Siblings kids not invited to wedding

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’ll still be nursing the littlest so my preference is to bring the kids with ILs to watch them or pay for a trusted friend to come on the trip with us as a nanny. I’m not in the wedding. I have a small family so really only have family weddings every 10 years, so I don’t want my spouse to miss. Maybe I should be more specific and ask my sibling if we can baby wear the child under 1 since they won’t need a seat/plate and won’t be running around? The ceremony will be 30 mins and the breakfast reception will be 3 hours max since it’s non-traditional. Just not sure if I’m being unreasonable to ask.

I don’t think it is reasonable to ask if you can wear the baby. You can be apart from the baby for 3 1/2 hours.

That leave our travel time from accommodations to venue and back. That would have been too long of a window for me when nursing (3.5 hours would have been pushing it).

She isn’t in the wedding. She wants her spouse to go too. She asked if we think it’s reasonable for her to ask to wear the baby, and my answer is that it isn’t. The wedding is not about the OP but wearing a baby to a child-free wedding will certainly make it so.

But you said she can be apart from the baby for 3.5 hours. Not necessarily true.

Maybe the OP did share how old her youngest will be? All I saw was “I’ll still be nursing the littlest” and a reference to toddler ages. Are we talking a 3 MO? 9 MO? A toddler?

Sorry, OP, I see you said “child under 1.” Still unclear how old you mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’ll still be nursing the littlest so my preference is to bring the kids with ILs to watch them or pay for a trusted friend to come on the trip with us as a nanny. I’m not in the wedding. I have a small family so really only have family weddings every 10 years, so I don’t want my spouse to miss. Maybe I should be more specific and ask my sibling if we can baby wear the child under 1 since they won’t need a seat/plate and won’t be running around? The ceremony will be 30 mins and the breakfast reception will be 3 hours max since it’s non-traditional. Just not sure if I’m being unreasonable to ask.

I don’t think it is reasonable to ask if you can wear the baby. You can be apart from the baby for 3 1/2 hours.

That leave our travel time from accommodations to venue and back. That would have been too long of a window for me when nursing (3.5 hours would have been pushing it).

She isn’t in the wedding. She wants her spouse to go too. She asked if we think it’s reasonable for her to ask to wear the baby, and my answer is that it isn’t. The wedding is not about the OP but wearing a baby to a child-free wedding will certainly make it so.

But you said she can be apart from the baby for 3.5 hours. Not necessarily true.

Okay. When I was nursing an infant I worked, and of course I was away from my infant for 3.5 hours. I pumped milk. Every mother I know was able to be away from an infant for at least 3.5 hours.

OP, you say you’ll still be nursing. How old will the baby be? Will the baby be taking bottles and some solids?

I personally had no success with pumping and had to wean to go back to work.

So you would have been able to leave your child with your spouse and go to the wedding.

No, why would you think that?!

[Anonymous]

No one is commenting on the destination wedding having a breakfast reception?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’ll still be nursing the littlest so my preference is to bring the kids with ILs to watch them or pay for a trusted friend to come on the trip with us as a nanny. I’m not in the wedding. I have a small family so really only have family weddings every 10 years, so I don’t want my spouse to miss. Maybe I should be more specific and ask my sibling if we can baby wear the child under 1 since they won’t need a seat/plate and won’t be running around? The ceremony will be 30 mins and the breakfast reception will be 3 hours max since it’s non-traditional. Just not sure if I’m being unreasonable to ask.

I don’t think it is reasonable to ask if you can wear the baby. You can be apart from the baby for 3 1/2 hours.

That leave our travel time from accommodations to venue and back. That would have been too long of a window for me when nursing (3.5 hours would have been pushing it).

She isn’t in the wedding. She wants her spouse to go too. She asked if we think it’s reasonable for her to ask to wear the baby, and my answer is that it isn’t. The wedding is not about the OP but wearing a baby to a child-free wedding will certainly make it so.

But you said she can be apart from the baby for 3.5 hours. Not necessarily true.

Okay. When I was nursing an infant I worked, and of course I was away from my infant for 3.5 hours. I pumped milk. Every mother I know was able to be away from an infant for at least 3.5 hours.

OP, you say you’ll still be nursing. How old will the baby be? Will the baby be taking bottles and some solids?

I personally had no success with pumping and had to wean to go back to work.

So you would have been able to leave your child with your spouse and go to the wedding.

No, why would you think that?!

Did you read the comments you were responding to? We were discussing women who pumped and could leave their baby for more than 3.5 hours. You couldn’t pump and weaned. So yes, you could leave your baby for 3.5 hours since you were no longer breast feeding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’ll still be nursing the littlest so my preference is to bring the kids with ILs to watch them or pay for a trusted friend to come on the trip with us as a nanny. I’m not in the wedding. I have a small family so really only have family weddings every 10 years, so I don’t want my spouse to miss. Maybe I should be more specific and ask my sibling if we can baby wear the child under 1 since they won’t need a seat/plate and won’t be running around? The ceremony will be 30 mins and the breakfast reception will be 3 hours max since it’s non-traditional. Just not sure if I’m being unreasonable to ask.

