Primping for DH- is this abnormal??

[Anonymous]

I used to freshen up after work even when I was single. I work part-time now and do the same and I absolutely think DH appreciates it. He also freshens up after work unless it's going to be a slog of a night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s weird. Your DH doesn’t freshen up for you.

Mine does. I think it's sad when partners don't put in a little effort.

I think it’s sad when a woman acts like she has to be super hot in provocative clothing because she stays at home. Get a job and put on some sexy heels. Sorry, but a cliche deserves one in response.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s weird. Your DH doesn’t freshen up for you.

Mine does. I think it's sad when partners don't put in a little effort.

I think it’s sad when a woman acts like she has to be super hot in provocative clothing because she stays at home. Get a job and put on some sexy heels. Sorry, but a cliche deserves one in response.

How do you go from grooming yourself to "acting like you have to be super hot because you don't work"?

[Anonymous]

I couldn't get past the part where you're wearing makeup as a SAHM during a pandemic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, you sound really bored and that’s pretty normal with three really young kids at home. When they’re older you’ll be leaving more often and likely will get dressed for the day more often. But yeah, I think this is a little weird, I’m at home so I have to be hot for my provider. If you like it, who cares, but it’s not exactly what I’m going for or what I want for my daughter. I’m sure you will say oh I had some big career before etc etc, but that’s not even what I’m talking about. You’re just reducing it to I’m home so I have to be hot in my shorts. You don’t. I get sexy because I like to. Not because my husband is some big money earner. So think more about your rationale than the act itself, because I think that’s the issue.

OP here- no I was never a top earning professional but I guess I do get a little bored and I do sometimes feel just kind of unkept and “momish” during the day. I’m nursing and cleaning up messes all day so, for me, getting spruced up before DH comes home is for both of us. I have to say I like the feeling when he checks me out and it makes me feel pretty and desirable in a way I obviously don’t when I’m around my kids all day. I don’t feel I owe it to my husband to look hot or anything but it does make me feel more confident. I also really enjoy getting dressed up for date nights so it’s a bit like bringing a tiny bit of that energy into my daily life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I couldn't get past the part where you're wearing makeup as a SAHM during a pandemic.

NP. I wear makeup daily because I have dark circles and blotchy skin. So if I put on light foundation, it seems weird to not also put on a little eye makeup. Most people would think I rarely wear makeup because I aim for the "no makeup" look, but I have worn it, for myself, for close to 30 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, you sound really bored and that’s pretty normal with three really young kids at home. When they’re older you’ll be leaving more often and likely will get dressed for the day more often. But yeah, I think this is a little weird, I’m at home so I have to be hot for my provider. If you like it, who cares, but it’s not exactly what I’m going for or what I want for my daughter. I’m sure you will say oh I had some big career before etc etc, but that’s not even what I’m talking about. You’re just reducing it to I’m home so I have to be hot in my shorts. You don’t. I get sexy because I like to. Not because my husband is some big money earner. So think more about your rationale than the act itself, because I think that’s the issue.

OP here- no I was never a top earning professional but I guess I do get a little bored and I do sometimes feel just kind of unkept and “momish” during the day. I’m nursing and cleaning up messes all day so, for me, getting spruced up before DH comes home is for both of us. I have to say I like the feeling when he checks me out and it makes me feel pretty and desirable in a way I obviously don’t when I’m around my kids all day. I don’t feel I owe it to my husband to look hot or anything but it does make me feel more confident. I also really enjoy getting dressed up for date nights so it’s a bit like bringing a tiny bit of that energy into my daily life.

You don't say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s weird. Your DH doesn’t freshen up for you.

Mine does. I think it's sad when partners don't put in a little effort.

I think it’s sad when a woman acts like she has to be super hot in provocative clothing because she stays at home. Get a job and put on some sexy heels. Sorry, but a cliche deserves one in response.

How do you go from grooming yourself to "acting like you have to be super hot because you don't work"?

Because OP said NUMEROUS times that she was a SAHM and she did this when her husband comes home from work so that he will think she is a sexy SAHM because it makes her feel confident. Not just to be cute at the end of the day. It makes it feel icky. OP, herself, equates being sexy with feeling good about herself. I personally would be looking for some other kinds of validation.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know, I don’t need to feel pretty and desirable every day because I’m getting validation from other things, but I still wear makeup and dress up. I don’t need my husband to “check me out,” though, in order to know I’m cute and desirable. Everyone is different, I know, but maybe try to need that less?

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's weird. I put on a little makeup in the morning even if we're not going anywhere. If I was a SAHM, maybe I would change into sexier clothes before DH came home. When else would I wear them in the pandemic anyway, haha

[Anonymous]

My DH probably wishes I did this. Look, it's a bit of a throwback, but if you enjoy it, so what? It probably helps your marriage and it is not causing you any harm, so that's a win-win.

[Anonymous]

I'm lucky if I've showered by the time he gets home. DGAF. Married 23 years and somehow we've survived. But I'm not a 1950s housewife. I also don't have a home cooked meal every day. Some days he's lucky if he gets leftovers.

[Anonymous]

This is very abnormal and disturbing. Do you want to set the example for your children that women only deserve to be validated if they're pretty? Or human beings in general.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is very abnormal and disturbing. Do you want to set the example for your children that women only deserve to be validated if they're pretty? Or human beings in general.

Wow. Just wow.

What about the guys on this thread that freshen before seeing their wives? What example are they showing their sons?

[Anonymous]

The only people saying this is normal are the people in sexless marriages who couldn't look attractive even if they tried; they gave up far too long ago.

It's a sign of a healthy marriage to want to be desirable to your spouse. Man or Woman