My 7 year Old Suspended for four Days MCPS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a child with behavioral issues.

One of the ABSOLUTE WORST things that happened to him in K was repeated suspensions for behavioral episodes (this was with an IEP for ASD). Because he learned that if he did X, he would get rewarded with a day away from school. Suspending a child with behaviors is literally the most counterproductive thing this school can do. It took us years to recover from the fallout from this shitshow.

How well did you follow up at home with other consequences? Was your child watching TV, playing consoles and/or playing with his toys all day? Or was he sitting in a boring room thinking about the reasons why he was suspended?

Schools aren't responsible for raising your kid(s). They need your help. If they suspend a child and his parents then reward him with a few days off school as if it's the weekend, then yeah, I can see why some kids would just want to do it again. Schools can't do all the heavy lifting. You need to help. (And yes, I have a child with SN.)

If you were doing your part as a parent, and having your child sit at the dining table or whatever for large parts of the day (whatever your child can not-comfortably manage) and reading quietly and thinking about why he's not at school playing and having fun like the other kids, and he was still WANTING to do that again (which is very different from not being able to control the behaviors, but actually trying to misbehave to get the reward), then I'd be seriously considering whether there's some kind of bullying or abuse going on at school, and trying to address that.

This is a 5 year old with autism we're talking about. He needs hands-on help IN THE ENVIRONMENT to be successful. Not to be made to sit at a table reading! And likely the school environment was stressful to him (the whole point is that he didn't want to be "at school playing and having fun like the other kids" because ... he was not like the other kids.) He likely doesn't have the capacity to think fruitfully about the "reasons why he was suspended." So short of putting him in the stocks at home for days, I'm not sure what you're envisioning. You seem to be describing appropriate treatment for an NT 10 year old, not an autistic kindergartener.

Saying "this is a 5 year old with autism" in a general way like that is NOT doing anyone any favors. Certainly not the parents of children with an IEP for ASD.

What happens when people like you make generalizations like that is that next time there's a birthday party, or really anything at all, there will be a some hosts who don't invite him because they think "No way! He's a 5 year old WITH AUTISM!" and they expect a set of behavior that may or may not be anything like what this particular child exhibits. And ironically, it's also people like you who would be first to complain about your little Larlo not being invited to something when "he would be able to do that activity! And he wouldn't be a problem! They didn't give us a chance! Someone heard that our kid had an ASD IEP and they're judging us!" Or people will hear that a kid has an IEP for ASD and then not want their child working with that other child, etc etc etc. Basically a whole heap of judgements that are actually quite unfair. Every child on the spectrum has a unique set of challenges.

All we know is what PP wrote. She wrote that her child is intelligent and manipulative. She is his caretaker and parent who lives with him and presumably knows his behavior better than you do, and she said that he WOULD HAVE and/or COULD HAVE had control over himself, but CHOSE to misbehave because he wanted to stay home instead of going to school. He knew what the consequences would be, and he chose to misbehave because he preferred the consequences to the alternative. PP implied that had the school chosen another consequence, her child would not have misbehaved (or not misbehaved as much).

Of course he also needs hands on help in the environment. He most likely also needs a bunch of other support like someone cleaning up his diet, checking for nutritional deficiencies, hair analysis for metals, etc. But that doesn't change the fact that a boy made what seemed to be a rational decision to choose one consequence over the situation he was in. Everyone should be asking the question whether the consequence was too much fun or there are big problems at school, not making blanket statements about what it means to "have autism".

Anyway, to the PP I was originally talking to, I'd definitely investigate further to see what else could be going on (and wrong) at school, given that you say his behavior tends to be much better at home. Maybe it's simply the wrong school for him, for any number of reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a child with behavioral issues.

One of the ABSOLUTE WORST things that happened to him in K was repeated suspensions for behavioral episodes (this was with an IEP for ASD). Because he learned that if he did X, he would get rewarded with a day away from school. Suspending a child with behaviors is literally the most counterproductive thing this school can do. It took us years to recover from the fallout from this shitshow.

This was my child in Pre-K, but, instead of official suspensions, I just had to pick him up. Once we got an advocate involved, this kind of crap stopped. Now he's a much happier kiddo and doing so well in school.

A 4 day suspension is over the top here. I'm glad you're engaging personnel above the principal.

Also, I learned this at a great parenting class earlier this year: People are part of the environment. Thus, a poor environment can be brought on or worsened by people, just as good people can make it better. IF the para is not a good fit with your son, and the problems are environmental, the school needs to fix it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a child with behavioral issues.

One of the ABSOLUTE WORST things that happened to him in K was repeated suspensions for behavioral episodes (this was with an IEP for ASD). Because he learned that if he did X, he would get rewarded with a day away from school. Suspending a child with behaviors is literally the most counterproductive thing this school can do. It took us years to recover from the fallout from this shitshow.

How well did you follow up at home with other consequences? Was your child watching TV, playing consoles and/or playing with his toys all day? Or was he sitting in a boring room thinking about the reasons why he was suspended?

Schools aren't responsible for raising your kid(s). They need your help. If they suspend a child and his parents then reward him with a few days off school as if it's the weekend, then yeah, I can see why some kids would just want to do it again. Schools can't do all the heavy lifting. You need to help. (And yes, I have a child with SN.)

If you were doing your part as a parent, and having your child sit at the dining table or whatever for large parts of the day (whatever your child can not-comfortably manage) and reading quietly and thinking about why he's not at school playing and having fun like the other kids, and he was still WANTING to do that again (which is very different from not being able to control the behaviors, but actually trying to misbehave to get the reward), then I'd be seriously considering whether there's some kind of bullying or abuse going on at school, and trying to address that.

This is a 5 year old with autism we're talking about. He needs hands-on help IN THE ENVIRONMENT to be successful. Not to be made to sit at a table reading! And likely the school environment was stressful to him (the whole point is that he didn't want to be "at school playing and having fun like the other kids" because ... he was not like the other kids.) He likely doesn't have the capacity to think fruitfully about the "reasons why he was suspended." So short of putting him in the stocks at home for days, I'm not sure what you're envisioning. You seem to be describing appropriate treatment for an NT 10 year old, not an autistic kindergartener.

Saying "this is a 5 year old with autism" in a general way like that is NOT doing anyone any favors. Certainly not the parents of children with an IEP for ASD.

