How do you feel about people who cut off family for no reason?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only person I've known to do this had serious mental health issues herself. So she was cutting people off "for no reason" but it was just that the people she was cutting off hadn't done anything wrong, she herself was the problem / was the source of the problems.

+1 I also think that it is a popular and accepted concept (to go nuclear or to ghost) within a certain age group of our society. I'm not sure of all the drivers but the symptoms certainly seem to be emotionally unstable, insecure and anxious, highly reactive and retaliatory to perceived slights, and generally unhappy.

OP, if a family member of yours has done something like this to you and your family then you need to accept that this family member is having emotional struggles and that there is nothing you can do until the person is ready to get help. Just stay open to any sign that the person is willing to reach out or accept contact.

It is a tough situation, I know, and I'm sorry you're going through it. It isn't you or your family, it is whatever is happening inside this other person.

I think there are lots of reasons to cut family members off and I think many people have really valid reasons for doing so.

However, there's this whole corner of the internet (looking at you, BabyCenter and Reddit) that's ALL about cutting off, putting in time out, etc. I went to a DWIL board on babycenter once because I was curious what everyone was talking about and literally every post was responded to with recommendations to cut off the in laws or put them in timeout. No matter how innocuous the behavior, CUT THEM OFF! So I think people get into this group think zone where every behavior is categorized as toxic and awful and worthy of cutting people out of your life so they do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's always a reason, OP.

What if the reason is stupid or petty?

Then most likely the reason is you. If something is important enough to a person to cut the other side (e.g. you) out of their life, it is significant to them. You are devaluing and demeaning her reasons and feelings which generally suggests that you are callous and insensitive to the other person. At the least, you are insensitive enough to discount her claim that something bothers her significantly. By calling it stupid and petty instead of trying to address the issue with her, you've pushed her to the point that you are not worth the emotional problems you are causing her.

DP. It sounds like you are speaking from experience, PP. How did you try to address the issue with the other person before you cut them off? Why do you think that was unsuccessful (since you apparently then did cut them off)?

No, this wasn't personal experience. I have a very good and healthy relationship with my parents, siblings, and even in-laws. Both sides have issues, but communication and healthy relationships are not one of them.

The experience(s) that I speak of are from being the good friend and shoulder to cry on for three different friends who have had to cut off toxic family.

One is a friend who is liberal but comes from a conservative family. This friend places values on environmental issues. She doesn't preach, but her family constantly harps on her life choices. She chose a non-profit job because she believes in the cause and she is regularly told that she is wasting her education on such a low paid job. She asks them not to comment on her job and choices, but they tell her she is being stupid and petty (close enough) and that she needs to make better choices. If she would just make better choices, they wouldn't have to keep mentioning what her problems (or their perception of her problems) are. She finally gave up and just stopped communicating.

I have another friend who had a lot of unequal treatment as a child. He had a good childhood, but there was clearly unfair and unequal treatment being the middle child. He has some resentment for the clear preferences his parents had for older and younger siblings. The unequal treatment continued into his adult years. He finally realized that his family and their treatment of him was causing him problems. If he brought up issues that bothered him, he was told he was holding grudges. There were always reasons for why he was the second-class kid. And he clearly didn't recognize how good he had it. Basically, he had a good life and should be grateful for it and shouldn't be comparing their treatment of him to their treatment of siblings. He finally decided that after 30 some years, he wasn't going to change them and they weren't going to treat him any better and it wasn't worth the emotional turmoil that they cause him and he cut them out.

I'm not going to list the details for the other friend, but similar where the family did not recognize their own contributions to the problems over many years, discounted the friend's reasons for feeling upset and blamed the victim for stupid and petty reasons (so much easier to discount the reasons when you are not the person being emotionally victimized) and for personal health reasons, cut off the family.

Neither #1 or #2 sound like a legitimate reason to cut off family.

#2 sounds like a bit of a brat.

DP. I suspect you have family members who want to cut you off....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only person I've known to do this had serious mental health issues herself. So she was cutting people off "for no reason" but it was just that the people she was cutting off hadn't done anything wrong, she herself was the problem / was the source of the problems.

+1 I also think that it is a popular and accepted concept (to go nuclear or to ghost) within a certain age group of our society. I'm not sure of all the drivers but the symptoms certainly seem to be emotionally unstable, insecure and anxious, highly reactive and retaliatory to perceived slights, and generally unhappy.

