Financial Aid and Single Mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you are right to be asking these types of questions. It’s similar to my situation- my parents didn’t “believe” in college so refused to pay. They weren’t low income but solidly middle class and I didn’t qualify for the type of aid I needed. I ended up looking into schools with generous merit aid packages and also took out the max in federal student loans.

Same. AND my grad school counted my parents' income until I turned 29.

[Anonymous]

1. If the father refuse to fill the CSS, how universities can figure out the father's income and include such income in financial aid calculation? I don't think CSS has a legal right to force the father fill the form

2. There is also a even worse situation. The father report his income in CSS and refuse to pay his part later, just for the purpose of revenge the mom because Mom received the court ordered child support for many years, can school agree the waiver next year?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. If the father refuse to fill the CSS, how universities can figure out the father's income and include such income in financial aid calculation? I don't think CSS has a legal right to force the father fill the form

then the student doesn't get aid absent an extraordinary situation (ugly divorce probably doesn't count)

2. There is also a even worse situation. The father report his income in CSS and refuse to pay his part later, just for the purpose of revenge the mom because Mom received the court ordered child support for many years, can school agree the waiver next year?

The school doesn't care who pays, just that someone does

[Anonymous]

If schools let parents off the hook for divorce, how many families would game the system to save potentially hundreds of thousands of dollars? Oldest hits junior year in highschool- uncontested divorce, parents just nest in the same house. Youngest gets their degree and the parents reconcile- true love wins

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. If the father refuse to fill the CSS, how universities can figure out the father's income and include such income in financial aid calculation? I don't think CSS has a legal right to force the father fill the form

2. There is also a even worse situation. The father report his income in CSS and refuse to pay his part later, just for the purpose of revenge the mom because Mom received the court ordered child support for many years, can school agree the waiver next year?

OP here. This is what I'm worried about. Not that he's doing it out of revenge, necessarily, he just doesn't care to pay and doesn't care what the consequences are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. If the father refuse to fill the CSS, how universities can figure out the father's income and include such income in financial aid calculation? I don't think CSS has a legal right to force the father fill the form

2. There is also a even worse situation. The father report his income in CSS and refuse to pay his part later, just for the purpose of revenge the mom because Mom received the court ordered child support for many years, can school agree the waiver next year?

OP here. This is what I'm worried about. Not that he's doing it out of revenge, necessarily, he just doesn't care to pay and doesn't care what the consequences are.

And that's his prerogative. But, it is also completely reasonable for schools to not ignore his income in calculating aid. Otherwise, why wouldn't everyone say they just don't want to pay so that they can get more aid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, most financial aid is just loans anyway.

If you want to get out in front of this, start saving in a 529 or have a conversation with your ex to discuss mutually contributing to one.

Sitting around hoping to get loans is a bad strategy.

OP here. Thank you for your comment and I agree that would be a terrible strategy. I am not sure where you got "sitting around" from. Maybe it's my mention of having a low income that provokes your derision? Anyway, it's an absolutely valid question I am posing. I am saving quite aggressively and don't want my kids to not have the benefit of whatever aid (not all of it is loans) they may be entitled to.

They have a father who earns $200,000 a year. They're not "entitled" to anything.

What I hear is you trying to make a case that only your lower income should be counted. For most schools, it doesn't work that way. End of story. That's the answer to the question you're asking. If you reject it, yes, you're sitting around without a strategy.

Why can't you talk to your ex and come up with a plan now? You have a decade or so ahead of you.

You don't get it and that's OK. I am honestly happy for you that this is all so theoretical that you can't actually put yourself in my shoes. I can take it but I hope you will approach others with more kindness because your post is hurting the feelings of a person who has already experienced a lifetime of pain.

Only on DCUM is a woman with kids still in the single digits trying to be strategic about financial planning accused of wanting entitlements and being lazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. If the father refuse to fill the CSS, how universities can figure out the father's income and include such income in financial aid calculation? I don't think CSS has a legal right to force the father fill the form

2. There is also a even worse situation. The father report his income in CSS and refuse to pay his part later, just for the purpose of revenge the mom because Mom received the court ordered child support for many years, can school agree the waiver next year?

OP here. This is what I'm worried about. Not that he's doing it out of revenge, necessarily, he just doesn't care to pay and doesn't care what the consequences are.

