Reply to Married 14 years- Just Learned of Cheating in Year 5

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Cheaters only admit to what they think they can get away with. If he said that they met every other week for six months, double or triple that. He's probably still in contact with the AP, sexting or even possibly meeting up when they can. You simply will never know. He has successfully hid this from you for SO LONG.

Being married to an exceptional liar is not a flex. You need to divorce this guy. [/quote]

+1.  Not a flex - it’s creepy, predatory behavior.  Your DH may be “trickle truthing” you - telling you what he thinks you already know and he can get away with, hoping you will either be satisfied or so horrified that you will not ask further Qs.  By now he’s had a chance to cover tracks, but you should still examine all records - cell phone especially and reverse search #s, check all bank and credit card records, computer history (particularly locations, log ins and search history), email accounts (including draft, trash and spam folders).  His cell phone should be open to at all times to you to look at anything you want for as long as you want.

People will say that a relationship/life where you have to play detective like the above isn’t worth it, but it also isn’t worth it to blindly trust someone who has proven your trust was misplaced. Getting the real 411 is the lesser of two evils.

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Oh would you just stop it. This thing happened nine years ago when OP surely forgot that she is not just a baby Mommy but a WIFE. As in the kids were nowhere near when OP got married. The whole reason he chose OP is that she promised to be a better option than the ex.

Then OP goes off fussing about her post-partum emotions and fawning over the baby and ignoring DH who's building a better and better career, and he's supposed to ignore all that? Even though OP sold DH a bill of goods about how they would keep the flame alive and she'd be so hot with bigger nursing boobs and whatnot?

Please. An affair screams that there is something wrong with the foundational relationship, that a partner isn't getting what was promised and is seeking it out elsewhere. BOTH parties are EQUALLY responsible.

If OP wants to "fix" things, she better be willing to take a cold look at her own failures. Otherwise, let the past be the past and move on so no one has to feel weird.
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Dear god. People like you shouldn’t be in relationships, much less give relationship advice. [/quote]

Yes that whole post was disturbing.  I hope he isn't in a relationship he is pretending to be committed to.

Op.. I have no advice.  I'm sorry this has gone on.  The trip to Mexico takes it yo a whole new level of betrayal.

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