Options to get freshman dc out of a really bad roommate situation? Airbnb?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There zero chance that DC is embellishing or being dramatic, right?

OP, consider that you are getting one side of the story. The reality might not be as bad if DC isn't hounding the housing office for a switch.

OP here. DC said two of the kids in the suite have a citation/probation(?) with housing & campus police for drinking. That has not deterred them.

OP please tell us which state school. My DC is a senior and in the process of deciding between a state and private school. Namely between umd and a private. He is nerdy too so this would be so helpful.

OP here. It’s a state school in Pa (where we’ve lived since DC was in middle school). People told us it was a “party school,” but we (regretfully) didn’t listen.

DC is happy and challenged academically and is going to live off-campus next year in an apartment with roommates, but will have their own room. DC is enjoying their extracurriculars and the location of the school is great. I don’t think we could afford a private university. So transferring isn’t on the table right now.

This happens at every school. The behavior is not the schools fault but go to the housing office and make a stink. If that doesn't work go above their head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ROTC Students have to be up early on weekends. So do students with jobs or religious services. You just have to have your clothes and shower stuff ready and quickly go.

When I went to school, I did 100% of my studying at the library or study lounges. That solved a lot of problems. If you are tired enough, sleep comes.

OP here. DC spends from 7am-7pm outside the room. It’s the nights that are their issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ROTC Students have to be up early on weekends. So do students with jobs or religious services. You just have to have your clothes and shower stuff ready and quickly go.

When I went to school, I did 100% of my studying at the library or study lounges. That solved a lot of problems. If you are tired enough, sleep comes.

OP here. DC spends from 7am-7pm outside the room. It’s the nights that are their issue.

Chiming in really late to this thread. My DC went to an Ivy (as a legacy - important later on). Freshman year, there was very weird weather plus the dorm was really, really old and about to be renovated. In the first six weeks DC was at school, we heard that the dorm room seemed really musty and moldy and they submitted a bunch of requests and building services would come and wipe bleach on the inside of the ceiling. We finally went up for parents' weekend and it was *nuts.* Building services had installed a commercial size trash can in the (very small) dorm room with a room dehumidifier pumping very loudly, night and day, but the ambient moisture level was off the charts and it was 100% clear that there was mold everywhere. (At that point, both DC and roommate had been sick-ish for weeks.) It was completely obvious that there was an active leak behind the walls or ceiling, but the building guys weren't going to do anything about it in response to student inquiries. I spent 20 minutes in the room and felt sick.

I sent an email as soon as we got home to the office that handles parents and alumni. It was polite, but pointed out in detail how the entire situation was untenable.

A day later, the building guys came, opened up the ceiling, discovered (surprise!) that there had been a slow leaking pipe for weeks spreading mold in the dorm, and they closed down a wing of the dorm and moved kids into a hotel for a couple of weeks to actually fix the problem. It was around the same time that UMd had similar problems and a girl died. I found it unconscionable that it took my complaint to move the needle, but it obviously did.

I would strongly urge that you, parent, reach out to the parent relations/alumni relations office, preferably in writing. That will get much more action than you kid could do by themselves, in my experience.

[Anonymous]

FART ON THE ROOMMATE'S BED

[Anonymous]

OP here. DC made a noise complaint to the RAs over the phone during last night’s “gathering” and DC reports that the RA got it to be silent within 5 minutes. DC will play dumb if they ask who made the complaint, since the suite door was propped open the whole time and DC whispered during the RA call.

I suppose that counts as DC handling it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ROTC Students have to be up early on weekends. So do students with jobs or religious services. You just have to have your clothes and shower stuff ready and quickly go.

When I went to school, I did 100% of my studying at the library or study lounges. That solved a lot of problems. If you are tired enough, sleep comes.

OP here. DC spends from 7am-7pm outside the room. It’s the nights that are their issue.