And that's his prerogative. But, it is also completely reasonable for schools to not ignore his income in calculating aid. Otherwise, why wouldn't everyone say they just don't want to pay so that they can get more aid?

No child would want to go through what my children have been through to save money. Yes, I think the burden of his high salary shouldn't be mine to fulfill and I should be evaluated based on my income, not his. I raise them. I think colleges should take our family's situation into account and I thought someone on this board might have been there, done that and have advice. Unfortunately "divorced" moms doing absolutely everything for their children without much assistance is not a rare event.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If schools let parents off the hook for divorce, how many families would game the system to save potentially hundreds of thousands of dollars? Oldest hits junior year in highschool- uncontested divorce, parents just nest in the same house. Youngest gets their degree and the parents reconcile- true love wins

OP here. You are not considered divorced if you live in the same house. Yeah, me raising my kids entirely on my own lets me "off the hook" for college. Woohoo, the abuse was so worth it!

Shame on you for being so glib. I am not saying they should give an unfair advantaged to divorced families. I am asking if anyone else has been in this difficult situation and has advice to offer.

[Anonymous]

How about the parents are never married and the father even did not sign the birth certificate of the child. The father has been paying child support as otherwise, his wage will be garnished. The father nerve visit the child or have any kind of communication with the child

Do you think this father's income can be waived?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. If the father refuse to fill the CSS, how universities can figure out the father's income and include such income in financial aid calculation? I don't think CSS has a legal right to force the father fill the form

2. There is also a even worse situation. The father report his income in CSS and refuse to pay his part later, just for the purpose of revenge the mom because Mom received the court ordered child support for many years, can school agree the waiver next year?

OP here. This is what I'm worried about. Not that he's doing it out of revenge, necessarily, he just doesn't care to pay and doesn't care what the consequences are.

And that's his prerogative. But, it is also completely reasonable for schools to not ignore his income in calculating aid. Otherwise, why wouldn't everyone say they just don't want to pay so that they can get more aid?

No child would want to go through what my children have been through to save money. Yes, I think the burden of his high salary shouldn't be mine to fulfill and I should be evaluated based on my income, not his. I raise them. I think colleges should take our family's situation into account and I thought someone on this board might have been there, done that and have advice. Unfortunately "divorced" moms doing absolutely everything for their children without much assistance is not a rare event.

Do you really not see how people couldn't game the system if the rule was, as long as one parent didn't want to pay for college, that parent's income wasn't counted?

Parents do not have to pay for their kid's colleges, even if they have the means. That doesn't mean that those kid's can therefore qualify for aid as if their parent's income didn't exist. That true whether parents are together or divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. If the father refuse to fill the CSS, how universities can figure out the father's income and include such income in financial aid calculation? I don't think CSS has a legal right to force the father fill the form

2. There is also a even worse situation. The father report his income in CSS and refuse to pay his part later, just for the purpose of revenge the mom because Mom received the court ordered child support for many years, can school agree the waiver next year?

OP here. This is what I'm worried about. Not that he's doing it out of revenge, necessarily, he just doesn't care to pay and doesn't care what the consequences are.

And that's his prerogative. But, it is also completely reasonable for schools to not ignore his income in calculating aid. Otherwise, why wouldn't everyone say they just don't want to pay so that they can get more aid?

No child would want to go through what my children have been through to save money. Yes, I think the burden of his high salary shouldn't be mine to fulfill and I should be evaluated based on my income, not his. I raise them. I think colleges should take our family's situation into account and I thought someone on this board might have been there, done that and have advice. Unfortunately "divorced" moms doing absolutely everything for their children without much assistance is not a rare event.

Do you really not see how people couldn't game the system if the rule was, as long as one parent didn't want to pay for college, that parent's income wasn't counted?

Parents do not have to pay for their kid's colleges, even if they have the means. That doesn't mean that those kid's can therefore qualify for aid as if their parent's income didn't exist. That true whether parents are together or divorced.

I really do see, thank you. And I think they can overcome this by considering a student's specific situation. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How about the parents are never married and the father even did not sign the birth certificate of the child. The father has been paying child support as otherwise, his wage will be garnished. The father nerve visit the child or have any kind of communication with the child

Do you think this father's income can be waived?