What happens when people like you make generalizations like that is that next time there's a birthday party, or really anything at all, there will be a some hosts who don't invite him because they think "No way! He's a 5 year old WITH AUTISM!" and they expect a set of behavior that may or may not be anything like what this particular child exhibits. And ironically, it's also people like you who would be first to complain about your little Larlo not being invited to something when "he would be able to do that activity! And he wouldn't be a problem! They didn't give us a chance! Someone heard that our kid had an ASD IEP and they're judging us!" Or people will hear that a kid has an IEP for ASD and then not want their child working with that other child, etc etc etc. Basically a whole heap of judgements that are actually quite unfair. Every child on the spectrum has a unique set of challenges.

All we know is what PP wrote. She wrote that her child is intelligent and manipulative. She is his caretaker and parent who lives with him and presumably knows his behavior better than you do, and she said that he WOULD HAVE and/or COULD HAVE had control over himself, but CHOSE to misbehave because he wanted to stay home instead of going to school. He knew what the consequences would be, and he chose to misbehave because he preferred the consequences to the alternative. PP implied that had the school chosen another consequence, her child would not have misbehaved (or not misbehaved as much).

Of course he also needs hands on help in the environment. He most likely also needs a bunch of other support like someone cleaning up his diet, checking for nutritional deficiencies, hair analysis for metals, etc. But that doesn't change the fact that a boy made what seemed to be a rational decision to choose one consequence over the situation he was in. Everyone should be asking the question whether the consequence was too much fun or there are big problems at school, not making blanket statements about what it means to "have autism".

Anyway, to the PP I was originally talking to, I'd definitely investigate further to see what else could be going on (and wrong) at school, given that you say his behavior tends to be much better at home. Maybe it's simply the wrong school for him, for any number of reasons.

You're being ridiculous to suggest that effective discipline would include shutting an autistic 5 year old up in his room to reflect on his behavior for FOUR DAYS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a child with behavioral issues.

One of the ABSOLUTE WORST things that happened to him in K was repeated suspensions for behavioral episodes (this was with an IEP for ASD). Because he learned that if he did X, he would get rewarded with a day away from school. Suspending a child with behaviors is literally the most counterproductive thing this school can do. It took us years to recover from the fallout from this shitshow.

How well did you follow up at home with other consequences? Was your child watching TV, playing consoles and/or playing with his toys all day? Or was he sitting in a boring room thinking about the reasons why he was suspended?

Schools aren't responsible for raising your kid(s). They need your help. If they suspend a child and his parents then reward him with a few days off school as if it's the weekend, then yeah, I can see why some kids would just want to do it again. Schools can't do all the heavy lifting. You need to help. (And yes, I have a child with SN.)

If you were doing your part as a parent, and having your child sit at the dining table or whatever for large parts of the day (whatever your child can not-comfortably manage) and reading quietly and thinking about why he's not at school playing and having fun like the other kids, and he was still WANTING to do that again (which is very different from not being able to control the behaviors, but actually trying to misbehave to get the reward), then I'd be seriously considering whether there's some kind of bullying or abuse going on at school, and trying to address that.

This is a 5 year old with autism we're talking about. He needs hands-on help IN THE ENVIRONMENT to be successful. Not to be made to sit at a table reading! And likely the school environment was stressful to him (the whole point is that he didn't want to be "at school playing and having fun like the other kids" because ... he was not like the other kids.) He likely doesn't have the capacity to think fruitfully about the "reasons why he was suspended." So short of putting him in the stocks at home for days, I'm not sure what you're envisioning. You seem to be describing appropriate treatment for an NT 10 year old, not an autistic kindergartener.

Saying "this is a 5 year old with autism" in a general way like that is NOT doing anyone any favors. Certainly not the parents of children with an IEP for ASD.

What happens when people like you make generalizations like that is that next time there's a birthday party, or really anything at all, there will be a some hosts who don't invite him because they think "No way! He's a 5 year old WITH AUTISM!" and they expect a set of behavior that may or may not be anything like what this particular child exhibits. And ironically, it's also people like you who would be first to complain about your little Larlo not being invited to something when "he would be able to do that activity! And he wouldn't be a problem! They didn't give us a chance! Someone heard that our kid had an ASD IEP and they're judging us!" Or people will hear that a kid has an IEP for ASD and then not want their child working with that other child, etc etc etc. Basically a whole heap of judgements that are actually quite unfair. Every child on the spectrum has a unique set of challenges.

All we know is what PP wrote. She wrote that her child is intelligent and manipulative. She is his caretaker and parent who lives with him and presumably knows his behavior better than you do, and she said that he WOULD HAVE and/or COULD HAVE had control over himself, but CHOSE to misbehave because he wanted to stay home instead of going to school. He knew what the consequences would be, and he chose to misbehave because he preferred the consequences to the alternative. PP implied that had the school chosen another consequence, her child would not have misbehaved (or not misbehaved as much).

Of course he also needs hands on help in the environment. He most likely also needs a bunch of other support like someone cleaning up his diet, checking for nutritional deficiencies, hair analysis for metals, etc. But that doesn't change the fact that a boy made what seemed to be a rational decision to choose one consequence over the situation he was in. Everyone should be asking the question whether the consequence was too much fun or there are big problems at school, not making blanket statements about what it means to "have autism".

Anyway, to the PP I was originally talking to, I'd definitely investigate further to see what else could be going on (and wrong) at school, given that you say his behavior tends to be much better at home. Maybe it's simply the wrong school for him, for any number of reasons.

You're being ridiculous to suggest that effective discipline would include shutting an autistic 5 year old up in his room to reflect on his behavior for FOUR DAYS.

Hair analysis for metals? Diet? oh my... if the rest of us were only as smart as you, none of our kids would have SN.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the part about the para-educator mocking your child really struck me. I think you need to make a big deal about this and, if I were you, i would make it a separate issue from the appeal of the suspension itself. I would not want my child around this person.

Op here: I will definitely be making this a point. She is also a teacher in the afterschool program and has gotten complaints on yelling at the children and being unnecessarily harsh. This came up at an all parent meeting the program had earlier this year.

OP, which is the person who mocked him? The para or the substitute specials teacher? You agreed with the PP here but in your OP you stated:

"He then asks the substitute if he can stay in class because he didn't do anything wrong. The substitute proceeds to mock him and repeats in a high pitched voice "I didn't do anything wrong." My son then runs away. "

It sounds like you've gotten one side of the story but can't seem to manage to keep that straight...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a child with behavioral issues.

One of the ABSOLUTE WORST things that happened to him in K was repeated suspensions for behavioral episodes (this was with an IEP for ASD). Because he learned that if he did X, he would get rewarded with a day away from school. Suspending a child with behaviors is literally the most counterproductive thing this school can do. It took us years to recover from the fallout from this shitshow.

How well did you follow up at home with other consequences? Was your child watching TV, playing consoles and/or playing with his toys all day? Or was he sitting in a boring room thinking about the reasons why he was suspended?

