Women enslaved to their sons.

[Anonymous]

I'm in my 40s. When I was around that age 18-21 - if a young man had not gone to college or joined a trade, he joined the military.

I feel like there are more options now - not just joining a trade, but also community college, which is super cheap. I don't know why parents can't just push their kids into these options.

[Anonymous]

OP, I do know some people like that, and the mothers are not "enslaved". They choose to live this way, and their sons choose to allow it because they have no self-pride. They are not men, in my opinion. I have always thought that mothers should push their children out of their nests as soon as possible. One of my sons is a Type 1 Diabetic, diagnosed at age 12. He is 24 and does professional Line Clearance. When your power is out, he is one of the men who has to cut the trees off the lines. They are called out for a lot of storm damage.
We live a thousand miles apart. He is slowly dying, but he will certainly do what he wants with his life in the meantime, because he takes pride in his hard work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where’s dad in all this? What’s his role?

Great question. No real man is going to let his son grow up to be a mamma's boy. That shit is embarrassing. How would a man feel if her comes home from work and sees his son laying around, eating up all the food you bought, basically living off you. Dad is either checked out or not in the boy's life. Or may be a boy himself and not a man.

Agreed. Why are men allowing this dysfunction?

They don’t want to break up their family. Often the other children aren’t enmeshed.

Yeah my dad had me because my brother was already enmeshed. His genes must have done a good job this time, because I wanted out asap after college. Took my older aiing much longer.

[Anonymous]

It's a cultural thing with some Jewish, Middle Eastern and Chinese moms who value males above all else. They expect their girls to go out and work and for the boys to be home with "mama".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I do know some people like that, and the mothers are not "enslaved". They choose to live this way, and their sons choose to allow it because they have no self-pride. They are not men, in my opinion. I have always thought that mothers should push their children out of their nests as soon as possible. One of my sons is a Type 1 Diabetic, diagnosed at age 12. He is 24 and does professional Line Clearance. When your power is out, he is one of the men who has to cut the trees off the lines. They are called out for a lot of storm damage.
We live a thousand miles apart. He is slowly dying, but he will certainly do what he wants with his life in the meantime, because he takes pride in his hard work.

Are the mothers not women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just wondering if any other women in my age group (40s) have observed this among their peers. I work with a number of doting mothers who have millennial aged sons with various undiagnosed "problems". The young men live at home and seem to be incapable of fending for themselves. All are avid gamers, none work, none can drive, mother does everything for them. It was just today when I was having lunch with a colleague and she told me how tired she was because little (21 year old) Johnny's gaming session at a friend's house didn't end until 2am and she had to pick him up that I realised how many women I know are in this exact same situation with their sons. None of them complain really, they speak with concern about the anxiety or whatever else could possibly be wrong with their boys, and they are always so worried about causing the poor things stress, they can't push them to change, what if it makes them worse? I will emphasise here, it does not sound like there is anything so terribly wrong with these young men that they need to sit at home all the time and be waited on, all completed normal schooling then just didn't do anything with their lives.

So just in my work circle alone I count 5 women with these useless man children (one of them has 2), but I am yet to meet a woman who is held hostage by a daughter. What are your experiences? What the hell is going on?

I've been very close with two women who each have a son that fits this exact description. Bio dads not in the picture. They sat on the computer playing games 12 hours a day, sometimes 16 while mom waits on them and refuses to make them grow up. To see it is to witness a type of insanity and delayed adulthood that is enabled by mom. Those boys need nothing more than a swift kick in the ass and to be cut off from the internet. Both the young men I know snapped out of it, or at least got full time employment and a relationship with a woman in their early 30s, and both are still big time gamers. This is part of the generation of men being raised that is out there today. Most of them couldn't check their own oil or do 1/4th of the things that young men were expected to do in generations before them. It's entitlement at it's worst by a single, enabling parent. And yes, in the one family there is a younger daughter who is nothing like her brother and can't understand it.