New VA trans policies for schools

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The attitude of some teachers posting here is that of the parent automatically being bad and an adversary. The APS superintendent didn't mention parents. This is why many parents question the public school system - they have no idea what may be going on at school with their children and fear that the school is not being honest with them. I anticipate that homeschooling and private schools will continue to see growth as parents seek an environment where they are fully informed.

If a parent doesn't know what's going on at school, the parent can contact the school and talk to their child's counselor and teachers anytime they want. If a teacher is aware their child is hiding their non-conforming gender identity and use of different pronouns and names from their parents, the teacher can suggest a meeting that includes mental health professionals, the parent, the student, the teacher. It should not be the teacher's responsibility to butt into family lives, except as appropriately required to report abuse to child protective services.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I taught middle school 10 years ago and there were queer kids who had to stay closeted at home because their parents tried to “beat the gay” out of them. It was horrifying, and of course I told those kids there was nothing wrong with them, they were perfect just the way they were. I also did not disclose anything about their sexuality to their parents.

I think some of the PPs have no idea what goes on behind closed doors in too many households.

Promoting medication and surgery is the problem. It's a smaller number of teachers, but there are teachers and librarians promoting this and the rest of the staff is complicit.

This is made up. Completely. We do not advise any student, trans or cis, on anything medical or surgical. The fact you even believe this is evidence you don’t have the common sense to be a valid participant in this convo.

But you support that one teacher, you're not in the room with them all the time when they are talking to the kids, but you know what they're saying.

Are you in the room with them? So you actually know what they're saying to the kids and have heard the teachers tell students to go seek medical transition drugs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I taught middle school 10 years ago and there were queer kids who had to stay closeted at home because their parents tried to “beat the gay” out of them. It was horrifying, and of course I told those kids there was nothing wrong with them, they were perfect just the way they were. I also did not disclose anything about their sexuality to their parents.

I think some of the PPs have no idea what goes on behind closed doors in too many households.

Or maybe they know exactly what happens. and are ok with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the rules really that bad? Don’t socially transition a child without the parent’s knowledge and permission? Sports that are segregated by sex continue to be segregated by sex rather than gender identity?

If you're a right wing conservative and anti trans then I guess the new rules are perfectly fine.

I'm neither, but women's rights don't get trumped by biological boys who don't want to compete against other biological boys.

This also though prevents bio girls from competing on bio boys teams. Meanwhile they get misgendered on bio girls teams because they have transitioned and look like "boys". Arlington Karens asking why there's a boy on the team LOUDLY. This happens all the time.

Yes. The anti trans people don't want trans kids to be anywhere. They are just supposed to "conform" or disappear I guess.

Or just select a gender appropriate sport where they are good enough to make the team.

What’s a gender appropriate sport? If a person born female is good enough to make the boys team, these rules don’t allow her to be on the team.

Is this true? I honestly don't 'know. When I was in HS in the late 90s we had a girl on our football team. Can girls not try out for boys teams at all?

These new rules no longer allow this. There are many girls on boys teams, as there has been for years. But these rules make girls only play girls sports on girls teams. Wake up people. Don’t you see what’s happening to women? White men in power are telling them where they belong and what they have rights to do?

This! LGBQT+++ is just the low-hanging fruit distracting from the next steps. The Christian right that is pushing the hardest on these things is a very patriarchal society. Women will be put back in their place by the end of it all, if people keep their eyes fixed on the current step in the ladder and don't start looking up at the next rung.

+1

Youngkin & VA GOP are forced birthers. Women are next.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The emotional blackmail about trans suicides has already started in our local Facebook group.

It’s not emotional blackmail, it’s statistics. I understand they are not comfortable to absorb but that isn’t blackmail. LGBTQ teens commit suicide at rates much, much higher than their cis straight peers . The world is cruel to them.

Threatening self harm when you don't get your way is tactic of manipulation used by abusers. Same thing here.

If a kid threaten self harm they need medical help and support.....SOMETHING ONLY THEIR PARENTS CAN PROVIDE.

Seriously? You think parents of suicidal teens are equipped to provide the medical treatment they need? You do realize parents can't prescribe anti-depressants, unless they're an MD? And parents don't have the training for mental health counseling?

But their chorus teacher does?

What are you trying to advocate for?

No. No teacher is qualified for that. DOCTORS, other MEDICAL HEALTH PROFESSIONALS, and MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONALS are.
But that chorus teacher absolutely CAN provide support. I'm not a legal expert; but I would hope that teachers are obligated to notify someone if they believe their student is in danger of harming themselves, just like they are obligated to report sexual abuse.

