My 7 year Old Suspended for four Days MCPS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does your child have an IEP yet? Sounds like he does not.

Your child was behaving insanely, doing something that every 2nd grader knows is not allowed. "I wasn't doing anything wrong" in his opinion is not a defense. You can't seriously think he thinks what he was doing is okay.

Then he openly defied an adult's instructions rather than going to the office. I doubt he stopped throwing things immediately, either. Teachers don't send kids to the office if they stop doing what they are doing when told.

When he was told by that adult again to go to the office, he backtalked her. Offense 3 or 4 at this point.

Then he defied her again and ran away. Do you know how many adults probably had to be alerted about an absconding child at that point? Probabaly a lot, because a kid as defiant as yours could be a runner and run out of the building. It's a big deal. Offense 4 or 5, a major one.

And THEN he purposefully assaults the adult in front of another adult?

Suspension is warranted. Multi-day. You could quibble about whether it is 3 or 4 days but to what end? Do you think what your child did is in any way acceptable? (Even if it were true that the adult mimicked his backtalking, which seems beyond unlikely, that doesn't make his behavior in any way acceptable.)

Even if he gets an ADHD diagnosis, you can't let him think that a series of unsafe behaviors, backtalk, defiance, absconding, and assaulting an adult is okay or defensible. Stay home with him those 4 days, no screens, and work with him. Do educational things, puzzles, read aloud a, schoolwork, and apology letters. And realize that how you react now may determine whether this happens again. This is not the time to turn on the school. This is the time to hold your child close and arrest some very bad behavior.

DP. For an NT 7 year old, and all of that, a 4 day suspension is way too long. Stop and think for a moment.

A suspension is supposed to send a signal to the parent, a strong signal. A 1 or 2 day suspension sends one signal to a parent, that the child crossed a line. Engaged parents understand that signal, while checked out parents may not. A 4 day suspension is an invitation for the child to leave -- which is wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your seven year old kicked a teacher. That's all the information you need. I honestly wish they would remove any (neurotypical) kid who gets physical with a teacher from the school permanently. Special placement in a class for behavior disorders. Or find a private.

OP here: As I stated he is getting evaluated for a variety of executive functioning issues that the school is well aware of, including triggers. He has been in OT for sensory issues so I'm unsure he's the "neurotypical" child you're referring to.

I totally disagree with the above rude PP.

But OP, your child is does not have an IEP or a documented disability in the eyes of the school, or even medically. So the protections that would be afforded to a child who has disabilities don't apply to your child.

You may want to spend the break trying to get an evaluation and determine if your child does have a disability, and present this information to the school.

OP here: Thankfully he has an evaluation on Thursday which the school was aware of prior to this incident.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does your child have an IEP yet? Sounds like he does not.

Your child was behaving insanely, doing something that every 2nd grader knows is not allowed. "I wasn't doing anything wrong" in his opinion is not a defense. You can't seriously think he thinks what he was doing is okay.

Then he openly defied an adult's instructions rather than going to the office. I doubt he stopped throwing things immediately, either. Teachers don't send kids to the office if they stop doing what they are doing when told.

When he was told by that adult again to go to the office, he backtalked her. Offense 3 or 4 at this point.

Then he defied her again and ran away. Do you know how many adults probably had to be alerted about an absconding child at that point? Probabaly a lot, because a kid as defiant as yours could be a runner and run out of the building. It's a big deal. Offense 4 or 5, a major one.

And THEN he purposefully assaults the adult in front of another adult?

Suspension is warranted. Multi-day. You could quibble about whether it is 3 or 4 days but to what end? Do you think what your child did is in any way acceptable? (Even if it were true that the adult mimicked his backtalking, which seems beyond unlikely, that doesn't make his behavior in any way acceptable.)

Even if he gets an ADHD diagnosis, you can't let him think that a series of unsafe behaviors, backtalk, defiance, absconding, and assaulting an adult is okay or defensible. Stay home with him those 4 days, no screens, and work with him. Do educational things, puzzles, read aloud a, schoolwork, and apology letters. And realize that how you react now may determine whether this happens again. This is not the time to turn on the school. This is the time to hold your child close and arrest some very bad behavior.

