Good friend canceled on us to be with her SO

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OO how old are you all?

33.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Something isn’t adding up here. I’ve booked many a vacation house/condo with another couple or couples and never in a million years would anybody involved change the dates without the prior agree of everybody involved. Who does that!?

OP again, I’ve met the group; so it’s the host and his girlfriend, his sister and her boyfriend, his brother and his girlfriend, his best friend and his girlfriend, and a few of his cousins. The host, his girlfriend, sister, and brother all bought a new boat together and they’re taking it out for the first time. So I guess because he’s related to the majority of the guests it wasn’t a huge deal to move the trip up a few days. I don’t know. That’s my best guess.

So this is a family lake house? Not a place they paid to rent?

No it’s not. I’m saying since a lot of his family members are going it wasn’t that hard to move it a few days earlier.

OMG now I’m even more confused. I thought this was going to be a romantic weekend getaway for your friend and her BF, but no, it’s some kind of extended family reunion with the BF’s siblings, cousins, etc. and she’d rather do THAT (sounds like the IL beach house hell week threads we get every summer and they aren’t even engaged or married). Hell naw.

How is it not romantic? If it’s all couples they’d have their own room. Being out on a boat is still better than being at home in cold, rainy, weather with friends that you just hosted a month prior.

Unless they are renting some grand estate, they’re going to be in very close quarters = not romantic. To each her own - I hate multi-family trips where everyone crams into the same beach house - but if that’s more appealing to her than being cooped up at home with houseguests that’s perfectly fair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Something isn’t adding up here. I’ve booked many a vacation house/condo with another couple or couples and never in a million years would anybody involved change the dates without the prior agree of everybody involved. Who does that!?

OP again, I’ve met the group; so it’s the host and his girlfriend, his sister and her boyfriend, his brother and his girlfriend, his best friend and his girlfriend, and a few of his cousins. The host, his girlfriend, sister, and brother all bought a new boat together and they’re taking it out for the first time. So I guess because he’s related to the majority of the guests it wasn’t a huge deal to move the trip up a few days. I don’t know. That’s my best guess.

So this is a family lake house? Not a place they paid to rent?

No it’s not. I’m saying since a lot of his family members are going it wasn’t that hard to move it a few days earlier.

OMG now I’m even more confused. I thought this was going to be a romantic weekend getaway for your friend and her BF, but no, it’s some kind of extended family reunion with the BF’s siblings, cousins, etc. and she’d rather do THAT (sounds like the IL beach house hell week threads we get every summer and they aren’t even engaged or married). Hell naw.

How is it not romantic? If it’s all couples they’d have their own room. Being out on a boat is still better than being at home in cold, rainy, weather with friends that you just hosted a month prior.

Unless they are renting some grand estate, they’re going to be in very close quarters = not romantic. To each her own - I hate multi-family trips where everyone crams into the same beach house - but if that’s more appealing to her than being cooped up at home with houseguests that’s perfectly fair.

It’s not a family trip. In order for them accommodate all of those couples it’s got be a pretty big lake house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Something isn’t adding up here. I’ve booked many a vacation house/condo with another couple or couples and never in a million years would anybody involved change the dates without the prior agree of everybody involved. Who does that!?

OP again, I’ve met the group; so it’s the host and his girlfriend, his sister and her boyfriend, his brother and his girlfriend, his best friend and his girlfriend, and a few of his cousins. The host, his girlfriend, sister, and brother all bought a new boat together and they’re taking it out for the first time. So I guess because he’s related to the majority of the guests it wasn’t a huge deal to move the trip up a few days. I don’t know. That’s my best guess.

So this is a family lake house? Not a place they paid to rent?

No it’s not. I’m saying since a lot of his family members are going it wasn’t that hard to move it a few days earlier.

OMG now I’m even more confused. I thought this was going to be a romantic weekend getaway for your friend and her BF, but no, it’s some kind of extended family reunion with the BF’s siblings, cousins, etc. and she’d rather do THAT (sounds like the IL beach house hell week threads we get every summer and they aren’t even engaged or married). Hell naw.

How is it not romantic? If it’s all couples they’d have their own room. Being out on a boat is still better than being at home in cold, rainy, weather with friends that you just hosted a month prior.

