When did your sex drive plummet?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Early 50s with menopause plus going on an SSRI for depression.

SSRIs will generally kill libido and destroy your sex life; warn your spouse / partner before going on SSRIs.

Doctors do a terrible job of educating patients of this nearly universal side effect of SSRIs.

Gosh. Didn’t see it in the moment but in hindsight the SSRIs my partner was taking were probably a huge contributing factor to the issues that led to us breaking up.

[Anonymous]

This thread is freaking me out. I’m on a business trip and wife just sent me a video. So scared like is next year the year it stops? Or is dcum full of losers and weirdos? I hope the latter but I am scared

[Anonymous]

35 and still going strong. It actually increased after DS was born, which I wasn't expecting. Dh could touch my hand while we were changing a poop covered baby and I would be ready to jump him.

[Anonymous]

27. First kid was born, started an ssri for ppd. Never came back.

[Anonymous]

Just turned 40. Recently stopped waking up solid as granite as frequently which I find concerning, but remaining as motivated as I was 5-10 years ago. I think we need to be honest about the fact that sleeping with the same person for more than a decade can get a bit less exciting and inspiring no matter how attractive someone remains.

[Anonymous]

About 45. Child still not potty trained and peri menopausal. Life was hellish. 47 now and I find myself thinking about sex more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is freaking me out. I’m on a business trip and wife just sent me a video. So scared like is next year the year it stops? Or is dcum full of losers and weirdos? I hope the latter but I am scared

How old are you? If you are 40s and on first marriage then you are in the lucky minority. If you are 30s and married less than 10 years, enjoy it while it lasts. Most couples are down to duty sex once a week by mid 40s, which is why the divorces really start in middle school

[Anonymous]

When my ex husband became a selfish, fat, drunk.

45 and horny as hell- I’ve had amazing sex since my divorce (with myself and others )

[Anonymous]

I've never had much of a sex drive. I've gone years at a time without. Occasionally, I'll go through a horny period and have lots of sex for a month or two.
I haven't had sex since December 2019. Don't miss it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dropped with a newborn but plummeted after menopause

I am the exact opposite: Drive has soared after menopause.

Evidence of how this is completely individual and therefore unpredictable (with exceptions, like use of SSRIs or other meds affecting libido). So anyone reading this thread should not read too much into it as some sort of survey applicable to them personally....

[Anonymous]

Definitely after having kids. Breastfeeding killed any thoughts of my breasts as erotic objects. I think about sex occasionally but with my husband, never if we are being honest

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is freaking me out. I’m on a business trip and wife just sent me a video. So scared like is next year the year it stops? Or is dcum full of losers and weirdos? I hope the latter but I am scared

Post the video and then I'll be able to tell you which year her sex drive will plummet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll let you know when it happens.

44yo male.

I'll let you know, too.

63 yo male

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is freaking me out. I’m on a business trip and wife just sent me a video. So scared like is next year the year it stops? Or is dcum full of losers and weirdos? I hope the latter but I am scared

How old are you? If you are 40s and on first marriage then you are in the lucky minority. If you are 30s and married less than 10 years, enjoy it while it lasts. Most couples are down to duty sex once a week by mid 40s, which is why the divorces really start in middle school[/quote

DP. Classic DCUM! "Most couples" -- yes, this PP has done extensive and scientifically sound research, so is entitled to pontificate about what "most" couples experience. Such a good example of projecting one's own problems onto everyone else in the world.

To the freaked out PP above, ignore this kind of "here is what most couples experience" nonsense. This stuff is completely individual. Your wife is not on some kind of predictable timer set to go off and end your sex life at a specific moment. Good grief.

If you want her libido to stay high, well, practice, practice, practice. Tell her what you want and ask what SHE wants. Keep it fresh and keep it between you two. And saying you're 'freaked out" and "scared" is...kind of dramatic, considering she just sent you a video (we all are assuming you mean a sex video to keep you happy while you're away--?). If you actually communicate with her about sex you'll find it's not some kind of automatic given that her sex drive will just "plummet" at some point. Yes, hormones change, kids change the ability to have sex whenever/wherever, life intrudes, etc. If you stay awake to all that you can work through it. Your sex life is something you have to work on actively, not just enjoy until it suddenly ends and it's your wife's fault....

Don't buy into all the dire warnings here from people who claim they know what "most couples" are or aren't doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dropped with a newborn but plummeted after menopause

I am the exact opposite: Drive has soared after menopause.

Evidence of how this is completely individual and therefore unpredictable (with exceptions, like use of SSRIs or other meds affecting libido). So anyone reading this thread should not read too much into it as some sort of survey applicable to them personally....

Statistically some trends are more likely than others (kids & menopause will usually be correlated with a drop in libido rather than the reverse), but yes, individual cases can and do vary.