OP knows the behavior is out of hand. If it was as simple as telling OP she needs to 'arrest bad behavior," she wouldn't be here. She knows this is serious. Do you have anything helpful to say, beyond your lectures?

Her post implies that 4 days is too long a suspension because her child is being evaluated and her kid claims the para is mean. I believe a 4 day suspension is warranted, period, and that she needs to stop excuse-making.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does your child have an IEP yet? Sounds like he does not.

Your child was behaving insanely, doing something that every 2nd grader knows is not allowed. "I wasn't doing anything wrong" in his opinion is not a defense. You can't seriously think he thinks what he was doing is okay.

Then he openly defied an adult's instructions rather than going to the office. I doubt he stopped throwing things immediately, either. Teachers don't send kids to the office if they stop doing what they are doing when told.

When he was told by that adult again to go to the office, he backtalked her. Offense 3 or 4 at this point.

Then he defied her again and ran away. Do you know how many adults probably had to be alerted about an absconding child at that point? Probabaly a lot, because a kid as defiant as yours could be a runner and run out of the building. It's a big deal. Offense 4 or 5, a major one.

And THEN he purposefully assaults the adult in front of another adult?

Suspension is warranted. Multi-day. You could quibble about whether it is 3 or 4 days but to what end? Do you think what your child did is in any way acceptable? (Even if it were true that the adult mimicked his backtalking, which seems beyond unlikely, that doesn't make his behavior in any way acceptable.)

Even if he gets an ADHD diagnosis, you can't let him think that a series of unsafe behaviors, backtalk, defiance, absconding, and assaulting an adult is okay or defensible. Stay home with him those 4 days, no screens, and work with him. Do educational things, puzzles, read aloud a, schoolwork, and apology letters. And realize that how you react now may determine whether this happens again. This is not the time to turn on the school. This is the time to hold your child close and arrest some very bad behavior.

OP knows the behavior is out of hand. If it was as simple as telling OP she needs to 'arrest bad behavior," she wouldn't be here. She knows this is serious. Do you have anything helpful to say, beyond your lectures?

Her post implies that 4 days is too long a suspension because her child is being evaluated and her kid claims the para is mean. I believe a 4 day suspension is warranted, period, and that she needs to stop excuse-making.

Well, you'd be wrong about that on many levels. It sounds like this child is pretty certain to qualify for an IEP, so the school ought to have taken that into consideration before the suspension. And even for an NT 7 year old, 4 days would be too long. You're looking at this from a punitive perspective, not from a perspective of what's actually going to HELP the child. It's ok, it's very common for people to just want to punish. Parents facing behavioral issues like OP (and me, in the past) quickly learn how to weed out you Masked Avenger types.

If you'd actually like to learn and engage instead of being punitive, here's some information for you:

https://www.pbis.org/evaluation/evaluation-briefs/suspensions-and-future

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does your child have an IEP yet? Sounds like he does not.

Your child was behaving insanely, doing something that every 2nd grader knows is not allowed. "I wasn't doing anything wrong" in his opinion is not a defense. You can't seriously think he thinks what he was doing is okay.

Then he openly defied an adult's instructions rather than going to the office. I doubt he stopped throwing things immediately, either. Teachers don't send kids to the office if they stop doing what they are doing when told.

When he was told by that adult again to go to the office, he backtalked her. Offense 3 or 4 at this point.

Then he defied her again and ran away. Do you know how many adults probably had to be alerted about an absconding child at that point? Probabaly a lot, because a kid as defiant as yours could be a runner and run out of the building. It's a big deal. Offense 4 or 5, a major one.

And THEN he purposefully assaults the adult in front of another adult?

Suspension is warranted. Multi-day. You could quibble about whether it is 3 or 4 days but to what end? Do you think what your child did is in any way acceptable? (Even if it were true that the adult mimicked his backtalking, which seems beyond unlikely, that doesn't make his behavior in any way acceptable.)

Even if he gets an ADHD diagnosis, you can't let him think that a series of unsafe behaviors, backtalk, defiance, absconding, and assaulting an adult is okay or defensible. Stay home with him those 4 days, no screens, and work with him. Do educational things, puzzles, read aloud a, schoolwork, and apology letters. And realize that how you react now may determine whether this happens again. This is not the time to turn on the school. This is the time to hold your child close and arrest some very bad behavior.

