Broke due to child support and alimony

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Move to a different country and give up your citizenship. Send checks only to coveje kids.

US divorce courts are GROSSLY unfair to men. Period.

The faster you get out the better. Singapore speaks English everywhere. You are literally a modern day slave who'll keep laying alimony for for. It's slavery.

The data on courts being unfair to men would disagree with your assertion. In general, men tend to come out of divorces okay financially, but it often tips women and children into poverty.

This.
I also saw a statistic that men who ask for custody get it 93% of the time.

I’m sure there are cases that are unfair toward men out there, but they certainly aren’t the majority.

I also saw at satistic that 97% of all alimony payments are made by men. This is even though these days 50% of the workforce is women and there are now more college graduates that are women than men. Alimony is supposed to be gender neutral, yet courts are massively biased against men when it comes to alimony payments.

Gosh, yes there are just so many men downshifting job to support their hard working wives in top jobs. They all get alimony since those guys with the dad jobs supported the house, family and kids whilst Mom focused on her career building.

The men I know who did this DO get alimony.
Honestly, the men who were in and out of rehab throughout the marriage get alimony. Nearly every man who asks for alimony gets it.

Yup. The mental disorder dads who keep getting fired also get child support and alimony from their MC, UMC ex wife.
Good stuff.

About 2 percent of alimony in America is paid by women.

That’s an old statistic. It was 10 percent in 2018 and probably higher now.

Oh wow, big whoop. 90% still paid by men. Even if the number is 20% that still means men pay 80%. Still GROSSLY unfair to men. Look at all of the nastiness Kevin Federline got for asking for it from Brittany even though women have gotten far higher from their famous ex.husbands.

Ah, theres a Dad of the Year for you back in the day when the kids were little. He wanted $50k a month so he could hire Nannie’s and cooks and maids. Not to spend time with the kid.

So in other words exactly what every woman has ever wanted from their famous ex husbands. $50k was low. Brit got off easy.

Except that those moms DO spend a ton of time with their kids.

As well as a lot of time shopping, going on trips, and posting their fancy brunch on insta

Or, with their boyfriends.

[Anonymous]

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[When you're married you have to agree how the money is spent. When you're divorced you decide for yourself. The whole reason people hate child support is you give money to someone else and you have no control over how it is spent, despite the ostensible rationale that it's "for the children".]

There is no rule that you have to agree on how money is spent when you are married. If I wanted to go out right now and buy a car, I could do it without my husband’s approval. If he wanted to put a tens of thousands on a high risk stock in an e*trade account, he could do it without my approval.
I guess that maybe he could sell the car. It would be hard for me to pull the money from the e*trade account without him giving me the account information.
The only real recourse you have is being angry.

He couldn't sell the car if it's in your name or jointly without your consent (legally). But, this because I can do what ever I want (but my husband doesn't care) and he could to.

Yes. We can both spend our joint income however we want to create a nice home and raise our family.
As the woman in a fairly traditional marriage, I spend most of the money because I do nearly all of the grocery shopping, clothes shopping for the family, vacation planning, signing kids up for activities, gift buying, home decorating, etc.

If we split, I would have a lot less money to do that with. It’s in my best interest, financially, to remain married.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I receive child support from my ex. Raising children is expensive. People who pay child support often underestimate all the cost. My ex is not rich nor is he poor. However the amount he sends me no doubt put me in a much better financial situation than him. He agreed to the amount and I wonder if he regrets it. We shouldn’t be quick to dismiss people who feel they are being strangled with the payments. Using our kids to punish our exes for whatever they have or have not done in the marriage is poor form.

Well this is why 50/50 should be the norm.

If you can’t afford to take care of your kids than he should keep them.

As for men, staying away from marriage is the best course if action for most men

He probably doesn’t want them, pp.
There are a lot of men out there who do not want primary custody of their children, or even 50/50.

If in a divorce both spouses want custody can a judge still give custody to just one of them and the other has to pay? Assuming no abuse, no DV but there is cheating. Or no cheating but one wants the divorce and other doesn't and one wants full custody but other wants to share?

If divorce is mutual and shared custody no one pays anything to the other?

It it completely up to the judge. Some judges always side with the women in the divorce and will give them everything.

How come no one I know ever gets those judges? Do they not sit on benches in MoCo?

Judges like that tend to be more conservative, older men.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:The old saying is, “It’s cheaper to keep her.”

But you only get a 50% say in that. She can leave (and get cash and prizes for doing so) no matter what you want.

Don’t be an A-hole and she won’t leave!

[Anonymous]

I just turned 32 years old, and I am seriously considering not getting married in my lifetime. I have a net worth of 15M and a salary of 500K per year. At the same time, I do want to have children. I plan on paying someone to carry a couple of kids for me and hire a full-time nanny to take care of them after they are born. I do not see any upsides and plenty of downsides to getting married if it ends up in divorce. A pre-nup is not 100% guaranteed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just turned 32 years old, and I am seriously considering not getting married in my lifetime. I have a net worth of 15M and a salary of 500K per year. At the same time, I do want to have children. I plan on paying someone to carry a couple of kids for me and hire a full-time nanny to take care of them after they are born. I do not see any upsides and plenty of downsides to getting married if it ends up in divorce. A pre-nup is not 100% guaranteed.

You should get dogs instead. But if your heart is set on making a difference in the life of a child there are numerous volunteer opportunities that could fulfill that need. You can become a youth sports coach or referee, tutor, mentor, benefactor, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just turned 32 years old, and I am seriously considering not getting married in my lifetime. I have a net worth of 15M and a salary of 500K per year. At the same time, I do want to have children. I plan on paying someone to carry a couple of kids for me and hire a full-time nanny to take care of them after they are born. I do not see any upsides and plenty of downsides to getting married if it ends up in divorce. A pre-nup is not 100% guaranteed.

