If you were married for a long time but got divorced how is dating life working out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Female
Married 18 years/ divorced for three years, we split four years ago but had to wait a year
I thought dating would be really, really hard since I’m an average looking woman who could lose a few pounds (and I’m friends with several divorced women who are much more physically attractive than me that have struggled with dating).
I had the best results with Bumble- I’ve been with my current boyfriend over two years. I honestly didn’t have any problems meeting interesting people. It was way better than I expected.

+1 This was my experience, too!

F
Married 17 years
Started dating when we separated
Didn’t use any apps. Met plenty of interesting men I was attracted to in daily life. Most within 5-10 years of my age.
Remarried one of those guys I met. He’s 6 years older. FWIW I’m also a mom to three kids living in the home. Reading these boards when I was married had me thinking no one my age would want to date me if I was divorced. That wasn’t my experience. DH doesn’t even have his own kids and I’m a very average looking middle aged woman.

Married female here, so I don't know what the dating scene looks like. But I will say that the men on these boards isn't representative of most men. The type of guys who come to a mommy message board (yes, I know, now it includes dads too) aren't common. A lot of them seem very bitter against women. Their wives stopped sleeping with them, and now they feel they're owed the right to date tons of women and get non-committed sex. I imagine the real life dating scene for middle aged+ women is much better than they would have you believe here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:anyone who meets anyone on an app and calls it dating is being played. people will invest many hours on the apps fishing for people to..... it often appears like they are interested but in the end it is all about sex.

Any guy on their has a stable of 5-10 women at a time he is juggling.

I see a fair number of women ( 45-55) who appear to serial date ie they disappear and reappear after a few months. Don’t seem to be able or want seal the deal for longer term.

[Anonymous]

Female with one teen divorced after 17 years at 49. No problem finding dates. Some weirdos of course. One person dated 7 months, he moved to Midwest. Now been with amazing man 5 years younger for year😀. Long as you know your intentions, set boundaries and have fun you will be fine. Be yourself and don’t rush things.

[Anonymous]

Man, mid-50s. Was married for 25 years.

Apps: Bumble

Remember the saying, "the odds are good but the goods are odd?" That applies many to the women I have met. A few have been terrific, but there are a lot of damaged people out there. Perhaps I attract damaged women because I am kind.

I will say I have had sex with a lot more women in my 50s than I ever did when I was in my 20s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Female
Married 18 years/ divorced for three years, we split four years ago but had to wait a year
I thought dating would be really, really hard since I’m an average looking woman who could lose a few pounds (and I’m friends with several divorced women who are much more physically attractive than me that have struggled with dating).
I had the best results with Bumble- I’ve been with my current boyfriend over two years. I honestly didn’t have any problems meeting interesting people. It was way better than I expected.

+1 This was my experience, too!

F
Married 17 years
Started dating when we separated
Didn’t use any apps. Met plenty of interesting men I was attracted to in daily life. Most within 5-10 years of my age.
Remarried one of those guys I met. He’s 6 years older. FWIW I’m also a mom to three kids living in the home. Reading these boards when I was married had me thinking no one my age would want to date me if I was divorced. That wasn’t my experience. DH doesn’t even have his own kids and I’m a very average looking middle aged woman.

How and where did you meet the men if you don’t mind sharing? I’m always amazed at people who actually meet in real life!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Female
Married 18 years/ divorced for three years, we split four years ago but had to wait a year
I thought dating would be really, really hard since I’m an average looking woman who could lose a few pounds (and I’m friends with several divorced women who are much more physically attractive than me that have struggled with dating).
I had the best results with Bumble- I’ve been with my current boyfriend over two years. I honestly didn’t have any problems meeting interesting people. It was way better than I expected.

+1 This was my experience, too!

F
Married 17 years
Started dating when we separated
Didn’t use any apps. Met plenty of interesting men I was attracted to in daily life. Most within 5-10 years of my age.
Remarried one of those guys I met. He’s 6 years older. FWIW I’m also a mom to three kids living in the home. Reading these boards when I was married had me thinking no one my age would want to date me if I was divorced. That wasn’t my experience. DH doesn’t even have his own kids and I’m a very average looking middle aged woman.

How and where did you meet the men if you don’t mind sharing? I’m always amazed at people who actually meet in real life!

I guarantee she doesn’t live in DC or close suburbs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:M 62

Married 27 years

I was newly retired at the time of my divorce and I dreaded the idea of dating. But I had a very successful career and I've stayed in shape so it's been better than fine. Early on I was contacted by a bunch of my ex's single friends which surprised me and then I tried Bumble and a couple of other apps and the likes I got were a big surprise with ages ranging from 40 to 65+. It took awhile for me to realize that profiles and pictures are "rough approximations" so I got a lot better on my screening. I'm not yet ready for a LTR which seems to be fine with many of the women so it's been very enjoyable.

