Primping for DH- is this abnormal??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are the kids? I do think it’s weird that you get skimpy presumably before dinner. Do you have girls?

OP here- I think people may be getting the wrong impression from what I wrote initially. I like to change into comfortable but flattering loungewear at the end of the day. I would not characterize what I’m wearing as skimpy.. What I wear is similar to what women might wear to a yoga class or workout. Like another poster said, I don’t think leggings and a longline bra top is inappropriate to wear at home, personally.

Kids are 4, 2, and 6 months. I don’t think they are offended by wearing leggings as pants at home.

You are on dcum, OP. People here are scandalized by leggings. I also choose clothing that is perfectly appropriate but that DH might find sexy. Fine if you want to wear a shapeless sack but your kids won’t be scarred by you changing out of sweatpants and an oversized t shirt once in a while.

Yes the people here would not dress up for a first date or a job interview. They would blame the patriarchy but really it’s on them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. Just to be clear, I do this and didn’t think it was odd until my friends called me out saying it was weird. I absolutely do not think every woman should be doing this or that a woman can’t be sexy and attractive without primping.

And like I asked you way back on page 1 when I thought you actually may be a real poster and not an incel trying to stir up shit if you like doing it who the hell cares if anyone thinks it's weird?

If we all told you it was weird, would you stop doing it?

I am really, really not an incel. This truly was just a thread asking a question out of curiosity; is what I’m doing fairly normal or uncommon. It seems like it’s somewhat uncommon, although a few posters do also get ready to see other adults, including their DH. I can see how this could turn into a discussion on the unrealistic expectations men have of women (esp given all of the toxic messaging women get about “snapping back” after pregnancy and “letting themselves go”) but it was not my intention to do this at all. My DH has seen me at my physical best and worst and everything in between and has always loved and doted on me. Personally, I get ready for him because, as a sahm with young kids, it makes me feel sexy and put together after a long day of being a tired mom. I’m sure plenty of women wouldn’t want to do this and that’s completely up to them to do what makes them happy.

I get this, esp during the pandemic. Sometimes I wear heels to the grocery store because I need to practice walking in them now that I am not wearing them to the office, etc. Other women give me dirty looks, though. I am just doing it for my own fun.

Lol. I would bet money that no other woman is actually giving you a dirty look for wearing heels at the store. You do you sister!

Op, I think this is a bit quaint but also kind of nice. It’s sounds like you take about 10 minutes to do all this which really doesn’t seem like that much effort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it's sweet, OP! As long as this is something you do because you want to and not because you feel like your DH requires it, why not?
I've been married 20 years and I sometimes do this if I'm home before DH. Keep it hot, OP!

+1

[Anonymous]

Look at the couple men who have posted that they wish their wives would do it. I think it is nice to show a little effort.

I am no longer married, but even the guys I am dating will ask if blew out my hair, or wearing special lingerie, for them. I always say yes, even if it's not true. I always notice if they freshly showered/shaved/put on a nicer shirt, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve never done this and I’ve been with dh for 20 years.

Reminds me of one of the first episodes of the Marvelous Mrs Maisel where she wakes up early to “put on her face” before her husband wakes up.

Dh rolled his eyes abouy that and said it was SO unbelievable but to me it was a very real scene.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are the kids? I do think it’s weird that you get skimpy presumably before dinner. Do you have girls?

OP here- I think people may be getting the wrong impression from what I wrote initially. I like to change into comfortable but flattering loungewear at the end of the day. I would not characterize what I’m wearing as skimpy.. What I wear is similar to what women might wear to a yoga class or workout. Like another poster said, I don’t think leggings and a longline bra top is inappropriate to wear at home, personally.

Kids are 4, 2, and 6 months. I don’t think they are offended by wearing leggings as pants at home.

You are on dcum, OP. People here are scandalized by leggings. I also choose clothing that is perfectly appropriate but that DH might find sexy. Fine if you want to wear a shapeless sack but your kids won’t be scarred by you changing out of sweatpants and an oversized t shirt once in a while.

Yes the people here would not dress up for a first date or a job interview. They would blame the patriarchy but really it’s on them.

OP's new version - "I have ratty loungewear that I wear with the kids and flattering loungewear that I put on before DH gets home" is a lot more reasonable than the OP, where she does her hair, makeup, and puts on short shorts and a crop top or deep V-neck to greet him at the door. What she's saying now is a slightly vain woman who wants to keep the sexy SAHM illusion up; what she said in the OP was so porny and ridiculous that a dozen people assumed she was a man working on a screenplay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it's nice and a good thing for your relationship, and not at all over the top! I don't do it but good idea, maybe I'll start .

