Please, don’t take away a play date with my kid as a consequence

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your friend actually did the right thing. I had a hard time disciplining our kids because there was always an activity coming up and I didn't want to disappoint the other kid by cancelling. In hindsight, it would have worked much better for my kids to experience an immediate consequence of not getting to do something they really wanted to do.

No, she didn’t. She flaked out on parenting.

Hard disagree. You "flake" when you plan to meet up for drinks and at the last minute say you can't do it. She's parenting her kids the best way she can. Yes, it stinks for OP, but I bet it stinks as much, if not more, for the other mom. OP can still take her kids to the destination and even make it a teachable moment. "I'm sorry, Larla, but Larlo isn't able to come to the playdate because he made bad choices" or however you want to word it. It would help if OP gave us ages and other details, but I get it if she doesn't want to out the other mom.

[Anonymous]

Agreed.

It’s lazy parenting. And if the kid is young enough for a parent attended play date, the consequence is too far removed to be effective anyways. That said, there are lots of bad parents out there.

[Anonymous]

My kid is 4.5 and her kid is 5. We, the parents, were involved because we were going on a big outing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is 4.5 and her kid is 5. We, the parents, were involved because we were going on a big outing.

I don’t get it. What’s preventing you from not going with your child and husband?

[Anonymous]

My kids didn’t care if I took other things away, but the lose of a play date was a good threat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is 4.5 and her kid is 5. We, the parents, were involved because we were going on a big outing.

I don’t get it. What’s preventing you from not going with your child and husband?

We are going because I already told my child about it, but I might try to convince my son to do something else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is 4.5 and her kid is 5. We, the parents, were involved because we were going on a big outing.

I don’t get it. What’s preventing you from not going with your child and husband?

We are going because I already told my child about it, but I might try to convince my son to do something else.

Why wouldn't you jut tell him that plans changed because Johnny can't come anymore so you aren't going to x place anymore tomorrow. Change is part of life and learning to deal with disappointment is part of learning to be a resilient and strong human.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid is 4.5 and her kid is 5. We, the parents, were involved because we were going on a big outing.

I don’t get it. What’s preventing you from not going with your child and husband?

We are going because I already told my child about it, but I might try to convince my son to do something else.

Why wouldn't you jut tell him that plans changed because Johnny can't come anymore so you aren't going to x place anymore tomorrow. Change is part of life and learning to deal with disappointment is part of learning to be a resilient and strong human.

I want to go too. I wanted to go with my friend more, but I don’t want to cancel altogether.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agreed.

It’s lazy parenting. And if the kid is young enough for a parent attended play date, the consequence is too far removed to be effective anyways. That said, there are lots of bad parents out there.

x1000000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a playdate FFS not a wedding. They're kids and a postponed playdate should not be a big deal to either you or your child.

Yep!! Either OP or her kid cared too much about this play date to begin with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agreed.

It’s lazy parenting. And if the kid is young enough for a parent attended play date, the consequence is too far removed to be effective anyways. That said, there are lots of bad parents out there.

x1000000

It’s lazy and often done out of anger.

Terrible parenting move.

[Anonymous]

I just had a mom get VERY upset that I canceled plans with her and her daughter. It was weird.

[Anonymous]

I get that it’s frustrating, but you’re making it into a bigger deal than it need to be.

[Anonymous]

Go yourself. It sounds like this was a more you, the mom than your child or her or her kid.

[Anonymous]

OP, I get that it sucks but I have a kid whose behavior turns sour quickly. It’s just as bad for me, because I feel horrible for cancelling (or if we go through with it, I spend the whole time worrying).

If you don’t have a kid like this, you won’t understand.