Schools aren't responsible for raising your kid(s). They need your help. If they suspend a child and his parents then reward him with a few days off school as if it's the weekend, then yeah, I can see why some kids would just want to do it again. Schools can't do all the heavy lifting. You need to help. (And yes, I have a child with SN.)

If you were doing your part as a parent, and having your child sit at the dining table or whatever for large parts of the day (whatever your child can not-comfortably manage) and reading quietly and thinking about why he's not at school playing and having fun like the other kids, and he was still WANTING to do that again (which is very different from not being able to control the behaviors, but actually trying to misbehave to get the reward), then I'd be seriously considering whether there's some kind of bullying or abuse going on at school, and trying to address that.

This is a 5 year old with autism we're talking about. He needs hands-on help IN THE ENVIRONMENT to be successful. Not to be made to sit at a table reading! And likely the school environment was stressful to him (the whole point is that he didn't want to be "at school playing and having fun like the other kids" because ... he was not like the other kids.) He likely doesn't have the capacity to think fruitfully about the "reasons why he was suspended." So short of putting him in the stocks at home for days, I'm not sure what you're envisioning. You seem to be describing appropriate treatment for an NT 10 year old, not an autistic kindergartener.

Saying "this is a 5 year old with autism" in a general way like that is NOT doing anyone any favors. Certainly not the parents of children with an IEP for ASD.

What happens when people like you make generalizations like that is that next time there's a birthday party, or really anything at all, there will be a some hosts who don't invite him because they think "No way! He's a 5 year old WITH AUTISM!" and they expect a set of behavior that may or may not be anything like what this particular child exhibits. And ironically, it's also people like you who would be first to complain about your little Larlo not being invited to something when "he would be able to do that activity! And he wouldn't be a problem! They didn't give us a chance! Someone heard that our kid had an ASD IEP and they're judging us!" Or people will hear that a kid has an IEP for ASD and then not want their child working with that other child, etc etc etc. Basically a whole heap of judgements that are actually quite unfair. Every child on the spectrum has a unique set of challenges.

All we know is what PP wrote. She wrote that her child is intelligent and manipulative. She is his caretaker and parent who lives with him and presumably knows his behavior better than you do, and she said that he WOULD HAVE and/or COULD HAVE had control over himself, but CHOSE to misbehave because he wanted to stay home instead of going to school. He knew what the consequences would be, and he chose to misbehave because he preferred the consequences to the alternative. PP implied that had the school chosen another consequence, her child would not have misbehaved (or not misbehaved as much).

Of course he also needs hands on help in the environment. He most likely also needs a bunch of other support like someone cleaning up his diet, checking for nutritional deficiencies, hair analysis for metals, etc. But that doesn't change the fact that a boy made what seemed to be a rational decision to choose one consequence over the situation he was in. Everyone should be asking the question whether the consequence was too much fun or there are big problems at school, not making blanket statements about what it means to "have autism".

Anyway, to the PP I was originally talking to, I'd definitely investigate further to see what else could be going on (and wrong) at school, given that you say his behavior tends to be much better at home. Maybe it's simply the wrong school for him, for any number of reasons.

You're being ridiculous to suggest that effective discipline would include shutting an autistic 5 year old up in his room to reflect on his behavior for FOUR DAYS.

Four day suspension is excessive for any 5 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a child with behavioral issues.

One of the ABSOLUTE WORST things that happened to him in K was repeated suspensions for behavioral episodes (this was with an IEP for ASD). Because he learned that if he did X, he would get rewarded with a day away from school. Suspending a child with behaviors is literally the most counterproductive thing this school can do. It took us years to recover from the fallout from this shitshow.

How well did you follow up at home with other consequences? Was your child watching TV, playing consoles and/or playing with his toys all day? Or was he sitting in a boring room thinking about the reasons why he was suspended?

Schools aren't responsible for raising your kid(s). They need your help. If they suspend a child and his parents then reward him with a few days off school as if it's the weekend, then yeah, I can see why some kids would just want to do it again. Schools can't do all the heavy lifting. You need to help. (And yes, I have a child with SN.)

If you were doing your part as a parent, and having your child sit at the dining table or whatever for large parts of the day (whatever your child can not-comfortably manage) and reading quietly and thinking about why he's not at school playing and having fun like the other kids, and he was still WANTING to do that again (which is very different from not being able to control the behaviors, but actually trying to misbehave to get the reward), then I'd be seriously considering whether there's some kind of bullying or abuse going on at school, and trying to address that.

This is a 5 year old with autism we're talking about. He needs hands-on help IN THE ENVIRONMENT to be successful. Not to be made to sit at a table reading! And likely the school environment was stressful to him (the whole point is that he didn't want to be "at school playing and having fun like the other kids" because ... he was not like the other kids.) He likely doesn't have the capacity to think fruitfully about the "reasons why he was suspended." So short of putting him in the stocks at home for days, I'm not sure what you're envisioning. You seem to be describing appropriate treatment for an NT 10 year old, not an autistic kindergartener.

Saying "this is a 5 year old with autism" in a general way like that is NOT doing anyone any favors. Certainly not the parents of children with an IEP for ASD.

What happens when people like you make generalizations like that is that next time there's a birthday party, or really anything at all, there will be a some hosts who don't invite him because they think "No way! He's a 5 year old WITH AUTISM!" and they expect a set of behavior that may or may not be anything like what this particular child exhibits. And ironically, it's also people like you who would be first to complain about your little Larlo not being invited to something when "he would be able to do that activity! And he wouldn't be a problem! They didn't give us a chance! Someone heard that our kid had an ASD IEP and they're judging us!" Or people will hear that a kid has an IEP for ASD and then not want their child working with that other child, etc etc etc. Basically a whole heap of judgements that are actually quite unfair. Every child on the spectrum has a unique set of challenges.

All we know is what PP wrote. She wrote that her child is intelligent and manipulative. She is his caretaker and parent who lives with him and presumably knows his behavior better than you do, and she said that he WOULD HAVE and/or COULD HAVE had control over himself, but CHOSE to misbehave because he wanted to stay home instead of going to school. He knew what the consequences would be, and he chose to misbehave because he preferred the consequences to the alternative. PP implied that had the school chosen another consequence, her child would not have misbehaved (or not misbehaved as much).

Of course he also needs hands on help in the environment. He most likely also needs a bunch of other support like someone cleaning up his diet, checking for nutritional deficiencies, hair analysis for metals, etc. But that doesn't change the fact that a boy made what seemed to be a rational decision to choose one consequence over the situation he was in. Everyone should be asking the question whether the consequence was too much fun or there are big problems at school, not making blanket statements about what it means to "have autism".

