Issues with his exwife and how he handles her

[Anonymous]

Here's the thing - your two complaints in your post, that she's inflexible about the schedule, and that he's not willing to fight with her, both sound like GOOD things. You can plan around a predictable schedule. Fighting with your ex when there are kids involved is almost never a good idea.

So in order to convince me that she's the problem, and not you, you're going to have to provide more evidence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone brings negatives into a relationship (the details don’t matter). The issue is whether you get enough from the relationship for it to be worth it to you.

OK. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's the thing - your two complaints in your post, that she's inflexible about the schedule, and that he's not willing to fight with her, both sound like GOOD things. You can plan around a predictable schedule. Fighting with your ex when there are kids involved is almost never a good idea.

So in order to convince me that she's the problem, and not you, you're going to have to provide more evidence.

Well I did in one post. And she is flexible when it suits her. He agrees to her changes. She never reciprocates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depending on how he treated her during the marriage/divorce, her behavior might be understandable.

Men who have a "crazy" ex are sometimes the reason she's crazy.

And sometimes the crazy is the reason she is an ex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here's the thing - your two complaints in your post, that she's inflexible about the schedule, and that he's not willing to fight with her, both sound like GOOD things. You can plan around a predictable schedule. Fighting with your ex when there are kids involved is almost never a good idea.

So in order to convince me that she's the problem, and not you, you're going to have to provide more evidence.

Well I did in one post. And she is flexible when it suits her. He agrees to her changes. She never reciprocates.

He wants it to be drama free for his kids. You have only been dating for 2 years, he does not want to draw hard lines, or does not feel the need to do so over trivial things like summer plans. You have to make plans with your own kids and if him and his kids can make it great. There are 6 teens involved, it will be rough for several years, plus i bet most of them don't want to play Brady Bunch with you.

[Anonymous]

Yeah your kids don’t want him or his kids with you. His kids probably don’t want you and your kids with him. Let it goooo

[Anonymous]

What’s the point in fighting with her? Where is that going to get you? It will make it worse for everyone. He knows her best.

[Anonymous]

I'm struggling to find empathy for you as 6 teens from two families is my version of hell.

I'm divorced (F) and have three kids, they don't meet the men I date because I will not blend families. It sounds like you are trying to blend families, with multiple kids on the cusp of adulthood, which sounds like a hot mess. If some inflexibility on the ex wifes part is the worst you are dealing with, I'd say you are doing great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here's the thing - your two complaints in your post, that she's inflexible about the schedule, and that he's not willing to fight with her, both sound like GOOD things. You can plan around a predictable schedule. Fighting with your ex when there are kids involved is almost never a good idea.

So in order to convince me that she's the problem, and not you, you're going to have to provide more evidence.

While “fighting” isn’t always a good idea, I agree with OP that it’s long overdue for her boyfriend to put his ex in her place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm struggling to find empathy for you as 6 teens from two families is my version of hell.

I'm divorced (F) and have three kids, they don't meet the men I date because I will not blend families. It sounds like you are trying to blend families, with multiple kids on the cusp of adulthood, which sounds like a hot mess. If some inflexibility on the ex wifes part is the worst you are dealing with, I'd say you are doing great.

OMG. That was my first thought too. WHHHHYYYYY???? Just wait a few years. This blended family crap with kids at those ages is ridiculous. Let them live out their teen years without having to blend with these other teens. Yuck

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How young is their youngest child? After the youngest turns 18, it's done.

This, if he's good to you, his kids and your kids tuff it out and just work around her knowing how she is. The kids will be 18 soon enough. We jumped for joy when the youngest turned 18 and the ex could no longer control, bully and make demands. You'll be at the end of the road soon enough where she can no longer dictate things. It feels like a long time off for the youngest but it will happen.

[Anonymous]

I don’t really understand this. Doesn’t he/she have a court appointed visitation schedule? Stick with making plans during the time you are scheduled to have the kids. Don’t deviate. There is no need to ask or invoke her in any planning if you stick with the dates/times that are appointed to you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depending on how he treated her during the marriage/divorce, her behavior might be understandable.

Men who have a "crazy" ex are sometimes the reason she's crazy.

And sometimes the crazy is the reason she is an ex

Or, maybe she is the issue. Don't judge him by his ex. My husband's ex is horrible to him and others. His friends all warned me and what they said was an understatement (and they confirmed some pretty rough stuff). He's been a great husband and father.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm struggling to find empathy for you as 6 teens from two families is my version of hell.

I'm divorced (F) and have three kids, they don't meet the men I date because I will not blend families. It sounds like you are trying to blend families, with multiple kids on the cusp of adulthood, which sounds like a hot mess. If some inflexibility on the ex wifes part is the worst you are dealing with, I'd say you are doing great.

OMG. That was my first thought too. WHHHHYYYYY???? Just wait a few years. This blended family crap with kids at those ages is ridiculous. Let them live out their teen years without having to blend with these other teens. Yuck

NP +1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depending on how he treated her during the marriage/divorce, her behavior might be understandable.

Men who have a "crazy" ex are sometimes the reason she's crazy.

And sometimes the crazy is the reason she is an ex

Or, maybe she is the issue. Don't judge him by his ex. My husband's ex is horrible to him and others. His friends all warned me and what they said was an understatement (and they confirmed some pretty rough stuff). He's been a great husband and father.

Women always says this about their partner’s ex. Your partner did pick this person as a spouse and made children with them so they couldn’t be that bad