OP, if a family member of yours has done something like this to you and your family then you need to accept that this family member is having emotional struggles and that there is nothing you can do until the person is ready to get help. Just stay open to any sign that the person is willing to reach out or accept contact.

It is a tough situation, I know, and I'm sorry you're going through it. It isn't you or your family, it is whatever is happening inside this other person.

I think there are lots of reasons to cut family members off and I think many people have really valid reasons for doing so.

However, there's this whole corner of the internet (looking at you, BabyCenter and Reddit) that's ALL about cutting off, putting in time out, etc. I went to a DWIL board on babycenter once because I was curious what everyone was talking about and literally every post was responded to with recommendations to cut off the in laws or put them in timeout. No matter how innocuous the behavior, CUT THEM OFF! So I think people get into this group think zone where every behavior is categorized as toxic and awful and worthy of cutting people out of your life so they do it.

I frequent the Reddit board of which you mention as a lurker, not because I have any immediate family I wish to cut off, but that there are toxic people in my family and they have smart, well-documented methods of how to get by and interact with those types of individuals when cutting off isn't the solution - some of those stories, those families should not have been given a second or third chance. There is a tendency of some commentators to scream CUT THEM OFF - but the mods are really working on curbing that behavior and actively discourage or ban posters who fear-monger or give bad advice.

That being said, I have a sibling who cuts people off at the SMALLEST disagreement or annoyance. She has no friends now, lashed out at half the family - she has depression and anxiety and she's finally, finally seeking help for it. I've had to walk on eggshells to preserve the relationships without becoming resentful of her myself, and it's HARD not to cut someone off who is so determined to give up a relationship - whether or not she does it as a call for help, because she honestly hates a person, or some other reason, it's never clear. But it's her self-stated go-to ... "it's just easier to start over," as she claims. Ugh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only person I've known to do this had serious mental health issues herself. So she was cutting people off "for no reason" but it was just that the people she was cutting off hadn't done anything wrong, she herself was the problem / was the source of the problems.

+1 I also think that it is a popular and accepted concept (to go nuclear or to ghost) within a certain age group of our society. I'm not sure of all the drivers but the symptoms certainly seem to be emotionally unstable, insecure and anxious, highly reactive and retaliatory to perceived slights, and generally unhappy.

OP, if a family member of yours has done something like this to you and your family then you need to accept that this family member is having emotional struggles and that there is nothing you can do until the person is ready to get help. Just stay open to any sign that the person is willing to reach out or accept contact.

It is a tough situation, I know, and I'm sorry you're going through it. It isn't you or your family, it is whatever is happening inside this other person.

I think there are lots of reasons to cut family members off and I think many people have really valid reasons for doing so.

However, there's this whole corner of the internet (looking at you, BabyCenter and Reddit) that's ALL about cutting off, putting in time out, etc. I went to a DWIL board on babycenter once because I was curious what everyone was talking about and literally every post was responded to with recommendations to cut off the in laws or put them in timeout. No matter how innocuous the behavior, CUT THEM OFF! So I think people get into this group think zone where every behavior is categorized as toxic and awful and worthy of cutting people out of your life so they do it.

Yeah but to be fair at DWIL it seems like something will start out innocent and then it'll ratchet into attempted kidnapping or a crazy mother-in-law of running over her son with a car or something. That board is bananas.

[Anonymous]

I may be in the minority but I think cutting family off for minor aggression is crazy and a sign of mental instability, narcissism and immaturity.

To be clear I am not referring to cases of legitimate abuse, emotional or physical, drugs or alcohol issues. Some people do have shitty families and I feel very sorry for them. The vast majority of whom I see that are estranged from their families are simply ridiculous and selfish people.

Examples:

Sidney is no longer speaking to her older sister because growing up older sister was the favorite and mom an dad showed her more attention. Her sister is a fine and normal person who can sometimes be bossy but Sidney thinks she and her mom and dad are "toxic" and has cut them off. She is, however, very close with her in laws and puts up with all sorts of crap from them. But anything her family says is crazy and they must be avoided.

Ally has put her mother at a distance because she is "old and annoying. She doesn't even know how an iphone works! why can't she get with the times?we're so different!"