Anyway, to the PP I was originally talking to, I'd definitely investigate further to see what else could be going on (and wrong) at school, given that you say his behavior tends to be much better at home. Maybe it's simply the wrong school for him, for any number of reasons.

That PP said her kid has been out of kindergarten for years, so your advice is a little late.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a child with behavioral issues.

One of the ABSOLUTE WORST things that happened to him in K was repeated suspensions for behavioral episodes (this was with an IEP for ASD). Because he learned that if he did X, he would get rewarded with a day away from school. Suspending a child with behaviors is literally the most counterproductive thing this school can do. It took us years to recover from the fallout from this shitshow.

How well did you follow up at home with other consequences? Was your child watching TV, playing consoles and/or playing with his toys all day? Or was he sitting in a boring room thinking about the reasons why he was suspended?

Schools aren't responsible for raising your kid(s). They need your help. If they suspend a child and his parents then reward him with a few days off school as if it's the weekend, then yeah, I can see why some kids would just want to do it again. Schools can't do all the heavy lifting. You need to help. (And yes, I have a child with SN.)

If you were doing your part as a parent, and having your child sit at the dining table or whatever for large parts of the day (whatever your child can not-comfortably manage) and reading quietly and thinking about why he's not at school playing and having fun like the other kids, and he was still WANTING to do that again (which is very different from not being able to control the behaviors, but actually trying to misbehave to get the reward), then I'd be seriously considering whether there's some kind of bullying or abuse going on at school, and trying to address that.

This is a 5 year old with autism we're talking about. He needs hands-on help IN THE ENVIRONMENT to be successful. Not to be made to sit at a table reading! And likely the school environment was stressful to him (the whole point is that he didn't want to be "at school playing and having fun like the other kids" because ... he was not like the other kids.) He likely doesn't have the capacity to think fruitfully about the "reasons why he was suspended." So short of putting him in the stocks at home for days, I'm not sure what you're envisioning. You seem to be describing appropriate treatment for an NT 10 year old, not an autistic kindergartener.

Saying "this is a 5 year old with autism" in a general way like that is NOT doing anyone any favors. Certainly not the parents of children with an IEP for ASD.

What happens when people like you make generalizations like that is that next time there's a birthday party, or really anything at all, there will be a some hosts who don't invite him because they think "No way! He's a 5 year old WITH AUTISM!" and they expect a set of behavior that may or may not be anything like what this particular child exhibits. And ironically, it's also people like you who would be first to complain about your little Larlo not being invited to something when "he would be able to do that activity! And he wouldn't be a problem! They didn't give us a chance! Someone heard that our kid had an ASD IEP and they're judging us!" Or people will hear that a kid has an IEP for ASD and then not want their child working with that other child, etc etc etc. Basically a whole heap of judgements that are actually quite unfair. Every child on the spectrum has a unique set of challenges.

All we know is what PP wrote. She wrote that her child is intelligent and manipulative. She is his caretaker and parent who lives with him and presumably knows his behavior better than you do, and she said that he WOULD HAVE and/or COULD HAVE had control over himself, but CHOSE to misbehave because he wanted to stay home instead of going to school. He knew what the consequences would be, and he chose to misbehave because he preferred the consequences to the alternative. PP implied that had the school chosen another consequence, her child would not have misbehaved (or not misbehaved as much).

Of course he also needs hands on help in the environment. He most likely also needs a bunch of other support like someone cleaning up his diet, checking for nutritional deficiencies, hair analysis for metals, etc. But that doesn't change the fact that a boy made what seemed to be a rational decision to choose one consequence over the situation he was in. Everyone should be asking the question whether the consequence was too much fun or there are big problems at school, not making blanket statements about what it means to "have autism".

Anyway, to the PP I was originally talking to, I'd definitely investigate further to see what else could be going on (and wrong) at school, given that you say his behavior tends to be much better at home. Maybe it's simply the wrong school for him, for any number of reasons.

You're being ridiculous to suggest that effective discipline would include shutting an autistic 5 year old up in his room to reflect on his behavior for FOUR DAYS.

Hair analysis for metals? Diet? oh my... if the rest of us were only as smart as you, none of our kids would have SN.

Actually, a restricted diet and a lot of nutritional support (sometimes called 'biomed') has actually made an enormous difference for my SN child. It's a major PITA to restrict the diet so much and convince a younger child to take a bunch of pills every day (or sneak them into foods), but I'm delighted to not have my child suffer every single day and night like before. Science doesn't lie. Kids with ASD tend to have similar hair test results (e.g. low lithium, low zinc, high copper, high mercury) and correcting these things can make a huge difference in their behavior and overall happiness. It's unfortunate that you think so poorly of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a child with behavioral issues.

One of the ABSOLUTE WORST things that happened to him in K was repeated suspensions for behavioral episodes (this was with an IEP for ASD). Because he learned that if he did X, he would get rewarded with a day away from school. Suspending a child with behaviors is literally the most counterproductive thing this school can do. It took us years to recover from the fallout from this shitshow.

How well did you follow up at home with other consequences? Was your child watching TV, playing consoles and/or playing with his toys all day? Or was he sitting in a boring room thinking about the reasons why he was suspended?

Schools aren't responsible for raising your kid(s). They need your help. If they suspend a child and his parents then reward him with a few days off school as if it's the weekend, then yeah, I can see why some kids would just want to do it again. Schools can't do all the heavy lifting. You need to help. (And yes, I have a child with SN.)

If you were doing your part as a parent, and having your child sit at the dining table or whatever for large parts of the day (whatever your child can not-comfortably manage) and reading quietly and thinking about why he's not at school playing and having fun like the other kids, and he was still WANTING to do that again (which is very different from not being able to control the behaviors, but actually trying to misbehave to get the reward), then I'd be seriously considering whether there's some kind of bullying or abuse going on at school, and trying to address that.

This is a 5 year old with autism we're talking about. He needs hands-on help IN THE ENVIRONMENT to be successful. Not to be made to sit at a table reading! And likely the school environment was stressful to him (the whole point is that he didn't want to be "at school playing and having fun like the other kids" because ... he was not like the other kids.) He likely doesn't have the capacity to think fruitfully about the "reasons why he was suspended." So short of putting him in the stocks at home for days, I'm not sure what you're envisioning. You seem to be describing appropriate treatment for an NT 10 year old, not an autistic kindergartener.

Saying "this is a 5 year old with autism" in a general way like that is NOT doing anyone any favors. Certainly not the parents of children with an IEP for ASD.