Unless they are renting some grand estate, they’re going to be in very close quarters = not romantic. To each her own - I hate multi-family trips where everyone crams into the same beach house - but if that’s more appealing to her than being cooped up at home with houseguests that’s perfectly fair.

It’s not a family trip. In order for them accommodate all of those couples it’s got be a pretty big lake house.

Lol I see you haven’t met my ILs who tried to put me and DH on a pullout in the living room when we were newly married

[Anonymous]

You're taking advantage of your friend. Why not just invite all the other girls to your house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Something isn’t adding up here. I’ve booked many a vacation house/condo with another couple or couples and never in a million years would anybody involved change the dates without the prior agree of everybody involved. Who does that!?

OP again, I’ve met the group; so it’s the host and his girlfriend, his sister and her boyfriend, his brother and his girlfriend, his best friend and his girlfriend, and a few of his cousins. The host, his girlfriend, sister, and brother all bought a new boat together and they’re taking it out for the first time. So I guess because he’s related to the majority of the guests it wasn’t a huge deal to move the trip up a few days. I don’t know. That’s my best guess.

So this is a family lake house? Not a place they paid to rent?

No it’s not. I’m saying since a lot of his family members are going it wasn’t that hard to move it a few days earlier.

OMG now I’m even more confused. I thought this was going to be a romantic weekend getaway for your friend and her BF, but no, it’s some kind of extended family reunion with the BF’s siblings, cousins, etc. and she’d rather do THAT (sounds like the IL beach house hell week threads we get every summer and they aren’t even engaged or married). Hell naw.

How is it not romantic? If it’s all couples they’d have their own room. Being out on a boat is still better than being at home in cold, rainy, weather with friends that you just hosted a month prior.

Unless they are renting some grand estate, they’re going to be in very close quarters = not romantic. To each her own - I hate multi-family trips where everyone crams into the same beach house - but if that’s more appealing to her than being cooped up at home with houseguests that’s perfectly fair.

It’s not a family trip. In order for them accommodate all of those couples it’s got be a pretty big lake house.

Lol I see you haven’t met my ILs who tried to put me and DH on a pullout in the living room when we were newly married

Lol. I asked my friend where they were going and I don’t know the exact house but it’s a very affluent area where they’re staying so my guess is the home is palatial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're taking advantage of your friend. Why not just invite all the other girls to your house?

This.

[Anonymous]

I don't know. If I was your friend, I would have chosen to go with my BF to the Lake House as he paid for it.

I would also have left my house keys with a neighbor, installed a ring lock that can be remotely opened, or have a combination lock etc, so that my friends would have stayed at my house and did not have to pay for NY rental.

I mean, y'all are angry about not having a place to stay, correct?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know. If I was your friend, I would have chosen to go with my BF to the Lake House as he paid for it.

I would also have left my house keys with a neighbor, installed a ring lock that can be remotely opened, or have a combination lock etc, so that my friends would have stayed at my house and did not have to pay for NY rental.

I mean, y'all are angry about not having a place to stay, correct?

People keep making this about a “free place to stay” but I don’t get that vibe from OP at all given that she was content to hang out at the house with her friends vs. use the house as a crash pad as she gallivants all around NY.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know. If I was your friend, I would have chosen to go with my BF to the Lake House as he paid for it.

I would also have left my house keys with a neighbor, installed a ring lock that can be remotely opened, or have a combination lock etc, so that my friends would have stayed at my house and did not have to pay for NY rental.

I mean, y'all are angry about not having a place to stay, correct?

People keep making this about a “free place to stay” but I don’t get that vibe from OP at all given that she was content to hang out at the house with her friends vs. use the house as a crash pad as she gallivants all around NY.

I think we’re saying this because it seems like they’re always going to the friends house. If it was about them getting together someone else could’ve offered their home but OP didn’t mention that. It kind of seems like they’re using this friend as the fun/get away house in the city. No one wants to host all the time and as a PP said twice in 2 months is quite a bit and it’s exhausting. If this friend can’t host then the friends can’t get together? It’s too much and it seems like they’re using the friend whether they mean to or not.