Ignore the haters... they probably think shaving your legs or taking showers regularly is weird too.

You win the awards for dumbest reply and most lacking in logic for the day

What? I thought a sweet reply!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old are the kids? I do think it’s weird that you get skimpy presumably before dinner. Do you have girls?

OP here- I think people may be getting the wrong impression from what I wrote initially. I like to change into comfortable but flattering loungewear at the end of the day. I would not characterize what I’m wearing as skimpy.. What I wear is similar to what women might wear to a yoga class or workout. Like another poster said, I don’t think leggings and a longline bra top is inappropriate to wear at home, personally.

Kids are 4, 2, and 6 months. I don’t think they are offended by wearing leggings as pants at home.

You are on dcum, OP. People here are scandalized by leggings. I also choose clothing that is perfectly appropriate but that DH might find sexy. Fine if you want to wear a shapeless sack but your kids won’t be scarred by you changing out of sweatpants and an oversized t shirt once in a while.

Yes the people here would not dress up for a first date or a job interview. They would blame the patriarchy but really it’s on them.

OP's new version - "I have ratty loungewear that I wear with the kids and flattering loungewear that I put on before DH gets home" is a lot more reasonable than the OP, where she does her hair, makeup, and puts on short shorts and a crop top or deep V-neck to greet him at the door. What she's saying now is a slightly vain woman who wants to keep the sexy SAHM illusion up; what she said in the OP was so porny and ridiculous that a dozen people assumed she was a man working on a screenplay.

OP here. I do refresh makeup and brush my hair (this usually takes as little as 2min) and change into something comfortable but figure flattering. I updated the clothing bit with more details because it sounded like people were picturing my clothing as a negligee or bootie shorts and a bra. This is never what I intended to communicate. In listing shorts, v neck, cropped tank etc I meant that I usually wear one of these pieces: ie a cropped top with high waisted leggings or short shorts that show off leg (not butt) with a tshirt.

I guess I do, in part, like to look like a sexy sahm to my DH. It makes me feel confident and sexually appealing.

[Anonymous]

God forbid a woman shows a little cleavage at home with her DH 🙄

[Anonymous]

As a man, I don’t really see the point of this. I would think it was a little weird if I noticed my wife had gotten ready for me to come home. I think most confident women wouldn’t feel the need to do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a man, I don’t really see the point of this. I would think it was a little weird if I noticed my wife had gotten ready for me to come home. I think most confident women wouldn’t feel the need to do this.

Yeah right “as a man”. Sure.

[Anonymous]

I thought the whole short shorts and low cut shirt thing was super weird, tbh. It just sounds insecure and desperate. Refreshing, sure. But I don’t need my husbands constant validation nor do I think my worth or relationship or self esteem turns on my husband seeing me as hot, no matter what I do. I do think it sounds a bit like you’re compensating. I’m cute for myself and my day. I don’t try to be hottt for the male gaze and I find your need to do so kind of cringe. I wouldn’t teach my daughter that and I think it’s lame. I guess I also used to get dressed up for my job. But no short shorts or low cut tops were involved, lol.

[Anonymous]

Op, you sound really bored and that’s pretty normal with three really young kids at home. When they’re older you’ll be leaving more often and likely will get dressed for the day more often. But yeah, I think this is a little weird, I’m at home so I have to be hot for my provider. If you like it, who cares, but it’s not exactly what I’m going for or what I want for my daughter. I’m sure you will say oh I had some big career before etc etc, but that’s not even what I’m talking about. You’re just reducing it to I’m home so I have to be hot in my shorts. You don’t. I get sexy because I like to. Not because my husband is some big money earner. So think more about your rationale than the act itself, because I think that’s the issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a sahm. I obviously get ready in the morning (simple hair, light makeup, casual clothes) but I also do a little refresh before DH comes home. Usually this is just brushing hair, touching up makeup and maybe changing into something a little more comfortable but more revealing than my daytime outfit (short shorts, cropped tank, low cut v neck etc). I do not feel any pressure or expectations from DH regarding any of this.

Anyway, I was talking to a few friends and it was brought up that I did this. They pressed for details and thought the whole thing was totally weird and silly, especially considering that DH sees me au natural at night and in the morning. I didn’t think this was a strange thing to do but my friends completely roasted me. What do you think dcum? Do you do this? Is this strange?

Do you take his briefcase and hang up his hat for him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s weird. Your DH doesn’t freshen up for you.

Mine does. I think it's sad when partners don't put in a little effort.