What happens when people like you make generalizations like that is that next time there's a birthday party, or really anything at all, there will be a some hosts who don't invite him because they think "No way! He's a 5 year old WITH AUTISM!" and they expect a set of behavior that may or may not be anything like what this particular child exhibits. And ironically, it's also people like you who would be first to complain about your little Larlo not being invited to something when "he would be able to do that activity! And he wouldn't be a problem! They didn't give us a chance! Someone heard that our kid had an ASD IEP and they're judging us!" Or people will hear that a kid has an IEP for ASD and then not want their child working with that other child, etc etc etc. Basically a whole heap of judgements that are actually quite unfair. Every child on the spectrum has a unique set of challenges.

All we know is what PP wrote. She wrote that her child is intelligent and manipulative. She is his caretaker and parent who lives with him and presumably knows his behavior better than you do, and she said that he WOULD HAVE and/or COULD HAVE had control over himself, but CHOSE to misbehave because he wanted to stay home instead of going to school. He knew what the consequences would be, and he chose to misbehave because he preferred the consequences to the alternative. PP implied that had the school chosen another consequence, her child would not have misbehaved (or not misbehaved as much).

Of course he also needs hands on help in the environment. He most likely also needs a bunch of other support like someone cleaning up his diet, checking for nutritional deficiencies, hair analysis for metals, etc. But that doesn't change the fact that a boy made what seemed to be a rational decision to choose one consequence over the situation he was in. Everyone should be asking the question whether the consequence was too much fun or there are big problems at school, not making blanket statements about what it means to "have autism".

Anyway, to the PP I was originally talking to, I'd definitely investigate further to see what else could be going on (and wrong) at school, given that you say his behavior tends to be much better at home. Maybe it's simply the wrong school for him, for any number of reasons.

You're being ridiculous to suggest that effective discipline would include shutting an autistic 5 year old up in his room to reflect on his behavior for FOUR DAYS.

Hair analysis for metals? Diet? oh my... if the rest of us were only as smart as you, none of our kids would have SN.

Actually, a restricted diet and a lot of nutritional support (sometimes called 'biomed') has actually made an enormous difference for my SN child. It's a major PITA to restrict the diet so much and convince a younger child to take a bunch of pills every day (or sneak them into foods), but I'm delighted to not have my child suffer every single day and night like before. Science doesn't lie. Kids with ASD tend to have similar hair test results (e.g. low lithium, low zinc, high copper, high mercury) and correcting these things can make a huge difference in their behavior and overall happiness. It's unfortunate that you think so poorly of it.

Please support with peer-reviewed science published in reputable journals, or go elsewhere with your quackery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a child with behavioral issues.

One of the ABSOLUTE WORST things that happened to him in K was repeated suspensions for behavioral episodes (this was with an IEP for ASD). Because he learned that if he did X, he would get rewarded with a day away from school. Suspending a child with behaviors is literally the most counterproductive thing this school can do. It took us years to recover from the fallout from this shitshow.

How well did you follow up at home with other consequences? Was your child watching TV, playing consoles and/or playing with his toys all day? Or was he sitting in a boring room thinking about the reasons why he was suspended?

Schools aren't responsible for raising your kid(s). They need your help. If they suspend a child and his parents then reward him with a few days off school as if it's the weekend, then yeah, I can see why some kids would just want to do it again. Schools can't do all the heavy lifting. You need to help. (And yes, I have a child with SN.)

If you were doing your part as a parent, and having your child sit at the dining table or whatever for large parts of the day (whatever your child can not-comfortably manage) and reading quietly and thinking about why he's not at school playing and having fun like the other kids, and he was still WANTING to do that again (which is very different from not being able to control the behaviors, but actually trying to misbehave to get the reward), then I'd be seriously considering whether there's some kind of bullying or abuse going on at school, and trying to address that.

This is a 5 year old with autism we're talking about. He needs hands-on help IN THE ENVIRONMENT to be successful. Not to be made to sit at a table reading! And likely the school environment was stressful to him (the whole point is that he didn't want to be "at school playing and having fun like the other kids" because ... he was not like the other kids.) He likely doesn't have the capacity to think fruitfully about the "reasons why he was suspended." So short of putting him in the stocks at home for days, I'm not sure what you're envisioning. You seem to be describing appropriate treatment for an NT 10 year old, not an autistic kindergartener.

Saying "this is a 5 year old with autism" in a general way like that is NOT doing anyone any favors. Certainly not the parents of children with an IEP for ASD.

What happens when people like you make generalizations like that is that next time there's a birthday party, or really anything at all, there will be a some hosts who don't invite him because they think "No way! He's a 5 year old WITH AUTISM!" and they expect a set of behavior that may or may not be anything like what this particular child exhibits. And ironically, it's also people like you who would be first to complain about your little Larlo not being invited to something when "he would be able to do that activity! And he wouldn't be a problem! They didn't give us a chance! Someone heard that our kid had an ASD IEP and they're judging us!" Or people will hear that a kid has an IEP for ASD and then not want their child working with that other child, etc etc etc. Basically a whole heap of judgements that are actually quite unfair. Every child on the spectrum has a unique set of challenges.

All we know is what PP wrote. She wrote that her child is intelligent and manipulative. She is his caretaker and parent who lives with him and presumably knows his behavior better than you do, and she said that he WOULD HAVE and/or COULD HAVE had control over himself, but CHOSE to misbehave because he wanted to stay home instead of going to school. He knew what the consequences would be, and he chose to misbehave because he preferred the consequences to the alternative. PP implied that had the school chosen another consequence, her child would not have misbehaved (or not misbehaved as much).

Of course he also needs hands on help in the environment. He most likely also needs a bunch of other support like someone cleaning up his diet, checking for nutritional deficiencies, hair analysis for metals, etc. But that doesn't change the fact that a boy made what seemed to be a rational decision to choose one consequence over the situation he was in. Everyone should be asking the question whether the consequence was too much fun or there are big problems at school, not making blanket statements about what it means to "have autism".

Anyway, to the PP I was originally talking to, I'd definitely investigate further to see what else could be going on (and wrong) at school, given that you say his behavior tends to be much better at home. Maybe it's simply the wrong school for him, for any number of reasons.

You're being ridiculous to suggest that effective discipline would include shutting an autistic 5 year old up in his room to reflect on his behavior for FOUR DAYS.

Hair analysis for metals? Diet? oh my... if the rest of us were only as smart as you, none of our kids would have SN.

