He doesn’t want to see me after I disclosed health results

[Anonymous]

Good on him for being responsible with his health. Once he gets it, he could spread it to other women after he breaks up with you, which could cause them to get cancer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Anyway, it’s fine he wants to talk to his doctor. Personally I think he should still see you while he is contemplating this and figuring it out, but just not have sex with you while he’s figuring it out. He should not just be ignoring you and not seeing you at all and expecting you will go back to him once he’s decided he is willing to risk having sex with you.

Yeah this last part is not right. Very presumptuous on his part

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a CNM and just chiming in with some HPV 101 as there is a lot of correct info in here but also a fair bit of incorrect info
Nearly all sexually active adults will be exposed to HPV at some point
There is no routine HPV test for men unless they are a candidate for anal paps
Screening for women happens with the pap, though it is ordered as a separate test. Your provider can order pap only, HPV only, co-testing ( both), or pap that reflexes to HPV if abnormal. Which test they order depends on age, history, and how up to date they are on the ever changing body of evidence about screening guidelines
There are strains considered highest risk for dysplasia ( pre cancerous changes) primarily 16/18, “ other high risk” strains, strains that cause warts, and strains that seem do have no impact
We don’t know if our bodies clear HPV or it goes dormant
There is no blood test for cervical HPV
There is evidence of increased HPV for peri menopausal women, we don’t know if this is related to behaviours ( e.g. divorce/ new partners) or reactivation of dormant strains or both
HPV (at least from the lab we use) are reported as negative, positive other high risk, or positive 16 or 18. Your doctor isn’t ordering testing for “low risk” HPV, but some of the positive results are considered lower risk than others
Hope that is useful info

As far as I know, there’s no test, routine or otherwise, available to men except anal pap, which as you indicate makes sense for only a subset of sexually actively men. There seems to be a misunderstanding that men aren’t routinely tested but can request a test. There isn’t one available that has been validated, to my knowledge.

I think there ARE tests for male HPV, and not just anal, because there are studies that use HPV tests on men. They just aren't commercially available at doctors' offices.

Those tests, if they’re available, are not the standard of care for one reason or another. The bar to be the standard of care for a diagnostic test, especially when it involves cancer, is absurdly low. It just has to be shown to actually work. There’s no risk/benefit analysis, no complicated ethical review. If it’s not the standard of care it’s because the test doesn’t do what it says it’s going to do enough to be statistically significant. There are many tests that aren’t the SoC for other reasons for a diagnostic test for something known to cause cancer will have no other barrier than that it simply doesn’t work. That doesn’t mean someone can’t market it that way, because diagnostic tests don’t necessarily need to have claims evaluated by the fda.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is very eye opening. I gotta say all you ladies thinking it's ok to keep spreading what you say is a "mild" and "common" STI. I can't get over the responses here.

Astounding.

This poor dude doesn't want warts on this _ick and you all are attacking him. Priceless.

Stay golden ladies.

No one said spreading anything was ok. The thread was about OP disclosing test results and her guy dropping her like a hot potato when he is possibly the reason she has it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good on him for being responsible with his health. Once he gets it, he could spread it to other women after he breaks up with you, which could cause them to get cancer.

For real? Hasn’t this myth been busted about 100 times already? How are you still saying this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is very eye opening. I gotta say all you ladies thinking it's ok to keep spreading what you say is a "mild" and "common" STI. I can't get over the responses here.

Astounding.

This poor dude doesn't want warts on this _ick and you all are attacking him. Priceless.

Stay golden ladies.

Your ignorance is astounding and is a sign of how broken our sex Ed system is and our education around the scientific process and overall medical aptitude is.

Signed,
Male

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is very eye opening. I gotta say all you ladies thinking it's ok to keep spreading what you say is a "mild" and "common" STI. I can't get over the responses here.

Astounding.

This poor dude doesn't want warts on this _ick and you all are attacking him. Priceless.

Stay golden ladies.

The “poor dude” took his own risks having sex and now is blaming and shaming OP when he could have infected her. If he was so worried about warts in “this _ick” he shouldn’t have engaged in any sex ever. How’s that PP? 🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good on him for being responsible with his health. Once he gets it, he could spread it to other women after he breaks up with you, which could cause them to get cancer.

Once he gets it? Gets what? OP has a low risk strain of HPV so the guy is assumed to as well since they were intimate. If the guy has a cancer causing strain it wasn’t from OP.

[Anonymous]

Look, considering there’s no way for men to know if they have most types of HPV, cancerous or not, unless warts show up. I think women seriously have no obligation to disclose an HPV + test for non cancerous strains.

Which was exactly what OP’s HCP told her.

I hope everyone has learned something from this thread. Healthcare is private for a reason.

Some strains cause warts in some people, some cause warts years later. Some don’t cause warts at all. And if all 150 strains could be tested for, it’s likely everyone has it. Except some of the virgins posting in this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look, considering there’s no way for men to know if they have most types of HPV, cancerous or not, unless warts show up. I think women seriously have no obligation to disclose an HPV + test for non cancerous strains.

Which was exactly what OP’s HCP told her.

I hope everyone has learned something from this thread. Healthcare is private for a reason.

Some strains cause warts in some people, some cause warts years later. Some don’t cause warts at all. And if all 150 strains could be tested for, it’s likely everyone has it. Except some of the virgins posting in this thread.

So you think OP shouldn’t have disclosed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look, considering there’s no way for men to know if they have most types of HPV, cancerous or not, unless warts show up. I think women seriously have no obligation to disclose an HPV + test for non cancerous strains.

Which was exactly what OP’s HCP told her.

I hope everyone has learned something from this thread. Healthcare is private for a reason.

Some strains cause warts in some people, some cause warts years later. Some don’t cause warts at all. And if all 150 strains could be tested for, it’s likely everyone has it. Except some of the virgins posting in this thread.

So you think OP shouldn’t have disclosed?

Correct, because disclosure changes nothing. Her partner could have it, may not have it, it may or may not cause warts, he may have another strain that may or may not cause warts that she doesn’t have. If he gets warts it could be a dormant strain that he got when he was in college, he may or may not pass it on. They emphasize testing for cancerous strains because those need to be controlled. BUT, here’s the thing, even if it was a cancerous strain, the dude wasn’t going to get warts and would have no way of knowing. So is he supposed to never have sex again? People need to get vaxxed and that’s all you can reasonably do to protect yourself. Without any valid testing for men, there’s nothing to do. The reason the public health establishment has given non cancerous strains only minimal attention is because identifying and controlling them are of minimal societal value.

All of these hysterical reactions, including by the OP’s partner, are like wearing a mask outside in a field to keep yourself from getting COVID. Except, of course, the health consequences and risks of COVID are infinitely greater than non-cancerous strains of HPV.

Do you have the same reaction to warts on the rest of the body? What about fungal infections? If you have athletes foot do you disclose that?

It’s all irrational.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is not a keeper. It’s kind of good you found out now, though. My spouse and I have been through miscarriages, infertility, surprise pregnancies, cancer health scares, mental health struggles, kid surgeries. That’s all a part of life. Find someone with more grit.

++1

[Anonymous]

If he’s 45 or younger he can get the hpv vaccine

[Anonymous]

OP here—he is older

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here—he is older

He’s a putz. Dump him.