I don’t think it is reasonable to ask if you can wear the baby. You can be apart from the baby for 3 1/2 hours.

That leave our travel time from accommodations to venue and back. That would have been too long of a window for me when nursing (3.5 hours would have been pushing it).

She isn’t in the wedding. She wants her spouse to go too. She asked if we think it’s reasonable for her to ask to wear the baby, and my answer is that it isn’t. The wedding is not about the OP but wearing a baby to a child-free wedding will certainly make it so.

But you said she can be apart from the baby for 3.5 hours. Not necessarily true.

Maybe the OP did share how old her youngest will be? All I saw was “I’ll still be nursing the littlest” and a reference to toddler ages. Are we talking a 3 MO? 9 MO? A toddler?

Sorry, OP, I see you said “child under 1.” Still unclear how old you mean.

Because the baby is 11 mos…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’ll still be nursing the littlest so my preference is to bring the kids with ILs to watch them or pay for a trusted friend to come on the trip with us as a nanny. I’m not in the wedding. I have a small family so really only have family weddings every 10 years, so I don’t want my spouse to miss. Maybe I should be more specific and ask my sibling if we can baby wear the child under 1 since they won’t need a seat/plate and won’t be running around? The ceremony will be 30 mins and the breakfast reception will be 3 hours max since it’s non-traditional. Just not sure if I’m being unreasonable to ask.

I don’t think it is reasonable to ask if you can wear the baby. You can be apart from the baby for 3 1/2 hours.

That leave our travel time from accommodations to venue and back. That would have been too long of a window for me when nursing (3.5 hours would have been pushing it).

She isn’t in the wedding. She wants her spouse to go too. She asked if we think it’s reasonable for her to ask to wear the baby, and my answer is that it isn’t. The wedding is not about the OP but wearing a baby to a child-free wedding will certainly make it so.

But you said she can be apart from the baby for 3.5 hours. Not necessarily true.

Maybe the OP did share how old her youngest will be? All I saw was “I’ll still be nursing the littlest” and a reference to toddler ages. Are we talking a 3 MO? 9 MO? A toddler?

Sorry, OP, I see you said “child under 1.” Still unclear how old you mean.

Because the baby is 11 mos…

The baby will be 11 months old at the time of the wedding? That means bottles and solids and surely an ability to be separated from the baby for 3.5 hours?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one is commenting on the destination wedding having a breakfast reception?

Because the “destination” is the city where the groom’s family lives. OP has set this story up to make it seem it’s an international destination and that her baby is under 3 months. And she hasn’t returned to the thread. There’s a name for this type of poster…

[Anonymous]

This is the worst wedding. How is anyone going to a midweek, outdoor, morning destination wedding?

Your sister should be bending over backwards to have you there. If she isn’t, I would expect that she doesn’t care if you go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’ll still be nursing the littlest so my preference is to bring the kids with ILs to watch them or pay for a trusted friend to come on the trip with us as a nanny. I’m not in the wedding. I have a small family so really only have family weddings every 10 years, so I don’t want my spouse to miss. Maybe I should be more specific and ask my sibling if we can baby wear the child under 1 since they won’t need a seat/plate and won’t be running around? The ceremony will be 30 mins and the breakfast reception will be 3 hours max since it’s non-traditional. Just not sure if I’m being unreasonable to ask.

I don’t think it is reasonable to ask if you can wear the baby. You can be apart from the baby for 3 1/2 hours.

That leave our travel time from accommodations to venue and back. That would have been too long of a window for me when nursing (3.5 hours would have been pushing it).

She isn’t in the wedding. She wants her spouse to go too. She asked if we think it’s reasonable for her to ask to wear the baby, and my answer is that it isn’t. The wedding is not about the OP but wearing a baby to a child-free wedding will certainly make it so.

But you said she can be apart from the baby for 3.5 hours. Not necessarily true.

Okay. When I was nursing an infant I worked, and of course I was away from my infant for 3.5 hours. I pumped milk. Every mother I know was able to be away from an infant for at least 3.5 hours.

OP, you say you’ll still be nursing. How old will the baby be? Will the baby be taking bottles and some solids?

I personally had no success with pumping and had to wean to go back to work.

So you would have been able to leave your child with your spouse and go to the wedding.

No, why would you think that?!

Did you read the comments you were responding to? We were discussing women who pumped and could leave their baby for more than 3.5 hours. You couldn’t pump and weaned. So yes, you could leave your baby for 3.5 hours since you were no longer breast feeding.

