Options to get freshman dc out of a really bad roommate situation? Airbnb?

[Anonymous]

OP here. Forgot to mention that when DC first met their suitemates, DC said, in retrospect, they strongly implied that the bed DC is now in was vacated because the person who left couldn’t stand living there either.

[Anonymous]

OP, call the housing office or have him go in and make a huge stink. The RA or manager has no power to do anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, call the housing office or have him go in and make a huge stink. The RA or manager has no power to do anything.

Have him take videos of the noise and pictures of the mess too.

[Anonymous]

Yes, to escalation and filming the situation.The RA will try to work it out with the roommates, as if the roommates will listen. I hate to sound sexist (I am a female), but I would send my husband to make this room change happen. I think the school deals with a lot of mothers and don’t take them as seriously. You pay a lot of money for housing and deserve a livable situation.

[Anonymous]

This is one of the many reasons to live in a dorm one or two years at most. The routine gets old, even if you are social.

[Anonymous]

I was an RA in college. Room changes can be authorized all year - your DC hasn’t made enough of a stink. If he/she has someone who wants to swap, it’s easier. You can also call, but make sure you don’t call the dorm, call the actual housing dept so they can see that your kid has authorized you to call on their behalf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dc is counting down the days in his freshman dorm...I hear you. He says it's ok during the week but insane on the weekends...just as you are describing. His roommate actually left in January so he has a private. Otherwise I would absolutely get him a room somewhere if you can afford it. Your ds sounds exactly like mine. We just talked a few minutes ago about this.
And to the pp who said the RA's stepped in...not in our case either. Quiet hours only during exam week, they do crack down on alcohol at times, but ds said it always smells like pot.
Get him out for his sanity if that what it takes to get through.

What school? I ask because my DS sounds like yours and I’m trying to evaluate fit. This would not be a good fit but maybe this is every school…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are only like two more months of school. I'd tell him to suck it up. I'd get him an Air BnB for three weeks - the two weeks before finals and the week OF finals.

Great advice! Agreed. Learning to adapt and to advocate for oneself is a big part of college. Mommy swooping in to rescue is not a good look.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are only like two more months of school. I'd tell him to suck it up. I'd get him an Air BnB for three weeks - the two weeks before finals and the week OF finals.

Great advice! Agreed. Learning to adapt and to advocate for oneself is a big part of college. Mommy swooping in to rescue is not a good look.

NP. I mean what can the kid do besides turn the light off and try to sleep? In my experience RAs don’t have to abide by any confidentiality rules, which sucks if the child would prefer not to have to confront the people they live with. Nobody wants to be labeled a “tattletale.” What is the kid supposed to do, tell their roommates they can’t have friends over? If OP’s kid does move, it may be more of the same if the kid moves to another suite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was an RA in college. Room changes can be authorized all year - your DC hasn’t made enough of a stink. If he/she has someone who wants to swap, it’s easier. You can also call, but make sure you don’t call the dorm, call the actual housing dept so they can see that your kid has authorized you to call on their behalf.

I agree with this. OP, your quiet DC probably hasn’t really advocated for herself here and is unloading on you. I don’t think it’s uncommon for kids to call home with complaints. You have to push them to go back to housing and be assertive.

This is a teachable moment. Don’t swoop in and fix this YET.

[Anonymous]

You could see if you could find a physician willing to diagnose her with anxiety, and then go to the disabilities office at your university. He might request an accommodation such as a single room based on a new diagnosis of anxiety

[Anonymous]

I am the poster above and I also work at a university. I’m speaking from experience. If the university refuses to accommodated diagnosed disability, then there will be legal issues

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are only like two more months of school. I'd tell him to suck it up. I'd get him an Air BnB for three weeks - the two weeks before finals and the week OF finals.

This is what I would do too.

[Anonymous]

Wow, now I see why all freshmen are put in doubles in my son's school. He got along with his roommate, but they didn't remain good friends or anything. They both liked to party though. I can't imagine a bunch of freshmen in a 6 person suite...not a healthy way to ease into college life.

[Anonymous]

This needs to be up to him. He's not in danger, just inconvenienced. He could take a nap during the day and then stay up later. That may not be his preference, but it's part of group living. And if he really doesn't like it, he can go talk to the RA or housing. Housing may be less resistant if he finds someone willing to switch with him so they don't have to do anything but reassign the room cards.

He could also find a friend who will let him crash on their floor or couch. Truthfully, this is how most college kids would solve it.