She's pregnant - I'm freaking out

[Anonymous]

If she knows you don't want to be a dad would she still have the baby? thats an honest conversation you need to have with her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And does she want to get back with you?

OP here. I think she would. Like I said, we got along exceptionally well but I decided I didn't want to be a stepdad (and she was/is ultimately looking to remarry). So I broke it off.

Well now you're gonna be a dad. It's done; you'll stop freaking out after a few years, about when you can take them to PG13 movies. Welcome to the club.

You might as well get laid; she can't get more pregnant. Oh, and be nice to her. She's got a lot on her mind.

[Anonymous]

OP, how old are her kids?

[Anonymous]

Take a deeeeep breath, Mr. Magoo. You've got a baby coming!

[Anonymous]

She must be really freaking out right now. What she needs is love and support. Step up and give her that.

[Anonymous]

I would talk to a family lawyer. How this goes from now could have permanent financial/personal implications. You don't have believe that she was trying to trick you (I see no reason to do so) or that she's some money grubber but her interests aren't going to line up with yours. Speak to a family lawyer and see how best to proceed. This doesn't mean you have to take an adversarial approach to things. Just make sure that you are making decisions with all the facts.

[Anonymous]

I remember your other post OP.

I actually think you are incredibly lucky. I think this woman sounds like a great person who would be a wonderful life partner. I think your reasons for ending the relationship were somewhat misguided and immature....but if you were just not willing to take on those kids, fine.

Now, I predict, you will marry her and it will be the best thing that ever happened to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One day at a time, OP. This doesn't mean you have to get back together, since that's clearly not what you want (or you wouldn't have broken up with her to begin with). I'd start a conversation with an attorney in the meantime.

This is just dumb. He didn't want to be a stepdad because he wanted to avoid a messy situation. Ok, fine. But now he is going to be a father, and if he is not with the mom then guess what? It is going to be a messy situation. If he got along spectacularly with the woman as he is describing and they love each other, then might as well just go all in at this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I remember your other post OP.

I actually think you are incredibly lucky. I think this woman sounds like a great person who would be a wonderful life partner. I think your reasons for ending the relationship were somewhat misguided and immature....but if you were just not willing to take on those kids, fine.

Now, I predict, you will marry her and it will be the best thing that ever happened to you.

What was the other post

[Anonymous]

Definitely ask for paternity testing although you say you were exclusive. You do not want to pay for a child that isn't yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DO NOT believe her. Require paternity testing. If the child is yours, then do the right thing.

This. Trust but verify.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And does she want to get back with you?

OP here. I think she would. Like I said, we got along exceptionally well but I decided I didn't want to be a stepdad (and she was/is ultimately looking to remarry). So I broke it off.

What a great guy you are, OP.

Now you'll break her heart, her current children's hearts and leave another baby without a father.

Congratulations.

[Anonymous]

Do you like her? A lot? Then the thing to do is to see if you will be compatible long term. Because, you are in a relationship with her for THE NEXT 18 YEARS.

Don't get married right away, but if you like her, get back together. The baby will need you.

[Anonymous]

OP, it sounds like you got rid of a perfectly good relationship because you did not want to be a step parent...that seems silly to me if everything else is right. Now it is a completely different situation not that she is pregnant (assuming she is having the baby). You may want to consider if you want a family because if you do, and you love this woman, it is time to man up. If you truly never want a family, get snipped. Also, don't date women who want to have kids or who want to remarry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember your other post OP.

I actually think you are incredibly lucky. I think this woman sounds like a great person who would be a wonderful life partner. I think your reasons for ending the relationship were somewhat misguided and immature....but if you were just not willing to take on those kids, fine.

Now, I predict, you will marry her and it will be the best thing that ever happened to you.

What was the other post

+1
we need to tie this all together