Not WHEN I was nursing! Obviously!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’ll still be nursing the littlest so my preference is to bring the kids with ILs to watch them or pay for a trusted friend to come on the trip with us as a nanny. I’m not in the wedding. I have a small family so really only have family weddings every 10 years, so I don’t want my spouse to miss. Maybe I should be more specific and ask my sibling if we can baby wear the child under 1 since they won’t need a seat/plate and won’t be running around? The ceremony will be 30 mins and the breakfast reception will be 3 hours max since it’s non-traditional. Just not sure if I’m being unreasonable to ask.

I don’t think it is reasonable to ask if you can wear the baby. You can be apart from the baby for 3 1/2 hours.

That leave our travel time from accommodations to venue and back. That would have been too long of a window for me when nursing (3.5 hours would have been pushing it).

She isn’t in the wedding. She wants her spouse to go too. She asked if we think it’s reasonable for her to ask to wear the baby, and my answer is that it isn’t. The wedding is not about the OP but wearing a baby to a child-free wedding will certainly make it so.

But you said she can be apart from the baby for 3.5 hours. Not necessarily true.

Okay. When I was nursing an infant I worked, and of course I was away from my infant for 3.5 hours. I pumped milk. Every mother I know was able to be away from an infant for at least 3.5 hours.

OP, you say you’ll still be nursing. How old will the baby be? Will the baby be taking bottles and some solids?

I personally had no success with pumping and had to wean to go back to work.

So you would have been able to leave your child with your spouse and go to the wedding.

No, why would you think that?!

Did you read the comments you were responding to? We were discussing women who pumped and could leave their baby for more than 3.5 hours. You couldn’t pump and weaned. So yes, you could leave your baby for 3.5 hours since you were no longer breast feeding.

Not WHEN I was nursing! Obviously!

So you didn’t read what you were responding to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is the worst wedding. How is anyone going to a midweek, outdoor, morning destination wedding?

Your sister should be bending over backwards to have you there. If she isn’t, I would expect that she doesn’t care if you go.

She isn’t in the wedding. Isn’t this all a little obvious?

[Anonymous]

Bring your kids to the destination, but dont bring them to the to the ceremony or reception. You can leave your kids for the 3 hours of their wedding.

I think it's inappropriate to ask if you can bring kids to their clearly kid-free event.

[Anonymous]

Not a fan of kid free weddings at all, but unless baby will be <3/4mos at the time of the wedding, you have a lot of options and are just being difficult.

If baby is <3/4 months and not allowed onsite at all, you’d be perfectly justified in declining to attend, IMHO. DH would be there and could and should immediately step out with baby if fussy. Or you can leave early, if baby is out of sorts.

For an older baby- even one who won’t take a bottle, come on now…you have a lot of options. If the kids are with ILs nearby the venue, surely you could pop over midway through to nurse, if needed? or leave the breakfast early? Or MIL bring baby to you at some point to nurse, then leave with baby? Given you are not in the wedding, you would have the flexibility to do so and everyone would understand the needs of a nursing infant.

Personally, I’d work on getting baby to take a bottle and leave the kids home with DH. Easiest for all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’ll still be nursing the littlest so my preference is to bring the kids with ILs to watch them or pay for a trusted friend to come on the trip with us as a nanny. I’m not in the wedding. I have a small family so really only have family weddings every 10 years, so I don’t want my spouse to miss. Maybe I should be more specific and ask my sibling if we can baby wear the child under 1 since they won’t need a seat/plate and won’t be running around? The ceremony will be 30 mins and the breakfast reception will be 3 hours max since it’s non-traditional. Just not sure if I’m being unreasonable to ask.

I don’t think it is reasonable to ask if you can wear the baby. You can be apart from the baby for 3 1/2 hours.

That leave our travel time from accommodations to venue and back. That would have been too long of a window for me when nursing (3.5 hours would have been pushing it).

She isn’t in the wedding. She wants her spouse to go too. She asked if we think it’s reasonable for her to ask to wear the baby, and my answer is that it isn’t. The wedding is not about the OP but wearing a baby to a child-free wedding will certainly make it so.

But you said she can be apart from the baby for 3.5 hours. Not necessarily true.

Maybe the OP did share how old her youngest will be? All I saw was “I’ll still be nursing the littlest” and a reference to toddler ages. Are we talking a 3 MO? 9 MO? A toddler?

Sorry, OP, I see you said “child under 1.” Still unclear how old you mean.

Because the baby is 11 mos…

An 11mo is perfectly fine without mom for 3-4 hours regardless of breastfeeding, good grief. An 11mo is also prime age for being disruptive and unhappy at a quiet 3hr event and would be happier elsewhere.

If a young infant, my opinion would be entirely different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the worst wedding. How is anyone going to a midweek, outdoor, morning destination wedding?

Your sister should be bending over backwards to have you there. If she isn’t, I would expect that she doesn’t care if you go.

She isn’t in the wedding. Isn’t this all a little obvious?

I guess so. Either:
1) the bride/groom are a little delusional about who is going to come to their midweek, childfree destination wedding breakfast

2). the OP is delusional about how close she and her sibling really are and how important it is that she attend.

3) The OP is a troll