DP. For an NT 7 year old, and all of that, a 4 day suspension is way too long. Stop and think for a moment.

A suspension is supposed to send a signal to the parent, a strong signal. A 1 or 2 day suspension sends one signal to a parent, that the child crossed a line. Engaged parents understand that signal, while checked out parents may not. A 4 day suspension is an invitation for the child to leave -- which is wrong.

+1 4 days is really long suspension for such a young kid and a kick. I would appeal, particularly because it sounds like the substitute exacerbated the issue (no one should mock a child like that).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No personal experience, but the adults in that situation handled things terribly. He needs a different para at the very least.

+1

How horrible to taunt a child.

[Anonymous]

Ironically OP, this 4-day suspension could actually end up helping you get an IEP. One key factor in determining IEP eligibility is if the disability results in being unable to access the curriculum. Assuming his behavior stems from ADHD, this suspension is proof positive that it's keeping him from being able to access the curriculum. That's the argument I would make, anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son has been suspended for 4 days for kicking a paraeducator. I feel awful about it. I'm trying to see what my next steps should be. The incident started on the playground where according to him he was throwing mulch and rocks on the ground. Another student went to the paraeducator and said that he was throwing rocks at them. The paraeducator then came to my son and according to him yelled "NO THROWING ROCKS" and said he had to go to the office after recces.

My son did not do that, he proceeded to go to the special he had after recess because he didn't think he had done anything wrong. The paraeducator sees him standing in line at his special and tells him again to go to the office, in front of the other children and the substitute teacher, as the normal special teacher was out that day. He then asks the substitute if he can stay in class because he didn't do anything wrong. The substitute proceeds to mock him and repeats in a high pitched voice "I didn't do anything wrong." My son then runs away. He runs through the hallways at school and knocks over a recycling bin. He then runs down the stairs towards the office and is confronted by the assistant principal. As he is talking to her the paraeducator who has been following him walks up as well. He then kicks her in the knee.

A little background on my son. He has been having behavioral issues this year in class where this same paraeducator is his TA. He did not have any issues in K or 1st grade. He has stated to me prior to this incident that she picks on him. He's had a difficult year so far with acting out in class, being easily frustrated, and leaving when upset, and last week I met with the school regarding a FBA. They are in the process of observing him to create a Behavior Intervention Plan. The school is also aware that he is getting tested on Thursday for potential ADHD, etc. We talked about triggers etc. but I'm unsure they were shared with the paraeducator in question.

He obviously should never have kicked anyone and will be punished in that regard.

What should I do in this situation? Any input is appreciated.

Are you absolutely sure this happened? Was it witnessed, or just your sons reporting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your seven year old kicked a teacher. That's all the information you need. I honestly wish they would remove any (neurotypical) kid who gets physical with a teacher from the school permanently. Special placement in a class for behavior disorders. Or find a private.

OP here: As I stated he is getting evaluated for a variety of executive functioning issues that the school is well aware of, including triggers. He has been in OT for sensory issues so I'm unsure he's the "neurotypical" child you're referring to.

I have a child with severe ADHD. I never allowed that to be an excuse for harming another person. Especially a teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your seven year old kicked a teacher. That's all the information you need. I honestly wish they would remove any (neurotypical) kid who gets physical with a teacher from the school permanently. Special placement in a class for behavior disorders. Or find a private.

OP here: As I stated he is getting evaluated for a variety of executive functioning issues that the school is well aware of, including triggers. He has been in OT for sensory issues so I'm unsure he's the "neurotypical" child you're referring to.

I have a child with severe ADHD. I never allowed that to be an excuse for harming another person. Especially a teacher.

Whoa. Slow down. I did not read OP's post as "excusing" her kid's behavior but rather explaining it. Those are 2 different things. My sense is that OP does not excuse the behavior but is wondering whether this suspension is an appropriate response given all the circumstances that led to it. Based on what's been shared, my answer is no. I'd want to know what other issues have occurred. Has there been progressive discipline? What is the thinking around 4 days? Why not fewer days? Why not in-school suspension?

