Embittered because they feel entitled. |
Character flaws: “didn't know how to listen and didn't react well to not getting what they wanted.“ |
| Deliberately? |
Exactly. Just because you check off items on your imaginary checklist doesn’t mean you’re entitled to anything. |
Virtually every man in the United States' lived experience would disagree. |
You're quoting a female PP about her perception of the guys that she turned down. You (nor I) have any idea whether what she says is true. |
It is not a woman's fault that she is not attracted. It is neither a character flaw for a man to be unattractive.
This is the heart of the Red Pill. Many men learn they attract women by projecting a strong sense of self, paradoxically by not seeking women, or not overinvesting. I used Scott Alexander to illustrate because he was a well-known blogger, physician, incel, and kind guy of upstanding character. He did not feel entitled. But he did feel it was cosmically unfair to be incel while his sociopathic patients had many women. Again, it is not wrong to reject him. But it is wrong to tell him that he lacks dates because of bad character. Somebody needed to explain that serial killers get love letters, and he needed to stop conflating romantic success with virtue. He lacked dates because he did not connect with women by authentically projecting naughty character. For the most part, women don't explicitly date for dinners. But they will accept online dates as back-up options, and then flake. Or if they are not attracted, then they will gleefully order appetizers with their drinks, bolt, and booty-text their regulars. Some people just treat others as disposable. Men don't risk assault on dates, more like death by a thousand cuts. Unsuccessful men get understandably demoralized and embittered. These guys are not angry at women for rejecting them. They are angry for bad advice, and for being told they are bad for wanting love. Elliot Rodger was portrayed as a misogynist, but he killed mostly men. |
She is explaining why she wasn't attracted to them. They should be careful with their words and choices because her perception is what informs her feelings about them. |
Maybe "bad character" is the wrong description. Sounds like he (and others) are lacking some social skills. He should take a break from his extensive reading/blogging/redditing/online persona and interact more with real people IRL. Touch grass, Scott et al. You don't get dates based on your resume, but your interpersonal skills. Sense of humor is the biggest draw for many women. Maybe he (and others) should lighten up and stop taking themselves so seriously. And the reason why he lacked dates wasn't because he was inherently a good guy (AKA not naughty) - he honestly just sounds like a stick in the mud. You don't need to be "naughty" to be interesting/funny/etc. Work on EQ instead of trying to be a bad guy. |
Yes I have friends who have turned down guys because they did not like the shoes, glass or type of wallet the guy was wearing/used. |
Sounds like your friends need some work too. I’m sure their (perceived) shallowness is a turn off for many guys. |