Is it poor form to request donated paid leave for childbirth recovery period?

[Anonymous]

Very. You might get a few people to donate but having a child is a voluntary choice in most situations and is in yours. You should not have started a new job if you needed the leave. Many of us save our leave for years to get that all paid for. I find it really off-putting someone uses all their leave or didn't save and asks for leave. I will gladly donate to someone I am close with for a special situation - cancer, ongoing health issues, NICU or other emergency with pregnancy but not because you want paid leave and didn't plan.

[Anonymous]

In poor form If you were asking for your fourth month covered, but no way in hell will you be in any shape to go back to work 2 weeks after kid 1. You are just as much in need as someone who had surgery

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In poor form If you were asking for your fourth month covered, but no way in hell will you be in any shape to go back to work 2 weeks after kid 1. You are just as much in need as someone who had surgery

She's not going back, she's just not going to be paid while she's on leave. Presumably this baby was planned, as was the job switch. Yes, maternity leave policies suck in America but this isn't a situation where she's being forced back to work at 2 weeks like some people.

[Anonymous]

This is what leave donation is for! Ppl in my agency do this all the time. Normal births.

[Anonymous]

Check your agency policies and follow them. In my agency, it was the policy that employees could request leave donations if they were hospitalized or on home bed rest (e.g. C section or other complication) after giving birth. They could also request leave if their child was still at the hospital in NICU or maternity. But for a child sent home and a mother that was no longer on bed rest, you could not request leave donations.

[Anonymous]

I'm one of the PP's who leaned against asking. But it really ultimately comes down to workplace norms.

If your workplace is one where coworkers routinely gift new moms a day or two of leave, almost like a congratulations or expression of celebration, and the vast majority of pregnant women sign up for leave donation, then I think it's fine to make yourself eligible too.

If your workplace culture is that leave donation is more of a need-based thing, that people extend as a safety net to coworkers in a hardship situation, then you should not ask under the circumstances you describe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, it seems to be agency dependent. At the agency I worked at when I was a Fed, people frequently requested leave for the 6-8w period after birth. It is a medically-indicated leave period, and it's totally within the rules of requesting leave. Where I worked, most people knew why the leave was requested, and no one has to donate if they don't want to. I can say that I know a couple of people who remember fondly the people that donated leave in these situations.

As you can see by this thread, though, at other agencies this is considered some kind of crime against humanity. I personally don't think it is, but you should find out the norms at *your* agency before deciding what to do. It might be totally fine where you are, and it would be a shame to miss out if that's the case.

+1. It's fine at my agency too. You won't get much if any donated, but it's worth trying. Childbirth is major recovery and it sucks. I've done that and had cancer, and they both suck pretty badly. I'd go for it. Maybe one of those men with hundreds of hours of use or lose will throw a few your way!

[Anonymous]

Perfectly okay in my agency, and have seen it done a lot. A lot of people know what’s up with the lack of parental leave, plus it’s a good solution for use or lose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't give you any of my days just because there is always someone literally dying of cancer who needs them. Or getting a lung transplant or going across state to bury their child etc etc. All real life examples in my agency. I save them for those in crisis.

Which is entirely reasonable. But that still doesn't mean it is improper for OP to ask/or put herself in a position to accept leave if people have it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will dissent. I was incapacitated after my vaginal births. To doctors I had minor complication. To my vagina, these were MAJOR things like a huge tear. I could not walk very far. No way I could have worked. I was not strolling to Starbucks to gaze at the baby and drink lattes. I was in MEDICAL recovery, the same way a dude who has a hernia operation is. Some of them are up and about a day or 2 later, some of them take weeks to recover. Yet, The Dude is covered with paid time off. My vagina was given no such time.

It doesn't hurt to ask. I'd do it.

What do you mean by that? If you are Feds, either of you would have the ability to use sick leave to cover these illnesses/injuries. If either of you are out of sick leave/or annual leave, then you would be out of luck. I don't understand the gender imbalance you are trying to draw here.

[Anonymous]

You’re going to have to ask what the culture is in your agency. In my agency HR has to approve requests for actual donated leave and they almost never allow it. I’ve seen it just a few times and it’s for things like a parent needing to stay home with a terminally ill child. It gets filled within a few hours. Everyone else has to apply to the leave bank, and the period after birth can be covered, but it’s not person to person. - it’s all the use or lose at the end of the year plus the mandatory donation or 4, 6, or 8 hours. In other places that don’t have a leave bank, you can get person to person, but that’s often the spouse donating to the wife.

[Anonymous]

I think it is 100% acceptable

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will dissent. I was incapacitated after my vaginal births. To doctors I had minor complication. To my vagina, these were MAJOR things like a huge tear. I could not walk very far. No way I could have worked. I was not strolling to Starbucks to gaze at the baby and drink lattes. I was in MEDICAL recovery, the same way a dude who has a hernia operation is. Some of them are up and about a day or 2 later, some of them take weeks to recover. Yet, The Dude is covered with paid time off. My vagina was given no such time.

It doesn't hurt to ask. I'd do it.

What do you mean by that? If you are Feds, either of you would have the ability to use sick leave to cover these illnesses/injuries. If either of you are out of sick leave/or annual leave, then you would be out of luck. I don't understand the gender imbalance you are trying to draw here.

+1. The dude has to use his own sick leave too.

[Anonymous]

In this situation, I agree with your DH. I would think you were being selfish and greedy by asking me (or others) to donate your hard-earned leave so that you could get more pay when you knew you were pregnant for 9 months AND started a new job in that time.

[Anonymous]

I was a fed during my first pregnancy and didn’t have much leave - boss and coworkers offered to give leave but I chose not to (agency allows it without medical mention). It just didn’t feel right - I know of folks with terminal illnesses and cancer and having to take care of sick family that need it. I ended up w blood loss and csection and complications and took even more unpaid leave which affected my step and grade increase. Still happy with my decision to not take from others that needed it. I judge ppl that choose to do this and folks talk in an agency.