Chiming in really late to this thread. My DC went to an Ivy (as a legacy - important later on). Freshman year, there was very weird weather plus the dorm was really, really old and about to be renovated. In the first six weeks DC was at school, we heard that the dorm room seemed really musty and moldy and they submitted a bunch of requests and building services would come and wipe bleach on the inside of the ceiling. We finally went up for parents' weekend and it was *nuts.* Building services had installed a commercial size trash can in the (very small) dorm room with a room dehumidifier pumping very loudly, night and day, but the ambient moisture level was off the charts and it was 100% clear that there was mold everywhere. (At that point, both DC and roommate had been sick-ish for weeks.) It was completely obvious that there was an active leak behind the walls or ceiling, but the building guys weren't going to do anything about it in response to student inquiries. I spent 20 minutes in the room and felt sick.

I sent an email as soon as we got home to the office that handles parents and alumni. It was polite, but pointed out in detail how the entire situation was untenable.

A day later, the building guys came, opened up the ceiling, discovered (surprise!) that there had been a slow leaking pipe for weeks spreading mold in the dorm, and they closed down a wing of the dorm and moved kids into a hotel for a couple of weeks to actually fix the problem. It was around the same time that UMd had similar problems and a girl died. I found it unconscionable that it took my complaint to move the needle, but it obviously did.

I would strongly urge that you, parent, reach out to the parent relations/alumni relations office, preferably in writing. That will get much more action than you kid could do by themselves, in my experience.

OP here. I wish it was an issue with the physical plant of the dorm building rather than with the students themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get ear plugs and a good eye mask. I lived through this one semester. DC will learn to handle these situations on her own as she should. Don’t rescue her. I was able to talk to my roommates and work something out that was okay - not ideal but it helped.

This wouldn't help me at all.

Kid needs to talk to the RA and if RA doesn't respond, go up the ladder to whomever is responsible for the RAs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can order sleep/running headbands with headphones on Amazon for about $20. They are soft bands with flat blue tooth speakers inside. You can play quiet music or white noise on them from your phone and they can be pulled down over your eyes. My teens sleep with them every night, even at home.

Your kid can also stop being super considerate at 7:00 am when they wake up. Not overly loud necessarily, but not trying their hardest to be quiet. When the roommates complain, your kid might have some bargaining power.

Nice way to get brain cancer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. DC made a noise complaint to the RAs over the phone during last night’s “gathering” and DC reports that the RA got it to be silent within 5 minutes. DC will play dumb if they ask who made the complaint, since the suite door was propped open the whole time and DC whispered during the RA call.

I suppose that counts as DC handling it.

Yes. Have him continue to handle it. He can probably even get the RAs number and text if there's a problem to avoid tipping off the roommates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FART ON THE ROOMMATE'S BED

Underrated suggestion.

[Anonymous]

"This happens at every school. The behavior is not the schools fault but go to the housing office and make a stink. If that doesn't work go above their head."

I'm guessing you went to a big state school like this kid. This is not the way SLACs handle residential life. There isn't just one RA who basically wants you to never bother her and is just doing it to save on her housing costs at schools that actually run a residential education program. There would be multiple people in this house, along with a grad student/staff/faculty member who lived in an adjoining apartment at most of the better SLACs, along with a team of RAs who would hear the noise and deal with it. And they'd probably move these kids around instead of making this one stay with the loud suite mates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"This happens at every school. The behavior is not the schools fault but go to the housing office and make a stink. If that doesn't work go above their head."

I'm guessing you went to a big state school like this kid. This is not the way SLACs handle residential life. There isn't just one RA who basically wants you to never bother her and is just doing it to save on her housing costs at schools that actually run a residential education program. There would be multiple people in this house, along with a grad student/staff/faculty member who lived in an adjoining apartment at most of the better SLACs, along with a team of RAs who would hear the noise and deal with it. And they'd probably move these kids around instead of making this one stay with the loud suite mates.

NP. Think about what you wrote. Do you seriously believe that is good preparation for real life?