Married 14 years- Just Learned of Cheating in Year 5

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cheaters only admit to what they think they can get away with. If he said that they met every other week for six months, double or triple that. He's probably still in contact with the AP, sexting or even possibly meeting up when they can. You simply will never know. He has successfully hid this from you for SO LONG.

Being married to an exceptional liar is not a flex. You need to divorce this guy.

+1. Not a flex - it’s creepy, predatory behavior. Your DH may be “trickle truthing” you - telling you what he thinks you already know and he can get away with, hoping you will either be satisfied or so horrified that you will not ask further Qs. By now he’s had a chance to cover tracks, but you should still examine all records - cell phone especially and reverse search #s, check all bank and credit card records, computer history (particularly locations, log ins and search history), email accounts (including draft, trash and spam folders). His cell phone should be open to at all times to you to look at anything you want for as long as you want.

People will say that a relationship/life where you have to play detective like the above isn’t worth it, but it also isn’t worth it to blindly trust someone who has proven your trust was misplaced. Getting the real 411 is the lesser of two evils.

Oh would you just stop it. This thing happened nine years ago when OP surely forgot that she is not just a baby Mommy but a WIFE. As in the kids were nowhere near when OP got married. The whole reason he chose OP is that she promised to be a better option than the ex.

Then OP goes off fussing about her post-partum emotions and fawning over the baby and ignoring DH who's building a better and better career, and he's supposed to ignore all that? Even though OP sold DH a bill of goods about how they would keep the flame alive and she'd be so hot with bigger nursing boobs and whatnot?

Please. An affair screams that there is something wrong with the foundational relationship, that a partner isn't getting what was promised and is seeking it out elsewhere. BOTH parties are EQUALLY responsible.

If OP wants to "fix" things, she better be willing to take a cold look at her own failures. Otherwise, let the past be the past and move on so no one has to feel weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cheaters only admit to what they think they can get away with. If he said that they met every other week for six months, double or triple that. He's probably still in contact with the AP, sexting or even possibly meeting up when they can. You simply will never know. He has successfully hid this from you for SO LONG.

Being married to an exceptional liar is not a flex. You need to divorce this guy.

+1. Not a flex - it’s creepy, predatory behavior. Your DH may be “trickle truthing” you - telling you what he thinks you already know and he can get away with, hoping you will either be satisfied or so horrified that you will not ask further Qs. By now he’s had a chance to cover tracks, but you should still examine all records - cell phone especially and reverse search #s, check all bank and credit card records, computer history (particularly locations, log ins and search history), email accounts (including draft, trash and spam folders). His cell phone should be open to at all times to you to look at anything you want for as long as you want.

People will say that a relationship/life where you have to play detective like the above isn’t worth it, but it also isn’t worth it to blindly trust someone who has proven your trust was misplaced. Getting the real 411 is the lesser of two evils.

Oh would you just stop it. This thing happened nine years ago when OP surely forgot that she is not just a baby Mommy but a WIFE. As in the kids were nowhere near when OP got married. The whole reason he chose OP is that she promised to be a better option than the ex.

Then OP goes off fussing about her post-partum emotions and fawning over the baby and ignoring DH who's building a better and better career, and he's supposed to ignore all that? Even though OP sold DH a bill of goods about how they would keep the flame alive and she'd be so hot with bigger nursing boobs and whatnot?

Please. An affair screams that there is something wrong with the foundational relationship, that a partner isn't getting what was promised and is seeking it out elsewhere. BOTH parties are EQUALLY responsible.

If OP wants to "fix" things, she better be willing to take a cold look at her own failures. Otherwise, let the past be the past and move on so no one has to feel weird.

Dear god. People like you shouldn’t be in relationships, much less give relationship advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cheaters only admit to what they think they can get away with. If he said that they met every other week for six months, double or triple that. He's probably still in contact with the AP, sexting or even possibly meeting up when they can. You simply will never know. He has successfully hid this from you for SO LONG.

Being married to an exceptional liar is not a flex. You need to divorce this guy.

