Baby sitter’s daughter looks like DHs side of the family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assumed troll, but I’ll bite as a redhead. All of my 4 siblings are redheads. My parents are both more Auburn. They obviously both carried the redhead gene. None of my 4 children are redheads. I’ve even got a toe head blondie.

Genetics isn’t that simple.

OP here. Not a hint of red? I’m not used to redheads but every time I see them, the whole family has a tinge.

It could be coincidental. You would only know from dna because your husband wouldn't admit it, neither would the babysitter.

[Anonymous]

Well, if you really want to know, there are ways of collecting DNA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They adopted their own child and this was the babysitter from what I read. Maybe not a current one, but they are still in contact...maybe...My niece invited her old babysitter to her wedding.

OP can you clarify? And what do you mean you're not "paranoid"? I would dna that kid so fast it would make your head spin, lol...if the resemblance was that similar.

Our child is adopted. Years ago I would have done DNA right away, but honestly now, I am reluctant. My head is racing. Thinking about things like property being split and so in. Our own child’s inheritance. I simply don’t want to know. However I might not be totally in control of that. BTW it’s not just hair color, it’s complexion.

Wait. So you think that possibly your infertile 51 year old husband slept with the 19 year old babysitter and knocked her up, and produced a genetic twin to his mom that nobody's told you about?
And y'all are wealthy enough that you're scared to lose your inheritance for your adopted kid, but not wealthy enough that this babysitter isn't going to sue for paternity testing / DNA / child support and 1/2 of everything?

What is so remarkable about her kid's complexion, unless he's a different race and the kid's alleged dad isn't?

Why would the babysitter not agree / admit if there's inheritance / $ / property / child support involved?

[Anonymous]

There are paternity test kits from reliable labs. I would want to know OP, it's stressed you out. You don't have to get divorced, but may help you plan your life a little more strategically. imo not knowing is more stressful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assumed troll, but I’ll bite as a redhead. All of my 4 siblings are redheads. My parents are both more Auburn. They obviously both carried the redhead gene. None of my 4 children are redheads. I’ve even got a toe head blondie.

Genetics isn’t that simple.

+1

In order to produce a redhead, you need red hair on both sides of the family.

Even then, it's a roll of the dice - both of my parents were redheads, and I'm the only one of their six kids with red hair. Both DH and I are redheads, as are both of our children.

I know a family where the kid has *flaming* red hair, and neither of the parents are redheads. My grandmother had raven-black hair and my grandfather had red hair. Half their kids have red hair, the other half don't. None of their grandchildren have red hair. Recessive genes are weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They adopted their own child and this was the babysitter from what I read. Maybe not a current one, but they are still in contact...maybe...My niece invited her old babysitter to her wedding.

OP can you clarify? And what do you mean you're not "paranoid"? I would dna that kid so fast it would make your head spin, lol...if the resemblance was that similar.

If someone ran a DNA test on my kid without my permission, I would come down on them like a ton of bricks.

Also, if the babysitter isn't claiming that your husband fathered her child, which is apparently what you think happened, then why would you do so?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They adopted their own child and this was the babysitter from what I read. Maybe not a current one, but they are still in contact...maybe...My niece invited her old babysitter to her wedding.

OP can you clarify? And what do you mean you're not "paranoid"? I would dna that kid so fast it would make your head spin, lol...if the resemblance was that similar.

Our child is adopted. Years ago I would have done DNA right away, but honestly now, I am reluctant. My head is racing. Thinking about things like property being split and so in. Our own child’s inheritance. I simply don’t want to know. However I might not be totally in control of that. BTW it’s not just hair color, it’s complexion.

So? Many redheads have similar complexions. You're a drama queen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They adopted their own child and this was the babysitter from what I read. Maybe not a current one, but they are still in contact...maybe...My niece invited her old babysitter to her wedding.

OP can you clarify? And what do you mean you're not "paranoid"? I would dna that kid so fast it would make your head spin, lol...if the resemblance was that similar.

Our child is adopted. Years ago I would have done DNA right away, but honestly now, I am reluctant. My head is racing. Thinking about things like property being split and so in. Our own child’s inheritance. I simply don’t want to know. However I might not be totally in control of that. BTW it’s not just hair color, it’s complexion.

