Broke due to child support and alimony

[Anonymous]

I am broke due to the amount I am paying in child support and alimony. Ex wife refused mediation and now I understand why. Before people jumped and I say I deserve this and so forth there was no physical or verbal or financial abuse no cheating on either side. The marriage just broke down.

The percentage of my monthly take home that goes to child support and alimony is insane. And worse child support exclude sports activities. So our children had to give up swimming and tennis respectively. Their mom seems like she can care less because she got what she wanted anyways. The amount we were spending on our kids while we were married is far less than what I am sending her for child support.

Now I see why some people are eager to file for divorce. The financial incentives are good in some cases for one of the party.

I don’t even know where to begin to rebuild my life. Forget about dating in this modern era where impressing your date is a key condition. And not sure how to do that when you are broke.

I am just ranting. Don’t marry someone who doesn’t have the same exact earning potential as you. My ex was not a stay at home mom. She did earn less than me.

[Anonymous]

What state do you live in? In Virginia this most definitely isn't true. I get less than $400/month from my ex.

[Anonymous]

I can relate. I’m in Va and also broke just from alimony. My attorney said middle income people have the hardest time. I can attest to that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What state do you live in? In Virginia this most definitely isn't true. I get less than $400/month from my ex.

y

I live in Virginia. The amount you are getting MUST be related perhaps to your ex much lower income. For child support for example there are various calculators you can find online for VA.

[Anonymous]

Same I get $1900/m but my ex makes $600K, so it’s not a lot considering his income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What state do you live in? In Virginia this most definitely isn't true. I get less than $400/month from my ex.

y

I live in Virginia. The amount you are getting MUST be related perhaps to your ex much lower income. For child support for example there are various calculators you can find online for VA.

Nope, he has another child with another woman so it got lowered when that happened. $400 is based on the state calculator. School-aged child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same I get $1900/m but my ex makes $600K, so it’s not a lot considering his income.

In just child support or total?

[Anonymous]

You made poor choices in life. Now you have to pay for them. Start by finding some more cash so your kids can do activities. You are failing.

[Anonymous]

Alimony? A huge amount of child support in Virginia? When did you get divorced? I am sure it's hurting you financially but it's hard to believe in this day and age that one party in a divorce is getting a windfall, unless she duped the other party into signing a massively unfavorable agreement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What state do you live in? In Virginia this most definitely isn't true. I get less than $400/month from my ex.

y

I live in Virginia. The amount you are getting MUST be related perhaps to your ex much lower income. For child support for example there are various calculators you can find online for VA.

Nope, he has another child with another woman so it got lowered when that happened. $400 is based on the state calculator. School-aged child.

Does it get lowered? My friend’s husband’s ex gets $2400 for his one kid with her. My friend has two kids with her husband and they get way less. They aren’t broke but can’t afford any extras for their kids like extracurriculars. Seems crazy to me that each kid can’t get 1/3 of dads portion instead of the ex getting so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What state do you live in? In Virginia this most definitely isn't true. I get less than $400/month from my ex.

y

I live in Virginia. The amount you are getting MUST be related perhaps to your ex much lower income. For child support for example there are various calculators you can find online for VA.

Nope, he has another child with another woman so it got lowered when that happened. $400 is based on the state calculator. School-aged child.

Does it get lowered? My friend’s husband’s ex gets $2400 for his one kid with her. My friend has two kids with her husband and they get way less. They aren’t broke but can’t afford any extras for their kids like extracurriculars. Seems crazy to me that each kid can’t get 1/3 of dads portion instead of the ex getting so much.

You have to go back to court, but yes any more kids lower the payments which is BS IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same I get $1900/m but my ex makes $600K, so it’s not a lot considering his income.

Crazy. I’m in VA as well and lay ex wife $2k in alimony/child support for 2 kids. I make $180k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Same I get $1900/m but my ex makes $600K, so it’s not a lot considering his income.

In just child support or total?

Total. I do not get alimony.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Same I get $1900/m but my ex makes $600K, so it’s not a lot considering his income.

Crazy. I’m in VA as well and lay ex wife $2k in alimony/child support for 2 kids. I make $180k.

How much is alimony and how much is child support?

[Anonymous]

How much do you make OP and how much are you paying?