+1. Not a flex - it’s creepy, predatory behavior. Your DH may be “trickle truthing” you - telling you what he thinks you already know and he can get away with, hoping you will either be satisfied or so horrified that you will not ask further Qs. By now he’s had a chance to cover tracks, but you should still examine all records - cell phone especially and reverse search #s, check all bank and credit card records, computer history (particularly locations, log ins and search history), email accounts (including draft, trash and spam folders). His cell phone should be open to at all times to you to look at anything you want for as long as you want.

People will say that a relationship/life where you have to play detective like the above isn’t worth it, but it also isn’t worth it to blindly trust someone who has proven your trust was misplaced. Getting the real 411 is the lesser of two evils.

Oh would you just stop it. This thing happened nine years ago when OP surely forgot that she is not just a baby Mommy but a WIFE. As in the kids were nowhere near when OP got married. The whole reason he chose OP is that she promised to be a better option than the ex.

Then OP goes off fussing about her post-partum emotions and fawning over the baby and ignoring DH who's building a better and better career, and he's supposed to ignore all that? Even though OP sold DH a bill of goods about how they would keep the flame alive and she'd be so hot with bigger nursing boobs and whatnot?

Please. An affair screams that there is something wrong with the foundational relationship, that a partner isn't getting what was promised and is seeking it out elsewhere. BOTH parties are EQUALLY responsible.

If OP wants to "fix" things, she better be willing to take a cold look at her own failures. Otherwise, let the past be the past and move on so no one has to feel weird.

Dear god. People like you shouldn’t be in relationships, much less give relationship advice.

+1

I suspect that the PP to whom you're referring is a man who cheated, who justifies it by blaming his DW for not being as hot and ready for sex after childbirth as he wanted her to be. He's projecting hard here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cheaters only admit to what they think they can get away with. If he said that they met every other week for six months, double or triple that. He's probably still in contact with the AP, sexting or even possibly meeting up when they can. You simply will never know. He has successfully hid this from you for SO LONG.

Being married to an exceptional liar is not a flex. You need to divorce this guy.

+1. Not a flex - it’s creepy, predatory behavior. Your DH may be “trickle truthing” you - telling you what he thinks you already know and he can get away with, hoping you will either be satisfied or so horrified that you will not ask further Qs. By now he’s had a chance to cover tracks, but you should still examine all records - cell phone especially and reverse search #s, check all bank and credit card records, computer history (particularly locations, log ins and search history), email accounts (including draft, trash and spam folders). His cell phone should be open to at all times to you to look at anything you want for as long as you want.

People will say that a relationship/life where you have to play detective like the above isn’t worth it, but it also isn’t worth it to blindly trust someone who has proven your trust was misplaced. Getting the real 411 is the lesser of two evils.

Oh would you just stop it. This thing happened nine years ago when OP surely forgot that she is not just a baby Mommy but a WIFE. As in the kids were nowhere near when OP got married. The whole reason he chose OP is that she promised to be a better option than the ex.

Then OP goes off fussing about her post-partum emotions and fawning over the baby and ignoring DH who's building a better and better career, and he's supposed to ignore all that? Even though OP sold DH a bill of goods about how they would keep the flame alive and she'd be so hot with bigger nursing boobs and whatnot?

Please. An affair screams that there is something wrong with the foundational relationship, that a partner isn't getting what was promised and is seeking it out elsewhere. BOTH parties are EQUALLY responsible.

If OP wants to "fix" things, she better be willing to take a cold look at her own failures. Otherwise, let the past be the past and move on so no one has to feel weird.

Dear god. People like you shouldn’t be in relationships, much less give relationship advice.

Just ignore them.

They obviously cheat and try their best to blame it on the other person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cheaters only admit to what they think they can get away with. If he said that they met every other week for six months, double or triple that. He's probably still in contact with the AP, sexting or even possibly meeting up when they can. You simply will never know. He has successfully hid this from you for SO LONG.

Being married to an exceptional liar is not a flex. You need to divorce this guy.

