Financial Aid and Single Mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a single parent who adopted my child that way (ie, there has never been a dad in the picture).

I know this is not the common situation, but we explained that once and only one school made us sign an affidavit or something to prove it.

I am not at all suggesting that people lie about their situation, but I am just describing another variation on single parents.

In this situation, there would also be only one parent on the birth certificate.

[Anonymous]

Hi. I haven't read every suggestion but I thought I would chime in.

I am a single parent and my kids attended top schools. In our case, there was a history of abuse (which I had legal paperwork to prove), no contact or support (which I had to prove with multiple letters) and, even then, at least one school refused to waive his CSS profile. In the end, only one of my three children attended a school that required a CSS Profile and that college did waive his forms.

I want you to understand that your children's situation will be no different from most people's. Most parents, especially in the DC area, cannot afford the contribution colleges expect from the. Also, most colleges do not meet full need and, when they do, it often includes loan amounts that are too high. When it comes right down to it, the overwhelming number of kids end up choosing a college because of costs. The kids may apply to lots of far-away schools with glossy brochures, but it's often the financial aid page and the parents' bank account that makes the final decision.

My absolute best advice-- especially if you are consistently receiving child support from a man earning $200k-- is to start a 529 and look at a variety of ways to pay for college. I'm going to list some. There are no right or wrong choices.

1. Get a job at a university or even a hospital connected to a university. Many of them offer some sort of family tuition reimbursement after you've worked a number of years.

2. If your child is interested in the military, there are a number of choices from West Point to joining as an enlisted person and attending college later.

3. Dual enroll at the community college while in high school. This can knock off as much as 1-2 years, especially if the student attends a state college.

4. Attend a top school that is FAFSA only. They exist. That will likely change by the time your child attends college but one of my kids attended just such a school.

5. Move to a state with a really good public state college system or even a state that promises to pay for college tuition for instate kids with certain gpas. Last I knew, Georgia and Florida had such plans.

6. Take AP/IB courses. This can cut off a good year or so but top colleges sometimes make students replace with harder courses so there's not much savings there.

7. Attend an HBCU. They are often less expensive.

8. Attend college overseas. This is often a savings for people who are paying fully out-of-pocket.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:
Thanks so much for your follow-up. I totally understood what you were saying. I guess that's the difficult part of this. Having to include my ex on the EFC means that my kids will not be able to go to schools they would have been able to go to if he had just vanished. (which essentially, he has) It's tough, and I know people that are in all kinds of situations that have financial challenges and I feel for them, too. I'm a very strong person and a devoted parents and I know my kids will continue to thrive. Thank you for your encouragement!

I just want to emphasize that he hasn't vanished, at least not financially, which is the issue. If he had vanished and never paid support, your child(ren) would be in a different position vis-a-vis financial aid. Your children are entitled to the child support he is paying, but they are benefitting financially from it.

Right and the child support I receive is noted as income on my part of the profile. Maybe I should have waived the support, I don't know!

No, absolutely not. Your children are entitled to that support. Waiving child support is almost never advisable.

Thank you for saying this! It's easy to second-guess when you're in this weird situation you weren't anticipating.
But you're right, the law says he must pay, and then colleges use that to justify the idea that he has been invested in the children and will continue to invest... so sad but not always the case. (and the same is true for parents who are married and don't want to contribute! I understand I'm not the only one dealing with this kind of thing!)

That's not what they are saying, though. As others have pointed out already, they are looking at his ability to invest in her college education, not his willingness.

A parent's unwillingness to pay for college is not going to entitle a kid to more aid in almost all circumstances.

I understand what you are saying. I am pointing out that if he didn't have to pay child support (jail being the alternative as it is), the CSS would allow him to be considered long gone and he would not have to report. Then, I would be in a better position. That is all I am saying.

22:21 here and I've got to say you lost me with this comment. If he didn't have to pay child support, you WOULDN'T be better off and it's sort of offensive for you-- who has child support from a man earning $200k-- to tell those of us who had absolutely no child support, how it's better somehow to get financial aid for one out of three kids after 20 years of not always being able to pay the heat, or the rent, or new shoes for the kids, to not having a car, etc. And I'm not the one complaining. There is ALWAYS someone who had it worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Thanks so much for your follow-up. I totally understood what you were saying. I guess that's the difficult part of this. Having to include my ex on the EFC means that my kids will not be able to go to schools they would have been able to go to if he had just vanished. (which essentially, he has) It's tough, and I know people that are in all kinds of situations that have financial challenges and I feel for them, too. I'm a very strong person and a devoted parents and I know my kids will continue to thrive. Thank you for your encouragement!

