one of the people in this thread who are being extremely judgmental had better:

1. Have a teenager and have been exposed to some small portion of the absolutely boneheaded decisions that they can make in one day;

2. Have talked to said teenager/s about drugs and alcohol and have offered their services to their teenagers at any hour of the day, no penalties to be invoked, to serve as a driver in cases where said teens could otherwise be exposed to a driver under the influence;

3. Have never themselves ever have consumed more than one alcoholic beverage and then gotten behind the wheel of a car (and must have waited an hour after that one beverage);

4. Have never themselves either drank alcohol before they were legal to do so and never did any illegal drugs of any kind before the age of 25, because doing so at such a young age endangers the lives of those around you due to the ill considered decision making you are likely to engage in as a young person as a result.

I hope this is helpful.

It’s not helpful. This is dumb. A person can have done these things at some point and still understand there are patterns of behavior from adults and kids that make a bad outcome more likely. Why is everyone so worried about being judged or judging? You can sit around and be sanctimonious and nonjudgmental. I’d like to think about patterns and systemic issues to notice and identify so that I can make this a less likely outcome for my own kid and a less likely outcome they’ll meet the kid doing this some fateful night when they’re driving around sober. And yes I have teenagers.

+1

[Anonymous]

Such a horribly sad situation. I live in Arlington and have many 2nd and 3rd degree connections with both families. These are good kids we’re talking about! As are most kids, partiers or not. My heart breaks for all concerned. Of course the deceased boy’s parents most of all. He was an only child and a smart, kind young man. Why do our smart kind young men put themselves in these situations?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I graduated ytown 35 years ago and we used to drive blinded drunk. Awful, inexcusable. But we always had our seat belts on - bc we KNEW the guy driving was drunk. And half 3-4-5 times i or people i knew lives were saved bc of that, all in single car accidents like the one here. The fact the deceased didnt have his seat belt on is close second in awful judgment to the driver, esp bc he knew for a fact the driver was drunk - it was his close friend. If I was that driver and sitting in Arlington jail my life over, I would be pretty pissed that the dude didnt wear his seatbelt. If If he had been, those kids would have flipped that car and all scurried away from the scene and would be texting one another about how crazy the night was.

Ugh, no. You’re out of your damn mind.