+1. Not a flex - it’s creepy, predatory behavior. Your DH may be “trickle truthing” you - telling you what he thinks you already know and he can get away with, hoping you will either be satisfied or so horrified that you will not ask further Qs. By now he’s had a chance to cover tracks, but you should still examine all records - cell phone especially and reverse search #s, check all bank and credit card records, computer history (particularly locations, log ins and search history), email accounts (including draft, trash and spam folders). His cell phone should be open to at all times to you to look at anything you want for as long as you want.

People will say that a relationship/life where you have to play detective like the above isn’t worth it, but it also isn’t worth it to blindly trust someone who has proven your trust was misplaced. Getting the real 411 is the lesser of two evils.

Oh would you just stop it. This thing happened nine years ago when OP surely forgot that she is not just a baby Mommy but a WIFE. As in the kids were nowhere near when OP got married. The whole reason he chose OP is that she promised to be a better option than the ex.

Then OP goes off fussing about her post-partum emotions and fawning over the baby and ignoring DH who's building a better and better career, and he's supposed to ignore all that? Even though OP sold DH a bill of goods about how they would keep the flame alive and she'd be so hot with bigger nursing boobs and whatnot?

Please. An affair screams that there is something wrong with the foundational relationship, that a partner isn't getting what was promised and is seeking it out elsewhere. BOTH parties are EQUALLY responsible.

If OP wants to "fix" things, she better be willing to take a cold look at her own failures. Otherwise, let the past be the past and move on so no one has to feel weird.

Dear god. People like you shouldn’t be in relationships, much less give relationship advice.

+1

I suspect that the PP to whom you're referring is a man who cheated, who justifies it by blaming his DW for not being as hot and ready for sex after childbirth as he wanted her to be. He's projecting hard here.

agree.. that post screams this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cheaters only admit to what they think they can get away with. If he said that they met every other week for six months, double or triple that. He's probably still in contact with the AP, sexting or even possibly meeting up when they can. You simply will never know. He has successfully hid this from you for SO LONG.

Being married to an exceptional liar is not a flex. You need to divorce this guy.

+1. Not a flex - it’s creepy, predatory behavior. Your DH may be “trickle truthing” you - telling you what he thinks you already know and he can get away with, hoping you will either be satisfied or so horrified that you will not ask further Qs. By now he’s had a chance to cover tracks, but you should still examine all records - cell phone especially and reverse search #s, check all bank and credit card records, computer history (particularly locations, log ins and search history), email accounts (including draft, trash and spam folders). His cell phone should be open to at all times to you to look at anything you want for as long as you want.

People will say that a relationship/life where you have to play detective like the above isn’t worth it, but it also isn’t worth it to blindly trust someone who has proven your trust was misplaced. Getting the real 411 is the lesser of two evils.

Oh would you just stop it. This thing happened nine years ago when OP surely forgot that she is not just a baby Mommy but a WIFE. As in the kids were nowhere near when OP got married. The whole reason he chose OP is that she promised to be a better option than the ex.

Then OP goes off fussing about her post-partum emotions and fawning over the baby and ignoring DH who's building a better and better career, and he's supposed to ignore all that? Even though OP sold DH a bill of goods about how they would keep the flame alive and she'd be so hot with bigger nursing boobs and whatnot?

Please. An affair screams that there is something wrong with the foundational relationship, that a partner isn't getting what was promised and is seeking it out elsewhere. BOTH parties are EQUALLY responsible.

If OP wants to "fix" things, she better be willing to take a cold look at her own failures. Otherwise, let the past be the past and move on so no one has to feel weird.

Not in this case he cheated he only told her bec he got caught


And no why in the world would she stay with a lying sack of crap. He went to another country that takes planning. He’s still cheating don’t believe that I can sell you the Brooklyn bridge there is nothing to save ,


I’m sorry OP I know your world is shattered but get your ducks in a row and take him for all he’s worth. He is a cheater and will always be one

[Anonymous]

Are you still there, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tulum wasn't even trendy until about 5-6 years ago for rich west coast people, and 2-3 years ago for DC area dorks. Def happened WAY more recently!