Emma cut off her "low class" in laws because she was embarrassed by them. She doesn't let her children have any relationship with them.

We are all imperfect people. Even that difficult mother was once your "mommy" and stayed up all night and fretted over your every sound. Its silly to cut them off for minor human differences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I may be in the minority but I think cutting family off for minor aggression is crazy and a sign of mental instability, narcissism and immaturity.

To be clear I am not referring to cases of legitimate abuse, emotional or physical, drugs or alcohol issues. Some people do have shitty families and I feel very sorry for them. The vast majority of whom I see that are estranged from their families are simply ridiculous and selfish people.

Examples:

Sidney is no longer speaking to her older sister because growing up older sister was the favorite and mom an dad showed her more attention. Her sister is a fine and normal person who can sometimes be bossy but Sidney thinks she and her mom and dad are "toxic" and has cut them off. She is, however, very close with her in laws and puts up with all sorts of crap from them. But anything her family says is crazy and they must be avoided.

Ally has put her mother at a distance because she is "old and annoying. She doesn't even know how an iphone works! why can't she get with the times?we're so different!"

Emma cut off her "low class" in laws because she was embarrassed by them. She doesn't let her children have any relationship with them.

We are all imperfect people. Even that difficult mother was once your "mommy" and stayed up all night and fretted over your every sound. Its silly to cut them off for minor human differences.

I totally agree with you PP. There's definitely a fad of young adults cutting off their parents for some perceived wrong in their childhoods or differences in political opinions. In many other societies you would be shunned for treating family this way. In our highly transient society the young people are often not surrounded by people who know of their selfishness so they can get away with this. You find very little family estrangement in poorer communities that aren't as mobile. People work around their differences because they must.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I may be in the minority but I think cutting family off for minor aggression is crazy and a sign of mental instability, narcissism and immaturity.

To be clear I am not referring to cases of legitimate abuse, emotional or physical, drugs or alcohol issues. Some people do have shitty families and I feel very sorry for them. The vast majority of whom I see that are estranged from their families are simply ridiculous and selfish people.

Examples:

Sidney is no longer speaking to her older sister because growing up older sister was the favorite and mom an dad showed her more attention. Her sister is a fine and normal person who can sometimes be bossy but Sidney thinks she and her mom and dad are "toxic" and has cut them off. She is, however, very close with her in laws and puts up with all sorts of crap from them. But anything her family says is crazy and they must be avoided.

Ally has put her mother at a distance because she is "old and annoying. She doesn't even know how an iphone works! why can't she get with the times?we're so different!"

Emma cut off her "low class" in laws because she was embarrassed by them. She doesn't let her children have any relationship with them.

We are all imperfect people. Even that difficult mother was once your "mommy" and stayed up all night and fretted over your every sound. Its silly to cut them off for minor human differences.

How do you know Sidney’s parents weren’t emotionally abusive? Blatant favoritism certainly isn’t healthy, and can definitely be abusive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I may be in the minority but I think cutting family off for minor aggression is crazy and a sign of mental instability, narcissism and immaturity.

To be clear I am not referring to cases of legitimate abuse, emotional or physical, drugs or alcohol issues. Some people do have shitty families and I feel very sorry for them. The vast majority of whom I see that are estranged from their families are simply ridiculous and selfish people.

Examples:

Sidney is no longer speaking to her older sister because growing up older sister was the favorite and mom an dad showed her more attention. Her sister is a fine and normal person who can sometimes be bossy but Sidney thinks she and her mom and dad are "toxic" and has cut them off. She is, however, very close with her in laws and puts up with all sorts of crap from them. But anything her family says is crazy and they must be avoided.

Ally has put her mother at a distance because she is "old and annoying. She doesn't even know how an iphone works! why can't she get with the times?we're so different!"

Emma cut off her "low class" in laws because she was embarrassed by them. She doesn't let her children have any relationship with them.

We are all imperfect people. Even that difficult mother was once your "mommy" and stayed up all night and fretted over your every sound. Its silly to cut them off for minor human differences.

How do you know Sidney’s parents weren’t emotionally abusive? Blatant favoritism certainly isn’t healthy, and can definitely be abusive.

Omg not every imperfect parenting decision is “abusive.”

