Casual Racism

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To assume an Asian person speaks or understands an Asian language just based on the way they look is a manifestation of the underlying bias that the person is “other” than American. That is the microaggression. And to have this happen over and over in different contexts sends you the signal that you are “other”- and that seems exhausting. I’m sorry OP.

To have your hackles up and mistrust all white people is it's own form of racism.

I don’t see how this incident translates into “mistrusting all whites people.” I’m the PP and I’m white, by the way. Listen, we all have biases- everyone. Asian people have biases, we all do. And most of us have good intentions. That’s why it’s called unconscious bias. We don’t do it to hurt anyone intentionally. Assuming a non white person speaks a language other than English is an unconscious bias. Yes, it’s a way the brain automatically sorts people into groups. But let’s strive to be more intentional and bring those unconscious biases to the surface so we don’t unintentionally hurt other people. When a hyphenated American - which we all are, except indigenous folks- whose family may have been here for generations, is spoken to in a language they don’t understand but are assumed to understand because they don’t “look American (ie white)- that is hurtful. Let’s just try to be kind to people. It involves digging a little deeper into ourselves and listening to what other people find hurtful, even if you can’t understand why it’s hurtful.

You are asking for the impossible. What offends one Asian person or Hispanic or black or whatever, is laughed off by another.

I don’t care about my unconscious biases and I don’t care about yours. How about that? Much simpler all around.

Tell me you’re white without telling me you’re white.

Tell me you’re making assumptions without telling me you’re making assumptions.

Am I wrong? Yes or no.

[Anonymous]

The reason people are so upset these days is that any acknowledgement of culture is considered racist. This also works in the other way-- any lack of acknowledgement is considered erasure and therefore racist. So it's impossible to live on a multicultural community without perceiving things as racist and being perceived as racist.

Who knows about the person who said xiexie. The OP gave no context clues so for all we know, it was a Chinese immigrant who spoke limited English and saw a similar face and made assumptions. Is that racist or... Normal?

I go to another country to visit family but I don't speak the language that well. Sometimes old people will stop me to ask for help, and I always listen intently to see if I can understand and help. Sometimes after they talk to me, I regrettably have to inform them that I don't speak the language well enough. Sometimes they laugh and act like this is hilarious because I look for all the world like I'm part of their culture. We're all white, so I can't call them racist. Nor would I. Because we are just people trying to relate to each other.

You can either be on guard to look for slights, or you can be open and look for community. I'm not saying that you should be naive about the existence of hate and racism. But if you're constantly looking for it, just casually evaluating everyone as potential racists, you will spend much of your life offended.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The reason people are so upset these days is that any acknowledgement of culture is considered racist. This also works in the other way-- any lack of acknowledgement is considered erasure and therefore racist. So it's impossible to live on a multicultural community without perceiving things as racist and being perceived as racist.

Who knows about the person who said xiexie. The OP gave no context clues so for all we know, it was a Chinese immigrant who spoke limited English and saw a similar face and made assumptions. Is that racist or... Normal?

I go to another country to visit family but I don't speak the language that well. Sometimes old people will stop me to ask for help, and I always listen intently to see if I can understand and help. Sometimes after they talk to me, I regrettably have to inform them that I don't speak the language well enough. Sometimes they laugh and act like this is hilarious because I look for all the world like I'm part of their culture. We're all white, so I can't call them racist. Nor would I. Because we are just people trying to relate to each other.

You can either be on guard to look for slights, or you can be open and look for community. I'm not saying that you should be naive about the existence of hate and racism. But if you're constantly looking for it, just casually evaluating everyone as potential racists, you will spend much of your life offended.

It’s not the acknowledgment—it’s the assumption. If you can’t tell the difference between Asian nationalities, maybe shut your ignorant mouth? Truly, you embarrass yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reason people are so upset these days is that any acknowledgement of culture is considered racist. This also works in the other way-- any lack of acknowledgement is considered erasure and therefore racist. So it's impossible to live on a multicultural community without perceiving things as racist and being perceived as racist.

Who knows about the person who said xiexie. The OP gave no context clues so for all we know, it was a Chinese immigrant who spoke limited English and saw a similar face and made assumptions. Is that racist or... Normal?

