Broke due to child support and alimony

[Anonymous]

Your wife doesn’t get to pick how much the payments are so the law is telling you this is the right amount to support your kids and ex wife.

[Anonymous]

I’m totally certain that OP did everything in his power to let his ex wife flourish in her career. He probably did most night wake ups, helped with drop off and pick up evenly, took care of sick days and appointments and classes and sports and valentines and birthdays and vacations just as much. I’m sure that she didn’t have to step back her earning potential or give up dreams to be married to him with kids. Keep complaining, OP..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same I get $1900/m but my ex makes $600K, so it’s not a lot considering his income.

Who was his lawyer? I was ordered to pay $1100 a month on a $50k salary.

I’m in the same boat OP! Except in my case my ex cheated on me and was abusive and still ended up with the kids. On top of CS I am in a 5 year bankruptcy plan paying money I charged to escape the marriage.

Good times.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m totally certain that OP did everything in his power to let his ex wife flourish in her career. He probably did most night wake ups, helped with drop off and pick up evenly, took care of sick days and appointments and classes and sports and valentines and birthdays and vacations just as much. I’m sure that she didn’t have to step back her earning potential or give up dreams to be married to him with kids. Keep complaining, OP..

Oh sh***t up please lol. Your classic assumption that Dads are just laying on the couch doing nothing is so old. Come up with a new one please.

[Anonymous]

OP,

I have no axe to grind, given I'm married and not likely to divorce, but if you feel this is unfair to you, please consult another lawyer, and possibly go back to court. It does happen that the first financial agreement is wrong and needs to be adjusted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am broke due to the amount I am paying in child support and alimony. Ex wife refused mediation and now I understand why. Before people jumped and I say I deserve this and so forth there was no physical or verbal or financial abuse no cheating on either side. The marriage just broke down.

The percentage of my monthly take home that goes to child support and alimony is insane. And worse child support exclude sports activities. So our children had to give up swimming and tennis respectively. Their mom seems like she can care less because she got what she wanted anyways. The amount we were spending on our kids while we were married is far less than what I am sending her for child support.

Now I see why some people are eager to file for divorce. The financial incentives are good in some cases for one of the party.

I don’t even know where to begin to rebuild my life. Forget about dating in this modern era where impressing your date is a key condition. And not sure how to do that when you are broke.

I am just ranting. Don’t marry someone who doesn’t have the same exact earning potential as you. My ex was not a stay at home mom. She did earn less than me.[/

OP you are lucky to live in VA. If you ever decide to remarry avoid NY at all cost. In NY 25% of the parents gross pay go to pay child support if you have 2 kids. Then each parent is responsible for their share. I make $105k and get this pay $1900 a month in child support. And that amount is taken from my take home pay. I have to wire that amount to my ex every month. Essentially with my share alone she can pay a significant portion of her rent. And I will have to pay this until the kids are 21 even when they are in college I have to keep making child support payments.

VA is a joke compared to NY.

[Anonymous]

This sounds like Troll post, or else a very manipulative two-faced divorced man feigning ignorance.

[Anonymous]

Even $2000 a month isn’t enough to live large, it might cover rent but that’s it. Kids with divorced parents can’t always afford sports and college now that there are two households to support. If you want those for your kid, you need to start earning more and save.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You made poor choices in life. Now you have to pay for them. Start by finding some more cash so your kids can do activities. You are failing.

+1

Help your kids grow and develop. Focus on that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your wife doesn’t get to pick how much the payments are so the law is telling you this is the right amount to support your kids and ex wife.

Duh

Mr he doesn’t know what his kids were doing so why should he pay child support.

Mr he doesn’t know how his marriage broke.

[Anonymous]

I am not sure what is it that you find surprising, that maintaining two households is more expensive than one? That kids expenses increase as they grow up? It’s not clear to me why you stopped paying for your kids activities, assuming if your spouse got alimony, you were out earning them considerably. There was also significant inflation past few years, so things do feel more expensive anyway.

[Anonymous]

The state does not care about YOU! The state just doesn’t want to end up having to support children who end up in poverty due to divorce.

[Anonymous]

The genius of this situation is that you would probably end up paying 100-150k in lawyers fees to get it changed.

Never never get married

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m totally certain that OP did everything in his power to let his ex wife flourish in her career. He probably did most night wake ups, helped with drop off and pick up evenly, took care of sick days and appointments and classes and sports and valentines and birthdays and vacations just as much. I’m sure that she didn’t have to step back her earning potential or give up dreams to be married to him with kids. Keep complaining, OP..

Oh sh***t up please lol. Your classic assumption that Dads are just laying on the couch doing nothing is so old. Come up with a new one please.

The assumption is that OP’s wife most likely back tracked her own career so they could have kids. So his complaints about her salary are misogynistic and gross.

[Anonymous]

I live in VA and feel you. You’re a man no one cares. I knew a man who had full custody and was as supposed to get CS from his ex-wife and she never laid a dime. Nothing happened.

She left to live with the mom when she turned 15 and six months later he got hit with an order for being in arrears! She never paid a dime in six years.

Anyways this is why getting married is a no go for me now . I won’t and I think every man who is going to has to sit in divorce court for a day. It’s brutal .

Marriage isn’t worth it , never do it