The notion of a woman staying at home to organize carpools and activity schedules is pretty new too. I don't think men find that very hot either. |
Maybe you and your wife have a good marriage and are good parents. I think it’s a little judgmental to think that any marital issues or kid behavioral issues can be contributed to both parents working full time…I’m glad you make enough money so your wife can have time for childcare. |
okay but if that’s all that you think a SAHM is doing then you obviously are extremely biased. Pre 1980 you would have looked down on every MC/UMC white woman in America. It seems like you place a lot of value on paid employment as opposed to homemaking. |
DP. I do think there are a lot of households where there’s a tremendous amount of stress from both couples working. Especially if they are demanding jobs. The biggest stressor to me is that the woman often has limited time with her kids so she isn’t able to devote enough time to only her husband. |
It is weird to me how many people in this thread are talking about the parenting and marriages of law firm partners. In general this is not a group whose parenting and marriages should be admired. That holds true for marriages with a SAHP or two working parents. At least from the outside, law firm partner marriages seem to have a much higher than average rate of cheating, kids with issues, and spectacularly nasty divorces compared to other marriages, and it doesn’t seem to matter whether it’s a SAH or WOH marriage. I find it odd that they appear as examples so often in this thread. |
There is no formula to change dynamics. If you marry a jerk, they will be one no matter what your roles. Managing stress is important for sahms and wohms.
It is easy to spot those in bad marriages as they accuse/ lash out. I can tell who has issues by their posts |
+1 Law firm partners also tend to work long hours and actually have no time to be with the kids. In that scenario a SAHM might make more sense. |
Fwiw, my husband works in finance. I SAHM because I have a chronic health condition. Also because he makes a lot of money, so we don’t need income from my side, and because when his first employer IPO’d he got a couple million out of it. He has since moved on to another job that requires less than 40 hours a week. High degree of flexibility, wfh, enjoys the people he works with, makes high six figures easy, etc. We’ve been together since college so our marriage is very egalitarian. He is super hands on with the kids and house. We got married young and bought our first house in the 09 crash and have climbed the property ladder through buying and selling at the right times.
I don’t relate at all to the law firm stuff or lawyer culture people talk about. Sounds horrible. You can’t assume everyone is stuck in that situation. |
Yes, but having a SAHM doesn’t seem to fix the underlying issues. |
Agree. Your average law firm partner will likely dislike you no matter what you do. A law firm partner putting down his SAHM isn’t reflective of too much besides he is miserable. If she worked and was a CEO he’d probably have a problem with that too. |
Why so defensive? Nobody said anything about law firms partner marriages being representative. Your lightning-quick defensiveness here is very odd. |
The past couple pages are all about the sins of male law partners. |
Sure. But literally nobody said or believes that they are representative and your panicked-sounding defensiveness comes across as weird. |
+1 |
That post doesn’t sound panicked. |