Is it poor form to request donated paid leave for childbirth recovery period?

[Anonymous]

Terribly gauche, especially since the medical reason is not stated in the request. People may assume that you are requesting because you expect complications, and donate on that basis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course it's fine. People generally donate use or lose leave. Maybe someday you will be in a position to pay it forward by helping someone else. It's a request, not a requirement. If people don't want to/can't, they won't and won't give it another thought. No one's gonna be like, that Jane is just so rude to even request the leave.

use or lose, not use or leave.

Are you saying that people just end up wasting loads of leave and there aren’t enough worthy cases to sop up donated leave? If so I think OP should ask for it, but I would want to actually know that’s what’s happening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There's no way you will get enough leave donated to avoid unpaid-leave status. And you can afford and plan to take a full leave unpaid. So you'd be effectively asking people for money. That's the only benefit to you that I can see from people donating leave--you having more money. That would be off putting to most people if they found out the full circumstances.

PP again. The only way I could see it being OK is if many people routinely "lose" significant amounts of unused leave each year. In that case, you're just saying "Hey, if you're not going to use that anyway, I could use the cash." But if the workplace norms are to use or carry over leave, and people rarely "lose" days completely, then you're asking them to give something up.

[Anonymous]

it literally says it can't be used to care for a healthy child, which is what you'd be doing. Correct?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:it literally says it can't be used to care for a healthy child, which is what you'd be doing. Correct?

No OP says just for the physical recovery 6-8 week period.

[Anonymous]

The point of it is to enable someone to NOT go on unpaid leave IMO. You are going on unpaid leave its just a matter of when. So in these situations I feel like it's just asking for money which I would never do. It makes sense to ask for leave when your husband is doing a round of chemo at the Cleveland clinic and you will be gone 3 weeks but you only have 12 days so the 3 days donated would keep you from dipping into unpaid. Thats a real life example of the last person I have some leave to BTW. Ive never seen it for a term birth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:it literally says it can't be used to care for a healthy child, which is what you'd be doing. Correct?

I think it's poor form, but no. She can only use it during the first 6 weeks following birth. That's the part when you're not healthy. The 6-8 weeks of sick leave you can use is for your recover, not the baby's.

[Anonymous]

OP, it seems to be agency dependent. At the agency I worked at when I was a Fed, people frequently requested leave for the 6-8w period after birth. It is a medically-indicated leave period, and it's totally within the rules of requesting leave. Where I worked, most people knew why the leave was requested, and no one has to donate if they don't want to. I can say that I know a couple of people who remember fondly the people that donated leave in these situations.

As you can see by this thread, though, at other agencies this is considered some kind of crime against humanity. I personally don't think it is, but you should find out the norms at *your* agency before deciding what to do. It might be totally fine where you are, and it would be a shame to miss out if that's the case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The point of it is to enable someone to NOT go on unpaid leave IMO. You are going on unpaid leave its just a matter of when. So in these situations I feel like it's just asking for money which I would never do. It makes sense to ask for leave when your husband is doing a round of chemo at the Cleveland clinic and you will be gone 3 weeks but you only have 12 days so the 3 days donated would keep you from dipping into unpaid. Thats a real life example of the last person I have some leave to BTW. Ive never seen it for a term birth.

Or to have LESS unpaid leave time.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am going to disagree with everyone here (except the poster who noted our maternal leave policies in this country are disgraceful) and say yes, of course it's fine to ask for leave. I have donated leave to people in all kinds of situations and have been glad to do it. Childbirth is a better reason than plenty of others. The posters screaming about it being "gauche" and unnecessary are sadly brainwashed and frankly screwed up, and the sad thing is most of them are probably women. You can and should ask for leave without feeling any guilt for this. Pregnancy and childbirth are REALLY hard on the body.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks for the unvarnished feedback - I expected nothing less! My spouse will be happy to be vindicated on this one. Just to clarify: it's the agency's policy not to give a medical reason (or any other background) for leave solicitations. And yes, my hope was to give colleagues with "use or lose leave" who were feeling particularly generous an outlet for that generosity -- not random employees who don't know me and think I might have cancer. Of course, there's no way for me to screen for that possibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have disability insurance? For some companies that's standard and pays 2/3 of your salary for 6 or 8 weeks.

+1

The state of paid leave for new parents in this country is just so unacceptable. OP, even after I joined our school's sick leave bank (which means donating two days of your own sick leave in order to be eligible to apply for more time) I found out that I wasn't eligible for using it because I'm not the birth mother - I'm the non biological mother (we are a same sex couple). I thought it was ridiculous that I donated my time like everyone else, yet I couldn't use the leave because I wasn't the one who gave birth. If my wife had needed me/my assistance because of C-section recovery, etc., I would've just had to take unpaid leave (and I did actually for our first child).

But yes, I'd look into short term disability leave.

[Anonymous]

This reminds me of when people try to talk on DCUM about how maternity/paternity leave should be paid and you get all these responses that having a child is a CHOICE and you should PLAN it. Sometimes DCUM can be very anti-family/anti-woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I am going to disagree with everyone here (except the poster who noted our maternal leave policies in this country are disgraceful) and say yes, of course it's fine to ask for leave. I have donated leave to people in all kinds of situations and have been glad to do it. Childbirth is a better reason than plenty of others. The posters screaming about it being "gauche" and unnecessary are sadly brainwashed and frankly screwed up, and the sad thing is most of them are probably women. You can and should ask for leave without feeling any guilt for this. Pregnancy and childbirth are REALLY hard on the body.

This. Our leave situation sucks for all in this country and I would gladly donate a day. I'm a mother who had an uncomplicated birth and then struggled with PPD, mastitis and a colicky baby and added financial stress would have sent me truly over the edge. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I think the non feds on this thread don't understand it. When leave is donated for a normal birth, it will take away from leave that a cancer patient can ask for. Most people's leave is finite. My DH always has use or lose. He does donate to very needy coworkers, but of course that takes away from our family and he doesn't take as many days off around the holidays. I never have use or lose (because I used it for maternity leaves) but would donate to a coworker in need.

Also, sucks you missed the paid leave that starts in October for feds.