is talking about my wife the best way to deal with a crush?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife knows her due to activities but don't see each other much if at all. Also DW doesn't like her thinks she's an arrangant b* (but she really isn't).

Defending her is not a good sign. Trust your wife's judgement. She's sensing something is up. Maybe it's just because you are into her and wife is trying to balance that, but slap yourself in the face for being dumb about this and move on. Yes, there are things you are attracted to about this woman. That's it. Move on.

Thanks for the post but it really isn't like that. DW thought she was cold and rude to her last time they saw each other, which was true, and even I was a bit surprised by it. But then I found out she was going through a tough time then so probably was just stressed and distracted.

I don't think slapping myself or just 'waiting it out' is going to work. It's been about nine months and the feeling is still very strong. Good thing is she's not interested and I know I'm not her type anyway.

[Anonymous]

Like others said, just enjoy the flirting and crush. Unless you plan to be alone with her with alcohol involved, nothing will happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife knows her due to activities but don't see each other much if at all. Also DW doesn't like her thinks she's an arrangant b* (but she really isn't).

Defending her is not a good sign. Trust your wife's judgement. She's sensing something is up. Maybe it's just because you are into her and wife is trying to balance that, but slap yourself in the face for being dumb about this and move on. Yes, there are things you are attracted to about this woman. That's it. Move on.

Thanks for the post but it really isn't like that. DW thought she was cold and rude to her last time they saw each other, which was true, and even I was a bit surprised by it. But then I found out she was going through a tough time then so probably was just stressed and distracted.

I don't think slapping myself or just 'waiting it out' is going to work. It's been about nine months and the feeling is still very strong. Good thing is she's not interested and I know I'm not her type anyway.

NP here. You have had this crush for 9 months? Wow... that’s quite awhile. Be careful, OP. It sounds like you wouldn’t turn her down if she changed her mind...

[Anonymous]

If you REALLY want to end the crush, tell your wife. She'll take care of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife knows her due to activities but don't see each other much if at all. Also DW doesn't like her thinks she's an arrangant b* (but she really isn't).

Defending her is not a good sign. Trust your wife's judgement. She's sensing something is up. Maybe it's just because you are into her and wife is trying to balance that, but slap yourself in the face for being dumb about this and move on. Yes, there are things you are attracted to about this woman. That's it. Move on.

Thanks for the post but it really isn't like that. DW thought she was cold and rude to her last time they saw each other, which was true, and even I was a bit surprised by it. But then I found out she was going through a tough time then so probably was just stressed and distracted.

I don't think slapping myself or just 'waiting it out' is going to work. It's been about nine months and the feeling is still very strong. Good thing is she's not interested and I know I'm not her type anyway.

NP here. You have had this crush for 9 months? Wow... that’s quite awhile. Be careful, OP. It sounds like you wouldn’t turn her down if she changed her mind...

Uh, no, she wasn’t “cold and rude” because she was going through a tough time. She was “cold and rude” because DW (currently) has what she wants.

And you know what? I think she’s going to get what she wants. You’ll help her with some tough project, and she’ll take you to dinner as a thank you. Or she’ll create a sudden deadline where you and she just have to stay late at the office to get the work done, and doesn’t it make sense to split a hotel room nearby to get some rest before the next day? Or she’ll join you for drinks in the hotel lounge at the conference, and she’ll bemoan why she can’t find a great guy like you.

And “one thing will lead to another” yadda yadda yadda.

[Anonymous]

It's not a work crush, PP. Did you even read the OP?

[Anonymous]

How old are your kids? Preschool, tweens? teens?

[Anonymous]

I tell my husband the second I feel those feelings stirring and turn it into a big joke. It releases all the tension and makes cheating feel absurd. That said it seems like you let it go too far for that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are your kids? Preschool, tweens? teens?

Kids are teens. Not sure how ages matter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I tell my husband the second I feel those feelings stirring and turn it into a big joke. It releases all the tension and makes cheating feel absurd. That said it seems like you let it go too far for that.

Yeah DW kind of does that too though I never really get the 'joke.' But I guess it's effective for some women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife knows her due to activities but don't see each other much if at all. Also DW doesn't like her thinks she's an arrangant b* (but she really isn't).

