AITA for thinking bride is heinous?

[Anonymous]

Did not read the entire thread, but OP, your move was brilliant!, since you are stepping down, the one who could not follow directions and was too late ordering can have your dress (she can pay for alterations).

I am sorry that you have a cousin like this. It is sad that she treats so badly the one she had hoped would be by her side on her big day. But she had it coming. Stand tall!!

[Anonymous]

Boundaries nicely held, OP. Sometimes it helps to let the universe go, deliberately. Her water is already churned and chaotic -- she doesn't need you to stir it.

Being quiet and not intervening can be an active process, too.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't do it. Sorry. I would decline the offer tp be in the bridal party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:UPDATE

So, I responded to the group text where my cousin ordered all the bridesmaids to buy a second dress. I answered that since the first dress was non refundable and a second dress wasn’t in my budget, I‘m stepping down as MOH to allow one of the bridesmaids to take my place and all the dresses to coordinate. I explained that I’m fine with not being MOH because we’ll always be family and I just want to make this wedding planning as easy as possible on my cousin.

My cousin didn’t respond. In all, she was radio silent for a week after the call in which she chewed me out over the phone. She then texted me yesterday to tell me she had a time slot that day in a two hour range between yoga to talk to me and told me to send her a time in that range that works. I found that incredibly entitled and arrogant, plus I didn’t want to sign up for being chewed out again. I told her that I felt bruised from our last call and that she should text me what she wants to say.

This morning, she sent me an 8 minute voice note. I don’t know exactly what she said in the note because I have small kids and a life. I’m not listening to an 8 minute voice note on memorial day. She also sent me texts “correcting” me on what she seems to believe are inaccuracies.

I’m so over this woman that I responded that I think it’s entitled of her to expect me to listen to an eight minute voice note and that I’m done with this bridesmaid drama. I told her to let me know if she still wants my family to attend her wedding and that was that. She texted a bunch of other stuff suggesting
that something must be going on with me for me to have a problem with her approach and blah blah blah. I’m not responding. Ladies and gentlemen, lesson learned on holding boundaries.

Well OP, as my mom would say - you done good!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did not read the entire thread, but OP, your move was brilliant!, since you are stepping down, the one who could not follow directions and was too late ordering can have your dress (she can pay for alterations).

I am sorry that you have a cousin like this. It is sad that she treats so badly the one she had hoped would be by her side on her big day. But she had it coming. Stand tall!!

Doesn’t everyone have at least one toxic relative?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Buy the second dress and then give her the first dress as a wedding gift.

This. Wrap it up in a really pretty package with a super frilly bow. Have more fun than her at her wedding. Then grey rock that girl for the rest of your life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Buy the second dress and then give her the first dress as a wedding gift.

This. Wrap it up in a really pretty package with a super frilly bow. Have more fun than her at her wedding. Then grey rock that girl for the rest of your life.

I could never do this, but I’m laughing so hard at the image. -OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can afford both dresses suck it up and roll with it. I’d be irritated too but you already committed and she has lots going on. She’s the AH you’re the bigger person

Eff being the “bigger person.” No one deserves to be treated that way. Sometimes you gotta draw the line.
Back out OP. Let her clean up the mess she created.

+1. Hell no. What is with these super entitled brides who act like they're dictators? Who cares if she has lots going on? Doesn't everyone. No one should be excused for bad behavior like this.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the update, OP! Well done! Keep us posted if you do attend the wedding and/or if she reaches out again!

[Anonymous]

you need to start gossiping with the other bridesmaids ASAP over what a B this bride is. And then cut her out of your life as much as possible.

[Anonymous]

I would not attend that wedding, let alone pay to be a part of it!

[Anonymous]

Happy for you OP. What a weight that’s been lifted.