Husband is a financial liability

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you make more he can get alimony and child support in a divorce l.

Yup. I get it. But he’s gettin it anyway. Just by staying married. And yes/no. His waking out on jobs & higher earning potential do play a factor. You can’t be an MD, work at great clips- then claim you make $30,000 a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He makes $120k and your complaining!!! Sounds more like spending issues than saving...who is the spender in the family, who pays the mortgage? Bills? What are the largest expenses?

I make $120, teaching!

So...together you make $240k and you want to divorce over more $$$. Wow!

He doesn’t make 120. He makes, maybe 50. Which honestly almost covers his loans.

$170k is still a lot of money. How old is your child? What are the primary expenses?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you make more he can get alimony and child support in a divorce l.

Yup. I get it. But he’s gettin it anyway. Just by staying married. And yes/no. His waking out on jobs & higher earning potential do play a factor. You can’t be an MD, work at great clips- then claim you make $30,000 a year.

Is he actually getting current offers? I doubt it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Didn’t you know he had loans when you married and had a kid?

Yes. I feel like most folks have school loans. What I didn’t know is that he’d defer then for 3 years (which increased then frantically) & that our kid would have severe SN, that would require a lifetime of support. Support- that we’ll have to provide for

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Didn’t you know he had loans when you married and had a kid?

Yes. I feel like most folks have school loans. What I didn’t know is that he’d defer then for 3 years (which increased then frantically) & that our kid would have severe SN, that would require a lifetime of support. Support- that we’ll have to provide for

How long did you date before marrying? I have a hard time understanding why you didn’t have a clear picture of his financial situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He makes $120k and your complaining!!! Sounds more like spending issues than saving...who is the spender in the family, who pays the mortgage? Bills? What are the largest expenses?

I make $120, teaching!

So...together you make $240k and you want to divorce over more $$$. Wow!

He doesn’t make 120. He makes, maybe 50. Which honestly almost covers his loans.

$170k is still a lot of money. How old is your child? What are the primary expenses?

His loans are $1600 a month. Mine are $600. House & house ‘stuff’ usually run $2500-3000.
I do $500 month into my sons 529 ABLE account, & $300 into 403b.
Only other major expenses are between 2-300 for cell phones, Hulu ect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He makes $120k and your complaining!!! Sounds more like spending issues than saving...who is the spender in the family, who pays the mortgage? Bills? What are the largest expenses?

I make $120, teaching!

So...together you make $240k and you want to divorce over more $$$. Wow!

He doesn’t make 120. He makes, maybe 50. Which honestly almost covers his loans.

$170k is still a lot of money. How old is your child? What are the primary expenses?

His loans are $1600 a month. Mine are $600. House & house ‘stuff’ usually run $2500-3000.
I do $500 month into my sons 529 ABLE account, & $300 into 403b.
Only other major expenses are between 2-300 for cell phones, Hulu ect.

I’d concentrate on having a budget rather than focusing on him making more money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Didn’t you know he had loans when you married and had a kid?

Yes. I feel like most folks have school loans. What I didn’t know is that he’d defer then for 3 years (which increased then frantically) & that our kid would have severe SN, that would require a lifetime of support. Support- that we’ll have to provide for

How long did you date before marrying? I have a hard time understanding why you didn’t have a clear picture of his financial situation.

Nearly 2 years. Yup, I own this. Truthfully. & FWIW I was never planning on having kids with him. But we did. And it changed the ballgame.

[Anonymous]

Something is not adding up...take home should be about $10k a month. You have less than $6500 in expenses listed

[Anonymous]

He makes 50K as a contractor with a law degree? I call BS.

So you have separate finances as a married couple? Why? It's all marital property as far as VA is concerned. Did he go to law school while you were married? Because guess what, that debt could be considered marital debt too.

Do you have a financial planner? You should get one before you seriously consider divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He makes 50K as a contractor with a law degree? I call BS.

So you have separate finances as a married couple? Why? It's all marital property as far as VA is concerned. Did he go to law school while you were married? Because guess what, that debt could be considered marital debt too.

Do you have a financial planner? You should get one before you seriously consider divorce.

You can calm it whatever you want- but it’s what it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Something is not adding up...take home should be about $10k a month. You have less than $6500 in expenses listed

Oh, it’s definitely not. My take home is about $5000 a month. Once the savings, health care, taxes, commuter benefits, pension contributions are taken out. His fluctuates between 2-3 a month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He makes 50K as a contractor with a law degree? I call BS.

So you have separate finances as a married couple? Why? It's all marital property as far as VA is concerned. Did he go to law school while you were married? Because guess what, that debt could be considered marital debt too.

Do you have a financial planner? You should get one before you seriously consider divorce.

You can call it whatever you want- but it’s what it is.
& no- he went to law school before we met. And yes- finances are separate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Didn’t you know he had loans when you married and had a kid?

Yes. I feel like most folks have school loans. What I didn’t know is that he’d defer then for 3 years (which increased then frantically) & that our kid would have severe SN, that would require a lifetime of support. Support- that we’ll have to provide for

You are out of touch with reality. No, not most folks have school loans. My husband and I didn't have school loans when we got married. He paid off his loans before he turned 30, and I never have one to begin with. All of our kids went to colleges (private and public) on full scholarships, one got a grant for his master degree too.

Then, I don't know how old your child is, but, considering that both of you are older parents, I think it was very reasonable to expect that there is a high risk to have a child with a SN.
Why are you acting like you are surprised now?

[Anonymous]

I’m not surprised. I’m trying to plan. And yes- my husbands old age definitely had something to do with our sons TBI. Direct correlation