How do you feel about people who cut off family for no reason?

[Anonymous]

The only person I've known to do this had serious mental health issues herself. So she was cutting people off "for no reason" but it was just that the people she was cutting off hadn't done anything wrong, she herself was the problem / was the source of the problems.

[Anonymous]

A former colleague once told me he had cut off his entire family. I thought it was weird AF. Several years later he walked out on his wife and three kids as well.

Cutting off your entire family is a red flag to me. It’s rarely the case that everyone else is wrong and you’re right.

[Anonymous]

We're actually considering cutting off my spouse's entire family. Spouse is the product of a previous tumultuous relationship, and his half-siblings are from the current long term marriage. Not only does my spouse constantly get treated differently than his siblings, but so do I and our children. We're regularly left out of "family" things, but at the same time we are expected to prioritize time with everyone and accommodate them on occasions when they decide to include us. They expect gratitude for including us and get annoyed when they do not get it. One of these days spouse won't be able to hold back much longer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's always a reason, OP.

+1

Just because they won't tell you the reason, does not mean there is no reason, OP. You seem naive.

yup. who cut you off, OP?

In our family, we have one sibling who cut everyone off.

She is full of drama and manipulative. She is mean and would always pick a fight with siblings when things were low in her dysfunctional marriage.

I don't do social media, but she has a habit of presenting things as "my terrible family" when in reality she is the one who was attacking.

If the person who cut everyone off has a seemingly normal family, and has a drama filled friend circle or a marriage that seems dramatic or where she is always posting what a perfect husband/life she has, then most likely the person who cut off everyone has some serious issues and needs compassion. Keep a careful distance with this person. She will turn on you too.

Okey dokey. MUST be her. LOL.

Absolutely.

Every time her husband cheated on her, she would call a sibling and work really hard to pick a fight by going really low or making up things.

Family members tried everything to help her...offering a listening ear, offering a place to stay so she could leave him, taking her kid for weekends so they could work on things and taking her kids for extended periods of time when their chaotic marriage was impacting the kids. More and more. Compassion, kindness and support. Tough love. Once people started telling her that they could not keep playing this game if she wasn't willing to leave him, she cut off the family.

Think of all the fathers that cut off their children for a new wife.

Yep, absent of abuse, odds are good that at least half the problem if not more is with the person severing all family ties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're actually considering cutting off my spouse's entire family. Spouse is the product of a previous tumultuous relationship, and his half-siblings are from the current long term marriage. Not only does my spouse constantly get treated differently than his siblings, but so do I and our children. We're regularly left out of "family" things, but at the same time we are expected to prioritize time with everyone and accommodate them on occasions when they decide to include us. They expect gratitude for including us and get annoyed when they do not get it. One of these days spouse won't be able to hold back much longer.

PP here - and if we do this, I bet spouse's family and siblings will say he is petty and we did it for "no reason".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know someone like this. After getting married she quit her job, cut off her siblings and friends. Changed her email address, phone number, dumped her computer, changed her car etc.

For fun?

[Anonymous]

Parents make mistakes. Very few things justify permanent estrangement. Lots of young adults are going to discover this as they grow older but by then it may be too late.
(My sister refused to talk to mom intermittently, usually for periods of six months to a year. Her kids witnessed this and are now acting accordingly. One of them hasn't called in seven years.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's always a reason, OP.

What if the reason is stupid or petty?

Then most likely the reason is you. If something is important enough to a person to cut the other side (e.g. you) out of their life, it is significant to them. You are devaluing and demeaning her reasons and feelings which generally suggests that you are callous and insensitive to the other person. At the least, you are insensitive enough to discount her claim that something bothers her significantly. By calling it stupid and petty instead of trying to address the issue with her, you've pushed her to the point that you are not worth the emotional problems you are causing her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's always a reason, OP.

What if the reason is stupid or petty?

Then most likely the reason is you. If something is important enough to a person to cut the other side (e.g. you) out of their life, it is significant to them. You are devaluing and demeaning her reasons and feelings which generally suggests that you are callous and insensitive to the other person. At the least, you are insensitive enough to discount her claim that something bothers her significantly. By calling it stupid and petty instead of trying to address the issue with her, you've pushed her to the point that you are not worth the emotional problems you are causing her.

Not really OP.

50% chance the issue is her and not you.

It takes a special brand of crazy or self centered-ness to cut off a loved one, with no issues of abuse (physical, substance).

[Anonymous]

OP does this person have a history of drama with various people (family, friends, bosses, coworkers, boyfriends)?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've never known anyone to cut off family for literally no reason.[/quot

There is always a reason.

[Anonymous]

This doesn't happen in "normal" families. There has to be a lot of built up pain for this to happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's always a reason, OP.

What if the reason is stupid or petty?

It obviously wasn't stupid or petty to the person cutting others off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's always a reason, OP.

What if the reason is stupid or petty?

OP, they cut you off because you probably have a pattern of dismissing their experiences as stupid and petty, according to you, and completely ignoring their feelings and experience. And that is a very valid reason for someone to cut you out.

[Anonymous]

I feel like they probably had a reason and if I don't know what it was it's none of my business.