Reply to Divorce when kids go to college?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How would that be different from staying married?  Its parent's choice to pay.  You can always pay.[/quote]

For whatever reason, divorced dads are statistically less likely to pay for their kids' college than married ones. [/quote]

Isn't it because they are now paying alimony to the their formerly non working ex-SAHM wife, and often child support too while having to pay for their new apartment/house as well?

This occurs even when the SAHW was responsible--cheating, etc.[/quote]

Your children have nothing to do with your wrong choice to marry a no career woman who stayed at home. [/quote]

I would hope she would get a job to help contribute to the college fund.  I mean, it's not like she can use taking care of kids anymore once she's in empty nest..and divorced so truly only herself to look after.[/quote]

And in retaliation you left your kids without college education. Now your kids  and grandkids will be blue collar workers: are you happier?

Bachelors is new GED. Most people in this area have PhDs[/quote]

It's not him retaliating. It's her being selfish. If he's paying alimony and CS to a non-working XW who could work, and thus he can't afford to pay for his kids college, it is her decision that is ruining his kids lives, not his. His money is finite, and if men with guns force him to give his money to his XW, with the best will in the world he can't come up with more money for his kids college.[/quote]

I am talking about a situation when dad who makes $300k is being petty over his $1000 CS spent by lower paid exW on kids staying  with her during winter breaks. That’s obviously not enough. Such men don’t pay for college [/quote]

That absolutely isn't true however, that $1K should be used for college and living expenses.  A child visiting with mom on winter break is a visit, not living here and Mom is being greedy by demanding Dad pay her child support and still pay all expenses and college tuition/room/board.  That's not how it works.  The $1K goes as part of Dad's share, Mom pays a share, and then the parents can discuss with the child the remaining balance.  $12K a year is a lot of money given mom should also be paying part of her income to expenses.  Child support is not alimony.  Mom needs to move into housing she can afford alone and child can stay with Dad during the holiday if space is an issue.  If he's paying $1K a month in child support after 18, that is his contribution to college.  [/quote]

That's not what the law is, you are wrong. CS is not a college ear marked expense. Court system doesn't recognize college obligation beyond community colleges. Mom receives CS to equalize her household living conditions with exH to make children equally comfortable on college visits at both homes. She has the right to spend the CS on child's clothing, meals, presents, air fare and the pro-rated mortgage while kids are with her (and in particular when kids are with her all 4 months out of college). [/quote]

We’re talking about what decent honest people would do, not what the court says, PP is exactly right - if she is keeping CS to herself “because kids coming home from college cost money” instead of using that to contribute to tuition then she is a disgusting and dishonest human being. You know full well she’s just bilking her XH for play money, she’s not spending it on the kid.[/quote]

Kids need stable households on both sides: mom and dad. Mom shouldn't be packing her kids in a one bedroom apartment when they visit her for summer out of college. Kids have many expenses, and she has full right to spend this pitiful child support on their needs when they visit her, including housing. [/quote]

That’s not pitiful child support and mom also has an obligation.  Kids can stay with dad on breaks.  Mom needs to move to housing she can afford.  Alimony is for her needs.  This money should be for the child.  Neither parent has to pay for college.    If mom will not, why should dad when he’s paying child support.  [/quote]

That’s not correct understanding of child support purposes and laws. Mom is not obligated to transfer CS money to child when in college. So don’t pay anything out of your bitterness for $12000/year that went for your kids needs at exW household [/quote]

You don't understand the laws.  Neither parent has to spend that money on the kids.  So, Mom can collect child support and not spend it on the child as there is no accountability.  If child is away at college, Mom should be using that money plus a portion of her income to pay for college.  That is Dad's share of the child's expenses.  If space is an issue, child can go stay with Dad for holidays/summer.  Mom needs to pay for her own housing and stop expecting Dad to subsidize her.  And, if she chooses to keep that money, don't complain when Dad is not paying extra for college when he's still paying her and she's refusing to financially support the child in any way with Dad's money.  Child needs living expenses for college not in mom's home.  This is why they need to stop child support at 18 as often it doesn't actually go to the child's needs.[/quote]

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