Dont have children if you feel this way about women, specifically in marriage. Youre whole plan is removed from reality and I cant tell if you have actually looked into this money-wise or you are just having a knee jerk impulsive reaction. Surrogacy, when done correctly, cost a LOT of money. Full-time nannies cost a lot of money. If you have a stressful job you will need 3 nannies, 8 hour shifts and then coverage for travel and sick leave. X a couple of kids.

Children are not businesses that can be run by people "you trust" and the "money will keep them there". They are vulnerable, need lots of attention and love and proper attachment.

Be more diligent about the kind of women you date and have some real self-reflection about your ability to be a husband and you may not have the problems that you seem to envision.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I just turned 32 years old, and I am seriously considering not getting married in my lifetime. I have a net worth of 15M and a salary of 500K per year. At the same time, I do want to have children. I plan on paying someone to carry a couple of kids for me and hire a full-time nanny to take care of them after they are born. I do not see any upsides and plenty of downsides to getting married if it ends up in divorce. A pre-nup is not 100% guaranteed.

Dont have children if you feel this way about women, specifically in marriage. Youre whole plan is removed from reality and I cant tell if you have actually looked into this money-wise or you are just having a knee jerk impulsive reaction. Surrogacy, when done correctly, cost a LOT of money. Full-time nannies cost a lot of money. If you have a stressful job you will need 3 nannies, 8 hour shifts and then coverage for travel and sick leave. X a couple of kids.

Children are not businesses that can be run by people "you trust" and the "money will keep them there". They are vulnerable, need lots of attention and love and proper attachment.

Be more diligent about the kind of women you date and have some real self-reflection about your ability to be a husband and you may not have the problems that you seem to envision.

It's an incel troll/fantasy about not needing a woman. This is not actually a 32-year-old making half a million dollars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just turned 32 years old, and I am seriously considering not getting married in my lifetime. I have a net worth of 15M and a salary of 500K per year. At the same time, I do want to have children. I plan on paying someone to carry a couple of kids for me and hire a full-time nanny to take care of them after they are born. I do not see any upsides and plenty of downsides to getting married if it ends up in divorce. A pre-nup is not 100% guaranteed.

I can't imagine having this much money and worrying about life like this. Insane. Many people in the US make $20k a year. I mean do what you want. It's a free country. But are you sure you are going to be able to part with your money for your kids? They may take advantage of you too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dont have children if you feel this way about women, specifically in marriage. Youre whole plan is removed from reality and I cant tell if you have actually looked into this money-wise or you are just having a knee jerk impulsive reaction. Surrogacy, when done correctly, cost a LOT of money. Full-time nannies cost a lot of money. If you have a stressful job you will need 3 nannies, 8 hour shifts and then coverage for travel and sick leave. X a couple of kids.

How much money are we talking about with two kids? 15M is not enough?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:The old saying is, “It’s cheaper to keep her.”

But you only get a 50% say in that. She can leave (and get cash and prizes for doing so) no matter what you want.

No one wants to get a divorce. She doesn’t get cash and prizes. She also loses half of her retirement and access to your entire household income.

The only way a woman would come out financially ahead in divorce vs remaining married would be if her husband was hoarding money away and denying her access to it.

How does she lose half her retirement? Marital retirement assets are split 50/50.

She should lose "access to your entire income" but instead she gets a disproportionate share of it under the fig leaf of "child support".

It is undeniable that women benefit financially from divorce, otherwise women (who are not stupid) would not initiate 75% of divorces.

Too bad men can't have children. I'm sure they would run things so much smoother if they could do it all. Might happen in our lifetime so will see.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just turned 32 years old, and I am seriously considering not getting married in my lifetime. I have a net worth of 15M and a salary of 500K per year. At the same time, I do want to have children. I plan on paying someone to carry a couple of kids for me and hire a full-time nanny to take care of them after they are born. I do not see any upsides and plenty of downsides to getting married if it ends up in divorce. A pre-nup is not 100% guaranteed.

It's not ideal to deprive children of a mother. I think kids need a mom even more than a dad.

Pre nups do work if they are valid and enforceable, i.e. get a good lawyer with expertise in this field.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just turned 32 years old, and I am seriously considering not getting married in my lifetime. I have a net worth of 15M and a salary of 500K per year. At the same time, I do want to have children. I plan on paying someone to carry a couple of kids for me and hire a full-time nanny to take care of them after they are born. I do not see any upsides and plenty of downsides to getting married if it ends up in divorce. A pre-nup is not 100% guaranteed.

It's not ideal to deprive children of a mother. I think kids need a mom even more than a dad.

Pre nups do work if they are valid and enforceable, i.e. get a good lawyer with expertise in this field.

Which he can afford. He just doesn't want to because he has control issues

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just turned 32 years old, and I am seriously considering not getting married in my lifetime. I have a net worth of 15M and a salary of 500K per year. At the same time, I do want to have children. I plan on paying someone to carry a couple of kids for me and hire a full-time nanny to take care of them after they are born. I do not see any upsides and plenty of downsides to getting married if it ends up in divorce. A pre-nup is not 100% guaranteed.

Skip the kids part, you sound very naive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just turned 32 years old, and I am seriously considering not getting married in my lifetime. I have a net worth of 15M and a salary of 500K per year. At the same time, I do want to have children. I plan on paying someone to carry a couple of kids for me and hire a full-time nanny to take care of them after they are born. I do not see any upsides and plenty of downsides to getting married if it ends up in divorce. A pre-nup is not 100% guaranteed.

“Salary”!?!?

Ordinary income W-2 guy!?!?

Lol