Actually, a restricted diet and a lot of nutritional support (sometimes called 'biomed') has actually made an enormous difference for my SN child. It's a major PITA to restrict the diet so much and convince a younger child to take a bunch of pills every day (or sneak them into foods), but I'm delighted to not have my child suffer every single day and night like before. Science doesn't lie. Kids with ASD tend to have similar hair test results (e.g. low lithium, low zinc, high copper, high mercury) and correcting these things can make a huge difference in their behavior and overall happiness. It's unfortunate that you think so poorly of it.

Glad it has helped your child and kids should be tested, but that isn't the cure all for most kids. Your child had a medical issue, not ASD. This child has not been fully evaluated and just could be having a bad day. I think everyone should be tested and not take tons of supplements they don't need if there is a concern.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a child with behavioral issues.

One of the ABSOLUTE WORST things that happened to him in K was repeated suspensions for behavioral episodes (this was with an IEP for ASD). Because he learned that if he did X, he would get rewarded with a day away from school. Suspending a child with behaviors is literally the most counterproductive thing this school can do. It took us years to recover from the fallout from this shitshow.

How well did you follow up at home with other consequences? Was your child watching TV, playing consoles and/or playing with his toys all day? Or was he sitting in a boring room thinking about the reasons why he was suspended?

Schools aren't responsible for raising your kid(s). They need your help. If they suspend a child and his parents then reward him with a few days off school as if it's the weekend, then yeah, I can see why some kids would just want to do it again. Schools can't do all the heavy lifting. You need to help. (And yes, I have a child with SN.)

If you were doing your part as a parent, and having your child sit at the dining table or whatever for large parts of the day (whatever your child can not-comfortably manage) and reading quietly and thinking about why he's not at school playing and having fun like the other kids, and he was still WANTING to do that again (which is very different from not being able to control the behaviors, but actually trying to misbehave to get the reward), then I'd be seriously considering whether there's some kind of bullying or abuse going on at school, and trying to address that.

This is a 5 year old with autism we're talking about. He needs hands-on help IN THE ENVIRONMENT to be successful. Not to be made to sit at a table reading! And likely the school environment was stressful to him (the whole point is that he didn't want to be "at school playing and having fun like the other kids" because ... he was not like the other kids.) He likely doesn't have the capacity to think fruitfully about the "reasons why he was suspended." So short of putting him in the stocks at home for days, I'm not sure what you're envisioning. You seem to be describing appropriate treatment for an NT 10 year old, not an autistic kindergartener.

Saying "this is a 5 year old with autism" in a general way like that is NOT doing anyone any favors. Certainly not the parents of children with an IEP for ASD.

What happens when people like you make generalizations like that is that next time there's a birthday party, or really anything at all, there will be a some hosts who don't invite him because they think "No way! He's a 5 year old WITH AUTISM!" and they expect a set of behavior that may or may not be anything like what this particular child exhibits. And ironically, it's also people like you who would be first to complain about your little Larlo not being invited to something when "he would be able to do that activity! And he wouldn't be a problem! They didn't give us a chance! Someone heard that our kid had an ASD IEP and they're judging us!" Or people will hear that a kid has an IEP for ASD and then not want their child working with that other child, etc etc etc. Basically a whole heap of judgements that are actually quite unfair. Every child on the spectrum has a unique set of challenges.

All we know is what PP wrote. She wrote that her child is intelligent and manipulative. She is his caretaker and parent who lives with him and presumably knows his behavior better than you do, and she said that he WOULD HAVE and/or COULD HAVE had control over himself, but CHOSE to misbehave because he wanted to stay home instead of going to school. He knew what the consequences would be, and he chose to misbehave because he preferred the consequences to the alternative. PP implied that had the school chosen another consequence, her child would not have misbehaved (or not misbehaved as much).

Of course he also needs hands on help in the environment. He most likely also needs a bunch of other support like someone cleaning up his diet, checking for nutritional deficiencies, hair analysis for metals, etc. But that doesn't change the fact that a boy made what seemed to be a rational decision to choose one consequence over the situation he was in. Everyone should be asking the question whether the consequence was too much fun or there are big problems at school, not making blanket statements about what it means to "have autism".

Anyway, to the PP I was originally talking to, I'd definitely investigate further to see what else could be going on (and wrong) at school, given that you say his behavior tends to be much better at home. Maybe it's simply the wrong school for him, for any number of reasons.

You're being ridiculous to suggest that effective discipline would include shutting an autistic 5 year old up in his room to reflect on his behavior for FOUR DAYS.

Hair analysis for metals? Diet? oh my... if the rest of us were only as smart as you, none of our kids would have SN.

Actually, a restricted diet and a lot of nutritional support (sometimes called 'biomed') has actually made an enormous difference for my SN child. It's a major PITA to restrict the diet so much and convince a younger child to take a bunch of pills every day (or sneak them into foods), but I'm delighted to not have my child suffer every single day and night like before. Science doesn't lie. Kids with ASD tend to have similar hair test results (e.g. low lithium, low zinc, high copper, high mercury) and correcting these things can make a huge difference in their behavior and overall happiness. It's unfortunate that you think so poorly of it.

Please support with peer-reviewed science published in reputable journals, or go elsewhere with your quackery.

Something most of us can agree on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a child with behavioral issues.

One of the ABSOLUTE WORST things that happened to him in K was repeated suspensions for behavioral episodes (this was with an IEP for ASD). Because he learned that if he did X, he would get rewarded with a day away from school. Suspending a child with behaviors is literally the most counterproductive thing this school can do. It took us years to recover from the fallout from this shitshow.

How well did you follow up at home with other consequences? Was your child watching TV, playing consoles and/or playing with his toys all day? Or was he sitting in a boring room thinking about the reasons why he was suspended?

Schools aren't responsible for raising your kid(s). They need your help. If they suspend a child and his parents then reward him with a few days off school as if it's the weekend, then yeah, I can see why some kids would just want to do it again. Schools can't do all the heavy lifting. You need to help. (And yes, I have a child with SN.)

If you were doing your part as a parent, and having your child sit at the dining table or whatever for large parts of the day (whatever your child can not-comfortably manage) and reading quietly and thinking about why he's not at school playing and having fun like the other kids, and he was still WANTING to do that again (which is very different from not being able to control the behaviors, but actually trying to misbehave to get the reward), then I'd be seriously considering whether there's some kind of bullying or abuse going on at school, and trying to address that.

This is a 5 year old with autism we're talking about. He needs hands-on help IN THE ENVIRONMENT to be successful. Not to be made to sit at a table reading! And likely the school environment was stressful to him (the whole point is that he didn't want to be "at school playing and having fun like the other kids" because ... he was not like the other kids.) He likely doesn't have the capacity to think fruitfully about the "reasons why he was suspended." So short of putting him in the stocks at home for days, I'm not sure what you're envisioning. You seem to be describing appropriate treatment for an NT 10 year old, not an autistic kindergartener.