That's messed up!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Female
Married 18 years/ divorced for three years, we split four years ago but had to wait a year
I thought dating would be really, really hard since I’m an average looking woman who could lose a few pounds (and I’m friends with several divorced women who are much more physically attractive than me that have struggled with dating).
I had the best results with Bumble- I’ve been with my current boyfriend over two years. I honestly didn’t have any problems meeting interesting people. It was way better than I expected.

+1 This was my experience, too!

F
Married 17 years
Started dating when we separated
Didn’t use any apps. Met plenty of interesting men I was attracted to in daily life. Most within 5-10 years of my age.
Remarried one of those guys I met. He’s 6 years older. FWIW I’m also a mom to three kids living in the home. Reading these boards when I was married had me thinking no one my age would want to date me if I was divorced. That wasn’t my experience. DH doesn’t even have his own kids and I’m a very average looking middle aged woman.

How and where did you meet the men if you don’t mind sharing? I’m always amazed at people who actually meet in real life!

Work, traveling for work, gym, and restaurants. I was going to join a group that participates in an activity that I enjoy but I was already with someone before I could join. I live in a close-in suburb of DC.

[Anonymous]

Female
Married 17, divorced 4
Dating has been....wild. insane. Fun. Freeing. Im in my early 40s, and I thought dating would be terrifying and difficult. Last time I was out there was pre-cell phones! In reality, it has been hilarious and fun. Some seriously crazy people out there, and there was a bit of a learning curve for me (for example, Netflix and chill does not mean binge watch a show and relax alone on your sofa). Met people I never would have otherwise come across in life. I've been having the best sex of my life.

The most surprising thing to me has been how difficult it is to find someone who just wants to date...more than a fling but also less than marriage. Many men will say they want this, but within a few months are talking about marriage. Sorry guys, I did that and had a good run. I will commit to whoever I'm in love with, but marriage is not in the cards again for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Female
Married 17, divorced 4
Dating has been....wild. insane. Fun. Freeing. Im in my early 40s, and I thought dating would be terrifying and difficult. Last time I was out there was pre-cell phones! In reality, it has been hilarious and fun. Some seriously crazy people out there, and there was a bit of a learning curve for me (for example, Netflix and chill does not mean binge watch a show and relax alone on your sofa). Met people I never would have otherwise come across in life. I've been having the best sex of my life.

The most surprising thing to me has been how difficult it is to find someone who just wants to date...more than a fling but also less than marriage. Many men will say they want this, but within a few months are talking about marriage. Sorry guys, I did that and had a good run. I will commit to whoever I'm in love with, but marriage is not in the cards again for me.

I’ll just +1 to this. I’ve had a blast. Pretty 40s divorced mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Female
Married 17, divorced 4
Dating has been....wild. insane. Fun. Freeing. Im in my early 40s, and I thought dating would be terrifying and difficult. Last time I was out there was pre-cell phones! In reality, it has been hilarious and fun. Some seriously crazy people out there, and there was a bit of a learning curve for me (for example, Netflix and chill does not mean binge watch a show and relax alone on your sofa). Met people I never would have otherwise come across in life. I've been having the best sex of my life.

The most surprising thing to me has been how difficult it is to find someone who just wants to date...more than a fling but also less than marriage. Many men will say they want this, but within a few months are talking about marriage. Sorry guys, I did that and had a good run. I will commit to whoever I'm in love with, but marriage is not in the cards again for me.

What does Netflix and chill mean, then? So curious.

[Anonymous]

Got divorced at 40 with young kids after a 20yrs marriage. My first relationship was more of a fwb type thing and in the end it didnt work out because one got feelings and the other was seeing others (it sucked). Now i've been with the same man for about 4years and it is wonderful. The difficult part is we both have kids and aren't ready to jump into a blended family thing.
One thing I learned is that the qualities i found attractive in my late teens are definitely not the same ones I want now. I know that sounds obvious but many of my 40s female friends who are dating hold on to those ideals and have no luck.

[Anonymous]

After a long marriage, who the h@ll wants to date again? Maybe switch teams.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Got divorced at 40 with young kids after a 20yrs marriage. My first relationship was more of a fwb type thing and in the end it didnt work out because one got feelings and the other was seeing others (it sucked). Now i've been with the same man for about 4years and it is wonderful. The difficult part is we both have kids and aren't ready to jump into a blended family thing.
One thing I learned is that the qualities i found attractive in my late teens are definitely not the same ones I want now. I know that sounds obvious but many of my 40s female friends who are dating hold on to those ideals and have no luck.

Guy - how do you negotiate that in terms of sustaining the relationship? How often do see each other ? Is one of you just commitment phobic ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After a long marriage, who the h@ll wants to date again? Maybe switch teams.

Ha ha if you’re dating a human you still have the same issues !