He doesn’t want to see me after I disclosed health results

[Anonymous]

My doctor said nuns have even tested for HPV. It is so common!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My doctor said nuns have even tested for HPV. It is so common!

I heard this too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's a player

Based on what?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here—I also wonder if he’s using this stuff about checking with a doctor as a way of letting me down easy? Like, instead of directly saying he’s done with me he said this and will just fade away?

But then I’m confused about why he would also say he really enjoys being with me, he understands this is a common thing, he hopes I understand and he wants to keep our relationship together.

His comments actually sound internally consistent. What would a person who genuinely liked you but thought he really didn’t know enough about HPV do?

Agree. He’s saying he likes you with or without the sex what more can you ask for?

He doesn’t want to see her, how is that still liking her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My doctor said nuns have even tested for HPV. It is so common!

I heard this too!

And you take this as evidence that abstinent people can get HPV or that nuns aren’t abstinent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My doctor said nuns have even tested for HPV. It is so common!

I heard this too!

And you take this as evidence that abstinent people can get HPV or that nuns aren’t abstinent?

That HPV can spread in other ways.

[Anonymous]

I’m a CNM and just chiming in with some HPV 101 as there is a lot of correct info in here but also a fair bit of incorrect info
Nearly all sexually active adults will be exposed to HPV at some point
There is no routine HPV test for men unless they are a candidate for anal paps
Screening for women happens with the pap, though it is ordered as a separate test. Your provider can order pap only, HPV only, co-testing ( both), or pap that reflexes to HPV if abnormal. Which test they order depends on age, history, and how up to date they are on the ever changing body of evidence about screening guidelines
There are strains considered highest risk for dysplasia ( pre cancerous changes) primarily 16/18, “ other high risk” strains, strains that cause warts, and strains that seem do have no impact
We don’t know if our bodies clear HPV or it goes dormant
There is no blood test for cervical HPV
There is evidence of increased HPV for peri menopausal women, we don’t know if this is related to behaviours ( e.g. divorce/ new partners) or reactivation of dormant strains or both
HPV (at least from the lab we use) are reported as negative, positive other high risk, or positive 16 or 18. Your doctor isn’t ordering testing for “low risk” HPV, but some of the positive results are considered lower risk than others
Hope that is useful info

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a CNM and just chiming in with some HPV 101 as there is a lot of correct info in here but also a fair bit of incorrect info
Nearly all sexually active adults will be exposed to HPV at some point
There is no routine HPV test for men unless they are a candidate for anal paps
Screening for women happens with the pap, though it is ordered as a separate test. Your provider can order pap only, HPV only, co-testing ( both), or pap that reflexes to HPV if abnormal. Which test they order depends on age, history, and how up to date they are on the ever changing body of evidence about screening guidelines
There are strains considered highest risk for dysplasia ( pre cancerous changes) primarily 16/18, “ other high risk” strains, strains that cause warts, and strains that seem do have no impact
We don’t know if our bodies clear HPV or it goes dormant
There is no blood test for cervical HPV
There is evidence of increased HPV for peri menopausal women, we don’t know if this is related to behaviours ( e.g. divorce/ new partners) or reactivation of dormant strains or both
HPV (at least from the lab we use) are reported as negative, positive other high risk, or positive 16 or 18. Your doctor isn’t ordering testing for “low risk” HPV, but some of the positive results are considered lower risk than others
Hope that is useful info

As far as I know, there’s no test, routine or otherwise, available to men except anal pap, which as you indicate makes sense for only a subset of sexually actively men. There seems to be a misunderstanding that men aren’t routinely tested but can request a test. There isn’t one available that has been validated, to my knowledge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel you, OP. Every time I disclose my STD to my partners, they always get weird.

What ended up happening with your partners? Did you stay together?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's totally OK to be uninformed and seek medical advice. It's not OK to be a dink about it like OP is a leper.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a CNM and just chiming in with some HPV 101 as there is a lot of correct info in here but also a fair bit of incorrect info
Nearly all sexually active adults will be exposed to HPV at some point
There is no routine HPV test for men unless they are a candidate for anal paps
Screening for women happens with the pap, though it is ordered as a separate test. Your provider can order pap only, HPV only, co-testing ( both), or pap that reflexes to HPV if abnormal. Which test they order depends on age, history, and how up to date they are on the ever changing body of evidence about screening guidelines
There are strains considered highest risk for dysplasia ( pre cancerous changes) primarily 16/18, “ other high risk” strains, strains that cause warts, and strains that seem do have no impact
We don’t know if our bodies clear HPV or it goes dormant
There is no blood test for cervical HPV
There is evidence of increased HPV for peri menopausal women, we don’t know if this is related to behaviours ( e.g. divorce/ new partners) or reactivation of dormant strains or both
HPV (at least from the lab we use) are reported as negative, positive other high risk, or positive 16 or 18. Your doctor isn’t ordering testing for “low risk” HPV, but some of the positive results are considered lower risk than others
Hope that is useful info

As far as I know, there’s no test, routine or otherwise, available to men except anal pap, which as you indicate makes sense for only a subset of sexually actively men. There seems to be a misunderstanding that men aren’t routinely tested but can request a test. There isn’t one available that has been validated, to my knowledge.

