A theory about having kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think most people blindly have second children. I think if people thought about it the majority of people would stop at one. Most people have two kids because “that’s what you do”. Not bc they REALLY want one or have thought about the emotional and logistical implications.

One reason that parents have a more than one child is because of the emotional implications of losing an only child. I know a mother who, after losing her only child in an accident in high school, killed herself on the anniversary of his death.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree. I think many people have two or three children because one child doesn’t feel like a family.

Wow. Didn’t realize I don’t have a family. And here I am thinking my husband, daughter, and I are a family.

I mean you do, but barely.

What does "barely" a family feel like? And who are you to determine what is and what isn't "barely" a family? There's something wrong with you for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree. I think many people have two or three children because one child doesn’t feel like a family to them.

I'm the parent of an only, and I'm fine with your statement as edited. My BIL has 3 kids and his house doesn't feel like a family to me, it feels like a circus. My family of 3 feels cozy and complete, to me.
Everybody's different and that's okay so long as we don't get rude about it.

Hmm, so calling someone's family a circus isn't rude? Thats...different. My family of my partner and I and our three kind, considerate, and well-behaved boys are not a circus thankyouverymuch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We planned on 3 but stopped at 2 for health reasons. Logistically, one might have been easier, but also might have been harder. However, I strongly believe that having siblings, whether they're friends as children or adults or not, teaches children invaluable and irreplicable lessons.

I totally disagree that siblings teach invaluable lessons. It simply doesn’t make sense! You have to consider the age gaps between children. More than six or seven years and the siblings are basically only children.

Also all lessons are not good lessons. Many siblings learn resentment and jealousy from siblings.

[Anonymous]

Life would be sad with an only. I cannot imagine growing up without siblings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Life would be sad with an only. I cannot imagine growing up without siblings.

It sucked, but mainly because the adults were crazy.

[Anonymous]

I thought my husband and I were a family before we even had kids. And now some looney tunes is saying that two ppl plus a child isn’t a family either. Wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I disagree. I think many people have two or three children because one child doesn’t feel like a family.

I agree, and I'm an only child. I always felt this way growing up.

[Anonymous]

#2 was not planned. I think after weaning #1 we did not really think about protection since we were so tired dealing with an infant. If we had "planned" it, we might have never found the right time to have #2 or we would've had a bigger gap between the 2. But it ended up working out well. We love the somewhat closeness in their ages (22 months) and they are each other's playmates. They are so different from each other that we get the best of everything (the worst too). So yes, #2 was not planned. But I think we would've at least had 2 as we both have siblings and like that fact that we always have someone we can count on.

But I think a lot more people have one child blindly thinking that is what you are suppose to do after you get married or have one by accident.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree. I think many people have two or three children because one child doesn’t feel like a family.

Wow. Didn’t realize I don’t have a family. And here I am thinking my husband, daughter, and I are a family.

I mean you do, but barely.

What does "barely" a family feel like? And who are you to determine what is and what isn't "barely" a family? There's something wrong with you for sure.

Their reasoning - not mine. I have an only and know we are a family. I have several patients and friends who told me that don’t feel like one is a family.

[Anonymous]

People are programmed far more than they can ever see or accept.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree. I think many people have two or three children because one child doesn’t feel like a family to them.

I'm the parent of an only, and I'm fine with your statement as edited. My BIL has 3 kids and his house doesn't feel like a family to me, it feels like a circus. My family of 3 feels cozy and complete, to me.
Everybody's different and that's okay so long as we don't get rude about it.

+1 To us a second kid is like an extra appendage which we don’t need

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree. I think many people have two or three children because one child doesn’t feel like a family to them.

I'm the parent of an only, and I'm fine with your statement as edited. My BIL has 3 kids and his house doesn't feel like a family to me, it feels like a circus. My family of 3 feels cozy and complete, to me.
Everybody's different and that's okay so long as we don't get rude about it.

Hmm, so calling someone's family a circus isn't rude? Thats...different. My family of my partner and I and our three kind, considerate, and well-behaved boys are not a circus thankyouverymuch.

Missed my point by a mile: go back and read the first line that I edited for PP. Nobody is calling your family or my BIL's family a circus. There is a huge gulf between "I don't want this, this doesn't feel good to me" and "You are not a family because what you're doing wouldn't feel good to me." The first is an opinion and the second is rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think most people blindly have second children. I think if people thought about it the majority of people would stop at one. Most people have two kids because “that’s what you do”. Not bc they REALLY want one or have thought about the emotional and logistical implications.

One reason that parents have a more than one child is because of the emotional implications of losing an only child. I know a mother who, after losing her only child in an accident in high school, killed herself on the anniversary of his death.

I have heard this before and find this argument tragic and crazy. No one loses and child and is like, “oh thank god I have a spare.” W that reasoning, I’d have two husbands as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disagree. I think many people have two or three children because one child doesn’t feel like a family.

Wow. Didn’t realize I don’t have a family. And here I am thinking my husband, daughter, and I are a family.

I mean you do, but barely.

What does "barely" a family feel like? And who are you to determine what is and what isn't "barely" a family? There's something wrong with you for sure.

Their reasoning - not mine. I have an only and know we are a family. I have several patients and friends who told me that don’t feel like one is a family.

This will be totally weird to most people, but the three of us feels a little incomplete. But with our huge dog whom we adore and consider a member of the family, and who has grown up alongside our kid, it feels like four of us.