Tulum has been popular since the early 2000s. https://magazine.tablethotels.com/en/2020/01/unhidden-gem/

This article is from 2012. http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=980DE4D81239F931A15752C0A9649D8B63&pagewanted=all

I live in Old Town and my DH and I went to Tulum in 2000. Stayed at Ana Y Joses oceanfront for $30 a night!

Tulum has been a thing for decades. Sorry you didn't know about it.

You do know that 23 years is "decades", right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cheaters only admit to what they think they can get away with. If he said that they met every other week for six months, double or triple that. He's probably still in contact with the AP, sexting or even possibly meeting up when they can. You simply will never know. He has successfully hid this from you for SO LONG.

Being married to an exceptional liar is not a flex. You need to divorce this guy.

+1. Not a flex - it’s creepy, predatory behavior. Your DH may be “trickle truthing” you - telling you what he thinks you already know and he can get away with, hoping you will either be satisfied or so horrified that you will not ask further Qs. By now he’s had a chance to cover tracks, but you should still examine all records - cell phone especially and reverse search #s, check all bank and credit card records, computer history (particularly locations, log ins and search history), email accounts (including draft, trash and spam folders). His cell phone should be open to at all times to you to look at anything you want for as long as you want.

People will say that a relationship/life where you have to play detective like the above isn’t worth it, but it also isn’t worth it to blindly trust someone who has proven your trust was misplaced. Getting the real 411 is the lesser of two evils.

Oh would you just stop it. This thing happened nine years ago when OP surely forgot that she is not just a baby Mommy but a WIFE. As in the kids were nowhere near when OP got married. The whole reason he chose OP is that she promised to be a better option than the ex.

Then OP goes off fussing about her post-partum emotions and fawning over the baby and ignoring DH who's building a better and better career, and he's supposed to ignore all that? Even though OP sold DH a bill of goods about how they would keep the flame alive and she'd be so hot with bigger nursing boobs and whatnot?

Please. An affair screams that there is something wrong with the foundational relationship, that a partner isn't getting what was promised and is seeking it out elsewhere. BOTH parties are EQUALLY responsible.

If OP wants to "fix" things, she better be willing to take a cold look at her own failures. Otherwise, let the past be the past and move on so no one has to feel weird.

I'm sorry. The OP sold bill of goods???
And what did the husband do to repair whatever was not working back then, in your opinion? Pack up and go on vacation with another chick??
What an idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cheaters only admit to what they think they can get away with. If he said that they met every other week for six months, double or triple that. He's probably still in contact with the AP, sexting or even possibly meeting up when they can. You simply will never know. He has successfully hid this from you for SO LONG.

Being married to an exceptional liar is not a flex. You need to divorce this guy.

+1. Not a flex - it’s creepy, predatory behavior. Your DH may be “trickle truthing” you - telling you what he thinks you already know and he can get away with, hoping you will either be satisfied or so horrified that you will not ask further Qs. By now he’s had a chance to cover tracks, but you should still examine all records - cell phone especially and reverse search #s, check all bank and credit card records, computer history (particularly locations, log ins and search history), email accounts (including draft, trash and spam folders). His cell phone should be open to at all times to you to look at anything you want for as long as you want.

People will say that a relationship/life where you have to play detective like the above isn’t worth it, but it also isn’t worth it to blindly trust someone who has proven your trust was misplaced. Getting the real 411 is the lesser of two evils.

Oh would you just stop it. This thing happened nine years ago when OP surely forgot that she is not just a baby Mommy but a WIFE. As in the kids were nowhere near when OP got married. The whole reason he chose OP is that she promised to be a better option than the ex.

Then OP goes off fussing about her post-partum emotions and fawning over the baby and ignoring DH who's building a better and better career, and he's supposed to ignore all that? Even though OP sold DH a bill of goods about how they would keep the flame alive and she'd be so hot with bigger nursing boobs and whatnot?

Please. An affair screams that there is something wrong with the foundational relationship, that a partner isn't getting what was promised and is seeking it out elsewhere. BOTH parties are EQUALLY responsible.

