Donor eggs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DE kids are my kids! I never think about their genes. They act (but they don't look) like my bio child because they were raised in the same family with the same values. The donor was of a lower SES but she was also an immigrant (like my low SES parents). Her SES probably has nothing to do with her intelligence and everything to do with her circumstances. Anyway, all of my kids are kind and sweet and are doing great academically. I couldn't care less about their genetic material.

you don't think about your children's genes but people who have their genetic children often observe amazing similarities. it is an extra connection and extra dimension.

I also have a biological child. My bio child and my donor egg twins all have very different personalities. I see a bit of me in each one of them. There is no extra dimension in my relationship with my bio child. In fact I pretty much never think about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my eggs are old and crappy at 40?

They are not like the 20-year-olds, that's true. But that doesn't mean they are without potential, unless you have a sever case of DOR at like 30-years-old or have entered into a menopause. Don't let current IVF industry convince you into that - they want "success rates" and they can get them easy with donor eggs. Couple of donor rounds are a Porsche or a fancy vacation for an RE.

That’s kind of disturbing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend has many failed rounds of IVF due to various health issues. She finally did donor eggs and was successful in conceiving twins. She’s so happy that I don’t even think she sits there and wonder about genetic connections.

a person who survived a car crash and only lost four fingers is probably very happy. doesn't mean that they wouldn't have preferred not to have been in the crash at all.

I understand what you are trying to say. Donor eggs aren’t something I would be comfortable with and evidently not for you either. However, I believe that one can be genuinely happy with a donor egg scenario and not long for their own genetic offspring.

I actually agree with that. I think that it is great that this option exists and I would have pursued it if I could have not had children otherwise. What bothers me is that attitude that it's the same thing, no big deal, "do you want a baby or not" etc. People are made to feel bad wanting what everyone else has.. It's ok to want genetic connection is all I am saying. People are not stupid for caring about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DE kids are my kids! I never think about their genes. They act (but they don't look) like my bio child because they were raised in the same family with the same values. The donor was of a lower SES but she was also an immigrant (like my low SES parents). Her SES probably has nothing to do with her intelligence and everything to do with her circumstances. Anyway, all of my kids are kind and sweet and are doing great academically. I couldn't care less about their genetic material.

Just curious - how much info are you able to know about the donor? Anyhow I have known several women who did egg donation and were not really a lower SES and were extremely intelligent.

why would a highly intelligent woman do egg donation?

Well because she was enticed by the money and liked the idea that she gets to help a couple have a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DE kids are my kids! I never think about their genes. They act (but they don't look) like my bio child because they were raised in the same family with the same values. The donor was of a lower SES but she was also an immigrant (like my low SES parents). Her SES probably has nothing to do with her intelligence and everything to do with her circumstances. Anyway, all of my kids are kind and sweet and are doing great academically. I couldn't care less about their genetic material.

you don't think about your children's genes but people who have their genetic children often observe amazing similarities. it is an extra connection and extra dimension.

I also have a biological child. My bio child and my donor egg twins all have very different personalities. I see a bit of me in each one of them. There is no extra dimension in my relationship with my bio child. In fact I pretty much never think about it.

you don't think about it because you don't want to think about it, which is understandable. other people - almost all people - don't have those taboo thoughts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend has many failed rounds of IVF due to various health issues. She finally did donor eggs and was successful in conceiving twins. She’s so happy that I don’t even think she sits there and wonder about genetic connections.

a person who survived a car crash and only lost four fingers is probably very happy. doesn't mean that they wouldn't have preferred not to have been in the crash at all.

I understand what you are trying to say. Donor eggs aren’t something I would be comfortable with and evidently not for you either. However, I believe that one can be genuinely happy with a donor egg scenario and not long for their own genetic offspring.

I actually agree with that. I think that it is great that this option exists and I would have pursued it if I could have not had children otherwise. What bothers me is that attitude that it's the same thing, no big deal, "do you want a baby or not" etc. People are made to feel bad wanting what everyone else has.. It's ok to want genetic connection is all I am saying. People are not stupid for caring about that.

Exactly- one shouldn’t be made to feel bad if they want that genetic connection.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend has many failed rounds of IVF due to various health issues. She finally did donor eggs and was successful in conceiving twins. She’s so happy that I don’t even think she sits there and wonder about genetic connections.

a person who survived a car crash and only lost four fingers is probably very happy. doesn't mean that they wouldn't have preferred not to have been in the crash at all.

I understand what you are trying to say. Donor eggs aren’t something I would be comfortable with and evidently not for you either. However, I believe that one can be genuinely happy with a donor egg scenario and not long for their own genetic offspring.

I actually agree with that. I think that it is great that this option exists and I would have pursued it if I could have not had children otherwise. What bothers me is that attitude that it's the same thing, no big deal, "do you want a baby or not" etc. People are made to feel bad wanting what everyone else has.. It's ok to want genetic connection is all I am saying. People are not stupid for caring about that.

Exactly. There is a deliberate political (in the media) as well as business agenda (in IVF) that pushes for disregard of one's genes - a reason why people have procreated since the dawn of humanity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my eggs are old and crappy at 40?

Yes -- this is news to you?

actually there was a study shogun that fetuses from older eggs have fewer developmental problems. the idea is that in older women selection is stronger so fewer eggs make embryos and more embryos are miscarried. but if chromosomes are fine they actually do well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DE kids are my kids! I never think about their genes. They act (but they don't look) like my bio child because they were raised in the same family with the same values. The donor was of a lower SES but she was also an immigrant (like my low SES parents). Her SES probably has nothing to do with her intelligence and everything to do with her circumstances. Anyway, all of my kids are kind and sweet and are doing great academically. I couldn't care less about their genetic material.