I go to another country to visit family but I don't speak the language that well. Sometimes old people will stop me to ask for help, and I always listen intently to see if I can understand and help. Sometimes after they talk to me, I regrettably have to inform them that I don't speak the language well enough. Sometimes they laugh and act like this is hilarious because I look for all the world like I'm part of their culture. We're all white, so I can't call them racist. Nor would I. Because we are just people trying to relate to each other.

You can either be on guard to look for slights, or you can be open and look for community. I'm not saying that you should be naive about the existence of hate and racism. But if you're constantly looking for it, just casually evaluating everyone as potential racists, you will spend much of your life offended.

It’s not the acknowledgment—it’s the assumption. If you can’t tell the difference between Asian nationalities, maybe shut your ignorant mouth? Truly, you embarrass yourself.

Get over yourself & quit bending over backwards to desperately find a victim where there is none.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The "xiexie" is a microaggression arising out of ignorance. The elevator thing has everything to do with the smell and not race.

Definitely not enough to move to Hawaii, unless you are fond of surfing anyway.

What if it was a Latin American boy and the man said gracias? But the boy is Brazilian Latin American and they say obrigado, not gracias. Is this also a microaggression or an honest mistake?

Why are you assuming the kid is anything other than an English speaking American? That's the microagression part: othering someone based on your perception of their race. The impact of microaggressions are the constant reminders that you're not viewed as American enough whether the intent is malicious or benign.

I can't imagine y'all are this dense in the subject so I know the ignorance is intentional.

Because Latinos will start speaking Spanish to other Latinos out in public. And Latinos typically speak Spanish when they are together. There’s no shame having another primary language and most people enjoy sharing their culture from where they come from.

It’s people like you who spin it in a negative way that ruin it. And for all the idiots who tried to make LatinX happen, that was Americans trampling all over the Spanish language. No one who comes from a Spanish speaking country uses the term LatinX

My Latino brother and I only speak English together along with all my cousins. The only relatives we speak Spanish to are the irresponsible ones who didn't bother to learn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reason people are so upset these days is that any acknowledgement of culture is considered racist. This also works in the other way-- any lack of acknowledgement is considered erasure and therefore racist. So it's impossible to live on a multicultural community without perceiving things as racist and being perceived as racist.

Who knows about the person who said xiexie. The OP gave no context clues so for all we know, it was a Chinese immigrant who spoke limited English and saw a similar face and made assumptions. Is that racist or... Normal?

I go to another country to visit family but I don't speak the language that well. Sometimes old people will stop me to ask for help, and I always listen intently to see if I can understand and help. Sometimes after they talk to me, I regrettably have to inform them that I don't speak the language well enough. Sometimes they laugh and act like this is hilarious because I look for all the world like I'm part of their culture. We're all white, so I can't call them racist. Nor would I. Because we are just people trying to relate to each other.

You can either be on guard to look for slights, or you can be open and look for community. I'm not saying that you should be naive about the existence of hate and racism. But if you're constantly looking for it, just casually evaluating everyone as potential racists, you will spend much of your life offended.

It’s not the acknowledgment—it’s the assumption. If you can’t tell the difference between Asian nationalities, maybe shut your ignorant mouth? Truly, you embarrass yourself.

Oh for Pete's sake. I have been asked if I'm a different brand of white than I am. I freak out and tell them that they are racist for not being able to distinguish Slavic and Scandinavian phenotypes. And if I had, they would have rightly called me a nut job.

When southerners say y'all, do you snap back that they are in "you guys" land? Get a grip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The reason people are so upset these days is that any acknowledgement of culture is considered racist. This also works in the other way-- any lack of acknowledgement is considered erasure and therefore racist. So it's impossible to live on a multicultural community without perceiving things as racist and being perceived as racist.

Who knows about the person who said xiexie. The OP gave no context clues so for all we know, it was a Chinese immigrant who spoke limited English and saw a similar face and made assumptions. Is that racist or... Normal?

I go to another country to visit family but I don't speak the language that well. Sometimes old people will stop me to ask for help, and I always listen intently to see if I can understand and help. Sometimes after they talk to me, I regrettably have to inform them that I don't speak the language well enough. Sometimes they laugh and act like this is hilarious because I look for all the world like I'm part of their culture. We're all white, so I can't call them racist. Nor would I. Because we are just people trying to relate to each other.

