Son doesn't want to come home for Easter because we won't visit him in his new house

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A 7 hr drive is a lot, so I can understand why you haven't been able to visit, and I also understand why he and his wife aren't up for making the trip again. Both of you have reasonable positions--I don't think it's a cause for being upset on either side, even if it's disappointing he isn't coming for Easter. It's clear they want you to visit, so you should try to find a time this spring when you can.

I think OP is selfish. There are other options. She can get a cheap flight for less than 2 hours, including security check. She's got her reasons for not going, and 7 hr drive probably is not one of the reasons.

[Anonymous]

There are three airports here and you can get anywhere that is a 7 hour drive in about an hour or two on the plane. Go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are wrong. Go visit the kid.

+2

[Anonymous]

The rare DCUM consensus!

[Anonymous]

Wow, my parents immediately came to see our new home and they worked full time. You’re really lame for not visiting them. I would buy a house warming gift and fly out.

[Anonymous]

Unless you have a pretty severe illness or health issue in play, a 7-hour car trip is not a big deal, at all.

I have an uncle with very advanced Parkinsons, and he and my aunt visit both their daughters in different states, and make many road trips for family events.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, my parents immediately came to see our new home and they worked full time. You’re really lame for not visiting them. I would buy a house warming gift and fly out.

And I bet son and DIL both work FT too. OP, you are in the wrong.

[Anonymous]

OP, you son is “home” — at his home.

[Anonymous]

You are wrong in many ways. Yes, I understand when your mother was in the hospital, especially if you had to go in and out to deal with all of the assorted life issues. We had to help my sister in a like situation and it did require daily visits with doctors, therapists, financial aid, finding the right specialists and the right assisted living that accommodated her needs.

However, once your mother moved to assisted living, you should have prioritized your son and made it happen. Your husband is semi-retired and you work part-time and you couldn't make it happen? That's the final stroke to why he is so hurt. So, you work Sundays. So what? Why don't you fly down on Thursday afternoon (flights are cheaper anyways), have dinner Thursday, spend some time around their town on Friday, have a nice brunch, have dinner Friday, enjoy spending time on Saturday and fly back Saturday evening? Then you're home for work on Sunday.

If this doesn't work, find a way to make it work. You've spent the last several months blowing your son off and you're surprised that he's hurt and doesn't want to come back a third time in that same time when you've made no effort to think of him during this time? You haven't been a very good mother for several months. Time to step up and do the right thing. If you don't make it happen before then go down Easter weekend. I doubt you're working on Easter Sunday.

[Anonymous]

You are in the wrong here.
Case closed.

[Anonymous]

You need to go visit him. However, I take great issue with this PP's comment:

You need to make it happen. If your mom is in the hospital, there’s not really much you can do for her is there? There are nurses and doctors.

When your parent or child is in the hospital, you visit them, keep them company, bring them real food, and be there to help advocate for them with busy hospital staff. You don't abandon your loved one at low point.

[Anonymous]

Wow. You feel sad and overwhelmed about your mom and want comfort from your son. But he’s very busy. No one is in the wrong. Can you fly out ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you son is “home” — at his home.

YUP.

[Anonymous]

You need to go visit him.

[Anonymous]

Agree with everyone. Also he’s awesome for being so honest about what’s wrong and clearly outlining the solution for you. He’s busy too and he makes time to see you. He’s proud of his house and wants to share it with you. Go.