Kids don’t want to play with neighbors grandson

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m guessing you’ll be dealing with this multiple times a year if you don’t sort it out right now.

I’d go over and tell them firmly that if the kid annoys you again by knocking on the door to ask something irrelevant or entering your home uninvited or interrupting your kids game, you will instruct your kids to not talk to him or play with him at all.

Tell the grandparents that the boy clearly needs a lot more supervision than other kids his age because he doesn’t play in a typical way and that the grandparents can’t just send him out to play with the others anymore, they need to mind him themselves.

I can just see the grandparents reporting back to the parents that everything was great, he was out playing with neighborhood kids all day every day, kid had a ball, and the kid will be there again before you know it.

You sound awful!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m guessing you’ll be dealing with this multiple times a year if you don’t sort it out right now.

I’d go over and tell them firmly that if the kid annoys you again by knocking on the door to ask something irrelevant or entering your home uninvited or interrupting your kids game, you will instruct your kids to not talk to him or play with him at all.

Tell the grandparents that the boy clearly needs a lot more supervision than other kids his age because he doesn’t play in a typical way and that the grandparents can’t just send him out to play with the others anymore, they need to mind him themselves.

I can just see the grandparents reporting back to the parents that everything was great, he was out playing with neighborhood kids all day every day, kid had a ball, and the kid will be there again before you know it.

I am guessing this is a troll poster.

[Anonymous]

Walking into people's houses uninvited and unexpected is really dangerous behavior--some people have guns. Some people have dogs. You may want to point that out to the grandparents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also have a child with special needs, which are speech and language based. He attends an inclusive SN pre-school with NT kids and kids who have much more profound needs. Guess what - everyone there adopts an attitude of kindness and taking care of each other. Couldn't you teach your children to try to be a bit more accommodating and kind? These are your neighbors and he is a neighborhood child. Try to take better care of each other. He should not be bothering YOU, and that is a boundary issue for the care giver, but I think it is awful to teach your kids to avoid or ignore him - truly awful. Have a conversation with them about inclusion and help them think of some ways they can all have fun.

Teaching children to be kind is important. However, don’t teach them to be inclusive at all costs. They are children and should be able to express and pursue their wants and needs as well.

Where did I say "inclusion at all costs?" The child is different. It's good for kids to be able to handle situations where people are different. How about saying kindly, "sorry Larlo, we are playing football right now and we don't want to change the game. Do you want to be the scorekeeper?" Or whatever. Be kind. Instead OP is teaching her kids that the child is annoying and to ignore him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m guessing you’ll be dealing with this multiple times a year if you don’t sort it out right now.

I’d go over and tell them firmly that if the kid annoys you again by knocking on the door to ask something irrelevant or entering your home uninvited or interrupting your kids game, you will instruct your kids to not talk to him or play with him at all.

Tell the grandparents that the boy clearly needs a lot more supervision than other kids his age because he doesn’t play in a typical way and that the grandparents can’t just send him out to play with the others anymore, they need to mind him themselves.

I can just see the grandparents reporting back to the parents that everything was great, he was out playing with neighborhood kids all day every day, kid had a ball, and the kid will be there again before you know it.

You sound awful!

Let me guess. You’re a “but it takes a village!” person.

There’s no reason why OP and her kids should need to babysit him. The grandparents signed up for it, they can’t just arrogantly wash their hands of him and make him the whole neighborhood’s problem.

I was mildly sympathetic until they laughed off OP’s concerns. Not okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My child has special needs and I feel for this boy and his grandparents, who were probably brought up in the "mental illness is taboo" culture and will never want to talk to you about his issues. They may also be in denial themselves.

Tell him firmly that he is not allowed to walk into your garage or your house unless he is invited to come in. Be specific, in case he needs specifics. Always be kind. You can be firm, you can be direct, you can avoid him, but please be proactive and tell your children to always be polite, never mean and report to you any instance of other kids being mean. I've seen so many children tease or bully SN kids because they didn't know how to handle differences. Kids need to be explicitly told these things. My neighbor's son bullied mine all throughout 3rd grade until I put a stop to it.

If he starts behavior like stopping a group game outside, one of the kids needs to tell his grandparents, and they need to come out and redirect him.

How do you suggest that she and the kids “ignore him” “kindly”, when he comes pounding on her door every single day and he lives next door? Let alone the interrupting adults all the time when he hears that they’re around and bathing into their home.

Genuinely curious. Most of the time “kindly” implies white lies. Which aren’t possible when he lives next door.

[Anonymous]

Oops - bathing/barging

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m guessing you’ll be dealing with this multiple times a year if you don’t sort it out right now.

I’d go over and tell them firmly that if the kid annoys you again by knocking on the door to ask something irrelevant or entering your home uninvited or interrupting your kids game, you will instruct your kids to not talk to him or play with him at all.

Tell the grandparents that the boy clearly needs a lot more supervision than other kids his age because he doesn’t play in a typical way and that the grandparents can’t just send him out to play with the others anymore, they need to mind him themselves.

I can just see the grandparents reporting back to the parents that everything was great, he was out playing with neighborhood kids all day every day, kid had a ball, and the kid will be there again before you know it.

You sound awful!

Let me guess. You’re a “but it takes a village!” person.

There’s no reason why OP and her kids should need to babysit him. The grandparents signed up for it, they can’t just arrogantly wash their hands of him and make him the whole neighborhood’s problem.

I was mildly sympathetic until they laughed off OP’s concerns. Not okay.

Yes, he's technically old enough to be out by himself. But not behaviorally with the examples OP cited. Grandparents need to supervise and do something. It's not OP's job to be parenting an extra temporary kid because the grandparents don't.