You can either be on guard to look for slights, or you can be open and look for community. I'm not saying that you should be naive about the existence of hate and racism. But if you're constantly looking for it, just casually evaluating everyone as potential racists, you will spend much of your life offended.

It’s not the acknowledgment—it’s the assumption. If you can’t tell the difference between Asian nationalities, maybe shut your ignorant mouth? Truly, you embarrass yourself.

Oh for Pete's sake. I have been asked if I'm a different brand of white than I am. I freak out and tell them that they are racist for not being able to distinguish Slavic and Scandinavian phenotypes. And if I had, they would have rightly called me a nut job.

When southerners say y'all, do you snap back that they are in "you guys" land? Get a grip.

Didnt* freak out. But maybe next time I should. "Who you saying happy st Patrick's day to? My people plundered your people!" Spice things up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To assume an Asian person speaks or understands an Asian language just based on the way they look is a manifestation of the underlying bias that the person is “other” than American. That is the microaggression. And to have this happen over and over in different contexts sends you the signal that you are “other”- and that seems exhausting. I’m sorry OP.

To have your hackles up and mistrust all white people is it's own form of racism.

I don’t see how this incident translates into “mistrusting all whites people.” I’m the PP and I’m white, by the way. Listen, we all have biases- everyone. Asian people have biases, we all do. And most of us have good intentions. That’s why it’s called unconscious bias. We don’t do it to hurt anyone intentionally. Assuming a non white person speaks a language other than English is an unconscious bias. Yes, it’s a way the brain automatically sorts people into groups. But let’s strive to be more intentional and bring those unconscious biases to the surface so we don’t unintentionally hurt other people. When a hyphenated American - which we all are, except indigenous folks- whose family may have been here for generations, is spoken to in a language they don’t understand but are assumed to understand because they don’t “look American (ie white)- that is hurtful. Let’s just try to be kind to people. It involves digging a little deeper into ourselves and listening to what other people find hurtful, even if you can’t understand why it’s hurtful.

The person in the OP's example was trying to be kind but ended up with the OP being devastated enough to accuse the man of racism. How are we supposed to be kind when any minor utterance has people curling up in anxiety and complaining about you on social media? Clearly a lot of people in the DC area are assuming white people's brains are just churning racist thoughts 99% of the day, unable to control their urge to blurt out racism at the sight of a POC.

I’m sorry you can’t understand how assuming an American (who is not Chinese by the way) speaks Chinese because they look Asian can make that person feel like an outsider. Try to do better.

An outsider? Oh no! What ever shall we do?!
This is the problem. Not every feeling someone has needs to be validated and the other persons behavior corrected. Everyone is so frickin’ fragile these days.

Being perceived as an outsider is why Japanese Americans were put in internment camps during WW2 but Italian Americans and German Americans were not.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internment_of_German_Americans
(But there were also millions of Americans of German descent so no, the country couldn't "lock them all up" but they did go through hardship during and after WWI)

"This process resulted with thousands of Axis nationals of Japanese, German, and Italian ancestry taken into custody by local officials, many of whom were legal citizens of the Latin American countries participating. While a number of those arrested were legitimate Axis sympathizers, most were not. Latin America-Japanese, German, and Italians and their family members that were deported from their countries to the U.S. were first held locally, before being deported."
https://www.thc.texas.gov/preserve/projects-and-programs/military-history/texas-world-war-ii/japanese-german-and-italian

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP maybe you shouldn't live around white people if their minor mistakes bother you so much. I'm also not sure what to make of your "mind reading" incident with the smell in the elevator. Do you have major anxiety or boredom maybe?

Agree - people move to a country where they were a tiny minority (like just above 1%), even into the 1990s and then when someone notices that they look different from the majority population, they are aghast. Did you or your parents understand what they were doing when they moved to the U.S.?

How about being appreciative that the population of the US has been so welcoming to people from around the world and recognize that people have to learn how to navigate a multi-racial, multi-ethnic society, because there has NEVER in all of world history been a society like ours. Give people a break unless they are being hostile to you.

