My husband is Muslim. It's pretty typical for those men to want a sahm. Be open to going back to work though. Being a sahm is exhausting work. You sound like me a few years ago. |
|
Black SAHM here. My darling girl, I must give it to you straight, no chaser. The best way to get what you want is to get a good job and search for a man of conventional tastes who is ambitious. For your own sake, I hope that you keep searching for your true career path. No one ever tells you that, unless you are independently wealthy, a DH is another boss. You love your kids, you chafe, you fight, you concede, you continue.
Life can be so much more. |
| Being a stay at home parent isn't for everyone. Especially not for someone who is even slightly lazy. As someone else mentioned, be careful what you wish for. I don't think it's wise to look specifically for what you've listed. But, if that truly is what you're looking for, you should become a faithful member of a whatever denomination of your choice. |
|
FarmersOnly.com
ldsplanet.com ldssingles.com hareiat.com |
| The SAHM works for someone else's glory. |
Thanks for that advice, I hadn't thought anout that. Very helpful. |
OP, I can live with that. True love is laboring for the ones that mean the most to you.
|
| OK Cupid. Just be up front about what you want, but make sure you come across as self-motivated and financially responsible. |
| +1 on religious- catholic, Muslim, etc. DH is Catholic (I was not). He made it clear while we were dating that he wanted a SAHM once any kid arrived. If I had met him in my 20s, I would have laughed at that. I had a successful career as an attorney- top law school and law firm. I met him around the same time I got burned out - early/mid-30’s. It’s also about timing. He doesn’t make a ton - decent government salary, but the money I made while working allows us a nice lifestyle and no worries with retirement or college funding. I do all finances and anything related to house - although I do have cleaning people every other week. I would probably feel weird about that if we were just living on his salary, but income from the “savings” is almost 3/4 of what he makes. Basically the same after taxes, etc come out. There are a number of men that still want the traditional marriage, so just be clear in the dating website. It will weed out those that don’t. |
But the real question: do you like sex? |
|
Join an actual church.
Realize that you will probably be required to have at least 3 kids. Adoption is a possibility. I grew up in a wealthy religious area, this is the way all my childhood neighbors live. |
OP here, totally fine with a gaggle full of children so long as I have my pick at gym classes that I'm interested in. Hence, that why I became a teacher. |
|
I would be cautious about saying you want to be a stay-at-home wife. I think even men who want a SAHM might be put off by that. They may be concerned that you will get bored, and it can be a lot of pressure on the relationship to have you focused just on caring for him. Or you will attract man-babies who want someone to cater to them and do all the boring household stuff so they never have to lift a finger. That's probably not the kind of man you want to attract.
It also seems like, if you're planning on kids, wouldn't you want to earn some money before they arrive? As an aspiring SAHM, it's important that you be financially prudent and a competent manager of whatever your financial situation is. Unless you're looking exclusively for very wealthy men, this would be off-putting. |
So much depends on your DH. The fact is that everyone's idea of heaven is different. Yet when you marry you both have to work together to create heaven for each other and your kids. That process can never be flawless. By SAH you put your partner in an unnaturally powerful position relative to you from the very start. It's also very possible that motherhood will not be what you thought it would be, at least not in the beginning. An unsatisfying job or career is far easier to change than an unsatisfying marriage to the father of your children. If I were you I would seek employment in a field that I truly enjoyed -- lowest ladder rung, if necessary. Then you will able to meet someone who accepts you for the person you actually are. I had a decent job in a field in which I was competent but disliked. It's better to pursue your true interests and attract someone that way. |
| How do you feel about travel, OP? Often men who travel for work need a SAHM to handle everything in their absence, or to bring the kids along and raise them in various other countries. If you're willing to consider living abroad, or being a military wife, make that clear. |