We live in a society where the young people feel so empowered to discard blood mothers fathers and siblings. If you don’t have loyalty to your blood relatives who can you possibly have loyalty to? We are rotting from the inside. It’s asinine that this selfish toxic behavior is applauded and seen as the norm.

If your 60+ mother says something awkward, be a grown up, put on your big girl pants and show her some grace and kindness. It’s your freaking mother!!she cleaned your poop and fed you and dealt with you being a teen monster. You’re so perfect that you don’t have the patience to show some kindness?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I may be in the minority but I think cutting family off for minor aggression is crazy and a sign of mental instability, narcissism and immaturity.

To be clear I am not referring to cases of legitimate abuse, emotional or physical, drugs or alcohol issues. Some people do have shitty families and I feel very sorry for them. The vast majority of whom I see that are estranged from their families are simply ridiculous and selfish people.

Examples:

Sidney is no longer speaking to her older sister because growing up older sister was the favorite and mom an dad showed her more attention. Her sister is a fine and normal person who can sometimes be bossy but Sidney thinks she and her mom and dad are "toxic" and has cut them off. She is, however, very close with her in laws and puts up with all sorts of crap from them. But anything her family says is crazy and they must be avoided.

Ally has put her mother at a distance because she is "old and annoying. She doesn't even know how an iphone works! why can't she get with the times?we're so different!"

Emma cut off her "low class" in laws because she was embarrassed by them. She doesn't let her children have any relationship with them.

We are all imperfect people. Even that difficult mother was once your "mommy" and stayed up all night and fretted over your every sound. Its silly to cut them off for minor human differences.

How do you know Sidney’s parents weren’t emotionally abusive? Blatant favoritism certainly isn’t healthy, and can definitely be abusive.

Omg not every imperfect parenting decision is “abusive.”

We live in a society where the young people feel so empowered to discard blood mothers fathers and siblings. If you don’t have loyalty to your blood relatives who can you possibly have loyalty to? We are rotting from the inside. It’s asinine that this selfish toxic behavior is applauded and seen as the norm.

If your 60+ mother says something awkward, be a grown up, put on your big girl pants and show her some grace and kindness. It’s your freaking mother!!she cleaned your poop and fed you and dealt with you being a teen monster. You’re so perfect that you don’t have the patience to show some kindness?

I was disowned in 2008 by my mother and father for falling in love with someone who is an AA man or in her words "a filthy n-word". My mother cleaned by poop and feed me and dealt with me being a teen monster. She said that I was bringing embarrassment upon her by loving a n-word. If fact when I told her about him during my visit home after dinner, she immediately threw all of my things on the lawn and told me to get out and never return. I saw her again once at a funeral and she refused to even be in the same room as me during the lunch after.

So I ask you, why was she not patient and showing kindness to me? She's supposed to love me unconditionally right?

Also don't assume it is always the young person who does the cutting off. People always that it was I who broke it off, but alas no. She broke it off. And, I was always a good kid, honor roll, ivy league, never in trouble, total nerd, etc. I never thought life would shake out this way. I've heard through the family grapevine she tells people that I'm addicted to drugs because that's the only way I could be in love with and married to my DH, and that our children must be crack babies living in poverty - we are both doctors who met in med school, so life is opposite.

But honestly, why do you think it's just the younger generation breaking things off?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I may be in the minority but I think cutting family off for minor aggression is crazy and a sign of mental instability, narcissism and immaturity.

To be clear I am not referring to cases of legitimate abuse, emotional or physical, drugs or alcohol issues. Some people do have shitty families and I feel very sorry for them. The vast majority of whom I see that are estranged from their families are simply ridiculous and selfish people.

Examples:

Sidney is no longer speaking to her older sister because growing up older sister was the favorite and mom an dad showed her more attention. Her sister is a fine and normal person who can sometimes be bossy but Sidney thinks she and her mom and dad are "toxic" and has cut them off. She is, however, very close with her in laws and puts up with all sorts of crap from them. But anything her family says is crazy and they must be avoided.

Ally has put her mother at a distance because she is "old and annoying. She doesn't even know how an iphone works! why can't she get with the times?we're so different!"

Emma cut off her "low class" in laws because she was embarrassed by them. She doesn't let her children have any relationship with them.