These same people know how hostile and unwelcome they are to foreigners in their home countries yet expect the red carpet treatment in the US. Mostly they get the red carpet treatment, but sometimes they don't. Why should anyone else get worked up about this?

This shows a total lack of understanding of the history of immigration in this country. Some “tiny minority” immigrants who are not white have lived in the US far longer than the wave of Europeans who came over in the early 1900’s… and yet because they are not white they’re assumed to be not American.

A VERY tiny minority came to the west during the mid-19th century and that doesn't negate the fact that the vast majority of Asians arrived during the last 30 years (or were born to those immigrants.)

[Anonymous]

All I am getting from this thread is a bunch of butthurt white people who want to keep being ignorant and using one-off stories as justification.

Listen my Asian friends, a lot of white people are supposedly on your side when it comes to college admissions because they benefit from that fight.

But don't be fooled. When it comes down to it, you're just "playing victim" because you don't like people assuming all Asians are the same or that you're new to the country.

In other words, it's racism when it affects them, and being "too sensitive" when it doesn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP maybe you shouldn't live around white people if their minor mistakes bother you so much. I'm also not sure what to make of your "mind reading" incident with the smell in the elevator. Do you have major anxiety or boredom maybe?

Agree - people move to a country where they were a tiny minority (like just above 1%), even into the 1990s and then when someone notices that they look different from the majority population, they are aghast. Did you or your parents understand what they were doing when they moved to the U.S.?

How about being appreciative that the population of the US has been so welcoming to people from around the world and recognize that people have to learn how to navigate a multi-racial, multi-ethnic society, because there has NEVER in all of world history been a society like ours. Give people a break unless they are being hostile to you.

These same people know how hostile and unwelcome they are to foreigners in their home countries yet expect the red carpet treatment in the US. Mostly they get the red carpet treatment, but sometimes they don't. Why should anyone else get worked up about this?

This shows a total lack of understanding of the history of immigration in this country. Some “tiny minority” immigrants who are not white have lived in the US far longer than the wave of Europeans who came over in the early 1900’s… and yet because they are not white they’re assumed to be not American.

A VERY tiny minority came to the west during the mid-19th century and that doesn't negate the fact that the vast majority of Asians arrived during the last 30 years (or were born to those immigrants.)

Wow, you are a serious kind of dumb. Moist ASian immigration has happened since 1993? I can't even...https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asian_immigration_to_the_United_States#:~:text=The%20first%20major%20wave%20of,from%20naturalization%20until%20the%201940s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All I am getting from this thread is a bunch of butthurt white people who want to keep being ignorant and using one-off stories as justification.

Listen my Asian friends, a lot of white people are supposedly on your side when it comes to college admissions because they benefit from that fight.

But don't be fooled. When it comes down to it, you're just "playing victim" because you don't like people assuming all Asians are the same or that you're new to the country.

In other words, it's racism when it affects them, and being "too sensitive" when it doesn't.

Excuse me. The only butt that's hurt is OP who had some mild discomfort in a stinky elevator. And her son was thanked in a different language. Spare us all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound racist. The Chinese person may not have spoken English.

+1

OP, the way you generalize about white people I have to assume your post is about your own casual racism toward that group.

[Anonymous]

Unconscious Bias

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The reason people are so upset these days is that any acknowledgement of culture is considered racist. This also works in the other way-- any lack of acknowledgement is considered erasure and therefore racist. So it's impossible to live on a multicultural community without perceiving things as racist and being perceived as racist.

Who knows about the person who said xiexie. The OP gave no context clues so for all we know, it was a Chinese immigrant who spoke limited English and saw a similar face and made assumptions. Is that racist or... Normal?

I go to another country to visit family but I don't speak the language that well. Sometimes old people will stop me to ask for help, and I always listen intently to see if I can understand and help. Sometimes after they talk to me, I regrettably have to inform them that I don't speak the language well enough. Sometimes they laugh and act like this is hilarious because I look for all the world like I'm part of their culture. We're all white, so I can't call them racist. Nor would I. Because we are just people trying to relate to each other.

You can either be on guard to look for slights, or you can be open and look for community. I'm not saying that you should be naive about the existence of hate and racism. But if you're constantly looking for it, just casually evaluating everyone as potential racists, you will spend much of your life offended.

+1

This, across the board.