Divorced parents - are you changing your custody schedule bc of Covid19?

[Anonymous]

We are a blended family. My step kids see their mother once a month at most, and live here full time so they are a non-issue.

My kids see their dad twice a week - they saw him last Wed., and since he is not staying home (can't bc of his work) they are staying with me full time. He is in contact with too many people.

It was a ten second discussion.

[Anonymous]

It’s kind of stupid to stop seeing your own child. Social distancing doesn’t mean you ditch your kid.

[Anonymous]

People are being extreme. No expert has advocated that we need to separate children from their parents. Kids need their parents and their routines when so much else in their lives is disrupted.

I would lose all respect for anyone who uses this as an excuse to alienate the other parent or tries to separate their child from their parent.

That is nothing but ignorance and spite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. My ex lives out of state (a few hours drive) and usually sees DD every week for a couple days. We agreed that he’d stay home and she’d stay with me until things change, if that ever happens.

Why not give him a week on week off?

How do you think that would work? The kid goes to school in State A one week and State B the next? Wow, the MRA crowded and their wimminfolk are dumb as rocks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. My ex lives out of state (a few hours drive) and usually sees DD every week for a couple days. We agreed that he’d stay home and she’d stay with me until things change, if that ever happens.

Why not give him a week on week off?

How do you think that would work? The kid goes to school in State A one week and State B the next? Wow, the MRA crowded and their wimminfolk are dumb as rocks!

Around here kids are off school for a minimum of two weeks. So, he gets one week, you get one week. Or, he gets two weeks since you have the majority of time with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. My ex lives out of state (a few hours drive) and usually sees DD every week for a couple days. We agreed that he’d stay home and she’d stay with me until things change, if that ever happens.

Why not give him a week on week off?

How do you think that would work? The kid goes to school in State A one week and State B the next? Wow, the MRA crowded and their wimminfolk are dumb as rocks!

Around here kids are off school for a minimum of two weeks. So, he gets one week, you get one week. Or, he gets two weeks since you have the majority of time with her.

Wrong mom you’re responding to. But I imagine if the dad in that situation agreed he would stay home, he doesn’t actually want one week. Better for that kid to be with the parent who is interesting in having her now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. My ex lives out of state (a few hours drive) and usually sees DD every week for a couple days. We agreed that he’d stay home and she’d stay with me until things change, if that ever happens.

Why not give him a week on week off?

We talked about it and agreed to respect the guidance to minimize contact with non-family as much as possible. He has two other kids and will be staying home with them in the state where they live. We felt that the drive to/from that city would expose him and DD to more non-family contact than we were comfortable with. They agreed to spend extra time on the phone, FaceTime, etc. and agreed to spend extra time together when the restrictions are lifted.

Believe it or not, not everyone has a sh*tty relationship with their ex. We just came up with a plan together that involved no travel for anyone at a time when travel is being discouraged. If schools remain closed through the end of the year but our families remain symptom-free, we agreed to make a plan for her to go to his place for an extended time, meeting halfway between so we didn’t have to stop anywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. My ex lives out of state (a few hours drive) and usually sees DD every week for a couple days. We agreed that he’d stay home and she’d stay with me until things change, if that ever happens.

Why not give him a week on week off?

We talked about it and agreed to respect the guidance to minimize contact with non-family as much as possible. He has two other kids and will be staying home with them in the state where they live. We felt that the drive to/from that city would expose him and DD to more non-family contact than we were comfortable with. They agreed to spend extra time on the phone, FaceTime, etc. and agreed to spend extra time together when the restrictions are lifted.

Believe it or not, not everyone has a sh*tty relationship with their ex. We just came up with a plan together that involved no travel for anyone at a time when travel is being discouraged. If schools remain closed through the end of the year but our families remain symptom-free, we agreed to make a plan for her to go to his place for an extended time, meeting halfway between so we didn’t have to stop anywhere.

If he is home, it makes sense for a visit. Driving back and forth is not going to give you the virus. You are denying visits.

[Anonymous]

We are keeping our usual schedule, but my ex showed up for the swap tonight and demanded to take my temperature before letting our child get into my car.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. My ex lives out of state (a few hours drive) and usually sees DD every week for a couple days. We agreed that he’d stay home and she’d stay with me until things change, if that ever happens.

Why not give him a week on week off?

We talked about it and agreed to respect the guidance to minimize contact with non-family as much as possible. He has two other kids and will be staying home with them in the state where they live. We felt that the drive to/from that city would expose him and DD to more non-family contact than we were comfortable with. They agreed to spend extra time on the phone, FaceTime, etc. and agreed to spend extra time together when the restrictions are lifted.

Believe it or not, not everyone has a sh*tty relationship with their ex. We just came up with a plan together that involved no travel for anyone at a time when travel is being discouraged. If schools remain closed through the end of the year but our families remain symptom-free, we agreed to make a plan for her to go to his place for an extended time, meeting halfway between so we didn’t have to stop anywhere.

If he is home, it makes sense for a visit. Driving back and forth is not going to give you the virus. You are denying visits.

I think your answer is in the section I bolded. She considers her child's father to be non-family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. My ex lives out of state (a few hours drive) and usually sees DD every week for a couple days. We agreed that he’d stay home and she’d stay with me until things change, if that ever happens.

Why not give him a week on week off?

We talked about it and agreed to respect the guidance to minimize contact with non-family as much as possible. He has two other kids and will be staying home with them in the state where they live. We felt that the drive to/from that city would expose him and DD to more non-family contact than we were comfortable with. They agreed to spend extra time on the phone, FaceTime, etc. and agreed to spend extra time together when the restrictions are lifted.

Believe it or not, not everyone has a sh*tty relationship with their ex. We just came up with a plan together that involved no travel for anyone at a time when travel is being discouraged. If schools remain closed through the end of the year but our families remain symptom-free, we agreed to make a plan for her to go to his place for an extended time, meeting halfway between so we didn’t have to stop anywhere.

If he is home, it makes sense for a visit. Driving back and forth is not going to give you the virus. You are denying visits.

I think your answer is in the section I bolded. She considers her child's father to be non-family.

And yet she has no issue taking money regularly.

[Anonymous]

Ex and I live about 30 minutes away from each other. We are probably going to change up our schedules so we are not driving back and forth every day. For now we are both on mandatory telework so we will probably split the days with her.

[Anonymous]

ExDH and I have 50/50 split. I am moving into his guest room while school is closed to accommodate shift scheduling at work (reducing personnel in office at any given time, no telework job).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are amicable you can work it out. Any "extra" time with one parent can be made up in the future.

The key question is this - are both parents actually practicing social distancing?

If you leave your kids with DH, and then go to work where you are in contact with other people, and then get the kids back, and then return the kids to DH when it's his turn again, your failure to practice social distancing has defeated his social distancing as well as that of your kids.

If both parents are actually staying home and avoiding contact with third parties, then there is no reason not to drive them back and forth as per the usual schedule.

This is not an excuse to deny visitation.

Um. You realize that "denying visitation" to a parent who is not social distancing is a matter of life and death - for the other parent, and possibly the children? Sounds like a pretty damn good reason to deny visitation to me. If your XDH is too dumb or stubborn to do what's right, it's on you to protect yourself and your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ExDH and I have 50/50 split. I am moving into his guest room while school is closed to accommodate shift scheduling at work (reducing personnel in office at any given time, no telework job).

This is the worst of all possible worlds - nobody is protected.