OP here. Honestly not so different from me except we were married. I would hope this family would have some recourse not to have an Expected Family Contribution that includes what's basically a sperm donor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. If the father refuse to fill the CSS, how universities can figure out the father's income and include such income in financial aid calculation? I don't think CSS has a legal right to force the father fill the form

2. There is also a even worse situation. The father report his income in CSS and refuse to pay his part later, just for the purpose of revenge the mom because Mom received the court ordered child support for many years, can school agree the waiver next year?

OP here. This is what I'm worried about. Not that he's doing it out of revenge, necessarily, he just doesn't care to pay and doesn't care what the consequences are.

And that's his prerogative. But, it is also completely reasonable for schools to not ignore his income in calculating aid. Otherwise, why wouldn't everyone say they just don't want to pay so that they can get more aid?

No child would want to go through what my children have been through to save money. Yes, I think the burden of his high salary shouldn't be mine to fulfill and I should be evaluated based on my income, not his. I raise them. I think colleges should take our family's situation into account and I thought someone on this board might have been there, done that and have advice. Unfortunately "divorced" moms doing absolutely everything for their children without much assistance is not a rare event.

Do you really not see how people couldn't game the system if the rule was, as long as one parent didn't want to pay for college, that parent's income wasn't counted?

Parents do not have to pay for their kid's colleges, even if they have the means. That doesn't mean that those kid's can therefore qualify for aid as if their parent's income didn't exist. That true whether parents are together or divorced.

I really do see, thank you. And I think they can overcome this by considering a student's specific situation. Thanks.

How would that work in practice? Right now it is a fairly automated process based on numbers.

Are you proposing that people would write essays explaining their personal situations? Someone would then have to evaluate these essays to determine what warranted exceptions.

How would that be done in a fair, uniform manner? How would they be able to evaluate whether what someone wrote was true?

What specific circumstances do you think would warrant more money? For example, you mentioned the abuse you went through? Does that entitle you to more aid? A parent could be abusive and still be willing to pay for college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. If the father refuse to fill the CSS, how universities can figure out the father's income and include such income in financial aid calculation? I don't think CSS has a legal right to force the father fill the form

2. There is also a even worse situation. The father report his income in CSS and refuse to pay his part later, just for the purpose of revenge the mom because Mom received the court ordered child support for many years, can school agree the waiver next year?

OP here. This is what I'm worried about. Not that he's doing it out of revenge, necessarily, he just doesn't care to pay and doesn't care what the consequences are.

And that's his prerogative. But, it is also completely reasonable for schools to not ignore his income in calculating aid. Otherwise, why wouldn't everyone say they just don't want to pay so that they can get more aid?

No child would want to go through what my children have been through to save money. Yes, I think the burden of his high salary shouldn't be mine to fulfill and I should be evaluated based on my income, not his. I raise them. I think colleges should take our family's situation into account and I thought someone on this board might have been there, done that and have advice. Unfortunately "divorced" moms doing absolutely everything for their children without much assistance is not a rare event.

Do you really not see how people couldn't game the system if the rule was, as long as one parent didn't want to pay for college, that parent's income wasn't counted?

Parents do not have to pay for their kid's colleges, even if they have the means. That doesn't mean that those kid's can therefore qualify for aid as if their parent's income didn't exist. That true whether parents are together or divorced.

I really do see, thank you. And I think they can overcome this by considering a student's specific situation. Thanks.

How would that work in practice? Right now it is a fairly automated process based on numbers.

Are you proposing that people would write essays explaining their personal situations? Someone would then have to evaluate these essays to determine what warranted exceptions.

How would that be done in a fair, uniform manner? How would they be able to evaluate whether what someone wrote was true?

What specific circumstances do you think would warrant more money? For example, you mentioned the abuse you went through? Does that entitle you to more aid? A parent could be abusive and still be willing to pay for college.

People do call up college financial aid offices and explain their situations. Sometimes colleges are able to work with the family. No, I do not propose an essay writing system. I thought it was possible that people on this board have advice on this specific situation.

Thank you also for implying that I think my child being abused means she deserves special treatment. I was saying that it is possible to determine difficult situations and help families out who need help, and recognizing that no one would want to go through those things to get money. But you know that. You are just hoping to hurt another human being.