My 7 year Old Suspended for four Days MCPS

[Anonymous]

Lead is an issue with some kids but you'd know if your house has a lot of lead in it and you have a medical doctor test, not a random lab. And, how would kids even get high levels of mercury - you talk about diet, then you need to look at your diet and how its impacting your child. Not all of us have those issues. We pulled out 99% of the lead materials in our house before we had kids so the exposure would be very minimal at best.

And, lithium.. my kid is not drinking much bottled water nor did anyone take lithium during pregnancy.

[Anonymous]

OP, sending you a virtual hug. It's hard having a kid with behavioral issues, and it can often feel like there is very little sympathy for the kids (and parents) dealing with these issues. Even camps and schools that are known for being very welcoming to special needs can have very little tolerance for behavioral issues.

I want to tell you two things. First, things can get so much better for your child - and getting an IEP and figuring out exactly what your child needs help with are a big part of that. Our youngest had a spectacularly awful first two months of K - and then we got him moved to a new school, where he now has an IEP and the support he needs. He is truly a different child with this help and support.

Second, I work in MCPS and I have never heard of a four day suspension for a young elementary school aged child. I'm not saying it's not possible, but it is very much out of line with the punishments I've seen at my school and my children's schools. I would absolutely reach out to others, both within your child's school and within MCPS, to find out more about the incident and how that particular punishment was chosen.

Good luck to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, has anyone mentioned testing for ASD and anxiety? I only bring this up because rigid thinking is a big red flag. It sounds like he knew he didn't do anything wrong and his lack of flexibility in responding to a reprimand led to this whole series of events.

And I agree that this para needs to be kept away from your DS. Unfortunately we're dealing with the same thing right now with a TA who keeps escalating with my DS. Yes, kids with ADHD and/or ASD can be difficult but there's one adult in that dynamic so the weight should be on them to deescalate.

There are more to things than just ASD and anxiety. Lots of other options or it may be none at all and just a bad school fit. OP should get her child evaluated rather than allow those on here to do the ASD, ADHD, Anxiety diagnosis.

Well, yes .. that is exactly what I said. OP is already pursuing an evaluation for ADHD. She should know that there are other things that should also be included in testing so she has the most accurate information.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am the person who advised you to make a FERPA request for copies of all records related to this incident so that you have the school's side of this story.

After reading these, I would definitely document back to the school your son's version of the story. I would make sure to include specific facts relayed by your son about the mocking tone or any other inappropriate behavior. I would also include all the details your son related about past negative experiences with any teachers.

My DS has an IEP. He has endured many instances of people talking to him in an inappropriate manner. In middle school, we started documenting by email all such instances. My DS is old enough to write the email himself. They usually say something like, "Dear Ms. X -- It really hurt my feelings today when I asked for an extended deadline under my IEP and you told me no because I am just being lazy. I am working very hard and sometimes things take me longer due to my disability."

The first few times were hard. Some teachers were angry. We would document the angry reaction back again. Some teachers out-right lied -- "I never said that" -- but DC's documentation is so specific that the teacher really doesn't look credible.

What we have found is that documenting stops this kind of behavior. Even the stupidest teacher eventually realizes that this kind of paper trail is bad for them. On rare occasions we have had to share the documentation with special ed coordinators or the principal and the problem is usually addressed swiftly.

It feels scary to do this, but IME, it is actually effective.

[Anonymous]

I almost wonder if, based on all the facts here, the principal knows that this aide/para is a problem that is not going to be quickly solved, and the easiest resolution is just to suspend the child since that's easier than firing or suspending the para?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a child with behavioral issues.

One of the ABSOLUTE WORST things that happened to him in K was repeated suspensions for behavioral episodes (this was with an IEP for ASD). Because he learned that if he did X, he would get rewarded with a day away from school. Suspending a child with behaviors is literally the most counterproductive thing this school can do. It took us years to recover from the fallout from this shitshow.

How well did you follow up at home with other consequences? Was your child watching TV, playing consoles and/or playing with his toys all day? Or was he sitting in a boring room thinking about the reasons why he was suspended?

Schools aren't responsible for raising your kid(s). They need your help. If they suspend a child and his parents then reward him with a few days off school as if it's the weekend, then yeah, I can see why some kids would just want to do it again. Schools can't do all the heavy lifting. You need to help. (And yes, I have a child with SN.)

If you were doing your part as a parent, and having your child sit at the dining table or whatever for large parts of the day (whatever your child can not-comfortably manage) and reading quietly and thinking about why he's not at school playing and having fun like the other kids, and he was still WANTING to do that again (which is very different from not being able to control the behaviors, but actually trying to misbehave to get the reward), then I'd be seriously considering whether there's some kind of bullying or abuse going on at school, and trying to address that.

This is a 5 year old with autism we're talking about. He needs hands-on help IN THE ENVIRONMENT to be successful. Not to be made to sit at a table reading! And likely the school environment was stressful to him (the whole point is that he didn't want to be "at school playing and having fun like the other kids" because ... he was not like the other kids.) He likely doesn't have the capacity to think fruitfully about the "reasons why he was suspended." So short of putting him in the stocks at home for days, I'm not sure what you're envisioning. You seem to be describing appropriate treatment for an NT 10 year old, not an autistic kindergartener.