[Anonymous]

For what it's worth, your son sounds just like mine in how he reacts. Mine would feel as though the had been accused of something he didn't think he had done, wouldn't want to accept the consequence, would run away and/or become aggressive (fight or flight mentality). Luckily he is in a good program, where the emphasis is on supporting him rather than punishing him (so suspensions have not been as long). He has ADHD and anxiety, and it is the anxiety that caused him to act out so much when his impulsive behavior gets him in trouble. Once we started to treat him for anxiety, things started to get better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your seven year old kicked a teacher. That's all the information you need. I honestly wish they would remove any (neurotypical) kid who gets physical with a teacher from the school permanently. Special placement in a class for behavior disorders. Or find a private.

OP here: As I stated he is getting evaluated for a variety of executive functioning issues that the school is well aware of, including triggers. He has been in OT for sensory issues so I'm unsure he's the "neurotypical" child you're referring to.

I have a child with severe ADHD. I never allowed that to be an excuse for harming another person. Especially a teacher.

Where do you get the picture that she is excusing her child? Like it or not, behavior is in interaction with the environment. If punishing, yelling, suspending, reporting, were all that it took to get "good" behavior, there would be no behavioral problems. OP is describing what's happened (to the best of her knowledge) and looking for solutions. She is doing the right thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your seven year old kicked a teacher. That's all the information you need. I honestly wish they would remove any (neurotypical) kid who gets physical with a teacher from the school permanently. Special placement in a class for behavior disorders. Or find a private.

I hate to say this but I kind of agree. I have the utmpst empathy for those of you with SN kids and the struggles you face. My DD is in K though and has been pushed, hit and choked by 2 different kids with autism. I know those kids cant help it and I have tried to tell DD that but the fact remains she should not have to be at school with the threat of bodily harm from other students.
I think the mainstreaming of SN kids has gone too far. I dont understand why there cant be smaller classes with special educators and have all the SN kids in one class learning what they need to learn at their own pace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son has been suspended for 4 days for kicking a paraeducator. I feel awful about it. I'm trying to see what my next steps should be. The incident started on the playground where according to him he was throwing mulch and rocks on the ground. Another student went to the paraeducator and said that he was throwing rocks at them. The paraeducator then came to my son and according to him yelled "NO THROWING ROCKS" and said he had to go to the office after recces.

My son did not do that, he proceeded to go to the special he had after recess because he didn't think he had done anything wrong. The paraeducator sees him standing in line at his special and tells him again to go to the office, in front of the other children and the substitute teacher, as the normal special teacher was out that day. He then asks the substitute if he can stay in class because he didn't do anything wrong. The substitute proceeds to mock him and repeats in a high pitched voice "I didn't do anything wrong." My son then runs away. He runs through the hallways at school and knocks over a recycling bin. He then runs down the stairs towards the office and is confronted by the assistant principal. As he is talking to her the paraeducator who has been following him walks up as well. He then kicks her in the knee.

A little background on my son. He has been having behavioral issues this year in class where this same paraeducator is his TA. He did not have any issues in K or 1st grade. He has stated to me prior to this incident that she picks on him. He's had a difficult year so far with acting out in class, being easily frustrated, and leaving when upset, and last week I met with the school regarding a FBA. They are in the process of observing him to create a Behavior Intervention Plan. The school is also aware that he is getting tested on Thursday for potential ADHD, etc. We talked about triggers etc. but I'm unsure they were shared with the paraeducator in question.

He obviously should never have kicked anyone and will be punished in that regard.

What should I do in this situation? Any input is appreciated.

Are you absolutely sure this happened? Was it witnessed, or just your sons reporting?

OP's description makes very clear where she is reporting what her son told her, what she knows, and what she doesn't know. What you're implying is that her son is lying and she's believing him. I don't see anything here to indicate that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your seven year old kicked a teacher. That's all the information you need. I honestly wish they would remove any (neurotypical) kid who gets physical with a teacher from the school permanently. Special placement in a class for behavior disorders. Or find a private.

I hate to say this but I kind of agree. I have the utmpst empathy for those of you with SN kids and the struggles you face. My DD is in K though and has been pushed, hit and choked by 2 different kids with autism. I know those kids cant help it and I have tried to tell DD that but the fact remains she should not have to be at school with the threat of bodily harm from other students.
I think the mainstreaming of SN kids has gone too far. I dont understand why there cant be smaller classes with special educators and have all the SN kids in one class learning what they need to learn at their own pace.

Go away from the SN board, please.