Just curious - how much info are you able to know about the donor? Anyhow I have known several women who did egg donation and were not really a lower SES and were extremely intelligent.

I know where the donor came from (Colombia). I know she was working toward a nursing degree. I know about her parents and siblings and their medical conditions. She was pretty honest and did not seem to sugar coat things. I know she was a single mother. Her story made my think she was quite intelligent. As the child of poor immigrants myself, I know how difficult it is to go to university when you have very few resources. You can't be dumb and still achieve that much academically.

As far as my DE kids go, they do as well academically as my bio child. My husband and I were very strong through school. We are both successful professionals. The DE kids also don't have the anxiety my bio child probably inherited from me, so they are probably going to do better professionally than my bio child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DE kids are my kids! I never think about their genes. They act (but they don't look) like my bio child because they were raised in the same family with the same values. The donor was of a lower SES but she was also an immigrant (like my low SES parents). Her SES probably has nothing to do with her intelligence and everything to do with her circumstances. Anyway, all of my kids are kind and sweet and are doing great academically. I couldn't care less about their genetic material.

you don't think about your children's genes but people who have their genetic children often observe amazing similarities. it is an extra connection and extra dimension.

I also have a biological child. My bio child and my donor egg twins all have very different personalities. I see a bit of me in each one of them. There is no extra dimension in my relationship with my bio child. In fact I pretty much never think about it.

you don't think about it because you don't want to think about it, which is understandable. other people - almost all people - don't have those taboo thoughts.

I don't think about because I live a normal busy life with my normal kids.

[Anonymous]

In my view my husband would have a child with another woman not me. No matter how blasé REs are about that and how much uproar comes from the group that says that genetic connection doesn't matter, no matter how nicely packaged the offer of donor egg, the plain truth is that my husband would be procreating with another woman. That's why I could never do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DE kids are my kids! I never think about their genes. They act (but they don't look) like my bio child because they were raised in the same family with the same values. The donor was of a lower SES but she was also an immigrant (like my low SES parents). Her SES probably has nothing to do with her intelligence and everything to do with her circumstances. Anyway, all of my kids are kind and sweet and are doing great academically. I couldn't care less about their genetic material.

Just curious - how much info are you able to know about the donor? Anyhow I have known several women who did egg donation and were not really a lower SES and were extremely intelligent.

I know where the donor came from (Colombia). I know she was working toward a nursing degree. I know about her parents and siblings and their medical conditions. She was pretty honest and did not seem to sugar coat things. I know she was a single mother. Her story made my think she was quite intelligent. As the child of poor immigrants myself, I know how difficult it is to go to university when you have very few resources. You can't be dumb and still achieve that much academically.

As far as my DE kids go, they do as well academically as my bio child. My husband and I were very strong through school. We are both successful professionals. The DE kids also don't have the anxiety my bio child probably inherited from me, so they are probably going to do better professionally than my bio child.

Wow you actually get a lot of information. The women I know that have donated were all working towards a degree too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DE kids are my kids! I never think about their genes. They act (but they don't look) like my bio child because they were raised in the same family with the same values. The donor was of a lower SES but she was also an immigrant (like my low SES parents). Her SES probably has nothing to do with her intelligence and everything to do with her circumstances. Anyway, all of my kids are kind and sweet and are doing great academically. I couldn't care less about their genetic material.

Just curious - how much info are you able to know about the donor? Anyhow I have known several women who did egg donation and were not really a lower SES and were extremely intelligent.

I know where the donor came from (Colombia). I know she was working toward a nursing degree. I know about her parents and siblings and their medical conditions. She was pretty honest and did not seem to sugar coat things. I know she was a single mother. Her story made my think she was quite intelligent. As the child of poor immigrants myself, I know how difficult it is to go to university when you have very few resources. You can't be dumb and still achieve that much academically.

As far as my DE kids go, they do as well academically as my bio child. My husband and I were very strong through school. We are both successful professionals. The DE kids also don't have the anxiety my bio child probably inherited from me, so they are probably going to do better professionally than my bio child.

I thought you didn't have time to think about stuff like that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my view my husband would have a child with another woman not me. No matter how blasé REs are about that and how much uproar comes from the group that says that genetic connection doesn't matter, no matter how nicely packaged the offer of donor egg, the plain truth is that my husband would be procreating with another woman. That's why I could never do it.[/

I agree 100 % ... I couldn’t get past that

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DE kids are my kids! I never think about their genes. They act (but they don't look) like my bio child because they were raised in the same family with the same values. The donor was of a lower SES but she was also an immigrant (like my low SES parents). Her SES probably has nothing to do with her intelligence and everything to do with her circumstances. Anyway, all of my kids are kind and sweet and are doing great academically. I couldn't care less about their genetic material.

Just curious - how much info are you able to know about the donor? Anyhow I have known several women who did egg donation and were not really a lower SES and were extremely intelligent.

I know where the donor came from (Colombia). I know she was working toward a nursing degree. I know about her parents and siblings and their medical conditions. She was pretty honest and did not seem to sugar coat things. I know she was a single mother. Her story made my think she was quite intelligent. As the child of poor immigrants myself, I know how difficult it is to go to university when you have very few resources. You can't be dumb and still achieve that much academically.

As far as my DE kids go, they do as well academically as my bio child. My husband and I were very strong through school. We are both successful professionals. The DE kids also don't have the anxiety my bio child probably inherited from me, so they are probably going to do better professionally than my bio child.

I thought you didn't have time to think about stuff like that?

Of course I think about where problems may have originated, especially when I am engaged in a discussion about donor eggs. Do I think about these things daily when we are getting ready for school, doing homework, playing hockey, giving baths? No. If one of the DE kids came down with an illness, then yes I would start to think about their genetic background. But otherwise, it is absolutely not something I think about often.