I just want to emphasize that he hasn't vanished, at least not financially, which is the issue. If he had vanished and never paid support, your child(ren) would be in a different position vis-a-vis financial aid. Your children are entitled to the child support he is paying, but they are benefitting financially from it.

Right and the child support I receive is noted as income on my part of the profile. Maybe I should have waived the support, I don't know!

No, absolutely not. Your children are entitled to that support. Waiving child support is almost never advisable.

Thank you for saying this! It's easy to second-guess when you're in this weird situation you weren't anticipating.
But you're right, the law says he must pay, and then colleges use that to justify the idea that he has been invested in the children and will continue to invest... so sad but not always the case. (and the same is true for parents who are married and don't want to contribute! I understand I'm not the only one dealing with this kind of thing!)

That's not what they are saying, though. As others have pointed out already, they are looking at his ability to invest in her college education, not his willingness.

A parent's unwillingness to pay for college is not going to entitle a kid to more aid in almost all circumstances.

I understand what you are saying. I am pointing out that if he didn't have to pay child support (jail being the alternative as it is), the CSS would allow him to be considered long gone and he would not have to report. Then, I would be in a better position. That is all I am saying.

22:21 here and I've got to say you lost me with this comment. If he didn't have to pay child support, you WOULDN'T be better off and it's sort of offensive for you-- who has child support from a man earning $200k-- to tell those of us who had absolutely no child support, how it's better somehow to get financial aid for one out of three kids after 20 years of not always being able to pay the heat, or the rent, or new shoes for the kids, to not having a car, etc. And I'm not the one complaining. There is ALWAYS someone who had it worse.

I did not mean to offend you. And thank you for all your the great advice above. my kids are young and this is a thought experiment. But I just want to point out that he is not paying the child support that he should be paying based on his salary. Nor are the CS checks a thing that I can count on. Unfortunately, that's just the case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi. I haven't read every suggestion but I thought I would chime in.

I am a single parent and my kids attended top schools. In our case, there was a history of abuse (which I had legal paperwork to prove), no contact or support (which I had to prove with multiple letters) and, even then, at least one school refused to waive his CSS profile. In the end, only one of my three children attended a school that required a CSS Profile and that college did waive his forms.

I want you to understand that your children's situation will be no different from most people's. Most parents, especially in the DC area, cannot afford the contribution colleges expect from the. Also, most colleges do not meet full need and, when they do, it often includes loan amounts that are too high. When it comes right down to it, the overwhelming number of kids end up choosing a college because of costs. The kids may apply to lots of far-away schools with glossy brochures, but it's often the financial aid page and the parents' bank account that makes the final decision.

My absolute best advice-- especially if you are consistently receiving child support from a man earning $200k-- is to start a 529 and look at a variety of ways to pay for college. I'm going to list some. There are no right or wrong choices.

1. Get a job at a university or even a hospital connected to a university. Many of them offer some sort of family tuition reimbursement after you've worked a number of years.

2. If your child is interested in the military, there are a number of choices from West Point to joining as an enlisted person and attending college later.

3. Dual enroll at the community college while in high school. This can knock off as much as 1-2 years, especially if the student attends a state college.

4. Attend a top school that is FAFSA only. They exist. That will likely change by the time your child attends college but one of my kids attended just such a school.

5. Move to a state with a really good public state college system or even a state that promises to pay for college tuition for instate kids with certain gpas. Last I knew, Georgia and Florida had such plans.

6. Take AP/IB courses. This can cut off a good year or so but top colleges sometimes make students replace with harder courses so there's not much savings there.

7. Attend an HBCU. They are often less expensive.

8. Attend college overseas. This is often a savings for people who are paying fully out-of-pocket.

Thanks for your great advice. Yes, there is many ways to pay. another way is ROTC, Regardless, we should let our kids know that paying their college is NOT required by law for parents. They also need to consider how can they contribute to their college cost.

[Anonymous]

Two ways. Give up custody of child legally while a minor or have them legally marry before college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:


Thanks for your great advice. Yes, there is many ways to pay. another way is ROTC, Regardless, we should let our kids know that paying their college is NOT required by law for parents. They also need to consider how can they contribute to their college cost.

Correct
By law parents duties end when child turns 18
You are not required to give your children an inheritance, full paid college, driver's license, a car or orthodontic braces

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:


Thanks for your great advice. Yes, there is many ways to pay. another way is ROTC, Regardless, we should let our kids know that paying their college is NOT required by law for parents. They also need to consider how can they contribute to their college cost.

Correct
By law parents duties end when child turns 18
You are not required to give your children an inheritance, full paid college, driver's license, a car or orthodontic braces

agree completely

by law, parents should provide their kids with food, housing, k-12 education, and healthy body/mind. If we give them more, such as a car, braces, sports activity, inheritance, and help their college, the kids should appreciate our kindness.