If OP wants to "fix" things, she better be willing to take a cold look at her own failures. Otherwise, let the past be the past and move on so no one has to feel weird.

Dear god. People like you shouldn’t be in relationships, much less give relationship advice.

Yes that whole post was disturbing. I hope he isn't in a relationship he is pretending to be committed to.

Op.. I have no advice. I'm sorry this has gone on. The trip to Mexico takes it yo a whole new level of betrayal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tulum wasn't even trendy until about 5-6 years ago for rich west coast people, and 2-3 years ago for DC area dorks. Def happened WAY more recently!

Tulum has been popular since the early 2000s. https://magazine.tablethotels.com/en/2020/01/unhidden-gem/

This article is from 2012. http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=980DE4D81239F931A15752C0A9649D8B63&pagewanted=all

I live in Old Town and my DH and I went to Tulum in 2000. Stayed at Ana Y Joses oceanfront for $30 a night!

Tulum has been a thing for decades. Sorry you didn't know about it.

You do know that 23 years is "decades", right?

They can’t read so no, they didn’t know that 😂😂

[Anonymous]

I don't see much point in scouring credit card receipts, texts, emails, etc from the last decade. That's a black hole and even if OP finds *some* things, she will never find EVERYTHING. She will never get the full truth from her lying, cheating, creepy husband -- ever.

Don't even waste your precious time trying to dig -- just divorce him and never look back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cheaters only admit to what they think they can get away with. If he said that they met every other week for six months, double or triple that. He's probably still in contact with the AP, sexting or even possibly meeting up when they can. You simply will never know. He has successfully hid this from you for SO LONG.

Being married to an exceptional liar is not a flex. You need to divorce this guy.

+1. Not a flex - it’s creepy, predatory behavior. Your DH may be “trickle truthing” you - telling you what he thinks you already know and he can get away with, hoping you will either be satisfied or so horrified that you will not ask further Qs. By now he’s had a chance to cover tracks, but you should still examine all records - cell phone especially and reverse search #s, check all bank and credit card records, computer history (particularly locations, log ins and search history), email accounts (including draft, trash and spam folders). His cell phone should be open to at all times to you to look at anything you want for as long as you want.

People will say that a relationship/life where you have to play detective like the above isn’t worth it, but it also isn’t worth it to blindly trust someone who has proven your trust was misplaced. Getting the real 411 is the lesser of two evils.

Oh would you just stop it. This thing happened nine years ago when OP surely forgot that she is not just a baby Mommy but a WIFE. As in the kids were nowhere near when OP got married. The whole reason he chose OP is that she promised to be a better option than the ex.

Then OP goes off fussing about her post-partum emotions and fawning over the baby and ignoring DH who's building a better and better career, and he's supposed to ignore all that? Even though OP sold DH a bill of goods about how they would keep the flame alive and she'd be so hot with bigger nursing boobs and whatnot?

Please. An affair screams that there is something wrong with the foundational relationship, that a partner isn't getting what was promised and is seeking it out elsewhere. BOTH parties are EQUALLY responsible.

If OP wants to "fix" things, she better be willing to take a cold look at her own failures. Otherwise, let the past be the past and move on so no one has to feel weird.

Dear god. People like you shouldn’t be in relationships, much less give relationship advice.

+1

I suspect that the PP to whom you're referring is a man who cheated, who justifies it by blaming his DW for not being as hot and ready for sex after childbirth as he wanted her to be. He's projecting hard here.

+1

Karma is a killer, ranting affair defender PP. death comes for us all…

I do wonder who you expect to wipe your spittle from your foaming mouth as you gasp your last.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't see much point in scouring credit card receipts, texts, emails, etc from the last decade. That's a black hole and even if OP finds *some* things, she will never find EVERYTHING. She will never get the full truth from her lying, cheating, creepy husband -- ever.

Don't even waste your precious time trying to dig -- just divorce him and never look back.

Agreed. Look out for yourself first. Obviously OP’s husband did and it’s safe to assume he still does…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Time to go shopping! And get an f buddy.

Yep, what's good for the goose is damn sure good for the gander!! I'd be getting my lick back!