We are all imperfect people. Even that difficult mother was once your "mommy" and stayed up all night and fretted over your every sound. Its silly to cut them off for minor human differences.

How do you know Sidney’s parents weren’t emotionally abusive? Blatant favoritism certainly isn’t healthy, and can definitely be abusive.

Omg not every imperfect parenting decision is “abusive.”

We live in a society where the young people feel so empowered to discard blood mothers fathers and siblings. If you don’t have loyalty to your blood relatives who can you possibly have loyalty to? We are rotting from the inside. It’s asinine that this selfish toxic behavior is applauded and seen as the norm.

If your 60+ mother says something awkward, be a grown up, put on your big girl pants and show her some grace and kindness. It’s your freaking mother!!she cleaned your poop and fed you and dealt with you being a teen monster. You’re so perfect that you don’t have the patience to show some kindness?

I was disowned in 2008 by my mother and father for falling in love with someone who is an AA man or in her words "a filthy n-word". My mother cleaned by poop and feed me and dealt with me being a teen monster. She said that I was bringing embarrassment upon her by loving a n-word. If fact when I told her about him during my visit home after dinner, she immediately threw all of my things on the lawn and told me to get out and never return. I saw her again once at a funeral and she refused to even be in the same room as me during the lunch after.

So I ask you, why was she not patient and showing kindness to me? She's supposed to love me unconditionally right?

Also don't assume it is always the young person who does the cutting off. People always assume that it was I who broke it off, but alas no. She broke it off. And, I was always a good kid, honor roll, ivy league, never in trouble, total nerd, etc. I never thought life would shake out this way. I've heard through the family grapevine she tells people that I'm addicted to drugs because that's the only way I could be in love with and married to my DH, and that our children must be crack babies living in poverty - we are both doctors who met in med school, so life is opposite.

But honestly, why do you think it's just the younger generation breaking things off?

Sorry for my dyslexia

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m talking about people whose families are normal or who had good relationships with their families then decided they’re adults and to never speak to them again for no reason.

I don't think anything. I wasn't there and don't know what happened.

I do know some of my uncles were cut of from family, and by their own kids, and didn't show up at their parent's funeral, and that was for good cause. Some people are liabilities and even dangerous to be around or wasting time with. Including family. Minimize the drama, cut them off or at least step WAY back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I may be in the minority but I think cutting family off for minor aggression is crazy and a sign of mental instability, narcissism and immaturity.

To be clear I am not referring to cases of legitimate abuse, emotional or physical, drugs or alcohol issues. Some people do have shitty families and I feel very sorry for them. The vast majority of whom I see that are estranged from their families are simply ridiculous and selfish people.

Examples:

Sidney is no longer speaking to her older sister because growing up older sister was the favorite and mom an dad showed her more attention. Her sister is a fine and normal person who can sometimes be bossy but Sidney thinks she and her mom and dad are "toxic" and has cut them off. She is, however, very close with her in laws and puts up with all sorts of crap from them. But anything her family says is crazy and they must be avoided.

Ally has put her mother at a distance because she is "old and annoying. She doesn't even know how an iphone works! why can't she get with the times?we're so different!"

Emma cut off her "low class" in laws because she was embarrassed by them. She doesn't let her children have any relationship with them.

We are all imperfect people. Even that difficult mother was once your "mommy" and stayed up all night and fretted over your every sound. Its silly to cut them off for minor human differences.

How do you know Sidney’s parents weren’t emotionally abusive? Blatant favoritism certainly isn’t healthy, and can definitely be abusive.

Omg not every imperfect parenting decision is “abusive.”

We live in a society where the young people feel so empowered to discard blood mothers fathers and siblings. If you don’t have loyalty to your blood relatives who can you possibly have loyalty to? We are rotting from the inside. It’s asinine that this selfish toxic behavior is applauded and seen as the norm.

If your 60+ mother says something awkward, be a grown up, put on your big girl pants and show her some grace and kindness. It’s your freaking mother!!she cleaned your poop and fed you and dealt with you being a teen monster. You’re so perfect that you don’t have the patience to show some kindness?

I was disowned in 2008 by my mother and father for falling in love with someone who is an AA man or in her words "a filthy n-word". My mother cleaned by poop and feed me and dealt with me being a teen monster. She said that I was bringing embarrassment upon her by loving a n-word. If fact when I told her about him during my visit home after dinner, she immediately threw all of my things on the lawn and told me to get out and never return. I saw her again once at a funeral and she refused to even be in the same room as me during the lunch after.

