Not doing something well is an argument for more practice not less. They applies to anything, including food choices. Yes some kids will develop these skills more slowly, which is why you start early. |
Op, I hope you’re paying attention to the people who have lived with food restrictions, like what you are giving your child.
My kids have a healthy and balanced diet. We eat fruits, vegetables and pretty much all homemade meals. But I also buy Oreos, chips, and candy for them. I have two packages of Oreos sitting in my pantry now and my teens aren’t sneaking them, or hiding when they eat two or three cookies. Food is not forbidden. As to your rant that cookies are gateways to drugs like meth, you can’t really believe that. |
I posted before that I have 12 and 14yo boys. I host a lot of kids. I also have an elementary daughter. I keep a packed pantry of all sorts of snacks. I let my kids eat whatever snacks they want. They can request Oreos or bbq chips. My kids’ friends like to come over and eat our snacks. Most kids don’t make a big deal of it but one or two kids will go nuts and comment on their parents’ food restrictions. I don’t think my kids have any fat friends. I have read on here about some girls sneaking food. I hope parents don’t restrict food for girls who are not thin. |
Geez, give OP a break! She is transitioning from having a young child who only ate the food she provided to a teenager trying to make his own decisions. What worked for her a few years ago doesn't work now. |
This is my story exactly. My mom was extremely rigid about food, coupled with being very critical of her own body, and that of me and my sisters. There was no "junk food" in the house, dessert was homemade yogurt with a tablespoon of fruit, etc. I developed a full-on binging disorder in high school, leading to bulimia and anorexia in university. I almost died. With my own kids, I did a ton of research and made sure that no foods were "off limits" and that no one would ever be allowed to talk about my kids' bodies in front of them. Dessert and junk foods exist at my house, often left over from Halloween or from a birthday party, or from buying GS cookies from the nice little girl at the door. But my kids, who are all the same age as OPs or older, just don't feel the need to binge. They might have one GS cookie after dinner, but more often than not I throw the package away because it gets stale before they finish it. OP - you are doing this wrong, not just for your child's mental health but for their long-term relationship with food. Do better. |
is this post a DCUM joke? 160 pounds on an average sized woman (assume 5'6") and 200 pounds on an average sized man (assume 5'10"-6'0") is hardly overweight. Maybe by 5-10 pounds each? If they're muscular that's not overweight at all. |
OP, suggest next time he buy the individual snack pack of 6-8 cookies. |
This. I’ve started making extra portions for every dinner because my 13yo son is scarfing anything and everything he can find these days. Honestly it reminds me of when I was breastfeeding my kids through a growth spurt and would just scavenge the kitchen for calories while the baby briefly slept (or was screaming while being held by daddy!). Op needs to make sure there’s food available in the house and let the Oreos go. My son learned to make eggs for himself, so he’s able to do that when he’s hungry. But sometimes he’s just too ravenous and he’ll plow through a box of crackers. Kids this age need food. One box of Oreos is not a big deal at all and shouldn’t be treated that way. |
I think what a lot of people are alluding to, but not explicitly saying is that kids need to learn how to control themselves. It's the rare person who has that innate ability.
OP, you say that you are teaching your kid how to eat responsibly, but that really isn't true. You have rules, and you contemplate punishment for breaking them. Those are external restrictions, that don't teach your now-teenager the necessary self-control that he'll need. So, how are you going to go about doing that? And when? |
And that’s the problem with the US. Sorry 160 for a woman is in fact overweight. It just is. |
I am really sick of grown adults blaming their parents for their problems. Parents are blamed if they don't say anything and their kids become overweight and obese. Parents are blamed if they say something and their kids get eating disorders. Kids really need to take responsibility for their own actions |
A normal weight for a 5'6 woman is 117 - 143 lbs. 160 is a lot for most women. And I think average female height is 5'4. We really need to stop normalizing being overweight and obese. |
This isn't a self check process that takes years to work through or adjust to. Based on the way she wrote her post I don't think she is lost in her thought process. She sounds like one of those people that has an idea in her head and that is the way it is going to be no matter what. |
PP here. I’m an adult now with a good relationship with food and a fine relationship with my parents. It all turned out fine. But my eating disorder from age 14 to 24 was at least partially due to my mother’s own relationship to food and the way she projected her shame on me. (I didn’t even get that from therapy, just decades of introspection.) No, not everything is the parents’ fault. But when we see what damage is possible, we can try to do better with the next generation. |
A consequence for this is crazy. |