Saying "this is a 5 year old with autism" in a general way like that is NOT doing anyone any favors. Certainly not the parents of children with an IEP for ASD.

What happens when people like you make generalizations like that is that next time there's a birthday party, or really anything at all, there will be a some hosts who don't invite him because they think "No way! He's a 5 year old WITH AUTISM!" and they expect a set of behavior that may or may not be anything like what this particular child exhibits. And ironically, it's also people like you who would be first to complain about your little Larlo not being invited to something when "he would be able to do that activity! And he wouldn't be a problem! They didn't give us a chance! Someone heard that our kid had an ASD IEP and they're judging us!" Or people will hear that a kid has an IEP for ASD and then not want their child working with that other child, etc etc etc. Basically a whole heap of judgements that are actually quite unfair. Every child on the spectrum has a unique set of challenges.

All we know is what PP wrote. She wrote that her child is intelligent and manipulative. She is his caretaker and parent who lives with him and presumably knows his behavior better than you do, and she said that he WOULD HAVE and/or COULD HAVE had control over himself, but CHOSE to misbehave because he wanted to stay home instead of going to school. He knew what the consequences would be, and he chose to misbehave because he preferred the consequences to the alternative. PP implied that had the school chosen another consequence, her child would not have misbehaved (or not misbehaved as much).

Of course he also needs hands on help in the environment. He most likely also needs a bunch of other support like someone cleaning up his diet, checking for nutritional deficiencies, hair analysis for metals, etc. But that doesn't change the fact that a boy made what seemed to be a rational decision to choose one consequence over the situation he was in. Everyone should be asking the question whether the consequence was too much fun or there are big problems at school, not making blanket statements about what it means to "have autism".

Anyway, to the PP I was originally talking to, I'd definitely investigate further to see what else could be going on (and wrong) at school, given that you say his behavior tends to be much better at home. Maybe it's simply the wrong school for him, for any number of reasons.

You're being ridiculous to suggest that effective discipline would include shutting an autistic 5 year old up in his room to reflect on his behavior for FOUR DAYS.

Hair analysis for metals? Diet? oh my... if the rest of us were only as smart as you, none of our kids would have SN.

Actually, a restricted diet and a lot of nutritional support (sometimes called 'biomed') has actually made an enormous difference for my SN child. It's a major PITA to restrict the diet so much and convince a younger child to take a bunch of pills every day (or sneak them into foods), but I'm delighted to not have my child suffer every single day and night like before. Science doesn't lie. Kids with ASD tend to have similar hair test results (e.g. low lithium, low zinc, high copper, high mercury) and correcting these things can make a huge difference in their behavior and overall happiness. It's unfortunate that you think so poorly of it.

Please support with peer-reviewed science published in reputable journals, or go elsewhere with your quackery.

Here's a guy from one of the major, well respected labs in the US making a statement about lithium: https://www.greatplainslaboratory.com/articles-1/2015/11/13/lithium-deficiency-common-in-mental-illness-and-social-ills
There are also links to articles.

Here's a study showing that "In conclusion, there were higher levels of the heavy metals mercury, lead, and aluminum in the hair of children with autism in comparison to controls":
https://www.hindawi.com/journals/bn/2015/545674/

They were literally the first 2 results on a simple google search.

If you want to help your child, you can go find all the information you need. Just open your eyes.

The hair test takes 3 minutes then you mail it away with a check. What have you got to lose? $40??? I can't believe any parent of any child with any SN (but especially ASD) wouldn't do it if they knew about it.

Are you really that gullible? Your first link is a for-profit laboratory that specializes in doing tests to support quack theories like "biomed" that rip off and exploit vulnerable parents.

Your second link is an "open access" journal -- ie no real peer review, anyone can publish there if they pay, notorious for junk science.

Show me research in a major, peer-reviewed journal, like BMJ, the Lancet, NEJM.

There is NO good evidence for the "biomed" approach to autism. But there is a lot of evidence that quack, non-evidence based therapies like chelation cause financial and physical harm.

https://sciencebasedmedicine.org/the-autism-biomed-movement-uncontrolled-and-unethical-experimentation-on-autistic-children/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lead is an issue with some kids but you'd know if your house has a lot of lead in it and you have a medical doctor test, not a random lab. And, how would kids even get high levels of mercury - you talk about diet, then you need to look at your diet and how its impacting your child. Not all of us have those issues. We pulled out 99% of the lead materials in our house before we had kids so the exposure would be very minimal at best.

And, lithium.. my kid is not drinking much bottled water nor did anyone take lithium during pregnancy.

concerns about mercury in the hair = antivax (mercury in thimerosol preservative).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lead is an issue with some kids but you'd know if your house has a lot of lead in it and you have a medical doctor test, not a random lab. And, how would kids even get high levels of mercury - you talk about diet, then you need to look at your diet and how its impacting your child. Not all of us have those issues. We pulled out 99% of the lead materials in our house before we had kids so the exposure would be very minimal at best.