So I ask you, why was she not patient and showing kindness to me? She's supposed to love me unconditionally right?

Also don't assume it is always the young person who does the cutting off. People always that it was I who broke it off, but alas no. She broke it off. And, I was always a good kid, honor roll, ivy league, never in trouble, total nerd, etc. I never thought life would shake out this way. I've heard through the family grapevine she tells people that I'm addicted to drugs because that's the only way I could be in love with and married to my DH, and that our children must be crack babies living in poverty - we are both doctors who met in med school, so life is opposite.

But honestly, why do you think it's just the younger generation breaking things off?

I'm so sorry to hear that. That is awful. Your case is obviously not cutting off family for "no reason."

Since she cut you off without giving you a chance to demonstrate the validity of your new love, thats on her. She is the crazy person cutting off family.

[Anonymous]

When I hear of a person suddenly cutting off family, I generally suppose two things: first, that the person doing the cutting off is suffering from instability or mental health problems, and may need support or assistance; and, second, that the person doing the cutting off is in an abusive relationship and being controlled by the other person, and also needs support or assistance in leaving the abusive relationship.

Eventually, if I find out that neither of the first two suppositions are correct, then I might consider that there is a justified reason such someone who was cut off was an abuser. But usually either my first or second supposition is borne out.

I think that this whole cutting off thing is an unfortunate reflection of our societal trend of propagating intolerance, and it is especially prevalent in one of our younger generations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I hear of a person suddenly cutting off family, I generally suppose two things: first, that the person doing the cutting off is suffering from instability or mental health problems, and may need support or assistance; and, second, that the person doing the cutting off is in an abusive relationship and being controlled by the other person, and also needs support or assistance in leaving the abusive relationship.

Eventually, if I find out that neither of the first two suppositions are correct, then I might consider that there is a justified reason such someone who was cut off was an abuser. But usually either my first or second supposition is borne out.

I think that this whole cutting off thing is an unfortunate reflection of our societal trend of propagating intolerance, and it is especially prevalent in one of our younger generations.

While we have not cut any relatives off, we have certainly maintained a fair distance from crazy and minimized interactions. While the older generations may see this as wrong, I think the younger generation is rightfully tired of propogating these cycles of abuse and intolerance. We finally have the power to stand up for ourselves and create a better future for our children.

[Anonymous]

"Also don't assume it is always the young person who does the cutting off. People always that it was I who broke it off, but alas no. She broke it off. And, I was always a good kid, honor roll, ivy league, never in trouble, total nerd, etc. I never thought life would shake out this way. I've heard through the family grapevine she tells people that I'm addicted to drugs because that's the only way I could be in love with and married to my DH, and that our children must be crack babies living in poverty - we are both doctors who met in med school, so life is opposite."

+1

I wonder if she is jealous of you? That is completely possible.

I have a friend who did better than her sibling - the sibling was given absolutely everything, even what the family technically did not have. The sibling threw all of their opportunities away and totally wasted each and every one of them.

My friend did very well in life, without any support of any kind, (as if she didn't even have parents, most of the time). No one understood why her parents did everything for one child, and not the others (my friend had other siblings). The parents would ask the spoiled sibling "why can't you be more like (my friend)?!" Which of course, infuriated the sibling.

The sibling would do weird stuff like take on my friend's identity and accomplishments, claiming they were hers (not my friend's). If became more and more strange, each year, until my friend finally had it, and cut off communication with their sibling. It was obvious the sibling was/is greedy and probably mentally ill, with (at the very least) strong personality and identity disorders, control issues, and addictions.

Even thought the sibling was a grown adult, they could not hack that my friend did better, for whatever reason. The sibling could not control their own life, so they tried to control my friend, which of course, was ridiculous. When a sibling needs proper professional help, and does not get it, then takes it out on the rest of the family, it is bad. No reason for my friend to have to suffer. I totally understand cutting off someone like that. It can be toxic, and there was/is no helping someone like her sibling, who refuses to see reality. I have met the sibling, and if you ask me, the sibling was/is absolutely jealous of my friend, who is the nicest person I know.