Wait. So you think that possibly your infertile 51 year old husband slept with the 19 year old babysitter and knocked her up, and produced a genetic twin to his mom that nobody's told you about?
And y'all are wealthy enough that you're scared to lose your inheritance for your adopted kid, but not wealthy enough that this babysitter isn't going to sue for paternity testing / DNA / child support and 1/2 of everything?

What is so remarkable about her kid's complexion, unless he's a different race and the kid's alleged dad isn't?

Why would the babysitter not agree / admit if there's inheritance / $ / property / child support involved?

What's there not to understand? If she finds out the kid is his and they divorce it will affect her lifestyle. Even if this is the bio child there appears to be another man on the birth certificate. Legally her husband will never be the legal father. That envelope of time has passed. In short the babysitter can't get child support. They are retirement age, not a good time to divorce for most.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They adopted their own child and this was the babysitter from what I read. Maybe not a current one, but they are still in contact...maybe...My niece invited her old babysitter to her wedding.

OP can you clarify? And what do you mean you're not "paranoid"? I would dna that kid so fast it would make your head spin, lol...if the resemblance was that similar.

If someone ran a DNA test on my kid without my permission, I would come down on them like a ton of bricks.

Also, if the babysitter isn't claiming that your husband fathered her child, which is apparently what you think happened, then why would you do so?

insanity

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The girl is 4. She does not look like DH, but like DHs mother, exactly.
The supposed father is a redhead. The child is not a redhead, not a hint of red.
I’m 60, DH is 55. Our child is adopted because of infertility.
I’m not being paranoid. Just wondering about fallout....

OMG that makes you the wicked stepmother!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They adopted their own child and this was the babysitter from what I read. Maybe not a current one, but they are still in contact...maybe...My niece invited her old babysitter to her wedding.

OP can you clarify? And what do you mean you're not "paranoid"? I would dna that kid so fast it would make your head spin, lol...if the resemblance was that similar.

Our child is adopted. Years ago I would have done DNA right away, but honestly now, I am reluctant. My head is racing. Thinking about things like property being split and so in. Our own child’s inheritance. I simply don’t want to know. However I might not be totally in control of that. BTW it’s not just hair color, it’s complexion.

Wait. So you think that possibly your infertile 51 year old husband slept with the 19 year old babysitter and knocked her up, and produced a genetic twin to his mom that nobody's told you about?
And y'all are wealthy enough that you're scared to lose your inheritance for your adopted kid, but not wealthy enough that this babysitter isn't going to sue for paternity testing / DNA / child support and 1/2 of everything?

What is so remarkable about her kid's complexion, unless he's a different race and the kid's alleged dad isn't?

Why would the babysitter not agree / admit if there's inheritance / $ / property / child support involved?

What's there not to understand? If she finds out the kid is his and they divorce it will affect her lifestyle. Even if this is the bio child there appears to be another man on the birth certificate. Legally her husband will never be the legal father. That envelope of time has passed. In short the babysitter can't get child support. They are retirement age, not a good time to divorce for most.

If she were that wealthy, the babysitter would have gone after the money.

And you're clearly very uneducated on how paternity works. She can go after it at any time
Birth certificates are quite easy to change. What on earth state from are you from!??!?
In short, yes the babysitter can.

OP- how old is your adopted kid ?
Is the babysitter still employed? How long have they worked for you? How much is their kid around?Do you know that you were the infertile one?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They adopted their own child and this was the babysitter from what I read. Maybe not a current one, but they are still in contact...maybe...My niece invited her old babysitter to her wedding.

OP can you clarify? And what do you mean you're not "paranoid"? I would dna that kid so fast it would make your head spin, lol...if the resemblance was that similar.

If someone ran a DNA test on my kid without my permission, I would come down on them like a ton of bricks.

Also, if the babysitter isn't claiming that your husband fathered her child, which is apparently what you think happened, then why would you do so?

There's nothing you could do. Also, she's not going to tell anyone she's doing it.

Because there's been enough of these cases. You know like Arnold and the house cleaner???

[Anonymous]

If the kid is the DH's the sitter cannot make any claim to marital property. Certainly child support, which at DH's age, the child will get Social Security benefits. The OP and DW will only have to make sure they clearly delineate the succession of assets in event of death. DH first, to wife and subsequently adopted child. OP first, then to DH and subsequently to adopted child.

[Anonymous]

Is your DH brown but auburn haired? Definitely his kid then.

[Anonymous]

I’m fairly certain that I own a documentary about this subject that I keep in my sock drawer.