AITA for thinking bride is heinous?

[Anonymous]

AITA.

I’m a very reluctant maid of honor to a cousin. I tried to beg out because she has a mean streak, but she kept pressing. Wedding planning has only made her worse. The current problem is bridesmaids dresses.

She picked a rare color from a store that was shipping several months out and demanded we all pay $75 extra for rush. I did. Total came to just under $300. As it turned out, one of the bridesmaids ignored all of her texts and calls, and didn’t get around to ordering the dress until recently. Even with rush shipping, her dress won’t arrive in time. My cousin’s fix was to tell the rest of us to buy new dresses from a new store that ships quickly.

How she went about it was…well, she group texted us instructions for the new dresses and then told us to call her “if there’s a problem.” That was it. She didn’t say anything about the dresses we had already bought. I called her to ask if she planned for us to wear both dresses (i.e., change outfits halfway through). She bit my head off, saying she couldn’t deal with questions, I just need to follow instructions and asking if I was that hard up for money. Her reaction was so mean and over the top that I held back as she spoke. I wanted to hear everything she had to say. We hung up with me calmly saying “I guess I’ll buy the second dress???” She said “Good” and hasn’t called me since.

Turns out the first store she chose offers only exchanges and they’ll keep half the cost of the dress. I kinda don’t want to be in the wedding anymore. I just feel bruised and insulted. If I had had to ask bridesmaids to get new dresses, I’d be so apologetic. I’d at least offer to cover the difference. Naturally, if she had offered to pay, I’d have turned down the money immediately. It’s not the ask or the money. It’s the how. Feelings matter.

Any advice on how to move forward here? Should I get over it? Maybe I should try to get her to fire me as MOH? I’d like us to keep in touch as family and see each other maybe annually. Zero pressure to attend her wedding because hardly anyone likes her. That makes me feel a little bad for her though.

[Anonymous]

If you can afford both dresses suck it up and roll with it. I’d be irritated too but you already committed and she has lots going on. She’s the AH you’re the bigger person

[Anonymous]

I’d buy the second dress instead of a gift.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't be MOH to someone who treats me like this. She could have found a different dress on Amazon for this girl and moved her to MOH, or done something different, or had her drop out or buy a sample.

[Anonymous]

Is this for real? I would not purchase a second dress without full reimbursement from her. She would have to fire me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I wouldn't be MOH to someone who treats me like this. She could have found a different dress on Amazon for this girl and moved her to MOH, or done something different, or had her drop out or buy a sample.m

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Her first ask for the $75 rush shipping was obnoxious and to ask you all to buy another dress w really crossed a line. I’d pass on the MOH role.

[Anonymous]

This is ridiculous. I had a large, complicated, formal wedding and would never act like this.

She needs to be creative and come up with another solution. It's unreasonable to ask for you to purchase a second dress.

Let BM who didn't get the first dress wear a different one and let her be the MOH because they often have a different dress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I wouldn't be MOH to someone who treats me like this. She could have found a different dress on Amazon for this girl and moved her to MOH, or done something different, or had her drop out or buy a sample.

+100

No one deserves to be treated like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you can afford both dresses suck it up and roll with it. I’d be irritated too but you already committed and she has lots going on. She’s the AH you’re the bigger person

Eff being the “bigger person.” No one deserves to be treated that way. Sometimes you gotta draw the line.
Back out OP. Let her clean up the mess she created.

[Anonymous]

Personally I would be so pissed at not only how she spoke to me, but also how she is treating her bridal team that I would just say F U‼️😡

Seriously.

Unless her wedding was really soon.

Then I would just suck it up.

But since she incurred more expense for you - then ditch any prospective wedding gift you would have purchased.

Your cousin sounds like worse than a bridezilla to me.

[Anonymous]

I had a similar situation and ended up getting removed from the bridal party. Thank goodness, because things only escalated as the wedding got closer.

You only have a few options right now:
Tell her you no longer want to be in the bridal party
Buy the second dress
Refuse to buy the second dress

I will say my relationship with the bride was never the same after her wedding drama, which I’m fine with. She’s a miserable person anyway and she showed her true colors.

[Anonymous]

I would resign but the only snafu here is that she is your cousin. Give your mother/father a heads-up so that she/he can deal with blowback from the side of the family this cousin is on.

[Anonymous]

Buy the second dress and then give her the first dress as a wedding gift.

[Anonymous]

If she is local and part of same family circle on a regular basis I would probably try and make it work. If not though, I would bow out of the entire wedding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Buy the second dress and then give her the first dress as a wedding gift.