[Anonymous]

OP, why don't you lock your doors and take your kids elsewhere, such as the pool or library for a few days? Your kids can still do things while avoiding the disruptive neighbor kid. That kid will find someone else to bother or eventually go home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Walking into people's houses uninvited and unexpected is really dangerous behavior--some people have guns. Some people have dogs. You may want to point that out to the grandparents.

I would be stern with any kid who walked into my house uninvited. “Larlo that is not allowed and it’s a big deal. Because you walked into the house without knocking you cannot play with my kids today. Go home.”

If his grandparents try to come talk to you, just smile and say this a rule you have for every kid who comes to your house. Everyone must knock or tell you
they’re coming ahead of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, why don't you lock your doors and take your kids elsewhere, such as the pool or library for a few days? Your kids can still do things while avoiding the disruptive neighbor kid. That kid will find someone else to bother or eventually go home.

Umm because OP and her kids live there? Why should they need to leave their home for several days? That’s crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My child has special needs and I feel for this boy and his grandparents, who were probably brought up in the "mental illness is taboo" culture and will never want to talk to you about his issues. They may also be in denial themselves.

Tell him firmly that he is not allowed to walk into your garage or your house unless he is invited to come in. Be specific, in case he needs specifics. Always be kind. You can be firm, you can be direct, you can avoid him, but please be proactive and tell your children to always be polite, never mean and report to you any instance of other kids being mean. I've seen so many children tease or bully SN kids because they didn't know how to handle differences. Kids need to be explicitly told these things. My neighbor's son bullied mine all throughout 3rd grade until I put a stop to it.

If he starts behavior like stopping a group game outside, one of the kids needs to tell his grandparents, and they need to come out and redirect him.

How do you suggest that she and the kids “ignore him” “kindly”, when he comes pounding on her door every single day and he lives next door? Let alone the interrupting adults all the time when he hears that they’re around and bathing into their home.

Genuinely curious. Most of the time “kindly” implies white lies. Which aren’t possible when he lives next door.

Just answer the door and say the kids cannot play right now - why is that so hard for you OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m guessing you’ll be dealing with this multiple times a year if you don’t sort it out right now.

I’d go over and tell them firmly that if the kid annoys you again by knocking on the door to ask something irrelevant or entering your home uninvited or interrupting your kids game, you will instruct your kids to not talk to him or play with him at all.

Tell the grandparents that the boy clearly needs a lot more supervision than other kids his age because he doesn’t play in a typical way and that the grandparents can’t just send him out to play with the others anymore, they need to mind him themselves.

I can just see the grandparents reporting back to the parents that everything was great, he was out playing with neighborhood kids all day every day, kid had a ball, and the kid will be there again before you know it.

You sound awful!

Let me guess. You’re a “but it takes a village!” person.

There’s no reason why OP and her kids should need to babysit him. The grandparents signed up for it, they can’t just arrogantly wash their hands of him and make him the whole neighborhood’s problem.

I was mildly sympathetic until they laughed off OP’s concerns. Not okay.

Nope, but I do work with SN kids and have raised my children to be compassionate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m guessing you’ll be dealing with this multiple times a year if you don’t sort it out right now.

I’d go over and tell them firmly that if the kid annoys you again by knocking on the door to ask something irrelevant or entering your home uninvited or interrupting your kids game, you will instruct your kids to not talk to him or play with him at all.

Tell the grandparents that the boy clearly needs a lot more supervision than other kids his age because he doesn’t play in a typical way and that the grandparents can’t just send him out to play with the others anymore, they need to mind him themselves.

I can just see the grandparents reporting back to the parents that everything was great, he was out playing with neighborhood kids all day every day, kid had a ball, and the kid will be there again before you know it.

You sound awful!

Let me guess. You’re a “but it takes a village!” person.

There’s no reason why OP and her kids should need to babysit him. The grandparents signed up for it, they can’t just arrogantly wash their hands of him and make him the whole neighborhood’s problem.

I was mildly sympathetic until they laughed off OP’s concerns. Not okay.

Nope, but I do work with SN kids and have raised my children to be compassionate.

Your kids would not want to play with a boy who kept intercepting their football and throwing it across the street.
Your kids would not want to play with a boy who whines incessantly that he didn’t want to play what all of the other kids were playing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m guessing you’ll be dealing with this multiple times a year if you don’t sort it out right now.

I’d go over and tell them firmly that if the kid annoys you again by knocking on the door to ask something irrelevant or entering your home uninvited or interrupting your kids game, you will instruct your kids to not talk to him or play with him at all.

Tell the grandparents that the boy clearly needs a lot more supervision than other kids his age because he doesn’t play in a typical way and that the grandparents can’t just send him out to play with the others anymore, they need to mind him themselves.

I can just see the grandparents reporting back to the parents that everything was great, he was out playing with neighborhood kids all day every day, kid had a ball, and the kid will be there again before you know it.

You sound awful!

Let me guess. You’re a “but it takes a village!” person.

There’s no reason why OP and her kids should need to babysit him. The grandparents signed up for it, they can’t just arrogantly wash their hands of him and make him the whole neighborhood’s problem.

I was mildly sympathetic until they laughed off OP’s concerns. Not okay.

Nope, but I do work with SN kids and have raised my children to be compassionate.

Your kids would not want to play with a boy who kept intercepting their football and throwing it across the street.
Your kids would not want to play with a boy who whines incessantly that he didn’t want to play what all of the other kids were playing.

I’m not the pp but you are wrong. YOUR kids would not want to play under such circumstances. Children taught compassion learn how to adapt to children who have a hard time fitting in. Sadly, very few kids are raised with compassion.