Not advocating for anything. Just find it astounding that someone thinks ONLY a PARENT can provide the medical help and support a kid needs. Maybe technically only a parent can provide the access and finances for medical treatment; but they cannot provide all the actual medical treatment and certainly are not the only sources of "support." If so, we wouldn't need an entire medical profession.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the rules really that bad? Don’t socially transition a child without the parent’s knowledge and permission? Sports that are segregated by sex continue to be segregated by sex rather than gender identity?

If you're a right wing conservative and anti trans then I guess the new rules are perfectly fine.

I'm neither, but women's rights don't get trumped by biological boys who don't want to compete against other biological boys.

Mom of a straight cis girl here. I don't think she wants to share the girls bathroom with trans boys who everyone considers to be boys. What about her rights?

+1 there are moms here in VA that are listening to their girls at home say they don't want to have to change a pad or tampon with a biological boy in the next stall or have to change clothes with them in the locker room. These girls have rights too.

Believe me - a trans girl is going to have to be a lot braver than your cis daughter when it comes to navigating bathrooms and locker rooms. Boys don’t just walk around living as girls so they can spy on your daughter changing her pad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This policy says that teachers can’t use nicknames without parent permission. I know this is aimed at trans kids. But wouldn’t that also mean that every time a kid named William asks to be called Will the teachers have get parental approval?

I'd like to see this avenue for legal challenges pursued. The State would have to act with clarification to the policy.
Maybe we'll see a notable increase in the number of kids whose parents give them gender-neutral names in the years ahead. Buy your stock in "Chris" now!

Why?

Because I'd like to see how the State defines common nicknames for all the given names out there; which ones they deem acceptable and in alignment with their given birth names and gender; how they explain why some off-brand nicknames are ok but others are not. For example, a kid who has a difficult name to pronounce who just goes by something else that does not obviously derive from their legal name because life is so much simpler that way - that's ok; but William going by "Junior" even though he isn't technically a Jr., or Wilma -- masculine and feminine versions of the same name -- are not.

What they currently have done is made a policy forbidding transgenderism without actually outlawing transgender living. Make them say it. This isn't about parent rights. It's about forcing a certain system of lifestyle and values. These parents don't give a crap about "rights." They just use the term to establish a credible moral and legal basis for the policies they want.

[Anonymous]

I think this comes down to the fact that parents do have rights to regarding their children's education but those rights do not mean the parents get to CONTROL every single thing that happens at school. Parents do not control every interaction a child has with a teacher or another student. Parents don't get to veto what's being taught. If you want that kind of control, find a christian nutter private school or homeschool.

And only one side of parents rights are being upheld here by the MAGA Youngkins. I am a parent who wants school to be a safe space for my child if there was something they were not comfortable coming to me about. I as a parent want my child to have that support and protection if they need it. What about MY rights?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the rules really that bad? Don’t socially transition a child without the parent’s knowledge and permission? Sports that are segregated by sex continue to be segregated by sex rather than gender identity?

If you're a right wing conservative and anti trans then I guess the new rules are perfectly fine.

I'm neither, but women's rights don't get trumped by biological boys who don't want to compete against other biological boys.

This also though prevents bio girls from competing on bio boys teams. Meanwhile they get misgendered on bio girls teams because they have transitioned and look like "boys". Arlington Karens asking why there's a boy on the team LOUDLY. This happens all the time.

Yes. The anti trans people don't want trans kids to be anywhere. They are just supposed to "conform" or disappear I guess.

Or just select a gender appropriate sport where they are good enough to make the team.

What’s a gender appropriate sport? If a person born female is good enough to make the boys team, these rules don’t allow her to be on the team.

Is this true? I honestly don't 'know. When I was in HS in the late 90s we had a girl on our football team. Can girls not try out for boys teams at all?

These new rules no longer allow this. There are many girls on boys teams, as there has been for years. But these rules make girls only play girls sports on girls teams. Wake up people. Don’t you see what’s happening to women? White men in power are telling them where they belong and what they have rights to do?

This! LGBQT+++ is just the low-hanging fruit distracting from the next steps. The Christian right that is pushing the hardest on these things is a very patriarchal society. Women will be put back in their place by the end of it all, if people keep their eyes fixed on the current step in the ladder and don't start looking up at the next rung.

Nope. This is just about trans, gender expansive, gender fluid, nonbinary. Not LGB.

If you don't know what this is about, you won't know what you're talking about. You'll talk about something else, fight about something else.

This specific movement is about LGBQ ETC ETC ETC. That doesn't mean it won't be something else when that's "taken care of."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the rules really that bad? Don’t socially transition a child without the parent’s knowledge and permission? Sports that are segregated by sex continue to be segregated by sex rather than gender identity?

If you're a right wing conservative and anti trans then I guess the new rules are perfectly fine.

I'm neither, but women's rights don't get trumped by biological boys who don't want to compete against other biological boys.