And, lithium.. my kid is not drinking much bottled water nor did anyone take lithium during pregnancy.

concerns about mercury in the hair = antivax (mercury in thimerosol preservative).

I thought they got rid of that preservative. I'm concerned about vaccines and we don't do all at once but more than likely your child had the symptoms prior to the vaccine and if not, its a vaccine related reaction and that's a separate issue. (we have had bad reactions and you know when your child is having a reaction)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I almost wonder if, based on all the facts here, the principal knows that this aide/para is a problem that is not going to be quickly solved, and the easiest resolution is just to suspend the child since that's easier than firing or suspending the para?

Sometimes it's because the principal wants to look tough and in charge to the teachers. They get evaluated by their staff which figures into performance evaluations and their salaries and it's a much more direct correlation than what parents think. Some teachers get emotional and demand suspensions. FWIW OP, your child may have made some mistakes, but he does not deserve this. He is 7. The staff is what 20s, 30s or 40s?

[Anonymous]

My DC at the age of 7 was suspended for 3 days at a Bethesda ES. Total clusterf*ck. It was the principal's call. The rest of the staff looked stunned and embarrassed. In the end we got county placement because it was clear 1) the school couldn't handle dc and 2) dc needed different/better. MCPS is an f-in mess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DC at the age of 7 was suspended for 3 days at a Bethesda ES. Total clusterf*ck. It was the principal's call. The rest of the staff looked stunned and embarrassed. In the end we got county placement because it was clear 1) the school couldn't handle dc and 2) dc needed different/better. MCPS is an f-in mess.

This is why Maryland now prohibits most suspensions for K-2 kids. The law just went into effect for this school year.

http://mgaleg.maryland.gov/webmga/frmMain.aspx?pid=billpage&stab=01&id=hb0425&tab=subject3&ys=2017RS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DC at the age of 7 was suspended for 3 days at a Bethesda ES. Total clusterf*ck. It was the principal's call. The rest of the staff looked stunned and embarrassed. In the end we got county placement because it was clear 1) the school couldn't handle dc and 2) dc needed different/better. MCPS is an f-in mess.

This is why Maryland now prohibits most suspensions for K-2 kids. The law just went into effect for this school year.

http://mgaleg.maryland.gov/webmga/frmMain.aspx?pid=billpage&stab=01&id=hb0425&tab=subject3&ys=2017RS

That's good news! People thought our case should have been publicized but I was in the midst of going to county and I didn't want to encounter any problems as a result of this so I kept quiet.

[Anonymous]

I hate to say this but I kind of agree. I have the utmpst empathy for those of you with SN kids and the struggles you face. My DD is in K though and has been pushed, hit and choked by 2 different kids with autism. I know those kids cant help it and I have tried to tell DD that but the fact remains she should not have to be at school with the threat of bodily harm from other students.
I think the mainstreaming of SN kids has gone too far. I dont understand why there cant be smaller classes with special educators and have all the SN kids in one class learning what they need to learn at their own pace.

I gently suggest you direct your energies advocating for increased funding for children with disabilities rather than opining on a forum for Children with SNs. If you really had 'empathy' for us, you would know the reason there aren't smaller classes and more special ed teachers is because IDEA has never been fully funded by Congress. Also, your ideas about segregation are grossly outdated. Not all kids with SN have behavioral problems nor are all of them slow learners. In fact, AAP/G&T is a type of special education.

FWIW, in 2nd grade, my NT DD was punched in the nose by a student in her class who did not have special needs. He did not get suspended at all (this is an FCPS Title 1 school). The family was already working with the school on his behavioral issues and I had every reason to believe the situation was handled appropriately by them. An out of school suspension is NOT the answer here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the part about the para-educator mocking your child really struck me. I think you need to make a big deal about this and, if I were you, i would make it a separate issue from the appeal of the suspension itself. I would not want my child around this person.

Op here: I will definitely be making this a point. She is also a teacher in the afterschool program and has gotten complaints on yelling at the children and being unnecessarily harsh. This came up at an all parent meeting the program had earlier this year.

OP, which is the person who mocked him? The para or the substitute specials teacher? You agreed with the PP here but in your OP you stated:

"He then asks the substitute if he can stay in class because he didn't do anything wrong. The substitute proceeds to mock him and repeats in a high pitched voice "I didn't do anything wrong." My son then runs away. "

It sounds like you've gotten one side of the story but can't seem to manage to keep that straight...

OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DC at the age of 7 was suspended for 3 days at a Bethesda ES. Total clusterf*ck. It was the principal's call. The rest of the staff looked stunned and embarrassed. In the end we got county placement because it was clear 1) the school couldn't handle dc and 2) dc needed different/better. MCPS is an f-in mess.

That stinks but I'm glad it worked out. I know a 5 year old who was suspended in MCPS. Principal was a real troll.