Women enslaved to their sons.

[Anonymous]

https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2017/05/05/its-becoming-more-common-for-young-adults-to-live-at-home-and-for-longer-stretches/

The percentages are pretty high, in fact, and the above contains Census data.

[Anonymous]

I have 2 mid 20's boys. Both graduated from college and beyond and live out of the house. I think work ethic needs to start YOUNG. My kids worked a summer job from around age 15 and always worked summers while in college. My DH and I paid for college, but all extras were on them. I was a SAHM so we never outsourced much. Cue: Your dad is traveling this week so you need to mow the lawn and they always had indoor cleaning chores. I am baffled when parents don't expect their kids to work a summer job or have chores in the house.

OP: Regarding the kids you speak about, who is bankrolling their lifestyle? Is Dad in the picture?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2017/05/05/its-becoming-more-common-for-young-adults-to-live-at-home-and-for-longer-stretches/

The percentages are pretty high, in fact, and the above contains Census data.

Living at home isn't what OP is talking about. She's also says they are unemployed, don't drive, and have their mommies pick them up in the middle of the night from their playdates. That's definitely more rare.

[Anonymous]

The only times I've seen this have been in family's with rigid gender roles and the mother usually stayed home and didn't socialize much, especially not on her own. The children became her primary source of meaning and socialization. Usually, the marriage isn't that great and the attention the mother isn't getting she gets from having her son around. She also doesn't have faith that the son would "do well" or survive out in the real world marketplace because he lacks drive, social/real-life skills, and that he probably wouldn't come back if he ever did leave because they don't have much of a genuine relationship-it is codependent.

[Anonymous]

I know a ton of 20-somethings at home but they are not all boys... lots of girls too, pregnant...drug abusers... also ones just trying to get by... working in low paying jobs (waitress/hostess/retail) trying to get a certification of some sort... like paralegal or dental assistant.

It's not as easy as you think to raise kids, shit happens... I don't know one family from my youth that doesn't have 1 kid with issues.

[Anonymous]

My son is 14 and has diagnosed ADHD and learning disabilities, and is probably on the autism spectrum (not diagnosed yet). I have been working since he was a toddler on is social skills, his practical life skills, his language, coordination, organization, time management. It's incredibly hard work, and he is far from becoming independent.

Perhaps these women you know have similar sons, except they were never diagnosed, and now they don't even realize how abnormal this is, and how obviously their children need mental health evaluations and treatment.

Anyway. I suggest you find yourself more functional friends, honestly, because this is going to become depressing real fast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 2 mid 20's boys. Both graduated from college and beyond and live out of the house. I think work ethic needs to start YOUNG. My kids worked a summer job from around age 15 and always worked summers while in college. My DH and I paid for college, but all extras were on them. I was a SAHM so we never outsourced much. Cue: Your dad is traveling this week so you need to mow the lawn and they always had indoor cleaning chores. I am baffled when parents don't expect their kids to work a summer job or have chores in the house.

OP: Regarding the kids you speak about, who is bankrolling their lifestyle? Is Dad in the picture?

Really now? Mid 20s are men not boys. Stop infantilizing your sons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 2 mid 20's boys. Both graduated from college and beyond and live out of the house. I think work ethic needs to start YOUNG. My kids worked a summer job from around age 15 and always worked summers while in college. My DH and I paid for college, but all extras were on them. I was a SAHM so we never outsourced much. Cue: Your dad is traveling this week so you need to mow the lawn and they always had indoor cleaning chores. I am baffled when parents don't expect their kids to work a summer job or have chores in the house.

OP: Regarding the kids you speak about, who is bankrolling their lifestyle? Is Dad in the picture?

Really now? Mid 20s are men not boys. Stop infantilizing your sons.

DP. My boys will always be my boys. So will my girls.

[Anonymous]

The numbers say there are about equal number of women and men living at home 21-32. It’s about 25%. It is interesting that males are viewed in a negative light. Maybe it’s because women have no societal pressure to be productive/earn. They can stay at home and live off the parents with no negative impacts.

Wonder why? I have friends’ who have grown children living at home or similar to what OP describes. No one talks bad about the females only the males.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 2 mid 20's boys. Both graduated from college and beyond and live out of the house. I think work ethic needs to start YOUNG. My kids worked a summer job from around age 15 and always worked summers while in college. My DH and I paid for college, but all extras were on them. I was a SAHM so we never outsourced much. Cue: Your dad is traveling this week so you need to mow the lawn and they always had indoor cleaning chores. I am baffled when parents don't expect their kids to work a summer job or have chores in the house.

OP: Regarding the kids you speak about, who is bankrolling their lifestyle? Is Dad in the picture?

Really now? Mid 20s are men not boys. Stop infantilizing your sons.

DP. My boys will always be my boys. So will my girls.

No matter what you say, they are men and women unless your “girls” are under 18.
I have two girls 7 and 1. THEY ARE GIRLS. and one day they will be women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 2 mid 20's boys. Both graduated from college and beyond and live out of the house. I think work ethic needs to start YOUNG. My kids worked a summer job from around age 15 and always worked summers while in college. My DH and I paid for college, but all extras were on them. I was a SAHM so we never outsourced much. Cue: Your dad is traveling this week so you need to mow the lawn and they always had indoor cleaning chores. I am baffled when parents don't expect their kids to work a summer job or have chores in the house.

OP: Regarding the kids you speak about, who is bankrolling their lifestyle? Is Dad in the picture?

Really now? Mid 20s are men not boys. Stop infantilizing your sons.

DP. My boys will always be my boys. So will my girls.

No matter what you say, they are men and women unless your “girls” are under 18.
I have two girls 7 and 1. THEY ARE GIRLS. and one day they will be women.

It’s fine if you are WASPY and not close to your family but some people are close. No reason to put it down.

[Anonymous]

My cousin is a female who is like this. She suffers from some severe mental health problems though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 2 mid 20's boys. Both graduated from college and beyond and live out of the house. I think work ethic needs to start YOUNG. My kids worked a summer job from around age 15 and always worked summers while in college. My DH and I paid for college, but all extras were on them. I was a SAHM so we never outsourced much. Cue: Your dad is traveling this week so you need to mow the lawn and they always had indoor cleaning chores. I am baffled when parents don't expect their kids to work a summer job or have chores in the house.

OP: Regarding the kids you speak about, who is bankrolling their lifestyle? Is Dad in the picture?

Really now? Mid 20s are men not boys. Stop infantilizing your sons.

DP. My boys will always be my boys. So will my girls.

No matter what you say, they are men and women unless your “girls” are under 18.
I have two girls 7 and 1. THEY ARE GIRLS. and one day they will be women.

It’s fine if you are WASPY and not close to your family but some people are close. No reason to put it down.

We are actually very close, but we also know the difference between a baby, toddler, young child, tween, teen, and adult. As well as female/male child.

[Anonymous]

I am the pp who called her sons boys? My mistake, sorry this thread took THE TURN.

[Anonymous]

My sons are 22, 20, and 18 and I know no one whose relationships resembles what you describe. Not even remotely.