I’m the pp and yes you are correct - and your language was more clear than mine! If a man asks for HPV testing he will be told there is no test available. Only current exception is if he is high risk for anal cancer and gets anal pap. Of course like all things HPV related this could change but that is current practice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a CNM and just chiming in with some HPV 101 as there is a lot of correct info in here but also a fair bit of incorrect info
Nearly all sexually active adults will be exposed to HPV at some point
There is no routine HPV test for men unless they are a candidate for anal paps
Screening for women happens with the pap, though it is ordered as a separate test. Your provider can order pap only, HPV only, co-testing ( both), or pap that reflexes to HPV if abnormal. Which test they order depends on age, history, and how up to date they are on the ever changing body of evidence about screening guidelines
There are strains considered highest risk for dysplasia ( pre cancerous changes) primarily 16/18, “ other high risk” strains, strains that cause warts, and strains that seem do have no impact
We don’t know if our bodies clear HPV or it goes dormant
There is no blood test for cervical HPV
There is evidence of increased HPV for peri menopausal women, we don’t know if this is related to behaviours ( e.g. divorce/ new partners) or reactivation of dormant strains or both
HPV (at least from the lab we use) are reported as negative, positive other high risk, or positive 16 or 18. Your doctor isn’t ordering testing for “low risk” HPV, but some of the positive results are considered lower risk than others
Hope that is useful info

As far as I know, there’s no test, routine or otherwise, available to men except anal pap, which as you indicate makes sense for only a subset of sexually actively men. There seems to be a misunderstanding that men aren’t routinely tested but can request a test. There isn’t one available that has been validated, to my knowledge.

I think there ARE tests for male HPV, and not just anal, because there are studies that use HPV tests on men. They just aren't commercially available at doctors' offices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s why sane people want sti results before having sex. And it’s to weed out the disease-ridden.

I kinda agree. If you know your partner has been sexually active with multiple partners, I'd want an STD result before I sleep with him. I did this with DH before we had sex for the first time.

It was a thing not that long ago for people to get AIDS testing before they had sex with a new partner.

A friend of my has an STD. She got it from a guy who had been sleeping around. She disclosed this to her then BF before they started having sex. They are now married with two kids.

The incidence of STD is pretty high, and a lot of people probably don't even know they have it.

Aside from that other poster’s rudeness and shaming, there is no test for male HPV so what are women supposed to do? Condoms aren’t 100% against HPV.

I understand. My point is that because you don't know, you should at least test for what you can.

Condoms aren't foolproof for STDs or pregnancy, and adults should know this, which is why it's even more important to get tested for STDs regularly unless you are in a serious monogamous relationship, and you know neither of you have STDs that you know of.

TESTING FOR MEN IS NOT STANDARD OF CARE.

Indeed. So, they should ask for it.

That's not what "standard of care" means.

YES IT IS, AMONG OTHER THINGS.

+1 you can ask for STD tests. You can go to the dr specifically for the STD test. Most people don't even get annual checkups, especially men. But, you should get an STD test every so often if you are sexually active and not in a monogamous ltr.

Seriously. Does this need to be repeated? Men don’t get tested for HPV. It is not the standard of care because there is not a test shown to be effective. Perhaps there are tests marketed and sold because diagnostic tests don’t actually need to be shown to be effective, or off label indications for tests otherwise legally on the market, but they are not the standard of care because they aren’t reliable. So, from a scientific perspective getting a test is no more useful for men than not getting a test.

I think I need to repeat myself here, as well.

People should be getting STD screening regularly. ... STD encompasses more than just HPV.

I know OP is specifically referring to HPV, but I'm just putting it out there that people should be getting screened for all STDs regularly if they are sexually active.

[Anonymous]

This thread is very eye opening. I gotta say all you ladies thinking it's ok to keep spreading what you say is a "mild" and "common" STI. I can't get over the responses here.

Astounding.

This poor dude doesn't want warts on this _ick and you all are attacking him. Priceless.

Stay golden ladies.

[Anonymous]

If he’s already been inside of you, you have already infected him or vice versa.