Saying "this is a 5 year old with autism" in a general way like that is NOT doing anyone any favors. Certainly not the parents of children with an IEP for ASD.

What happens when people like you make generalizations like that is that next time there's a birthday party, or really anything at all, there will be a some hosts who don't invite him because they think "No way! He's a 5 year old WITH AUTISM!" and they expect a set of behavior that may or may not be anything like what this particular child exhibits. And ironically, it's also people like you who would be first to complain about your little Larlo not being invited to something when "he would be able to do that activity! And he wouldn't be a problem! They didn't give us a chance! Someone heard that our kid had an ASD IEP and they're judging us!" Or people will hear that a kid has an IEP for ASD and then not want their child working with that other child, etc etc etc. Basically a whole heap of judgements that are actually quite unfair. Every child on the spectrum has a unique set of challenges.

All we know is what PP wrote. She wrote that her child is intelligent and manipulative. She is his caretaker and parent who lives with him and presumably knows his behavior better than you do, and she said that he WOULD HAVE and/or COULD HAVE had control over himself, but CHOSE to misbehave because he wanted to stay home instead of going to school. He knew what the consequences would be, and he chose to misbehave because he preferred the consequences to the alternative. PP implied that had the school chosen another consequence, her child would not have misbehaved (or not misbehaved as much).

Of course he also needs hands on help in the environment. He most likely also needs a bunch of other support like someone cleaning up his diet, checking for nutritional deficiencies, hair analysis for metals, etc. But that doesn't change the fact that a boy made what seemed to be a rational decision to choose one consequence over the situation he was in. Everyone should be asking the question whether the consequence was too much fun or there are big problems at school, not making blanket statements about what it means to "have autism".

Anyway, to the PP I was originally talking to, I'd definitely investigate further to see what else could be going on (and wrong) at school, given that you say his behavior tends to be much better at home. Maybe it's simply the wrong school for him, for any number of reasons.

You're being ridiculous to suggest that effective discipline would include shutting an autistic 5 year old up in his room to reflect on his behavior for FOUR DAYS.

Four day suspension is excessive for any 5 year old.

Child is 7 but still a one day would be sufficient.

[Anonymous]

NP here. Looks like you have a 2E kid. With the classic heightened sense of justice. If you believe, as I think you should, his story, you don't have to go past the first step. He was falsely accused of throwing rocks at other kids. He says that didn't happen. Unless the adult saw it happen, they should not have taken a side in the dispute between children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a child with behavioral issues.

One of the ABSOLUTE WORST things that happened to him in K was repeated suspensions for behavioral episodes (this was with an IEP for ASD). Because he learned that if he did X, he would get rewarded with a day away from school. Suspending a child with behaviors is literally the most counterproductive thing this school can do. It took us years to recover from the fallout from this shitshow.

How well did you follow up at home with other consequences? Was your child watching TV, playing consoles and/or playing with his toys all day? Or was he sitting in a boring room thinking about the reasons why he was suspended?

Schools aren't responsible for raising your kid(s). They need your help. If they suspend a child and his parents then reward him with a few days off school as if it's the weekend, then yeah, I can see why some kids would just want to do it again. Schools can't do all the heavy lifting. You need to help. (And yes, I have a child with SN.)

If you were doing your part as a parent, and having your child sit at the dining table or whatever for large parts of the day (whatever your child can not-comfortably manage) and reading quietly and thinking about why he's not at school playing and having fun like the other kids, and he was still WANTING to do that again (which is very different from not being able to control the behaviors, but actually trying to misbehave to get the reward), then I'd be seriously considering whether there's some kind of bullying or abuse going on at school, and trying to address that.

This is a 5 year old with autism we're talking about. He needs hands-on help IN THE ENVIRONMENT to be successful. Not to be made to sit at a table reading! And likely the school environment was stressful to him (the whole point is that he didn't want to be "at school playing and having fun like the other kids" because ... he was not like the other kids.) He likely doesn't have the capacity to think fruitfully about the "reasons why he was suspended." So short of putting him in the stocks at home for days, I'm not sure what you're envisioning. You seem to be describing appropriate treatment for an NT 10 year old, not an autistic kindergartener.

Saying "this is a 5 year old with autism" in a general way like that is NOT doing anyone any favors. Certainly not the parents of children with an IEP for ASD.

What happens when people like you make generalizations like that is that next time there's a birthday party, or really anything at all, there will be a some hosts who don't invite him because they think "No way! He's a 5 year old WITH AUTISM!" and they expect a set of behavior that may or may not be anything like what this particular child exhibits. And ironically, it's also people like you who would be first to complain about your little Larlo not being invited to something when "he would be able to do that activity! And he wouldn't be a problem! They didn't give us a chance! Someone heard that our kid had an ASD IEP and they're judging us!" Or people will hear that a kid has an IEP for ASD and then not want their child working with that other child, etc etc etc. Basically a whole heap of judgements that are actually quite unfair. Every child on the spectrum has a unique set of challenges.

All we know is what PP wrote. She wrote that her child is intelligent and manipulative. She is his caretaker and parent who lives with him and presumably knows his behavior better than you do, and she said that he WOULD HAVE and/or COULD HAVE had control over himself, but CHOSE to misbehave because he wanted to stay home instead of going to school. He knew what the consequences would be, and he chose to misbehave because he preferred the consequences to the alternative. PP implied that had the school chosen another consequence, her child would not have misbehaved (or not misbehaved as much).

Of course he also needs hands on help in the environment. He most likely also needs a bunch of other support like someone cleaning up his diet, checking for nutritional deficiencies, hair analysis for metals, etc. But that doesn't change the fact that a boy made what seemed to be a rational decision to choose one consequence over the situation he was in. Everyone should be asking the question whether the consequence was too much fun or there are big problems at school, not making blanket statements about what it means to "have autism".

Anyway, to the PP I was originally talking to, I'd definitely investigate further to see what else could be going on (and wrong) at school, given that you say his behavior tends to be much better at home. Maybe it's simply the wrong school for him, for any number of reasons.

You're being ridiculous to suggest that effective discipline would include shutting an autistic 5 year old up in his room to reflect on his behavior for FOUR DAYS.

Hair analysis for metals? Diet? oh my... if the rest of us were only as smart as you, none of our kids would have SN.

Actually, a restricted diet and a lot of nutritional support (sometimes called 'biomed') has actually made an enormous difference for my SN child. It's a major PITA to restrict the diet so much and convince a younger child to take a bunch of pills every day (or sneak them into foods), but I'm delighted to not have my child suffer every single day and night like before. Science doesn't lie. Kids with ASD tend to have similar hair test results (e.g. low lithium, low zinc, high copper, high mercury) and correcting these things can make a huge difference in their behavior and overall happiness. It's unfortunate that you think so poorly of it.