[Anonymous]

Why can’t you stay at the home of the friend who lives 20 minutes from your friend who canceled?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my friends get pissy about a change in plans, let alone an understandable one, then our friendship is worth nothing. And obviously this doesn't include higher stake things that include booked flights, hotels etc. A cancellation there is a different matter.

+1. I don’t know if because I’m more of the “low maintenance” friend and or because I fully expect my friendships to take a backseat to serious relationships as we get older I don’t see the big deal? This sounds like a one off and nothing was planned or paid for, and it’s not the day off or night before that she canceled so what’s the big fuss?

Nah, ditching friends for a bf is middle and high school behavior. I totally get that the lake house weekend sounds more enticing than hosting girlfriends for a rainy weekend at home, but when you make plans with people you care about, you don’t bail because something better comes along.

She didn’t have a better offer if she was already set to go on the trip. So she was supposed to ditch plans with another person she cared about to sit at home with nothing to do but host people?

NP - the trip was supposed to start later. Moreover, she was hosting her *friends* FFS, not her in-laws or her spouse’s creepy boss or whomever. “Nothing to do but host people”? Is that how you really think of a girls’ weekend?

The number of assumptions many PPs are making is pretty staggering, even for DCUM. If you have low expectations of your friends, you won’t have very good friends.

Fine, she was hosting her FRIENDS. Happy now?

Again, not a better offer of the trip was already planned and paid for but the dates changed due do unforeseen circumstances. Not that I have low expectations of my friends but realistic. OP said she chimed in and told her friend they could just stay in the house. Why would I even want to drive hours to go be in a house and do nothing anyways? Why would I want my friend to forgo a paid trip for us to inside and braid each others hair. What I would want is to reschedule so we could do something instead of being stuck in the house anyways.

So why didn’t OP’s friend say “ so sorry, paid-for plans changed unexpectedly, need to reschedule girls weekend” instead of passy-assy sending screenshots of the weather?

Well she kind of did. We had placed an order for a charcuterie board for our picnic but because of the rain had to cancel it. She said that we shouldn’t cancel but wanted to reschedule.

I wasn’t aware you can only eat charcuterie outside! How odd.

You’re obnoxious.

Thanks hon

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why can’t you stay at the home of the friend who lives 20 minutes from your friend who canceled?

We could but she has a baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know. If I was your friend, I would have chosen to go with my BF to the Lake House as he paid for it.

I would also have left my house keys with a neighbor, installed a ring lock that can be remotely opened, or have a combination lock etc, so that my friends would have stayed at my house and did not have to pay for NY rental.

I mean, y'all are angry about not having a place to stay, correct?

People keep making this about a “free place to stay” but I don’t get that vibe from OP at all given that she was content to hang out at the house with her friends vs. use the house as a crash pad as she gallivants all around NY.

I think we’re saying this because it seems like they’re always going to the friends house. If it was about them getting together someone else could’ve offered their home but OP didn’t mention that. It kind of seems like they’re using this friend as the fun/get away house in the city. No one wants to host all the time and as a PP said twice in 2 months is quite a bit and it’s exhausting. If this friend can’t host then the friends can’t get together? It’s too much and it seems like they’re using the friend whether they mean to or not.

Well, apparently OP lives in the boonies. Her friend likely doesn’t want to go there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know. If I was your friend, I would have chosen to go with my BF to the Lake House as he paid for it.

I would also have left my house keys with a neighbor, installed a ring lock that can be remotely opened, or have a combination lock etc, so that my friends would have stayed at my house and did not have to pay for NY rental.

I mean, y'all are angry about not having a place to stay, correct?

People keep making this about a “free place to stay” but I don’t get that vibe from OP at all given that she was content to hang out at the house with her friends vs. use the house as a crash pad as she gallivants all around NY.

I think we’re saying this because it seems like they’re always going to the friends house. If it was about them getting together someone else could’ve offered their home but OP didn’t mention that. It kind of seems like they’re using this friend as the fun/get away house in the city. No one wants to host all the time and as a PP said twice in 2 months is quite a bit and it’s exhausting. If this friend can’t host then the friends can’t get together? It’s too much and it seems like they’re using the friend whether they mean to or not.

Well, apparently OP lives in the boonies. Her friend likely doesn’t want to go there.

And? Her friend likely doesn’t want to host every time either, so I’m sure she’d go down the country one in a while.