Options to get freshman dc out of a really bad roommate situation? Airbnb?

[Anonymous]

Long story short, my freshman DC has horrible roommates. In a suite with 3-shared bedrooms. So there’s 6 kids in the suite. In the fall, DC was in a double in a different building, but their roommate dropped out and DC was told they had to move to the suite they’re in now. DC is quiet and nerdy and all the other kids in the suite are very social and have friends over until very late at night on both weekdays and weekends for drinking.

They are very loud every night and DC can’t fall asleep. DC can’t just lock their room door (although they shut the light off) and throw a sound machine on because it’s a shared room. DC says they’re all slobs. On weekends they host parties with until 3am; DC has no interest in going out or drinking and just wants to fall asleep. DC reports having bad headaches and struggling to focus most of the time due to lack of sleep. DC likes to go to bed early. The situation gets worse by the week apparently. DC requested a room change but it’s past the period where that’s allowed. DC is asking us to pay for them to go live either in a hotel or Airbnb somehow until May when school ends. They will have a single room in an apt next year.

WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Can you afford 2 months in an Air BnB?

[Anonymous]

I would have him go to the doctor, get a note from the doctor asking for a room change, and see if that works. If not, as a parent I'd make a stink. Have him take pictures of the condition.

[Anonymous]

try talking with housing again.

[Anonymous]

There are only like two more months of school. I'd tell him to suck it up. I'd get him an Air BnB for three weeks - the two weeks before finals and the week OF finals.

[Anonymous]

Where's the RA during all of this?

All of my college kids have said thing same thing: loud parties in dorms never last more than 10 minutes before being busted by the RA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are only like two more months of school. I'd tell him to suck it up. I'd get him an Air BnB for three weeks - the two weeks before finals and the week OF finals.

OP here. This is probably the best solution.

[Anonymous]

OP again. DC has called the RAs on other suites being loud, but the rooms are such that you can only hear from within them and can’t hear from the hallways. The RA walked the halls looking for where the loud noise was coming from in one instance and said they couldn’t hear anything.

[Anonymous]

My dc is counting down the days in his freshman dorm...I hear you. He says it's ok during the week but insane on the weekends...just as you are describing. His roommate actually left in January so he has a private. Otherwise I would absolutely get him a room somewhere if you can afford it. Your ds sounds exactly like mine. We just talked a few minutes ago about this.
And to the pp who said the RA's stepped in...not in our case either. Quiet hours only during exam week, they do crack down on alcohol at times, but ds said it always smells like pot.
Get him out for his sanity if that what it takes to get through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where's the RA during all of this?

All of my college kids have said thing same thing: loud parties in dorms never last more than 10 minutes before being busted by the RA.

Eh. I went to a school where the RAs weren’t like that. Some of them would drink and do drugs with their freshman.

Op, try to talk to housing. I had terrible housing the first two years of sleeping. First year I had to live with smokers (pot and cigarettes) and I have asthma. The school did nothing despite me complaining about the illegal drug use. I would frequently go sleep in the infirmary. It was quiet and smoke free. Of course, during covid, that may not be an option not a good idea.

Second year I lived next to a guy who blared his music even in the middle of the night. It sucked. I could not sleep.

This really affected my sleep, health, and ability to enjoy myself. It was awful.

I think he should try to switch rooms with housing. I think you should consider calling as well.

If that doesn’t work, maybe he could try to find a place to rent off campus with other students. Maybe a group that had a roommate leave for study abroad. That way he’s still part of campus life.

For next year, see if he can live in a dorm that is designated as a quiet hall or quiet dorm.

[Anonymous]

Get ear plugs and a good eye mask. I lived through this one semester. DC will learn to handle these situations on her own as she should. Don’t rescue her. I was able to talk to my roommates and work something out that was okay - not ideal but it helped.

[Anonymous]

There are Resident Assistants, RAs who handle these problems. They are overseen by Resident Hall Directors. It definitely helps, if by any chance, your student can bring a solution. She should ask the partiers IF they know of anyone who they'd like to have liive there. Switch. One of their partier-friends may be stuck and miserable with their current quiet roommate.

This is a networking challenge. Life skills 101

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are Resident Assistants, RAs who handle these problems. They are overseen by Resident Hall Directors. It definitely helps, if by any chance, your student can bring a solution. She should ask the partiers IF they know of anyone who they'd like to have liive there. Switch. One of their partier-friends may be stuck and miserable with their current quiet roommate.

This is a networking challenge. Life skills 101

OP here, as I stated they aren’t authorizing room changes at this time. DC tried, but it was too late. The buildings and suites are card-operated (separate cards) so you wouldn’t be able to do an “informal” room change.

The eye mask suggestion is a good one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:try talking with housing again.

+1 Your DC has nothing to lose from asking again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where's the RA during all of this?

All of my college kids have said thing same thing: loud parties in dorms never last more than 10 minutes before being busted by the RA.

Eh. I went to a school where the RAs weren’t like that. Some of them would drink and do drugs with their freshman.

Op, try to talk to housing. I had terrible housing the first two years of sleeping. First year I had to live with smokers (pot and cigarettes) and I have asthma. The school did nothing despite me complaining about the illegal drug use. I would frequently go sleep in the infirmary. It was quiet and smoke free. Of course, during covid, that may not be an option not a good idea.

Second year I lived next to a guy who blared his music even in the middle of the night. It sucked. I could not sleep.

This really affected my sleep, health, and ability to enjoy myself. It was awful.

I think he should try to switch rooms with housing. I think you should consider calling as well.

If that doesn’t work, maybe he could try to find a place to rent off campus with other students. Maybe a group that had a roommate leave for study abroad. That way he’s still part of campus life.

For next year, see if he can live in a dorm that is designated as a quiet hall or quiet dorm.

All this. And what so many others said.

I hope your DC gets relief soon. So glad he is talking to you about this.