Please support with peer-reviewed science published in reputable journals, or go elsewhere with your quackery.

Here's a guy from one of the major, well respected labs in the US making a statement about lithium: https://www.greatplainslaboratory.com/articles-1/2015/11/13/lithium-deficiency-common-in-mental-illness-and-social-ills
There are also links to articles.

Here's a study showing that "In conclusion, there were higher levels of the heavy metals mercury, lead, and aluminum in the hair of children with autism in comparison to controls":
https://www.hindawi.com/journals/bn/2015/545674/

They were literally the first 2 results on a simple google search.

If you want to help your child, you can go find all the information you need. Just open your eyes.

The hair test takes 3 minutes then you mail it away with a check. What have you got to lose? $40??? I can't believe any parent of any child with any SN (but especially ASD) wouldn't do it if they knew about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a child with behavioral issues.

One of the ABSOLUTE WORST things that happened to him in K was repeated suspensions for behavioral episodes (this was with an IEP for ASD). Because he learned that if he did X, he would get rewarded with a day away from school. Suspending a child with behaviors is literally the most counterproductive thing this school can do. It took us years to recover from the fallout from this shitshow.

How well did you follow up at home with other consequences? Was your child watching TV, playing consoles and/or playing with his toys all day? Or was he sitting in a boring room thinking about the reasons why he was suspended?

Schools aren't responsible for raising your kid(s). They need your help. If they suspend a child and his parents then reward him with a few days off school as if it's the weekend, then yeah, I can see why some kids would just want to do it again. Schools can't do all the heavy lifting. You need to help. (And yes, I have a child with SN.)

If you were doing your part as a parent, and having your child sit at the dining table or whatever for large parts of the day (whatever your child can not-comfortably manage) and reading quietly and thinking about why he's not at school playing and having fun like the other kids, and he was still WANTING to do that again (which is very different from not being able to control the behaviors, but actually trying to misbehave to get the reward), then I'd be seriously considering whether there's some kind of bullying or abuse going on at school, and trying to address that.

This is a 5 year old with autism we're talking about. He needs hands-on help IN THE ENVIRONMENT to be successful. Not to be made to sit at a table reading! And likely the school environment was stressful to him (the whole point is that he didn't want to be "at school playing and having fun like the other kids" because ... he was not like the other kids.) He likely doesn't have the capacity to think fruitfully about the "reasons why he was suspended." So short of putting him in the stocks at home for days, I'm not sure what you're envisioning. You seem to be describing appropriate treatment for an NT 10 year old, not an autistic kindergartener.

Saying "this is a 5 year old with autism" in a general way like that is NOT doing anyone any favors. Certainly not the parents of children with an IEP for ASD.

What happens when people like you make generalizations like that is that next time there's a birthday party, or really anything at all, there will be a some hosts who don't invite him because they think "No way! He's a 5 year old WITH AUTISM!" and they expect a set of behavior that may or may not be anything like what this particular child exhibits. And ironically, it's also people like you who would be first to complain about your little Larlo not being invited to something when "he would be able to do that activity! And he wouldn't be a problem! They didn't give us a chance! Someone heard that our kid had an ASD IEP and they're judging us!" Or people will hear that a kid has an IEP for ASD and then not want their child working with that other child, etc etc etc. Basically a whole heap of judgements that are actually quite unfair. Every child on the spectrum has a unique set of challenges.

All we know is what PP wrote. She wrote that her child is intelligent and manipulative. She is his caretaker and parent who lives with him and presumably knows his behavior better than you do, and she said that he WOULD HAVE and/or COULD HAVE had control over himself, but CHOSE to misbehave because he wanted to stay home instead of going to school. He knew what the consequences would be, and he chose to misbehave because he preferred the consequences to the alternative. PP implied that had the school chosen another consequence, her child would not have misbehaved (or not misbehaved as much).

Of course he also needs hands on help in the environment. He most likely also needs a bunch of other support like someone cleaning up his diet, checking for nutritional deficiencies, hair analysis for metals, etc. But that doesn't change the fact that a boy made what seemed to be a rational decision to choose one consequence over the situation he was in. Everyone should be asking the question whether the consequence was too much fun or there are big problems at school, not making blanket statements about what it means to "have autism".

Anyway, to the PP I was originally talking to, I'd definitely investigate further to see what else could be going on (and wrong) at school, given that you say his behavior tends to be much better at home. Maybe it's simply the wrong school for him, for any number of reasons.

You're being ridiculous to suggest that effective discipline would include shutting an autistic 5 year old up in his room to reflect on his behavior for FOUR DAYS.

Hair analysis for metals? Diet? oh my... if the rest of us were only as smart as you, none of our kids would have SN.

Actually, a restricted diet and a lot of nutritional support (sometimes called 'biomed') has actually made an enormous difference for my SN child. It's a major PITA to restrict the diet so much and convince a younger child to take a bunch of pills every day (or sneak them into foods), but I'm delighted to not have my child suffer every single day and night like before. Science doesn't lie. Kids with ASD tend to have similar hair test results (e.g. low lithium, low zinc, high copper, high mercury) and correcting these things can make a huge difference in their behavior and overall happiness. It's unfortunate that you think so poorly of it.

Please support with peer-reviewed science published in reputable journals, or go elsewhere with your quackery.

Here's a guy from one of the major, well respected labs in the US making a statement about lithium: https://www.greatplainslaboratory.com/articles-1/2015/11/13/lithium-deficiency-common-in-mental-illness-and-social-ills
There are also links to articles.

Here's a study showing that "In conclusion, there were higher levels of the heavy metals mercury, lead, and aluminum in the hair of children with autism in comparison to controls":
https://www.hindawi.com/journals/bn/2015/545674/

They were literally the first 2 results on a simple google search.

If you want to help your child, you can go find all the information you need. Just open your eyes.

The hair test takes 3 minutes then you mail it away with a check. What have you got to lose? $40??? I can't believe any parent of any child with any SN (but especially ASD) wouldn't do it if they knew about it.

The first link is not a peer reviewed article, it is written by the owner of a lab that sells the hair test.

The second link is based on Egyptian children, where mercury and lead levels are probably much higher than in the US, and in any event, does not support biomed treatment to reverse neurological damage due to lead or mercury exposure. If your kid has been exposed to lead or mercury, you can get a proper test and results interpretation from your pediatrician.

I wouldn't spend one penny supporting unproven, medically unsound tests or treatments.