Aren't families supposed to be your ride or die?
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Anonymous
What did you do the grown child in your life won't invite you to Christmas? |
Anonymous
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Ride%20or%20Die |
Anonymous
| Why are the examples you give mostly associated with Asian and non-Christian families???? |
Anonymous
It is a colloquialism from biker gangs. It means a mix of - you will be with the gang and are willing to die for them; you will die without riding with the gang; full loyalty to the gang; etc. So in this case, your blood relatives no matter what are your gang. You must be loyal to a fault to the gang. You must be willing to die for your gang of relatives. You are ride or die with your family, despite any mental health issues or terrible abuse - because that is what being in a gang is all about right? |
Anonymous
| Hey OP, I bet your are not a fault at all are you? |
Anonymous
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You are asking us to say whether YOUR example are fair or unfair. And, yes, they seem unfair.
But, real life examples are different and they do not resemble the situations you put forward. There are millions of families that do stick together even though there is pain and bitter-feelings and angers. It's no way to live. A little space does a broken family good. |
Anonymous
Agree with this that the examples provided are unfair, but these are not 99% of cases that other posters are taking about. Most examples on the other recent threads with this same topic have provided real life examples do not resemble any of the situations you put forward. Most stories are terrible examples of mental health issues, abuse, or neglect. The stories also cross generations, instead of just "children these days" as estrangement can go the other way too. |
Anonymous
| My brother is an open white supremacist. He has not caused harm to me or my family, and I guess you can say only talks about harm to others who aren't white. He's really nice to you if you are white and not what he calls a "race sympathizer." He considers himself a good person. My parents also think he is a good person. So, may I ask in your mind do I need to let me DSs around him and his constant hate speech that he refuses to stop even when requested? What should I do in this situation? Go to Christmas and spend the day hearing about the death and destruction of other races? |
Anonymous
| No OP, if you treat your family like shit, they don’t have to celebrate holidays with you. |
Anonymous
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Ride or Die as op is using the term means no matter what horrible things you do, they will be ignored because of some bond you have. It's a great philosophy if you want to keep hush hush the fact that weird Uncle Bill molested children in the family or to hide crazy Aunt Mary's alcoholism. Everybody gets to pretend all is peachy keen as long as we are loyal like the mafia.
Not impressed by you or your post op. You are probably young or someone who has taken advantage of family members. |
Anonymous
+1 OP, be glad you've never been in a position to cut someone off or be cut off by them. Much like the millions of other people whose shoes you have never walked in, I suggest you let go of your indignant and ignorant attitude and be grateful. And then maybe try some compassion if you ever happen to meet anyone who has been in this situation, since you obviously have no idea what they are going through. |
Anonymous
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I am in my mid-30's and have noticed that a number of my friends and peers' parents have INSANE expectations when it comes to how much communication and "access" they expect from their adult children. I think this is an extension of helicopter parenting and/or family norms that were set when they were raising kids with family nearby so things like spending every holiday and every birthday together made sense. When you are asking your kids and grandkids to fly to you for every holiday, and not allowing any boundaries (see all the posts about how drama-filled some of these IL and parent visits are), then the older generation can see some boundaries as downright warfare.
None of these outsized expectations are abuse, but these parents claim that they are "being shut out" if they are asked to stay in a hotel rather than on the couch when their daughter has twin newborns in a DC 1 BR apartment. So i wonder if some of these people thinking they are being cut off for no reason are really just confused that their offspring are acting like actual adults and choosing to vacation, have holidays, etc.. with their own immediate families. |
Anonymous
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OP, you're lying to yourself about why you were cut off. Pretty much no one disowns their families for one little mistake unless serious mental health issues at play. For most of us, it's years/decades of poor treatment. You don't get to continually mistreat me, abuse me, neglect me and otherwise treat me badly and still get to have an active presence in my life just because you gave birth to me.
Your examples are nonsense. Sorry, but people don't just disown their fathers because these fathers were "a little short with them" after work a few times. If you're a constant target for someone's anger, year after year, it's actually abuse. And come on. People don't disown their parents for not attending every ball game and event - but once those parents retire and decide they want to be dedicated parents and grandparents, they can't expect that they'll all of a sudden have a close and loving relationship with their children and grandchildren simply because they've decided it's now time. Everyone has to own their behavior and manage expectations. You reap what you sow. |
Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
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It is a tale as old as time.
Cat's in the Cradle Harry Chapin My child arrived just the other day He came to the world in the usual way But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay He learned to walk while I was away And he was talking 'fore I knew it, and as he grew He'd say "I'm gonna be like you, dad" "You know I'm gonna be like you" And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon Little boy blue and the man in the moon "When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when" But we'll get together then You know we'll have a good time then My son turned ten just the other day He said, thanks for the ball, dad, come on let's play Can you teach me to throw, I said, not today I got a lot to do, he said, that's okay And he walked away, but his smile never dimmed It said, I'm gonna be like him, yeah You know I'm gonna be like him And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon Little boy blue and the man in the moon "When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when" But we'll get together then You know we'll have a good time then Well, he came from college just the other day So much like a man I just had to say Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while? He shook his head, and he said with a smile What I'd really like, dad, is to borrow the car keys See you later, can I have them please? And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon Little boy blue and the man in the moon "When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when" But we'll get together then, dad You know we'll have a good time then I've long since retired and my son's moved away I called him up just the other day I said, I'd like to see you if you don't mind He said, I'd love to, dad, if I could find the time You see, my new job's a hassle, and the kids have the flu But it's sure nice talking to you, dad It's been sure nice talking to you And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me He'd grown up just like me My boy was just like me And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon Little boy blue and the man in the moon "When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when" But we'll get together then, dad We're gonna have a good time then |