Defending her is not a good sign. Trust your wife's judgement. She's sensing something is up. Maybe it's just because you are into her and wife is trying to balance that, but slap yourself in the face for being dumb about this and move on. Yes, there are things you are attracted to about this woman. That's it. Move on.

Thanks for the post but it really isn't like that. DW thought she was cold and rude to her last time they saw each other, which was true, and even I was a bit surprised by it. But then I found out she was going through a tough time then so probably was just stressed and distracted.

I don't think slapping myself or just 'waiting it out' is going to work. It's been about nine months and the feeling is still very strong. Good thing is she's not interested and I know I'm not her type anyway.

NP here. You have had this crush for 9 months? Wow... that’s quite awhile. Be careful, OP. It sounds like you wouldn’t turn her down if she changed her mind...

Uh, no, she wasn’t “cold and rude” because she was going through a tough time. She was “cold and rude” because DW (currently) has what she wants.

And you know what? I think she’s going to get what she wants. You’ll help her with some tough project, and she’ll take you to dinner as a thank you. Or she’ll create a sudden deadline where you and she just have to stay late at the office to get the work done, and doesn’t it make sense to split a hotel room nearby to get some rest before the next day? Or she’ll join you for drinks in the hotel lounge at the conference, and she’ll bemoan why she can’t find a great guy like you.

And “one thing will lead to another” yadda yadda yadda.

TGIS. Are you a freaking idiot, OP? This delusion does not bode well for you staying faithful...next thing we know you'll be coming up with excuses and rationalization for cheating, mark my word

[Anonymous]

If your crush was cold and rude to your wife, it’s very likely because said crush is at least somewhat mutual and she was jealous, wanting to come off as disinterested etc.

[Anonymous]

Given the limited but negative history beteeen them, telling your wife at this point is probably not a good idea but you do need to get a hold of yourself and distance yourself from this woman. It’s already gone too far if one of the main reasons you think nothing will happen is because she’s not attracted to you/ not her type.

Make up some reason you can’t be as chatty if you need to, it definitely don’t tell your crush how you feel either. You can enjoy fleeting crushes and moments of attraction if you keep them in line and right now you’re on the edge of too much. Downshift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your crush was cold and rude to your wife, it’s very likely because said crush is at least somewhat mutual and she was jealous, wanting to come off as disinterested etc.

+1
This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife knows her due to activities but don't see each other much if at all. Also DW doesn't like her thinks she's an arrangant b* (but she really isn't).

Defending her is not a good sign. Trust your wife's judgement. She's sensing something is up. Maybe it's just because you are into her and wife is trying to balance that, but slap yourself in the face for being dumb about this and move on. Yes, there are things you are attracted to about this woman. That's it. Move on.

Thanks for the post but it really isn't like that. DW thought she was cold and rude to her last time they saw each other, which was true, and even I was a bit surprised by it. But then I found out she was going through a tough time then so probably was just stressed and distracted.

I don't think slapping myself or just 'waiting it out' is going to work. It's been about nine months and the feeling is still very strong.[b] Good thing is she's not interested and I know I'm not her type anyway.

NP here. You have had this crush for 9 months? Wow... that’s quite awhile. Be careful, OP. It sounds like you wouldn’t turn her down if she changed her mind...

Uh, no, she wasn’t “cold and rude” because she was going through a tough time. She was “cold and rude” because DW (currently) has what she wants.

And you know what? I think she’s going to get what she wants. You’ll help her with some tough project, and she’ll take you to dinner as a thank you. Or she’ll create a sudden deadline where you and she just have to stay late at the office to get the work done, and doesn’t it make sense to split a hotel room nearby to get some rest before the next day? Or she’ll join you for drinks in the hotel lounge at the conference, and she’ll bemoan why she can’t find a great guy like you.

And “one thing will lead to another” yadda yadda yadda.

TGIS. Are you a freaking idiot, OP? This delusion does not bode well for you staying faithful...next thing we know you'll be coming up with excuses and rationalization for cheating, mark my word

OP - how do you know she is not interested? Did you already make a move?

Your wife already thinks this woman is arrogant and bitchy. If you go ahead and make a move on a woman that your wife has told you that she dislikes, the betrayal will be dig much deeper.

If it helps: think of the biggest a-hole you know, a male co-worker that you cannot stand, perhaps. Imagine your wife posting about how she has been thinking about bedding him for a year now and wow, she really hopes she is never alone with him.