Husband filed taxes separately without me - what to do?

[Anonymous]

Wow. Is he going to show you his tax return? He should. You are his wife. You should know everything about his finances, including his student loans.

[Anonymous]

OP - what he did is just a tiny view into how the rest of your life with him will be. This is deal-breaker behavior for me.

Clearly an unhealthy relationship due to his lack of trust, which is huge.

[Anonymous]

If he doesn’t want you to know his financials it is a legally better that he files separately so that nothing could be imparted to your knowledge. However, this is not a good sign for a marriage.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you can get him to agree to see a third party - a CPA or financial advisor to help with planning moving forward. Having someone neutral might help bridge the divide.

[Anonymous]

Tell him to leave your condo immediately and that you are filing for divorce. I am completely serious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell him to leave your condo immediately and that you are filing for divorce. I am completely serious.

I think if he won't show you his credit report and tax returns that's a reasonable indication that something big is amiss and you should be prepared for that possibility. I would mentally prepare yourself to kiss that $20,000 goodbye. Maybe you can get an annulment

[Anonymous]

You marriage is pretty much guaranteed not to make it past 5 years. How much time and money do you wish to waste before that becomes even more apparent?

[Anonymous]

This is seriously f’ed up, OP. I would be gone before the ink dried on my tax returns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The student loan deduction is a whopping $2500 so it's really nothing to get secretive over. This is about something more nefarious

It may not be the deduction itself; his IDR payments could go way up if they file together.

But OP: this is a mess and not just because of him. Did you guys discuss this stuff before you got married?

[Anonymous]

Do not have kids! You need to have this figured out before starting a family. Seriously. If this ends up being some crazy shady stuff you can divorce and start over. Much more difficult once kids are in the mix.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he doesn’t want you to know his financials it is a legally better that he files separately so that nothing could be imparted to your knowledge. However, this is not a good sign for a marriage.

Does this stand since they have a joint account, are saving for a future together and he is contributing to mortgage payments? They appear to be co-mingling assets. I would think someone going after him could go after her?? I truly don't know the answer.

[Anonymous]

Are you sure he filed at all? It’s possible he’s many years in arrears and doesn’t want you to know.

[Anonymous]

He either shows you his financials, including his tax return, or you file an annulment. You can’t build a life together if he’s not willing to have financial transparency. He doesn’t get to postpone until next year, either. It happens NOW or you walk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure he filed at all? It’s possible he’s many years in arrears and doesn’t want you to know.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he doesn’t want you to know his financials it is a legally better that he files separately so that nothing could be imparted to your knowledge. However, this is not a good sign for a marriage.

Does this stand since they have a joint account, are saving for a future together and he is contributing to mortgage payments? They appear to be co-mingling assets. I would think someone going after him could go after her?? I truly don't know the answer.

Co-mingling? Did you miss the part where they venmo each other like tab-keeping roommates?