Mom of a straight cis girl here. I don't think she wants to share the girls bathroom with trans boys who everyone considers to be boys. What about her rights?

+1 there are moms here in VA that are listening to their girls at home say they don't want to have to change a pad or tampon with a biological boy in the next stall or have to change clothes with them in the locker room. These girls have rights too.

There were a lot of white girls uncomfortable with sharing a bathroom with black girls too. Sometimes things make us uncomfortable but that doesn't mean that it is wrong or we should make laws banning it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just ignore it. Not like Youngkin has any mandate or actual authority

This is the VDOE, not Youngkin.

Who do you think VDOE reports to? And who appointed the head of VDOE?

VDOE or Youngkin, they have the mandate and the authority.

You can ignore it, but school districts cannot.

I was trying to point out to the PP that VDOE = Youngkin; so yes, it is Youngkin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this comes down to the fact that parents do have rights to regarding their children's education but those rights do not mean the parents get to CONTROL every single thing that happens at school. Parents do not control every interaction a child has with a teacher or another student. Parents don't get to veto what's being taught. If you want that kind of control, find a christian nutter private school or homeschool.

And only one side of parents rights are being upheld here by the MAGA Youngkins. I am a parent who wants school to be a safe space for my child if there was something they were not comfortable coming to me about. I as a parent want my child to have that support and protection if they need it. What about MY rights?

I’m a parent and according to Youngkin I can dictate what happens at school.

I declare that all kids, including transgender kids, should be safe at school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the rules really that bad? Don’t socially transition a child without the parent’s knowledge and permission? Sports that are segregated by sex continue to be segregated by sex rather than gender identity?

If you're a right wing conservative and anti trans then I guess the new rules are perfectly fine.

I'm neither, but women's rights don't get trumped by biological boys who don't want to compete against other biological boys.

Mom of a straight cis girl here. I don't think she wants to share the girls bathroom with trans boys who everyone considers to be boys. What about her rights?

+1 there are moms here in VA that are listening to their girls at home say they don't want to have to change a pad or tampon with a biological boy in the next stall or have to change clothes with them in the locker room. These girls have rights too.

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the rules really that bad? Don’t socially transition a child without the parent’s knowledge and permission? Sports that are segregated by sex continue to be segregated by sex rather than gender identity?

If you're a right wing conservative and anti trans then I guess the new rules are perfectly fine.

I'm neither, but women's rights don't get trumped by biological boys who don't want to compete against other biological boys.

Mom of a straight cis girl here. I don't think she wants to share the girls bathroom with trans boys who everyone considers to be boys. What about her rights?

+1 there are moms here in VA that are listening to their girls at home say they don't want to have to change a pad or tampon with a biological boy in the next stall or have to change clothes with them in the locker room. These girls have rights too.

There were a lot of white girls uncomfortable with sharing a bathroom with black girls too. Sometimes things make us uncomfortable but that doesn't mean that it is wrong or we should make laws banning it.

Really what year 1920?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are the rules really that bad? Don’t socially transition a child without the parent’s knowledge and permission? Sports that are segregated by sex continue to be segregated by sex rather than gender identity?

If you're a right wing conservative and anti trans then I guess the new rules are perfectly fine.

I'm neither, but women's rights don't get trumped by biological boys who don't want to compete against other biological boys.

This also though prevents bio girls from competing on bio boys teams. Meanwhile they get misgendered on bio girls teams because they have transitioned and look like "boys". Arlington Karens asking why there's a boy on the team LOUDLY. This happens all the time.

Yes. The anti trans people don't want trans kids to be anywhere. They are just supposed to "conform" or disappear I guess.

Or just select a gender appropriate sport where they are good enough to make the team.

What’s a gender appropriate sport? If a person born female is good enough to make the boys team, these rules don’t allow her to be on the team.

Is this true? I honestly don't 'know. When I was in HS in the late 90s we had a girl on our football team. Can girls not try out for boys teams at all?

These new rules no longer allow this. There are many girls on boys teams, as there has been for years. But these rules make girls only play girls sports on girls teams. Wake up people. Don’t you see what’s happening to women? White men in power are telling them where they belong and what they have rights to do?

This! LGBQT+++ is just the low-hanging fruit distracting from the next steps. The Christian right that is pushing the hardest on these things is a very patriarchal society. Women will be put back in their place by the end of it all, if people keep their eyes fixed on the current step in the ladder and don't start looking up at the next rung.

Nope. This is just about trans, gender expansive, gender fluid, nonbinary. Not LGB.

If you don't know what this is about, you won't know what you're talking about. You'll talk about something else, fight about something else.

These are OUR kids. Those of you spouting off about hypothetical situations have NO idea. You don't have to worry about your kid getting beat up, killed, committing suicide, or even just having someone to love them....just because of who they are. This is real life to us, not some hypothetical.